The tournament had ended with a win for our side, it was a win fought hard, the end parts were an absolute pain since the ball just rolled around from side to side, so we had to run incessantly for the last few minutes, it was completely draining, I'm a fast runner but I didn't have the stamina to continue for much longer, the only reason I didn't collapse was probably since I walked 20 minutes every day for because Amy refuses to use the bus.
[Gotta thank her later!!! those walks probably saved me].
We celebrated hard, we decided to go and throw some people in the air, mainly the girl that scored 3 goals by herself, it was an impressive feat that could be recognized, she was a prodigy after all, kinda like Amy but in football, I also got flung into the air for a while, we had 2 people actually fall to the ground but they were fine and walked it off.
[If you can't walk that off then you don't even deserve to be here honestly].
The coach told us the typical encouragement words, the prodigy got a lot of compliments and then we headed off, I was a bit angry at the fact that only the prodigy got acknowledged, we all did a decent job out here, she just was good at kicking the ball but we did good work at passing the ball and stealing it from our rivals.
But I was getting mad at what comes next, I'm exiting the campus when I see a group of adults cheer and support some of the players, they were the player's parents, they were here watching the football match to support their kids, I stare at them, they are smiling brightly and even if their kids are sweaty, they gave them what they needed, towels, words of encouragement, hugs, etc... even the rivals that lost got the same treatment, I couldn't control my emotions so I faked my smile whenever someone talked to me.
I'm 'envious', I can't hide it from me, I'm what they call a sinner, hate emanates from me whenever I saw my surroundings, the familiar love that they have and displayed so happily as if that was extremely normal, but something was wrong with that thought process, it was normal, I just didn't want to accept it, I was the one in the wrong.
My family is 'lovely', I'm not an only child, I have a sister 5 years older than me, she is studying her university right now in data engineering, its some sort of complex field that deals with computer programs designed for companies fro data management, I understand that much, I admire her a lot since she can solve a lot of problems easily, she is extremely smart, she is supportive and she is lovely, but I also hated her.
I was always compared to her even when I was a little, "Why are you not like your sister", "Your sister could manage that much at that age", everything that she could do I needed to do, but I understood and started putting effort in those activities, but no matter how much I looked into it, I couldn't even come close to her, my effort felt wasted on topics I didn't care about, and they didn't even show progress, I was helpless, I couldn't handle it, I was not only shunned because of my sister, she humiliated me by being extremely nice to me.
[Why, why are you nice to me? I f*cking hate you with all my heart, you make my life all the more painful by existing before me, why don't you even tell dad or mom about me??? you just turn a blind eye to it like always, I just... can't trust you].
I was in utter despair, in mosts schools you could fail a subject but it didn't mean that you were held back a year, it meant that you could pay an extra 'exam' so that you could get the necessary credits to pass the subject, it costed some money, but I was a 'lost cause', I kept using those exams because I couldn't keep up with the workload, I ended up being called a ' money parasite' by my parents, I couldn't stop crying that day, Amy said to me that wasn't how a family is supposed to be, she comforts me whenever she could, she was a nice person, someone that deserved the world, but even then, she wouldn't accept 15 dollars from me, that didn't help me get better, I was a parasite but used the money only on me.
[Wasn't I proving my parent's point?].
Now I look at my surrounding, what I'm feeling is not normal, I called it 'envy', but it is worse, I don't long for the embrace of my family anymore or for them to show up in tournaments, I just despised them, but instead, I longed for everyone else to lose their family, it was wrong and I knew it, but I just kept feeling that way, I had a knot in my throat from how depressed I was, it hurt a lot, but it was better than even seeing my family. A thought crossed my mind, maybe neither of my parents were home today, I started wiping the sweat from my forehead.
[If I keep my hopes I will be disappointed, so I need to scratch that, they will be home on a Sunday].
"HI MARY!!!" I hear a familiar voice, I search my surroundings, many people called me that, even though my real name is Maria, but I didn't care since the one who gave the name was...
"Amy!!!" I see her appear from the crowd of people, her cute bob cut and emerald-colored eyes shined in the sun, she really could look beautiful if she tried harder, but right now, she looked perfect, her sudden appearance surprised me, but I was happy.
"Here take it, Congratulations to your team on winning!!" she hands me a bottle of water, just like those parents, it warms my heart, but Amy doesn't have a lot of money so I hesitate to take it, but she bought it for me so I finally take it, I take a sip and look at Amy.
[What is she doing here??? Amy doesn't like being in this type of place, she probably needs help with something, I mean I wouldn't mind accompanying her, it will kill some time and I get to not see my parents for a few minutes].
I pour the rest of the water over me, it is refreshing, it does wet my clothes a bit but it was worth it, I wait for an answer, Amy looks a bit frozen in place, but eventually speaks.
"I came to see you, Mary!!!" Amy says in an extremely sweet voice.
[WHAT???].
I look at Amy for a few seconds, I can't believe what she just said, I see her completely, she is smiling from ear to ear, Amy is not the type of person to do things 'illogically' so this is it unbelievable, I see her face once again.
[What a view, too bad her eyes closed because she smiled so much, but she came to see me? that's it?].
I continue staring at her, eventually, Amy's smile shrinks a bit, she seems is truly happy to see me, I'm completely moved by her motives, I haven't felt like this in a long time, The knot in my throat expands and hurts even more, I could breakdown and cry in this very instant, she was really sweet.
[NO I CAN'T, I can't let my emotions make Amy worried or sad].
I straighten my emotions and force myself to answer, but I couldn't, the thought of Amy being worried came to mind, she looked like an angel "Ah, I see..." are the only words that come out of my lips, which are trembling. I can't see Amy's face without being flustered anymore, my face is heating up, I wanted to hide it as most as possible without her noticing it, I was fiddling with my fingers to distract myself.
"Anyway do you want to go home or do you wanna go to the same restaurant?" Amy said breaking the silence.
"Huh?" I said instinctively.
[What restaurant?? Oh, I remember, but why, I know Amy like she home a lot and she even hates coming to school on weekends, so why is she inviting me, she must be forcing herself to do it].
I'm about to decline her offer, then see something behind Amy, a couple of students are holding hands, a normal sighting at the ends of the tournament, but it slammed my mind with a thought.
[Oh god, maybe she is forcing herself but for other reasons].
I can't reject her at all, even if a fraction of a percent, it was still plausible that she was being brave.
"Yeah, I would want to go to the restaurant, let's just go right now!!" I'm too nervous, the view of the couple is destroying my mind, I need to get out of here fast.
"Don't rush Mary, neither the restaurant nor I will run away" Amy said.
"ah.. sorry" I replied instantly, I released her arm and started to walk slowly while beside her.
[Shit, I forgot Amy doesn't do exercise apart from walking, I need to be careful].
We get to the restaurant, we order the usual refillable drinks but the earlier water bottle made me buy two burgers since we won the match I had a good excuse to buy something for Amy.
[Ahhh I'm sooooo~ happy].
Amy is eating her burger, she seems happy and relieved of something, she was lovelier than usual, I engine rating as well, I'm thinking of why I'm so happy right now.
[Wait... is this a date?].
The sudden thought made me extremely nervous, it took Amy's willingness to start a conversation to make me think normally again, we finished our food in an hour, Amy was starting to get up.
"Wait, could we stay for a bit longer?" I said in a panic.
[WHAT?, why did I say that? she obviously was getting up becau-].
"Sure" Amy replied, she sat back down on the seat and began sipping on her drink.
[...]
[...]
[Thank you].
The day ended, We parted ways and went home, I dropped myself on the bed and screamed on the pillow for a solid minute.
[I'm so happy I could die].