Radiant Age, April 6, 1127
After leaving Atom's tower, I made my way home, cooked dinner, and drifted off to sleep. The night was peaceful, but my battle with my night terrors began.
Finally, I opened my eyes to the blinding light that filtered through the window. My room was a mess, and I was halfway off the bed. My feet dangled there, likely kicking all kinds of things around as I slept. In my dreams… a particular symbol resonated in my mind. It was the same one from the ancient ruins…
It haunted me… as if there was a curse placed on me after seeing it.
"…What does it mean?"
I wondered what that symbol meant. Eventually, my concerns faded from my mind as I sat up and began cleaning up my room. It was early, and I had time today. I had no plans to go to the city either. I planned to meditate and read a few books I brought when I traveled to Radiant City.
"…You know… I never heard myself scream at night…."
I questioned as I cleaned up my room…
How badly do I scream in my sleep? If someone I met recently heard me screech as I slept… would they treat me as badly as the bullies in the orphanage did?
As I picked up the nightstand that I must have pushed over at night… I thought about all of this. Maxwell… was at the forefront of my mind this morning.
"Maxwell…"
I whispered his name. When he first uttered it to me, it was cold and full of what felt like contempt. As if I was just a flea that was bothering him… but then he nurtured me to who I am today. I've fought trials and survived.
I battled at the ancient ruins with a beast unknown to most… It was massive, but my training helped me when I needed it. Then I had a standoff with a machine nobody had dealt with before. All thanks to his teachings, I was able to live… Maxwell is why I can live.
Finally, my room was orderly. It was nowhere near clean, but I nodded that I did a job well done regardless. In the mood for a small breakfast, I went into the kitchen and cooked up something simple. It was rice that I bought from the city alongside fresh vegetables that I kept in the cooler. After chopping up the delicious collection of greens and boiling the rice, it was done in less than twenty minutes. Nothing special… As long as I ate it. That's all that mattered in the end.
"I'll stay home today."
I stated as I finished off my meal. I cleaned up, got a good book in hand, and leaned against the wall of my room as I sat down. I could hear the light chirping of the birds outside and the scurrying from the small animals as well. Everything was… right. Just as it should be.
"Finished."
I set my reading material down. It took longer than I expected, but eventually, I finished the book I started before coming to Radiant City.
"I have to buy more books..."
I haven't had the chance to look into more reading material with all the chaos of this place since I got here. I noted that I'd buy some the next time I was in town. Casually, I stood up and put my book away. The ending was a bit sad for my taste, and it put me in a somber mood. I needed a pick-me-up, so I decided to take my sword and venture into the forest behind me.
When I stepped out the doorway, it was cloudy and looked like it would rain soon. But the air was lovely, and I casually strolled in the forest. What I was looking for didn't come to mind as I glanced about the place. I moved here a month ago, but I haven't set aside the time to truly enjoy the outdoors.
"This forest is… stunning."
It was lively, unlike how my home became before I left. The trees were dying, wildlife was scarce, and beasts were roaming more often than not. I couldn't understand what changed over those years I was there… training. It was like someone turned on a switch, and everything began to die before my eyes. Maxwell had to forcefully tell me to leave… and I'm glad he did. I doubted that I would have survived for much longer there.
Nonchalantly, I followed a specific path. Subconsciously I knew where I was going. To that perfect place with the bright blue lake and lime green grass. An ideal part of the world where I played with… a certain someone the other day. As I made my way down the pathway that Yuu Yuu showed me, I came to an opening. Excitedly, I jumped out from the collection of trees…
"Huh?"
My mouth opened slightly as I saw the scene in front of me. There was no lake… just a crater in the place where I swore it was before. The grass was off-brown, and there wasn't any wildlife like before. It felt like I stepped into a graveyard. Curiously, I walked about, earning the severe crunch of twigs from dead trees around me.
"Did I take a wrong turn?"
I couldn't imagine that I did. I've lived in the wild my entire life, and I would consider myself a skilled tracker by every sense of the word. I could tell if trees were disturbed, tracks were made, likely routes that should lead to bodies of water, and the like. But here it was… before my eyes, the seemingly impossible. Slowly, I walked over to the crater. It was empty but had a bottom I could step in without hurting myself.
I jumped down and felt the mud below my feet. I touched the bottom, and it was wet as if there was water here only a moment ago, but it was drained. Like someone pulled the plug in the bath, and all the water spiraled out of existence.
"…What the heck?"
Concerned, I made my way to the other side of the crater. When I reached the other side, I started walking around. Nothing felt familiar here, and… in a way, it was scaring me. The air was heavy to breathe here, and it felt like I was doing something wrong. A sense of dread was coming over me as I stepped closer to a very… familiar place.
"The… bonfire?"
I looked at a heap of ash. It was circular, and I could see remains of wood scattered across the ground. The air was suffocating as I looked about the place more. The trees were dead around here, and those long logs we sat on from before were a horrid grey and severely rotten…
"…"
I attempted to speak, but the words couldn't come out of my mouth. This place wasn't just eerie anymore…
It became terrifying suddenly. My breathing came to a halt, and I fell to the ground. My body wouldn't gather air no matter how hard I tried. It felt like I was underwater as the stale air rushed through my lungs. My mind began to spin, and I closed my eyes. The last thing I remember was my body falling to the ground before I woke up in bed.
"Ahh…"
I was drooling over my sheets.
"Huh?"
At some point in time, I must have drifted back to sleep. I wasn't dressed, and everything was in order.
"What… an odd dream..."
I sat up on the side of my bed… and I thought about that beautiful land Yuu Yuu had brought me to before. Then I compared it to the dream version I saw.
Something in me… wanted to see Yuu Yuu. I couldn't understand the feeling, but I… needed to see Yuu Yuu. This feeling in me wanted me to…
To…
Hold her like before…
"…Sorry, Maxwell…"
I knew I was breaking the creed once again and apologized beforehand. Slowly I got dressed. It was like déjà vu as I did, though. The dream I had moments ago felt too vivid to be fake. But as I thought about it more… it began to feel more and more like a dream. It was like when a person falls asleep and feels like they've lived in their dream world for years. When they wake up, it takes a bit for reality to set in and show them that it was… just a dream.
I stepped out the door, and the sky was cloudy. The similarities were striking, and it only made me believe it wasn't a dream. I marched off my porch and made my way into the forest. Calmly, I followed the same path as before, but there were significant differences, unlike my dream…
"This way… right?"
I had a sharper memory of where I had to go. My tracking skills showed me the right path. It felt completely different from my dream, so I was able to disassociate myself from it. Suddenly, I came to that break in the trees that looked all the different. When I entered, those beautiful light blue waters greeted me with open arms. It was a tad cloudy, so it didn't shine as glamorous as before, but this was the place.
"…"
I didn't say a word as a grin came to my face.
"F-Feodora?"
From across the way, the timid loner looked at me. Her eyes went bright as she waded across the water, came to shore, and rushed at me. She stopped at my feet and lowered her head.
"Oh… ah… I-I didn't expect you… t-to show up."
"Oh… ah…"
I looked at her, and those feelings began to cause my heart to throb harder.
"… I wanted to see you."
I confessed as I put my hands behind my back.
"Ah… listen, Yuu Yuu."
I thought about what Maxwell told me briefly, but like a match that was at the end of its wick, his warnings faded in the distance.
"… I don't like being around people…"
My words were ahead of my mind, but I got out what was in my chest.
"But… but you… seem different… and…"
The courage to speak my mind was something I lacked at times due to my lack of social interactions. This wasn't like the survival skills that were beaten into me every day. Maxwell didn't teach me the proper etiquette to speak with others or adequately say how I felt. There was no reason for him to… that would be breaking his own laws.
But I needed to express what was in my heart… ultimately shattering the warnings from my mentor.
"… I wanted… to see you badly. I… I think I want to get to know you a lot better."
It was hard… but it came out. When I forced my eyes to turn back to Yuu Yuu, she had a surprised look. Her rounded cheeks were a light shade of pink, and she pushed her hair across her face.
"Oh… ah…F-Feodora… I…"
She stammered. I couldn't tell, but it felt as though… she felt indifferent about my feelings. I couldn't make out her wariness, and it showed… how socially immature I was.
"Wh-What's your favorite color?"
Nervously, she asked. I was confused… So I answered just like a confused person would.
"Ah… I like black a lot."
Her eyes lowered, and suddenly she began to giggle. Annoyed, I put my hands on my hip.
"W-What's so funny?"
"I-It… was super obvious that you liked black."
With her hands behind her back, she smiled brightly at me.
"I like white…."
She reached out, took my hand like before, and tilted her head at me.
"What else do you like, Feodora?"
Slowly, she began pulling me along with her like she was inviting me to her palace. Before I knew it, I was side by side as she wrapped her arms in mine and set her head on my shoulder.
"Ah… should I just list things off?"
This was the closest I've ever been with someone. The pink bunny was soft as we walked. Gently, Yuu Yuu would push her body closer to me. She was a bit more shapely than the other girls I've met in Radiant City, and she showed that. I... found myself thinking about her in all kinds of ways.
"What's your favorite food?"
"I like… green tomatoes. Fried green tomatoes the most."
"Those are super sour!"
She teased.
"I like sweets more… like strawberries. Grapes are probably my favorite food."
A smile came on my face as I turned back to her.
"I'm growing strawberries and grapes back at home."
"You know how to grow food, F-Feodora?! Everything I grow dies…."
Dejectedly, Yuu Yuu pushed her head into my side. We continued walking along the river like this.
"You know, Feodora… Yuu Yuu doesn't like people."
She whispered.
"Hm?"
"That's why Yuu Yuu lives far away from Radiant City. Yuu Yuu… really doesn't like people."
I noticed before, but there were times when Yuu Yuu acted like she was an observer to the conversation. As if she decided that she was a third party in the discussions she felt uncomfortable in. But before I could look into it further, she turned directly towards me and looked me in the eye.
"But… I-I-I…. ever since that first night I ran from you… I think I…."
She sighed.
"I think I… noticed that I found someone I don't mind seeing…."
Before I knew it… I found myself caressing Yuu Yuu's round cheeks. She continued softly.
"I… think… I …kind of… like you, F-Feodora."
She admitted, holding my hand onto her face.
"You remind me of a small animal… and I love small animals."
The heat of my body was rushing to my face. I needed to say something, else I wouldn't be able to live with myself.
"…"
I opened my mouth… knowing full well I was striking against a creed I was begged to follow.
"I like you too… and…. I want to get to know you better, Yuu Yuu…."
It was like we both had two separate keys, and they finally came together. Her cheek became wet suddenly as she approached closer to me.
"D-Do you mean it? Y-You want to get to know… me? Not Yuu Yuu…. but me?"
Before I could answer her odd question, she buried her face into my chest. Slowly she rubbed her nose on me like a kitten.
"I-I never… had someone…. Think that way about me before."
She stood up on her tippy toes and grabbed me tighter.
"I want to tell you all about me. I like birds… a lot. And squirrels and horses and…."
Yuu Yuu began shooting out animals like a Gatling gun. It was then something simple passed my mind as I held her in my arms…
We both seemed to be socially awkward… as if our lives were spent away from people…
And I believe that's what drew me into her the most…
That powerful urge to hold her was overbearing as I wrapped my arms around her even tighter. She calmed down and stopped blurting out animals as my arms wrapped around her shoulders.
"Don't worry… we have time to chat, Yuu Yuu… I'm… not going anywhere for a while..."
I could feel her body warm-up as we finally met each other's eyes. I couldn't understand what was going on in her mind by the look she gave me, but as the pull between us started to draw us closer, we approached slowly.
"F-Feodora?"
"Yuu Yuu…"
The heat of her tickled along my lips. I could oddly taste the sweetness from her breath as we slowly got closer. The waves were calm. It felt like the wildlife was giving us our time alone…
This world was too perfect to be…
But suddenly, the sky opened up just as the top of her lips danced above mine. It wasn't a tiny storm either. It was like buckets were being dumped on us intentionally. My hair stuck to my face as we both looked up at the sky. Our clothing was drenched in an instant.
"Eh?!"
Yuu Yuu complained as she looked over her shoulder.
"Why did you have to do that?!"
She shouted at the sky. It… was adorable…I found myself giggling as I took her soft hand.
"Let's get out of the rain."
I suggested. This time I pulled Yuu Yuu along with me instead. We made our way outside the beautiful valley and up to my home. Yuu Yuu and I were soaked in the rain. It was to the point that our clothes were sticking to our bodies. I ushered her in and shook my head like a dog.
"Eh?!"
I noticed I did something socially wrong as I turned back to the pink bunny. I was embarrassed that the girl I... liked... might look at me strangely. However, just like me, Yuu Yuu was… shaking her head like a dog too. I… felt then and there that we had more in common than I could have ever imagined.
"I have some spare clothing for us. It's just a nightgown, but you should be able to fit it."
I rushed into my room and brought out a pair of gowns I used when lazing around. Yuu Yuu held it in her hands and put it to her nose. It was white… just like her favorite color…
"…It smells nice."
She complimented before turning back to me.
"Our chest sizes are a bit different, though, F-Feodora."
"Ah... yeah."
She was... bigger in that area than I was. There was no comparing it. I rubbed the back of my head shamefully... It was apparent that... the size there would be the problem. The bunny giggled, and it took me a bit to realize she was actually teasing me. Cutely, she backed up, holding the white gown behind her back.
"There's a bathroom over there. I'll get the fire going, and we can dry our clothing..."
I've never had anyone over my home before, so I couldn't tell if my place was dirty or clean by her standards. Instead of saying anything, she bounced over to the door. The white uniform she wore… made it easy to see her pure white bra underneath because of how damp it was.
After a moment inside the bathroom, Yuu Yuu peaked out. Playfully, the troublemaker threw her clothing on the floor in front of me and hid within the room again. On the floor was her uniform. When I picked it up... I reminded myself that... these were Yuu Yuu's. Not only that, but... I was able to catch a glimpse of her body before she shut the door…
It was then that I realized…
I brought someone that I… kind of liked to my house… A person I... found relatively attractive...
This was far beyond breaking my creed. But instead of dwelling on that, I cleaned up the room with my fireplace, put our wet clothing around it, and got into my own gown.
"Feodora…"
Her soft voice resonated in my ear as I turned around. She was in the pure white dress that stopped at her knees. She looked happy… wearing her favorite color. I kept on my black nightgown… because my favorite color was black.
"Are you warm?"
I asked. Instead of answering me, The bunny tattered over to me and pushed those soft arms around me.
"Huff!"
I cried as we both fell on the floor. There we lay in each other's arms. For some reason, I began to giggle, and Yuu Yuu did too. In the space of the fire, we stared into each other's eyes.
"Tell me more about you, Feodora…."
She asked as she shifted her body closer to me.
"…Well, there's not much to say. I used to live in a forest. I was there for around 10 or so years with my mentor… before that, I grew up in an orphanage…."
I closed my eyes and recalled those times.
"I don't know who my biological parents are or why I was in the orphanage. All my memories became established as I was there."
Yuuna listened intently as I continued.
"…I…."
I became afraid as I reached deep into my heart and confessed something…
"I scream at… night… when I sleep..."
I'm not even sure why I brought it up. As If the bunny could sense the fear in my voice… Yuu Yuu's soft fingers touched my lips and spoke slowly…
"Like a… banshee?"
That word was one I hadn't heard in years. The rain outside hit on the windows. The heat of the fire was roaring. I felt as though my back was being seared. Intently, I looked into Yuu Yuu's eyes, and I felt a light haze surround me.
Flashes of light came to my mind, and I found myself thinking about a girl from the past…
If I recall correctly, she had pink hair. At the time, she was being teased. Those three bullies made her run around like a dog, and it upset me. It was that day when I punched one of them in the nose. It was the taller one with short blond hair. I broke her nose… and that led to the other two tossing me away like trash into the forest.
"…Hey…"
I began to ask…
"How did you know… people used to call me banshee?"
Her grip on my body became tighter as she pushed her head on my chest.
"I don't remember much… before being sent to the orphanage…."
Yuu Yuu began suddenly.
"But I was adopted…by the Light Camp. It was there that I met mother… and was separated from everyone…"
Concerned, I listened closely.
"I was given… to my mentor later on..."
"Your mentor?"
She nodded softly.
"Janova… her name is… Janova. She taught me how to enchant… and use my lack of a vessel to do amazing things. It's because of her… that I can play with small animals…."
Cutely, she turned back to me.
"Thank you… for protecting Yuu Yuu that day..."
I was awed at what she said. It was like she reached into my mind, found that memory, and brought it out. She didn't go into what she meant, but I think we both realized something… something essential…
Could it be that we'd known each other back then? In the past, the pink-haired girl ran away from me before I could talk to her. Could she have been… that bunny who ran from me back then?
Instead of going further into it… I held Yuu Yuu all the tighter. We searched each other's eyes once again. This time the room was warm, unlike the cold outside. Her irises were bright, like stars, and I always found them fascinating. Nobody in my life up until this point had struck me quite like her...
It was simple...
and I needed to make it simple...
So I gathered the courage in my chest and said what had been obviously spiraling in my heart since the first night we met...
"…I like you, Yuu Yuu."
I confessed as my eyes fell slightly.
"…I like you too, F-Feodora."
She whispered tenderly.
Our lips came closer as she pushed her body next to mine. The softness of her engulfed me as I held her back tighter. Her bright pink eyes lowered like mine, and I felt the tip of her top lip touch mine. There was no going back from here…so I embraced her warm lips with mine. For a moment, my mind was in a haze as it fell back to that pink-haired girl who ran off… crying to the orphanage mother.
But this time, I wasn't letting her run so quickly…
The warmth of her skin pressed against me as we shared this tender moment. I found her a tad more aggressive as she pecked my lips longer. Yuu Yuu… the timid loner, seemed to have this playful side to her that attracted me. It felt like... this moment had been years in the making. There had been times that I thought about that girl who ran away from me. Was she scared of me? Did she hate me like everyone else? Those questions were still unanswered...
But it didn't matter, at least tonight.
"Hehe…"
She giggled, but I stopped her by brushing my lips on her again. Tenderly… for what felt like hours but was likely only seconds, we shared our feelings with one another. Finally, we broke apart as the realization of what we had just expressed to one another came to light.
"… It's over now."
Yuu Yuu whispered before letting go. She stood up, rushed over, and grabbed her clothing, to my surprise.
"W-Wait, where are you going, Yuu Yuu?"
"M-My mentor is upset. I need to go home."
I stood up and attempted to stop her…
"A-At least let me come with you. Ah… do you want me to apologize to Janova for you?"
"N-No! Yuu Yuu is in trouble right now…. Yuu Yuu... will take her punishment..."
She put on her damp clothing over the white gown. It looked strange, but she was clearly in a rush as she made her way to the door. With her hair disheveled and eyes full of tears, she shakily opened the door.
"Wait… Yuu Yuu!"
I cried out… stopping her from leaving abruptly. She turned to me with tears in her eyes. I didn't understand what was happening…. Everything about her was a mystery, and it made my heart race and ache at the same time.
"I don't get… what's going on, but… c-can we hang out again?"
I… begged. Yuu Yuu looked behind her, outside in the storm, then turned back to me. After doing this a few times, she replied.
"I-I-I promise… I... I really want to see you again..."
My heart fluttered as she exited the door, leaving me alone in the warm room. All I wanted was a promise that this wasn't the last time I'd see someone… who I actually connected with. There was a smirk on my face that must have made me look like a fool...
Yuu Yuu was strange. She obviously had secrets that she didn't want to tell me yet… but one thing was sure out of everything that happened today…
We apparently…
Liked each other in that way…
…And even Maxwell's teachings weren't strong enough to keep me away from her…