My thoughts were rushing as I was driving unsafely around the streets; I never particularly cared for who was Hermione's child's father, but learning the truth unsettled my mind. There was no way that Hermione and Ed got together, let alone have sex. But I guessed that some part of me was jealous; quite strange since I was envious of myself. For now, I was heading to the pub in some sort of compulsion driven by the urge of escaping reality as I used to do; moreover, the aches in my lever stopped at my death, drinking wouldn't be a problem anymore. In some corner of my brain, I also had to speak with someone; saying that I didn't have a conversation with someone for three months wasn't an exaggeration because of my hospitalization.
But with whom? With none other than my only friend Terence; though, I suspected that he wouldn't be there yet given the end of his shift at his job. It was around 10 AM, so waiting until 5 PM would take about seven hours; seven precious hours that I was wasting during my temporary return amid the livings. Concretely, I mentally calculated that it was approximately a thirtieth of my staying in the mortal world; and comparing it to the human lifespan of eighty years, it was more than two of it. Clearly, spending "two years" of my life would be a terrible waste. I quickly pondered on what I could do meanwhile, but getting drunk was perhaps the best course of action for my case. I continued my way to the pub more slowly.
The pub wasn't far from my old home, and it ultimately was as decent as the area. Strange enough, the place didn't have a name, hence why I called it the pub. It was a little rundown, like any respectable establishment of its kind, and it was that which gave to the spot its unique charm. As always, as I entered in, the door made a horrible creaking sound which every customer grew accustomed to after a few minutes in there. I peered at my surroundings to encounter an old man with a slightly dirty shirt, already finishing his second glass; it was Terence. I got closer to have a discussion with him and finally take a drink.
"Skipping work, old man?" I asked him.
First focused on his beverage, his head jerked at the sentence which was addressed to him. His face seemed more idiotic than ever, maybe because of the alcohol; well, I could understand his sudden jolt since a young guy suddenly asked him whether he was missing work or not. Quite suspicious, he might have thought.
"And you're?" he replied as furrowing.
Right, I haven't prepared for what I was about to say next; I still was processing the fact that I was Ed and not Eddie, so an answer to that question might be a complicated issue. Though, I decided to not lie.
"It's Eddie," I said after gulping.
From stupid, the old man's face changed into a confused expression. He probably knew a unique Eddie, so that reply must've chilled his spine a little bit.
"Huh? Is this some kinda prank? Get the fuck outta here before I kick your ass for disrespecting my friend!" he shouted.
"No, really, believe me, please! It's me Terence, Edward Graham, the kid who drinks with you and tells you stories about his high-school crush!"
"…No, he's dead! I've seen his corpse with my eyes!" he abruptly stood up and clenched my suit's collar as a threat. "So, stop saying shit about the dead and get the fuck outta here."
"Terence, believe me, please. We've been friends for the five last years, we always drink together, you always complain about your wife Maria, the first time we met I spilled my beer on you, I could even tell you what happened at my funerals, I was there."
I could feel the old man's grip getting looser and looser, before letting me go and sitting on his chair. He didn't seem convinced but he at least calmed down for discussion.
"You know loads of personal thing, but my friend Eddie died days ago," he persistently added.
"The name you would've given to your baby," that sprung back in my mind. "Maria was pregnant but she sadly lost the child."
I really didn't want to use this for persuading him of my true identity, but desperate time calls for desperate measures. He clearly was uneasy at the mention of that tragedy, given his grave face which I seldom saw but only when concerning this subject. Truth to be told, I thought that what made him miserable [and thus despicable] was that loss; since then, he had refuged himself in alcohol and carnal pleasures behind his wife's back (though she clearly knew about these). This was his excuse, which no one could evidently accept.
"How do you know about that?!" he furiously shouted.
I mimicked the sounds of the baby's name with my lips, no sound escaping; Terence became pale as snow, and maybe as cold.
"Please, I know it's a sensitive matter so let's just talk and get a drink. You believe me now?"
"…Yeah, kinda but not entirely."
"I'm fine with that," I said as sitting before him.
I quickly ordered a pint of beer for the old man and myself. The glasses came, and I frantically drank half of its content before sighing.
"Seems like you starved, kid," he commented as drinking his.
"Dead men tell no tales, though I have one. You're gonna find it funny."
"I'm just confused now, it really is you? Now that I think of it, aren't you that classmate of Eddie?"
"Yeah, but listen to me first. I saw you with Hermione at my funerals, you know, your conversation on how much I loved her and the money I left her for the kid."
"Shit, you were some kinda ghost, something like that? Wait, there's an afterlife? Damn, I'm going straight to hell, no?"
"I don't know about that but I met what we can call a goddess; Death."
"No shit."
"Why would I say shit know? Just bear with my story. So, realizing how bad I was toward Hermione made me regret it all. And when "Death" came," I used air quotes, "I beg her to let me come back."
"And it worked? Wait, of course it has if you're before me."
"Right genius. But I only have ten days, at least for now, if I can fix all the shits I've done."
"Like what though? Oh, it's about Hermione," he added as if he has received enlightenment.
"Most likely, but I don't really know. So what do I do?"
"Hmm, I told you my best guess, it must be her, no? But what did you do anyway?"
"…I seriously hurt her. She used to paint back in the days, and she primarily did that for me as some sort of consolation, you know. But, I…I couldn't accept her help, her kindness, and I already was mean at that time. So, one day, I broke one of her newly-made paintings and threw it away. And you know the worse, I did that before her eyes and I insulted her before telling her that I never wanted to see her face again."
"Damn, you were a terrible asshole. If you really were there, you should have seen how much she still loved after all these years and how sad she was."
"Well yeah, that's why I begged to come back so that I could fix that. But there's a huge problem, two actually: I can't tell her that it's Eddie in here and this guy is Hermione's kid's father."
"Repeat that again? You're telling me that the man standing before me made pregnant your crush? That's fucked up, kid!"
"I know! Trying to meet Hermione in person is already a problem since all she did was slam the door at me."
"But you did abandon your child; every mother would do the same, or even worse."
"It's not me," I stopped my sentence. "At least it wasn't me! Now how do I get closer to her?"
"I think the wisest thing to do is to learn more about what happened between the two of you. You can exploit that to show your best side to her."
"Right? But to whom do I ask? Even if she's willing to open the door, I can't just go like "Oh, by the way, why did we sleep together?" "
"You were in the same town before moving here, no?"
"Almost everyone in our school went here since it's the nearest city, and I transferred school here after I last talked with her."
"That's good news, her parents must know something."
"But they must hate my guts as well."
"Eddie's or of the one before me"? I bit my lip at his sharp remark.
"Probably both, so what's the plan?"
Terence stopped a little bit to think and chugged his beer with a pensive and yet idiotic expression. Then, his face brightened.
"Hermione's kid," he said.
"Edalynn? What with her?"
"Hermione's parents are Edalynn's grandparents as well. And you being her father, there's a link; so you can just say that you're taking the kid to her grandparents."
"…Yeah, that might work and fortunately all the kids have holidays currently. Thanks."
"No need to thank me, just fix your shit kid. You should be the one who buries me in the ground, not the contrary; don't waste this chance."
"I know, I know. By the way, thanks for my funerals."
"Hope you do the same for mine."
"You can count on me."
"Anyway, you need Hermione's number for starters?"
"Oh, I remember her number."
"Seriously?"
"Well yeah, she's the only girl in my life anyway. You really think that I'm the kinda guy who gets girls' numbers? "
"Right. Though you might now," joked the old man. "So, what're you gonna do for now?"
"I think the best thing to do is to leave Hermione alone for today; seeing me once must be her limit."
"Well thought, that will improve your chance of success. Wanna hit the casino then?"
"Knock it off, old man; Maria already has enough worries with such a douchebag as you."
"I was kidding, alright? Though, you better stay away from booze; you want to show the best example to your daughter and to her mother. Oh shit, I just remembered that we're burying "you" today, wanna see? That's why I'm not working anyway, to answer your first question."
"That will be a strange experience, but I've nothing else to do. I'll be driving, just show the way."
On that, we both finished our drinks in one gulped and went to my car to join the place which was supposed to be my last dwelling. During the trip, the old man observed the streets like a dog while I was trying to find a decent song from the radio. Believe it or not, half of our relationship was based on silence which was hardly awkward at all.
"By the way, you paid for everything?"
"Um," he agreed.
"Whatever was the cost, I can give you back the money," I added, still focused on the traffic.
"No worries for that, Maria was comprehensive."
"Just tell me when you need the money back."
"Um," he agreed.
Our trip continued in quietness before reaching a cemetery at the outskirt of the town; it took us an hour or so to go there. I was quite surprised by how well-kept the place was given all the TV interpretation of the latter; it was oddly filled with trees, flowers, plants, herbs, birds, and other small animals. It was a living oxymoron which I supposed was to solace the livings. We continued our way to my grave and there stood a heavy coffin hanged above a large hole. Only the undertaker was next to it, nobody else. Though, Terence already told me that Hermione couldn't come since she had to take care of Eda too and her shift began around mid-day to early evening. I was glad that she intended to come but sad as well.
The old man was swaying his glances between the coffin and me, visibly disturbed by the unnatural scene before him; a man seeing his funerals, quite odd.
"You wanna say something?" he joked.
It was obviously one of his teasings, but why not play along; it was the last time that I was seeing myself after all.
"May I rest in peace and fix my errors," I solemnly said.
"Heh, right. May you rest in peace and fix your errors."
The mortuary box descended into earth's depth as we nonchalantly watched it sink. Then, dirt was thrown on it to eternally forbid any sight fall upon it again. Terence sighed a bit before laughing at seeing my new face; that indeed was a metaphysical joke, a joke that the livings could get. For the rest of the day, we visited the graveyard and pondered on the deceased's past as a way to spend time. It all happened in an instant, and by the moment I noticed the futility of our contemplation, it was already 6 PM or so judging by the sky's redness. We went back to the city and I took the old man home.
I never once visited his house, but it actually wasn't far from where I lived since the pub was in the same borough, which explained why our road accidentally crossed many times. Now that I think of it, I might've already met Maria, Terence's wife, but I wouldn't remember anyway due to my hate for the crowd. Not quite hate, but disdain: I always kept my eyes away from someone when I was walking down the streets.
Once at his door, the said woman opened; a slender and tall middle-aged woman, taller than her short and fat husband and with a tanned complexion. Her hairs were dead straight and also incredibly black. As for her eyes, nothing was really notable. Her face was obviously old and marked by life's tragedies, but she was still showing a warm and polite smile that didn't appear fake. Though her lips discernibly tightened as seeing her husband, and it regained its composure by the time she noticed that the old man wasn't drunk.
Terence bid his farewells and quickly went inside as her wife got nearer to my car.
"Thank you for bringing my husband home, she politely said."
"There's no need to thank me. We were just at our friends' funeral," I half-lied.
"Eddie, right? My condolences. My husband always talked about that boy, and he really appreciated him."
"And so did I," I lied again. "By the way, Terence paid for all the ceremony and I'd like to give that money back, of course, nothing fishy, I just wanna help a friend."
"That is very kind, but he really wanted to do that, paying back would waste his efforts," added Maria as smiling harder.
"No really, I insist," I pushed further. "He's already giving you so much worry; I at least want to help."
"He's a troublesome one, but we cannot accept, especially him. What was your name again?"
"Edwin, huh…" I stuttered.
"Nice to meet you, I'm Maria. You should already head home, it's getting late."
"Yeah, right. See you soon, I guess," I awkwardly replied.
The wife waved at me and I restarted the car's engine before rushing to my luxurious apartment and going to sleep.
While driving, my remaining time came back to my mind, so I ultimately called her.
"Hey, so… I just wanted to have some time with Eda," I spoke in the microphone.