(A/N: Beware of the stuff we talked about).
It was only after the blade of the dagger tasted the flesh of a human that James felt the unnerving sensation and withdrew quickly.
He was in a dark grid box.
Again, his senses were suppressed, vision and hearing entirely useless altogether.
He had gone for the kill, anticipating that it was just the same as killing a chicken.
However, the reality was different. It was enough to tear him out of his reverie.
James took deep breaths.
That sensation. He could never forget it.
The vibration of the blade as it carved through the skin and flesh. The rough yet thick feeling of the blade that travelled through his hand, spelling out that it was not the weapon but him who was using it that was accountable.
It made him stop.
Not being able to see his enemy was both a blessing and a curse. It was a blessing because James didn't want to see the pain he had caused, being the empathetic person that he was. A curse because if the same thing happened to him, he couldn't ascertain what the assailant would do. Finish him off or hesitate.
'Is this really me?' he thought as the hand that held the dagger shook.
As he was in deep thought, his senses at their peak, he felt a breeze.
At first it passed by him as if it was nothing, then he discovered that it was the person's hand waving in the dark and it grazed him. In the next moment before he could come to his senses and defend himself from what he knew was going to happen, he felt a force of air push against his side.
BAM!
With the light sound of cracking bones, James felt the an extremely hard object slam against his ribs from the left side!
"ARRRRRGGHHHHH!" he screamed in pain.
The object that slammed into him did severe damage.
It was a sledgehammer.
Very few people know the feeling of being assaulted by something as hard as a hammer. The sensation of being struck by a small hammer on your finger is a common experience for most, but an enlarged hammer striking against your ribcage is a different ball game.
James felt the cracking of his bones and the tumbling of his insides; lungs and heart, as if they would rupture and drop to his intestines!
He spat out blood.
He fell to the ground and dropped his dagger. In the face of immense pain, as a regular civilian he couldn't maintain his composure and calmly think ahead.
He rolled on the ground, tears and blood rolling down from his eyes and mouth.
'It hurts! It hurts!' he thought as he cried.
He felt once more the air agitated around his abdomen!
It was another attack.
James couldn't react. His pain receptors were flaring, barely able to handle the current pain and clouding his judgement.
The hammer came down and grazed James's side before knocking against the ground .
James felt the pain from having his skin grazed by such an object moving at high speed as it was simply carried by gravity downwards.
The pain was nothing compared to the one pulsing from his ribs, making it seem as if his heart was beating from that spot. A throbbing pain that travelled to every part of his body.
However, the pain from his side managed to let him gain a sliver of consciousness.
'Why?! Why?!' James's mind was in a mess. He continuously asked the question in his mind until he realised that he had just done the same to whoever the hell this person was.
Attacking without restraint.
What right did he have to suddenly feel angry towards this person when he had tried to take their life as well?
Was it wrong for them to retaliate when he was on the offensive just a few seconds ago?
These questions burned inside James's head and he gnashed his teeth.
He rolled on the ground to the left, struggling to avoid another attack that might actually kill him.
A second after he left his position, the hammer came falling down again!
James shook. The pitch darkness was thick making his shaken heart even more frightened by the fact that he could have died just now!
The vibration from the hammer on the ground told of a story where his chest would have caved in had he stayed there clutching his chest!
James ran his hand on the ground looking for his dagger. It was the only means to protect himself.
Yet...
As he felt all over on the ground, he couldn't find it.
'This f*cking darkness!!" he cursed as sweat covered his brow from the pain and the fear.
His eyes were open wide, hoping to catch a glimpse of something. Anything.
He didn't want to die.
He thought of looking back where he had rolled from, but the vibration of the hammer falling down again the next second closer to him, dissuaded him from that.
As he struggled to find the dagger and crawl away, he felt a hand touch his back!
James hurriedly turned to lie on his back and try to stand but a knee pinned him from the chest to ground.
"SHIIIIIT!" he screamed and tried to pry this knee away from himself.
He knew what was coming!
He couldn't let is happen.
"No!" he yelled into the darkness that devoured his voice immediately.
"I can't die! I can't f*cking die!! Why me?! Why not you?!!" he quivered as he ran his hands along person's knee to his leg to his abdomen and pushed himself up, only to feel the person's raised hands.
He immediately clutched them with all his might while the person, who from the physique seemed to be a man, increased the force on his knee. His knee slid to the left of James's chest where his broken ribs were piercing his flesh!
As the man's knee pressed down with great pressure, James cried out with all his strength, thick veins popping from his neck as he trembled from the excruciatingly intense pain!
His eyes turned red in the pitch black darkness as he still clutched the man's hands with all his strength, refusing to let him drop his hammer and bash his face in.
The pain almost made James faint. The sensation of the broken pieces of bone poking the flesh between his ribs and even his lungs almost made him insane.
Before he could think of anything else, he pulled the man's arms to his face and....
Bit the hell out of his arm!
His teeth sank viciously into the man's flesh only stopping at his bone!
James felt the man tremble and begin to shake his hands vehemently, trying to remove his hand from James' teeth.
James felt the vibration of the man's hammer fall to the ground but remained biting his flesh. He brutally shook his head side to side tearing the skin and flesh apart.
It was instinct.
At base, humans could exhibit the same savagery as animals when pushed to the brink.
Civility?
Formality?
James felt a fist land on his head. Then another one landed on his face. Then another and another.
He only felt the sound of collision in his body. When the fist knocked against his skull!
DUM! DUM! DUM!
But he did not let go easily.
The man rained a barrage of punches on James' head till he felt an intense heat on his face. It both stung and scorched.
When he couldn't take it anymore he pulled with his teeth, feeling the disconnection of flesh and blood vessels from the main body. A piece stuck in his mouth that he had ripped off.
James didn't even bother about the iron flavoured taste in his mouth and the bits of flesh that remained.
He only felt with his hand on the ground, his senses registering a cylindrical object that was attached to a similarly hard and cold cylinder and grabbed it.
He hurriedly stood, feeling the man release the pressure from his knee.
James held the hammer with both hands and raised it.
He felt throbs of pain from his side but he ignored and with a mad expression swung down with all his might!
Through the hammers head, he felt a bone shatter, the flesh feeling more like a thick paste that he flattened with the hammer!
He had struck a leg!
He moved forward and swung again with an even more maddened visage, this time feeling something hard and hollow cave in when it was hit by the hammer!
James shuddered when he felt that sensation. He knew what it was, but he couldn't stop. The pain and the frustration. The rules of the game!
They were all telling him...
KILL!
With a scream of frustration, he swung down again!
Liquids and chunks of flesh knocked against his face and body with each the strike!
Again! Again! Again!
"AAARGGHHH! WHYY?!!!" he yelled as he dropped the hammer.
A horrible smell assaulted his nostrils. It was horrendously putrid with a dankness that made James kneel down and bluuuurrrrrrghhhhhhhhhh!
He vomited. He couldn't hear anything but he was sure he wouldn't want to see it. Any of it.
After many seconds of throwing up.
The ticking of the time rang again in James's mind.
He shook but remained idle for a while.
'I did it,' he thought.
In the silence of his mind. In the silence of the grid box.
He knew he had done it.
Slowly, he stood up.
He dragged the hammer with him and bit his lip.
He began sobbing.
James did the only thing he knew he could do as a Pawn. As a civilian. As both a victim and a murderer.
Move forward.