After the long day at school, I took a very long shower and I sang all through.
After doing all the dishes and organizing my room, I invited Arthur over for a chat since we hadn't discussed much in school.
In few minutes, Arthur arrived with a white girl who was of average height and had a long, wavy, dark hair. She possessed cat eyes and that already spelt out loud, her Asian background.
"Hello," she waved.
"Hi," I replied in surprise.
"Steph, this is Jasmine-my friend from science camp," Arthur introduced.
"Oh, I didn't know you had a friend from camp... coming over"
"She took a few months break to Britain where she's actually based in and now she's back! She's also gonna attend school with us."
"Hmm, nice. I'm Stephanie and you are welcome to my home. Feel comfy," I smiled gently.
"Thank you. I have heard a lot about you. Arthur won't stop talking about you"
"Yeah yeah," said Arthur. "You are looking at America's next top celebrity"
"That reminds me, we need to talk about something really mind-blowing."
They both took their seats and I served drinks and cookies. I started off by telling Arthur about my little trip to the principal's office and ended at Nicole's perplexing behaviour. I left no single detail out.
"Oh Stephanie... Steph, Steph, Steph, naive and innocent Stephanie..." Arthur said in somewhat a rhythm, moving his head sides and I rejoindered, "oh would you get to the point!"
Jasmine meticulously glared at us.
"Stephanie, I hate to say this but... just kidding, I love to say this," he chuckled a bit, "you are being bamboozled."
"What?!"
"Oh yes. Can't you see? Nicole is up to no good." He stressed the 'no' part.
"Why do you think so?" I folded my arms and pursed my lips.
"I've been here all my life and I know that girl. Based on what you explained, I figured Nicole is only playing a fun game of help-me-protect-my-secret. She is only faking the act to make you keep her secret safe cause she's aware that that could be a great disappointment to her Daddy and she also knows that could be a doorway to boarding school in Britain and a ruined career. Think about it," Arthur said, pretty much certain of it all.
"No! She meant everything she said," I said, pretty much certain of it all.
"Do you even here yourself?" Arthur said again and silence ruled for a moment. "Trust me girl, Nicole is a bad influence, she always has been and she wouldn't just change in a blink of an eye because of hurtful words from her father-which is not a new thing. If you know who you're dealing with, you wouldn't even imagine associating with her—oh best of friends, she said, pfft! Have you really forgotten all she did to you—how she mistreated you? She really is a terrible influence. If she really has changed then she needs to prove it to everyone before you can think of associating with her," Arthur quietly philosophized but I stood on what I believed of her—a changed person now.
"You know, I didn't expect you to act this way about this... you're meant to be on my side. You should have seen the tears in her eyes."
"She's literally an actor!"
"Jeez Arthur, you should understand me."
"Honestly, I don't. Nicole is sly, perfidious, and deceptive!" Arthur stood to expound in a very explicit way and Jasmine interrupted, having been astounded all through, "I'm not fully aware of what the butt is going on but I think you really should be sharp-eyed. Stephanie, Arthur might be right in a way. If a bad person comes to you and claims to have changed or wants to change then you should observe that person and let them prove it to you before believing or associating."
Arthur nodded in concurrence, "thank you!" And I let out a sigh of stress. I began to contemplate on my belief and Arthur's.
"Um, Jasmine? Don't you remember Nicole? As in famous Nicole Martin?"
"Golly! I totally forgot! It didn't even occur to me that such person exists here in OVC. I knew that personality seemed familiar."
"Yup. Daughter of Marz O'Neil."
"Steph, you're so lucky! You should totally hang out with her," Jasmine smiled and Arthur replied, "dude! I'm trying to put out a fire and you're adding more gasoline."
"Just kidding."
They both had no idea of what being friends with Nicole meant. It meant I would be free from her oppression and fulfilling my ambition and passion would be highly possible. I also thought God was with me but why did Arthur have to be so pessimistic about everything?
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I fixed my earpiece in my ears and got drowned in music—the right one for my despondent mood.
Ever since I arrived in Olive Valley, it had been from one catastrophe to another; I never fully experienced happiness.
I had gotten the idea from people that the white man's land was filled with pure happiness due to so much civilization.
I did have problems in Nigeria; I had to deal with peer pressure, I battled with depression, and a low self-esteem.
I was that girl who rather than chase around the male gender, I chased after dreams. I was that girl who owned a bucket list filled with the impossible. I was that one girl who would spend the whole of my day studying the scriptures, building up my vocabulary, learning foreign accents and languages, learning skills, and just in every way prepare for the future and train towards my dreams and purpose. 𝙒𝙝𝙤 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜 𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙨𝙪𝙘𝙝 𝙝𝙪𝙢𝙖𝙣?
People came into my life and walked out in just a while. I lost a lot of friends and had just few which I had been aware of the gossips they still made behind my back.
People as well told me that I was trying too hard to assimilate into the white culture because I was too distinct from an average Nigerian teen. I loved what my people detested and I detested what they loved.
I had been bullied once for my surname and personality. The boys in my class had told me that God had dropped me in Africa by accident and I would weep like a baby.
I did love the white culture—it was like adoring the rest of God's creation outside your race, but I also enjoyed being black.
My dad would say, "your great grandfather was a white man afterall."
I as well planned on getting married to a white man and my friends insulted me for it. While they were thinking, "are there no guys here in Africa? Does your life have to revolve around the white world? Are they better than your own people?"
I was thinking, "aren't we meant to be one? Is it a rule that one must marry a person from their own tribe or country? I'll get married to whom ever I want to, I don't give a damn about your race, just as long as you've got the right qualities. I only chose a white man because I love mixed race kids."
Since my friends thought that much about me and the white culture, I thought life there would be easy and that I would fit right in. I as well thought that by travelling overseas, I could leave behind the problems in Nigeria but it turned out that problems aren't always a geographical thing.
The thoughts that kept coming in were the thoughts of my past back in Nigeria.
There came a day when a new student arrived in my class.
Typically, all the boys were all over her and every usual thing she did was fascinating to them.
"She's left handed!"
"She writes so neatly!"
"She can draw, beautiful and talented!"
"She wears lipgloss!"
"She wears a skirt!"
𝙊𝙠𝙖𝙮 𝙄 𝙢𝙖𝙮 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙚𝙭𝙖𝙜𝙜𝙚𝙧𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙖 𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚 𝙗𝙞𝙩.
It got to a point where they began making comparison between I and the girl given that we were almost alike. She had special abilities like me and was very eloquent, she was also a claimed Christian. I used to be the smartest girl in class but then this girl hopped on aboard and stole my spot.
She beat me in so many subjects and activities that I started to lose my good grades. I put no effort into anything because I already accommodated the idea that she was better than me.
Teachers as well, seeing her good results, began to compare me with her and it made me so bitter.
"Simi is a Christian and still has fun. She goes to parties, she dates boys, and has casual sex but she's still honours God! Unlike some self-righteous people," I heard the boys say in a conversation.
I dissembled their conversation; they were dumb as a box of rocks to have my attention.
Things got so bad that they began to pair themselves with girls and when they paired I and a guy, he said, "Stephanie Bakewell? I'd rather be single than date that holier-than-thou even if she was the only girl in the universe."
The boys burst into laughter.
My self-esteem was buried six feet under ground. I never wanted to talk to anyone ever again. School for me was like a prison yard, my peculiarity was obnoxious to everyone. I constantly buried my head in books and spoke only to God. I believed that one day, He would give me a chance to be a voice and inspire others like me.
I interacted with my friends only over small conversations and mostly, they did all the talking because each time I opened my mouth to speak, the words that flew out were of God and of my passion to be a voice.
I focused on building myself and I read my Bible each day. I tuned out my parents conflict and strived to study in the noisy apartment.
They didn't care about how critical life was getting for me; they were so caught up in sorting out their issues.
I got back on my feet and decided to be friends with Simi and not despise her for her potentials or what the others said. I realized that that was the only way I could be free from the grip of envy and be happy.
I had been studying Christian Religious Studies for weeks and in class, a question came in about The Trinity. That was one of my favorite topics and I knew everything about it, moreover I was a mighty Christian.
The teacher kept demanding for the answer to "who was God speaking to when He kept mentioning 'let us' during the creation of the world?"
Everyone was mute, even Simi. He pointed to several students but they could give no valid response.
I was really Keen to answer the question, it was something I had been studying, something no one else knew the answer to, and it was finally the right time for me to prove myself and shut the scorners up.
The teacher walked up to where I was sitted and pointed towards that area. "what is the answer?" He asked and without hesitation, I jumped on my feet.
"God was talking to..." I said and he interrupted, "I was referring to Esther and not you."
Everyone laughed and gloated. I took my seat in shame and fell on my face.
Esther as well couldn't attempt the question and so the teacher turned back to me, "let's here you out now Stephanie."
I sadly rose up and said, "God was conversing with The Trinity during the creation."
"Wrong! He was conversing with the angels. Read your Bible"
The rest laughed all over again and mocked my eagerness and failure. I knew he was wrong and I wanted to challenge him to prove to the others that I knew what I was talking about.
I fiercely said to his face, "no! Excuse me sir but you're wrong..."
He didn't let me finish, "and who are you to tell me I'm wrong? How many degrees have you got? You're just in secondary school.
You were too eager to speak and still ended up saying nonsense. All you want is to prove to people is that you know it all. You never want to listen to others and people like you are usually buried in pride, people like you never take corrections and never want to learn, you always feel like you know it all.
You all will be hearing from the principal soon."
Tears dripped from my eyes and from that day onward, my classmates referred to me as "miss know-it-all"
I was thoroughly devastated and down in the dumps.
"Baby steps sister. You want to be an inspiration to the world, at least answer a simple Bible question first."
"You who worships God as if there's no tomorrow cannot even give the correct answer to a biblical question and you claim to be different from the rest of us."
"God will be very disappointed cause you clearly don't serve Him enough."
Later on, the teacher called me into the staff room on a particular morning.
"I'm so sorry about all I said to you that day"
"Um, was I right?"
"I shouldn't have spoken to you that way in the presence of your classmates."
"Was I right? Was the answer correct?"
"Erm, yes... I just looked it up and you were right."
"Then come to the class and tell everyone that I was right."
"You're not serious. So apologizing to you isn't enough ehn?"
"You rudely spoke to me in the presence of my classmates over something I was right about! Do you know how much harm that caused me?"
His pride didn't agree with him. He couldn't admit to the students that he was wrong.
When I got the truth, I returned to class and by chance, a boy termed me as "madame know-it-all."
"Now everyone of you, listen to me! The next time anyone here speaks ill of me or calls me names, I'll bring my Father to this school.
I was right, that day, I was right! I answered the question correctly and you all would know that if you actually studied, and he would have known that if he wasn't just employed here to teach us what he has zero knowledge about.
I'm sick and tired of you guys insulting me! Am I the only girl in this class? Or I'm just too special that you guys don't stop talking about me."
"So what if I have a dream to inspire the world? So what if I do the things you all don't do?
So what if I don't fit in?
Your priorities are not mine. I've got set goals and I'm working towards achieving them. Laugh at me for taking my life serious at a young age but I hope when you realize how wrong your thoughts are about me, it won't be too late. And stop comparing me with people! Why don't you compare me with yourselves! You guys don't feel you have any worth and that's why you spend time comparing me with those you think have worth. This should be the last time any of you do anything to hurt my feelings."
The whole class was silent as the tomb; my words really touched them.
Before the day was over, they all started to come around me one by one and try to make conversations.
"Stephanie have you eaten?"
"Hey Steph, how many pen are you with?"
"Are you done with your classwork?"
"Stephanie, are you hot? Should I turn on the air conditioner?"
"Are you hungry? I brought extra lunch."
I was given so much respect and not one soul went against my rules ever again. 𝙃𝙢𝙢, 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙪𝙥 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛 𝙙𝙤𝙚𝙨 𝙥𝙖𝙮 𝙤𝙛𝙛. Afterwards, life for me became simple and I continued to follow my dream. The only obstacle I had to deal with once again, was that of my parents.
My Mom especially didn't want me to become an actress. She didn't even like me to mention such ambition to her face, she wanted me to study law like the rest of her friends' children.
My Dad on the other hand, his choice for my career didn't coincide with hers and that was one of the things that encouraged a lot of misunderstanding.
They basically disagreed on everything and always held different opinions.
My Mom claimed that my Dad was out to ruin my life and that was why she never yielded to his thoughts of taking me abroad with him.
In Nigeria, choosing the career of one's children was a lot common. Parents felt like they knew best and that their kids would only be successful when their ambition was chosen by the parents and when such ambition would be such that is professional like doctors.
They held on to the nonsensical mindset that one could only be successful through six main professional careers: a doctor, a lawyer, a banker, an accountant, a scientist, and an engineer.
And so they made the lives of their kids miserable by preventing them from pursuing what they had the zeal for and what they had the potentials for.
I was a victim.
"An actress? That cannot happen in my house. You hear me?"
"Mummy but why?"
"Because I pay your school fees and I get to decide what I want you to do with your education. If you're going to acting school then raise the money yourself." That statement was one of the reasons why I did start up a sales business to raise money for acting school.
"That's not fair!"
"Would you shut up? You think I'm going to allow you to waste your time on a stupid career abi? I am a banker, your father is a banker and I want our child to study law. I want to look at you and be proud that I sent you to school. I want to see a professional in her field, not you going around TV and exposing your body."
"What is with you parents and such thinking? As an actress, I get to teach people life lessons through the power of art. I get to portray life through a movie. Why do you think those who go into the music or movie industry are bound to stray? Well it happens a lot but I will be different. I'm going to use my fame, my talents, and those mere scenes to change the lives of people for good!"
My Mom and Aunt Dabira cracked a heavy laughter.
"Look at the way she's arguing with really good points, really fit to be a lawyer," said Aunt Dabira.
"Oh Lord," I slapped my face.
"Are you blowing such grammar for me? You send kids to school and once they gain little knowledge, they begin to rub it off on your face and act all civilized and wise like you weren't in this life before them."
"I'm going to be an actress and not a lawyer, that's all I know."
"Don't get me annoyed cause if I get up and meet you where you're sitted, you'll find yourself in the hospital in few minutes." She said and I bowed my head in respect. One clear difference between a white kid and a kid raised in Africa—submissiveness—Often, it brought forth a disciplined, obedient and wonderful product, but it also was very absurd and extreme for parents to treat their kids that way.
That was one of the things I wanted to enlighten the world about reason being I didn't enjoy being controlled that much by my guardians.
As a matter of fact, the things going on around me provoked the desire to want to be a voice and educate the public; things like a broken home and the selfishness of parents, trying hard to handle career-choosing parents as a kid, dealing with bullying, dealing with being different and a lot more.
I was so caught up with thinking that I forgot to attend to my homework and I lost my appetite to eat.
Life...