He had been delaying telling Kyrie about his intentions as long as he could, but the longer he thought about it, the more he felt like that was the only option.
A few more days had passed after he'd reaffirmed his relationship with Kyrie, and he really just couldn't seem to think of another subtle way to introduce Kyrie into the bedroom. She'd effectively barred herself from ever coming in again for drawing, and he was drawing a blank on getting her in there some other way. Vivian would never go for a threesome if Renard just asked for it: Kyrie might since she was notoriously curious for someone who tried so hard to hide it, but Vivian would never. Other than getting Kyrie actively involved in the sex, there wasn't really any other reason for her to be there if not for the drawings.
Perhaps if he had shared his plan with Kyrie in the first place then they might've found some way to make the plan work together. He hadn't really wanted to tell Kyrie though because... well, honestly it was because he'd been hoping that he could avoid her getting upset at him. If he had gotten Vivian into the fold with this subtle hand then he never would've had to broach the daunting topic with Kyrie at all. He would still have to coax her into wanting to tell Isaac, but easing through one was better than having a hard time with both. Now though, he could think of no other way than just telling Vivian bluntly about his relationship with Kyrie. Not just tell Vivian though, he had to tell Kyrie what he was planning to do: it just didn't seem fair to effectively do this behind her back.
Maybe she'd be able to take it better now than she would've early on in their relationship? He certainly hoped so, because it was time to bring the issue to her at long last.
Opening the door to the menagerie, he quickly slid inside while he searched around for Kyrie. She wasn't in immediate view, unfortunately, so he carefully avoided the various creatures that the lady had housed in here as he moved in. It really did feel kind of like stepping into a jungle, though one that wasn't trying to actively kill at every opportunity. Eventually he did manage to find Kyrie, and he couldn't help just staring for a moment or two at the state that he found her in.
She had her skirt hiked up and tied higher on her legs, and she'd taken off her shoes and was actively in the gently flowing stream that ran through the menagerie. The sleeves of her dress were pushed up and she was leaning over to look at something in her hands; from what Renard could tell, she was inspecting what was some kind of amphibian. Honestly Renard had no idea what it was, but Kyrie had her face right up in it so it clearly wasn't that dangerous.
"What have you got there?"
At the sound of a voice behind her, Kyrie let out a yelp as her grip on the creature in her hand loosened just enough for it to be able to wriggle out of her hand and plop right back into the water. She frantically began looking around in the water for the creature that she'd dropped, but it had already disappeared among the rocks. Letting out a soft sigh, she then came to the realization of what state she was in when Renard had come in: not only was she a little more exposed but he'd also just witnessed her effectively fumble an animal. He definitely wasn't catching her at her finest.
"Well, nothing now."
She pouted just a little as she waded out of the water, and she avoided Renard's gaze by fixing them on her own dress as she undid the tie to let the material hang back down naturally.
"The lady asked me to check on that little guy because he was acting weird this morning, but he seems to be in perfectly fine shape to me. She said that he wasn't eating but I gave him some food just now and he gobbled it right up. I was trying to figure out what might have been wrong with him but you brought a rather abrupt end to that investigation."
"Sorry about that, I didn't mean to mess up your work. Though it doesn't sound like I interrupted too much, all things considered."
"I suppose not..."
This felt... Different. Usually when Renard approached her in the menagerie it felt like he always had some kind of agenda. This time though, when she turned her eyes up to look at him, it was as if he was doing nothing but loitering around. He was looking out towards the water right now, and Kyrie couldn't help following his gaze to see if he actually saw something. But no... There was nothing out there, nothing aside from the gently flowing water.
"Did you need something...?"
It felt weird to even ask Renard this question, mostly because she didn't think she'd ever asked him it before. She had approached him a number of times with no other agenda aside from to quietly watch him, but she didn't think he'd ever done that with her. Every time that he'd come to see her, he'd always gone straight to the point, whatever that point happened to be, but now here he was, hesitating. The fact that he was doing that made her feel nervous, like something was clearly wrong.
As Renard turned his face away from the water, he winced a little when he saw all that worry painted so clearly on Kyrie's face. Perhaps he could've gone about this a bit better, but there was no use lamenting all that now. Better for him to just move past it and let her know exactly why he was here.
"I can't keep hiding this, Kyrie, it's just not in my nature."
"Hiding this...?"
For a moment Kyrie had no idea what it was that he was referring to. What was he even hiding aside from his own feelings? These encounters that she had with him had been so firmly relegated in her mind as things that would never get out that it didn't even occur to her that Renard was talking about them. As Renard gave her a level stare though, understanding began to dawn on her face, and a mixture of utter terror and disbelief could be seen on her features now.
"You couldn't... You couldn't possibly mean...?"
She just couldn't seem to finish that sentence, as if bringing a voice to it would make it true. Why was this coming back up again? She had thought that they'd come up with a good solution for what they did together! Isaac and Vivian would never know about their affair, and they would never have to be upset about it. There was no reason for them to ever know, not when the only thing it would do would be to cause them unnecessary strife! What could possibly have possessed Renard to decide that he didn't want to keep hiding what they'd been doing? As she thought about this, she couldn't help her eyes glistening with emotion, and at the confirmation that she read on his face she choked out another statement.
"Renard, you can't..."
"I tried to do it the easier way, by having you become slowly initiated into the bedroom at night while I'm with Vivian. I was trying to get Vivian used to the idea of you being there, so then I might be able to introduce including you in sexual activities with Vivian's knowledge. That was the plan, anyway, but the two of you shut that avenue down pretty hard with your actions a week ago. If you have another idea on how I can break the news to her easily then I'm all ears, but I'm out of ideas myself."
Kyrie's mind raced over the reveal that Renard had just made here, and she could see now that her suspicion that there was more to her drawing Vivian and Renard was correct. She finally knew what the agenda was, and as a result she understood exactly why Renard had been so upset about Kyrie drawing him in secret. Her doing that had completely ruined his plan... Despite this being new information for her, it wasn't actually the primary thought in her mind: the overwhelming thought was of the impending doom lying on the horizon.
"But why would you even tell her?! You agreed that you'd be willing to keep this whole thing a secret! We can't tell her, Renard! Do you not understand how devastated she would be? How... How devastated I'd be..?"
The last sentence was said quite a bit quieter than the rest of it, because the thought of losing Vivian's friendly affection made the moisture in her eyes threaten to fall. They felt closer now than they ever had before, and if Renard went in and decided to just tell Vivian that he was also sleeping with Kyrie, there was no way that she would ever want to speak to her again! Kyrie would then be like Dessi to Vivian, and having Vivian treat her like she treated Dessi would be horribly depressing, especially because their relationship had started so close. They were all so happy right now, and Kyrie dreaded losing that happiness.
"I know, I know I agreed initially but I just can't keep this up. I'm tired of having to hide in the shadows to do this, I'm tired of this being considered some forbidden thing instead of something perfectly normal, healthy, even. It's never been in my nature to lie about my relationships with other women; I don't usually draw attention to them, it's true, but continuing to keep Vivian in the dark about all of this just feels wrong. It shouldn't be something that Vivian finds out about by accident, it should be something that she finds out from my own lips."
"But she... But she won't even find out by accident, you know that we can be vigilant and careful."
This protest sounded weak even to her ears, but she just... Couldn't accept the thought of Vivian being upset with her. She couldn't really contend with the unspoken argument that it was better to have all this in the open, because it probably would make Renard feel better, and it was legitimately the right thing to do in this case. As a result she had latched onto the only part of his statement that she could dispute. Even if it was a weak argument...
Had she become too complacent in their secret? Once they'd decided not to share what they'd done, all the worry and guilt about doing it had slowly disappeared in Kyrie's mind. Vivian and Isaac would never know what happened when they weren't looking, and they would never have to be hurt by it. Kyrie had taken it for granted that their secret would remain a secret forever.
If she had known from the beginning that she would have to eventually reveal what she'd done to Vivian, would her relationship with Renard have even gotten as far as it had? No she... She didn't think it would have. She was so averse to confrontation that there was no way she would've wanted it to continue, not even if she was a little curious about the relationship.
...What about now though?
She didn't want to lose Vivian still, but she also didn't want to lose her time with Renard, either, and she just wasn't sure how to reconcile those feelings.
"I know she won't find out about us, but it doesn't change the fact that I want to tell her. This secret hangs over my head every time I go to interact with her and enough is enough."
Kyrie's mind raced at the implications of this: if he was telling Vivian, would she have to break the news to Isaac? The moisture in her eyes was dangerously close to spilling over as Renard's statement began to sink in: the mere thought of trying to tell them what they'd done made her want to cry. Vivian and Isaac would think so much less of her and there was no way they'd continue to be as close as they were now. Was there really no way that she could convince Renard that telling them wasn't necessary?
One look into his determined eyes told her everything that she needed to know, and she blinked hard as she tried to stem the tide of tears. She didn't want this. She didn't want any of this. But what could she really say? How could she possibly fight against what was just objectively the right thing to do? She knew they never should've hidden it to begin with, and yet a part of her had hoped so desperately that things would be able to stay hidden forever. That she would never have to reveal to her friend and lover about how badly she had betrayed both of them...
As the pain slowly spread across Kyrie's features, Renard knew that ultimately he'd be able to get Kyrie to accept what he was doing. Not only did she tend to fold to a stronger will, but she also knew, deep down, that telling the others about all of this was the better choice. Still, he did feel a bit bad about all this: one of the few things that she'd actually expressed a clear opinion about he was trampling all over right now. This was going to be better in the long run though, both for the two of them and for Isaac and Vivian. Sure, Vivian was going to hate hearing what he had to say, but if they could get through this hurdle, if she still loved him once the dust settled, then their relationship with each other would be even stronger than it was before. They both were making an effort to get to know each other more, and it just felt wrong to omit this since it was such an important piece.
Surely Kyrie's relationship with both Isaac and Vivian was good enough to survive this setback.
In an effort to try and comfort Kyrie, at least a little in her internal struggle, Renard moved close to her, gently cupping her cheek in his hand and brushing under her eyes with his thumbs, which still miraculously had not begun crying.
"Things will turn out alright, Kyrie. Vivian will be upset, but she loves you too much to leave you entirely, and I'm not saying we have to tell Isaac now either. I'd like to in the future, but better to start one at a time, don't you think?"
He gave her a soft smile, but Kyrie just couldn't bring herself to return it. Instead, her face scrunched with emotion, and her eyes once again blinked furiously to keep the moisture held back.
"... Do we really have to tell them?"
"You already know the answer to that question, Kyrie."
Bowing her head at that response, Renard finally felt the tears that had been building spill down her face to hit his hand. She didn't say anything though, she simply shook softly as the tears wracked her body.
Her world, which seemed to have finally settled into something perfect, was going to come crashing down all around her. What could she do? What could she possibly do to try and keep what she had spent so long building up with her friend and her lover?
"Do you really understand how painful this is going to be?"
Kyrie's voice was choked with emotion as she brought her own hands up to her face, covering her eyes now as she tried to rein in the tears at least a little, but she just couldn't seem to get them to stop flowing.
"Yeah... Yeah I do."
Renard spoke softly, but his own emotions slipped through enough in the words that Kyrie knew he wasn't just saying it to comfort her. This was going to hurt, it was going to be agonizing to watch their loved ones go through the betrayal and hurt that they were going to go through, but the decision had been made.
She just... hoped so desperately that Vivian and Isaac would still be able to look at her after this with anything more than just contempt.
Pushing Renard away from herself rather suddenly, he was a little surprised to see Kyrie do this. She was still crying, this was something that was clearly going to be bothering her for a while yet, and yet she was pushing away what little comfort Renard was trying to give.
"Then go and do it. I can't... I can't try and stop you anymore."
Letting her hands drop from him so that she could hug herself, she refused to meet Renard's eyes anymore. Even though she told him to leave, he couldn't help coming back in briefly for one last touch. Gently kissing the side of her face, he mussed her hair comfortingly as he spoke.
"Everything will be alright, Kyrie. We'll get through this, you'll see."
She gave him the best smile she could muster in these circumstances, and while it was rather weak and pathetic, that was enough for Renard. Letting her go, he slowly backed away for a couple steps before turning and leaving the menagerie. He had to do this tonight, as early as possible... No need to keep Kyrie in a state of distress for that long. Well... She'd still be distressed afterwards, most likely, but once the news hit she'd be able to actually start trying to fix the damage. With that in mind he headed back out to the garden, eager for the day to end.
Kyrie though, she just sunk down onto the ground once Renard left her view, plopping onto one of the rocks by the stream and staring silently at nothing. While Renard was eager for the day to end, Kyrie wished the end of the day would never come. For this brief moment in time, she and Vivian were still great friends, but soon that was likely to disintegrate and crumble.
Burying her face into her knees, she closed her eyes and just remained there for a while.