"Ooh, you're smoking! I'm telling Kurenai-sensei!" Naruto threatened Shikamaru and for a brief moment, there was a look of deep and sincere fear in his eyes before it shifted to one of annoyance. Neither he nor Shino were shocked when Naruto appeared in their tent having gotten used to him abusing his teleportation jutsu and the others present in the makeshift command center were wise enough to react on instinct.
"Look here you troublesome," Shika said poking Naruto's chest, "vexing, all-around pain in the ass," he said as he continued to poke, "if I need this to calm my nerves because my teammate was sent to a hostile village with no back up then I will damn well have a smoke."
"I was concerned as well but I simply carried it because I'm a cool guy," Shino added.
"You're the very definition of class, Aburame," Naruto nodded in agreement. "And it's fine, I'm fine. There was no need to worry, Shika."
"So, you were able to discuss terms with Darui?" the Nara asked. Naruto shook his head.
"We didn't even make it to his office before they tried to kill me. Sad thing was, he hadn't ordered it but if they were willing to knife me in front of their Raikage absent his orders he didn't have enough control over his people for option A to work."
"How did option B go?" Shino questioned.
"If they were given the chance I'd be amazed if Kumo could recover inside a decade. Massive structural damage and numerous fatalities… it looked like the epicenter of a cataclysm," Naruto explained. When the pollen from his Mokuton jutsu was finally ignited the explosions rivaled one of his Rasenshurikens. "After that, I dropped Kirabi and company in Iron Country, did a quick change of clothes, and came here. How did you guys fair?"
"We're about two miles outside of Iwa, the joint effort with Suna, Oto, and Iron Country paid off. We couldn't catch the village proper off guard but their preparations have been hasty. Maybe if you'd been here and flex those metal arms," Shika said, calling attention to Naruto's Koton armor under his t-shirt and red flak vest, "they'd have surrendered."
"Or fallen madly in love," Shino inserted.
"Aburame with the dagger," Shika finished as Naruto rolled his eyes.
"I ever tell you two I hate you both?"
"All the time," Shika answered.
"I'm starting to doubt you're going to name your son after me," Shino provided.
"That was never on the table, Shino," Naruto stated dryly.
"It should be."
Naruto broke at Shino's equally deadpan response. First, it was a chuckle but soon bloomed into riotous laughter, hard enough to make his eyes water. He needed this. However necessary his actions were, whatever they did to bring it upon themselves it wasn't an easy task for him to be the cause of so much death and destruction but he'd never do less so his friends, brothers in every way that counts, would have to do more.
"I am glad someone is in good spirits given our current location," Gaara said as he entered the tent with Jiraiya and Guren.
"Kazekage-sama," Naruto greeted, pairing it with a head nod.
"Aburame-san, Nara-san, if you could excuse us," Gaara said and the two departed, Shikamaru giving Naruto's shoulder a quick squeeze as he did. "Kumo?" he asked.
"Several thousand Cloud Ninja against one utterly gutsy shinobi; they never stood a chance."
"Hoo hoo, is that right?" Jiraiya asked. Naruto nodded before becoming serious.
"Their infrastructure is next to non-existent and they've lost mostly Jounin and experienced Chunin. Even if half their forces were out of the village for missions, they have limited housing, food and water. They couldn't survive a siege nor another direct assault."
"Then I'll confer with Tsunade-sama but we'll likely starve them out moving forward. Once they relent, Kumo's days as a hidden village are over," Gaara informed him. "But that is a separate conversation. Are you ready to head toward the village?"
"Are we all set?" Naruto asked.
"Oto's deep cover agents have all reported back so we're ready for whatever Onoki chooses," Guren said, acting more like an extension of his wife's will than a village leader. He didn't pity what was in store for the Rock ninja, not after Onoki planned to send Han and Roshi to kill his pregnant wife. When Hiruzen confessed to being contacted about sneaking the two Jinchuuriki into the village when he revealed he'd done so because he believed she was back to her old tricks Naruto wanted to kill the old fool and introduce Iwa to his [Jinton: Rasenshuriken].
Instead, he got to watch the horror on the man's face when Tsunade informed him she knew what Orochi had been working on and cleared it every step of the way. The poison his former teammates slipped him was a kindness he hadn't deserved. But there could be no hints of internal dissension, not when they were preparing for war. After she dealt with the old man, Tsunade was possessed by a quiet fury and no longer lamented the oncoming hostilities.
Getting Iron Country to ally with Konoha and Suna by promising them new recruits and territory was a masterstroke. Leaning on Naruto's reputation hadn't hurt matters either. The map, the state of the shinobi world was going to dramatically alter after today.
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"You're mad if you think I'll accept this," Onoki spat, his ire attempting to seduce him into a hasty act of ordering the four people in front of him murdered. Even with enemies at their gates, they were Iwa, the rock, and wouldn't be dictated to. He glared at the individuals sitting across from him as his advisors poured over the document.
To prevent an attack Onoki would have to agree to this idiocy of a new federation between the hidden villages and samurai. Iwa wouldn't be a full member for ten years, a penalty for actively plotting to trash an existing treaty. A decade in thrall to Konoha and Suna, managing the number of ninja; selecting students to be trained outside the village. They would have final say over all major decisions regarding Iwa. He or Kuro-chan would be a Kage in name only.
"This way keeps you a working Hidden Village, Onoki-dono. Kumo chose war and was brought to their knees a mere few hours ago," Gaara explained.
"No, there's no way you managed this in two locations," Onoki denied.
"You're right, Naruto did it himself. He'd have a fellow jinchuuriki, a Sannin, and an army at his back this time."
"And a fuck ton of motivation," Naruto added under his breath but all heard.
"You expect us to believe that? One person, not even a Jinchuuriki could take down an entire Hidden Village," Kurotsuchi argued. Jiraiya silently thought two of his previous students could; Nagato had the raw power and Minato the technical proficiency even though he'd need to plan it well. He could still do it. So why this girl wanted to see what a mix of both could do was beyond him.
"Believe this," Gaara cut her off, "there is a standing army at your gates. Even if you manage to survive thousands of lives will be lost and we have more ninja and samurai to throw at you."
It was a fair point but Onoki had no desire to bend the knee to another. It would be difficult but they'd need to start building strength in secret. If Kumo had fallen, maybe entice some of their ninja and train a force in secret while he planted seeds of internal division. Maybe even rally a number of smaller hidden villages. It wouldn't take much to make them afraid of Konoha's power grab. He could make them believe the alleged peace-seekers really wanted to remove existing governing structures so all were a part of Konoha.
"We'll join," Onoki said, shocking his granddaughter. She still wasn't ready to lead, her reaction revealed as much to him. He'd let his advisors deal with the logistics of it all. He needed to get a sense of the big picture.
"I'm glad, Onoki-dono; sincerely," Gaara stated. "However, given your penchant for doublecrossing, we've taken measures to ensure your cooperation. Guren, if you would," Gaara requested, and a quick ram sign later, the village and even the very room were filled with a purple mist.
"What?" Onoki yelled. He wanted to say more but an extended coughing fit prevented it. It took mere moments for the mist to clear the room, it wouldn't take long for it to leave the village but the job had been done. Naruto smiled, leave it to his wife to fully weaponize the same poisonous flower that nearly did him in on Ishval. That she managed to make it react to chakra capacity meant most civilians and academy students would be left unharmed.
"The condition you've been inflicted with has a ten-year treatment plan. You try to betray us, we cut off treatment. You try to replicate the treatment and we invade. Either this is the last war between the Hidden Villages or you provoke it and Iwa is lost to history." Onoki glared at them. He hated being outmaneuvered but he crossed the Snake Sannin and however devious he thought he was she'd risen it to the level of art.
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While most of the invading force stayed just outside of Iwa, Naruto got to return home. He needed it, the weight of the day was starting to get to him as he fully processed the memories of the clones and saw the silent horror in the faces of the slain. In each pair, there was a point when the ninja wanted to quit or flee but couldn't bring themselves to do it so they died in waves. To those that survived, Naruto would always be a monster. That very fear marred his childhood and he'd hoped to escape it as an adult but he just relocated it. It turned something in him bitter to think much of the village would praise him when they feared that very power when he had an infinitesimally small fraction of it.
He opened his door to find his sensei waiting and was being hugged an instant later. The amount of comfort of the simple gesture was immeasurable and not for the first time he was thankful he was placed on her team. The wall he'd built around the toll of the day crumbled and Naruto shook in Kurenai's arms. He laughed when he heard her murmur something about her problem child. They moved to the couch and Naruto ran down the events of the day, first informing her that Shino and Shika were fine. Kurenai didn't stay long, observing that her student looked exhausted and he was too tired to disagree.
Once she departed Naruto dragged himself upstairs but had to stop when he reached his son's room. There in her rocking chair and matching footstool, created by Naruto himself, was a sleeping Orochi-chan. She had both hands resting on her belly and Naruto smiled at the scene. She'd been spending more time in the room getting it organized and arranged. Tsunade-Obachan called it nesting and he'd guess she used up all her energy on whatever the day's project was.
Creeping away silently, Naruto made his way to his bedroom. He removed his clothes and took a shower, needing a ritual to remove the events of the day from him. Once dried off he didn't bother getting changed as he slipped into bed, asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.
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Orochimaru swayed toward her bed, moving with an elegance befitting a decades-long kunoichi. Even in her current state, she demanded as much control over her body as she could; though she'd be the first to admit it was no small task. There were several changes she'd expected while being pregnant but actually experiencing them was something altogether different. She hadn't become more effusive but she did seem to feel more, not only in variance and rate of occurrence but depth too. She almost cried at some silly story Naruto-kun was reading Mirai-chan. What did she care about some overly generous tree?
And as she looked upon him, no one had managed to make her feel more than her husband; in that way, his name was fitting. She knew she could get obsessive about things but once she'd solved them, conquered them, or just grown bored she'd move on. And yet, she couldn't imagine doing so with him. It wasn't about the new and the novel, though that he managed to continually innovate was a turn on, she just wanted him. To feel his body heat at night, to hear his laugh. To share the quiet moments meant for only them, for that smile he had just for her. And for all the things he did for her, for all the emotions he could stir in her she wanted to do the same.
Once, during idle conversation, she mentioned as much to Koharu and Tsunade. Both women favored her with knowing looks and smug smiles but neither spoke until she demanded they explain. 'That's love, Orochi-chan' Koharu said. And then they moved on to other things. So, she loved him. But she hadn't told him yet. Not that she didn't want to, it just felt wrong to do it so plainly when he'd done so on the day he asked her to marry him. Besides, he'd been so tense these past months.
He's tried to hide it from her but she could tell. He'd been training more intensely, he didn't sleep through the night. She found him and his two teammates with their heads together quite often as if planning something. It was easy to forget that on the day he was born he'd lost almost everything and she could see the resolve in not allowing that fate to befall his child. She never offered him false promises, she was in a limited position to guarantee the safety of their child. But she could ground him.
Birthing classes, late-night runs for cravings she may or may not have been experiencing, and testing the limits of his Mokuton as she made him create several different kinds of cribs; she just needed things that tied him to the present. And it helped, she could tell. It wasn't her preferred method, however. She should have been there with him, on the battlefield engaging in the slaughter of those that dared threaten their child. At last, it was not to be. But next time, she promised, she'd show her husband a thing or two about wide-scale violence and mayhem.
As she slid into bed she felt him already getting up, already preparing to check on her. "Sshh, go back to sleep; everything is fine," she said as he readjusted to spoon her, his hand laying lightly on her belly. She smiled, everything was more than fine. She was well and truly happy.
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[The Big Day]
"My water broke," she said and Naruto never knew three little words could send him into near panic. They had her go-bag ready, they had their plan in place, though he was having the damnedest time remembering it. It took no time for her detail, the Sound 7 or 8 at this point Naruto couldn't remember as it was a small miracle he hadn't murdered half of the so-called elite bodyguards for being weak and inept at protecting his wife.
Jiraiya said he'd been overreacting when he "tested" them. Naruto said they'd been left off easy with an overnight stay in the hospital. The two never came to terms on the matter and still, Naruto couldn't care to keep count. They made it to the hospital without incident, Shizune-nee awaiting their arrival and as soon as she was settled, they wheeled her off.
The test of Team 8 arrived at some point but Naruto couldn't recall how long he'd been there or much of anything. Suigetsu made a joke about walking a hole in the floor. Naruto streaked lightning across his body and Suigetsu remained silent after that. Though there was nothing he could do to shut up Anko. Oh, there were loads of tools and techniques available but she was in a protected class and loved abusing it.
"Don't stress, Naru-papa," she'd say and cause all present to snicker. Tayuya, protected by clan status, was much blunter.
"Sit the fuck down, Stump!" she demanded. But he couldn't. He was jacked. He had too much energy and it was hard to focus. It was like before he'd reined in his chakra. Just constantly overstimulated.
Kakashi was drug in by Asuma, the bearded Jounin complaining about the Hatake's plan to arrive late. Jiraiya said something about Kushina killing him if he'd been tardy to her grandchild's birth and Kakashi visibly shivered. He didn't get why people were so afraid of his mom, he'd met her. She was like the sweetest person ever. He thinks they were just overstating things. Naruto sensed Obito somewhere outside of the hospital. He smiled, the two had an unusual dynamic but he appreciated the man being there.
Tsunade walked into the waiting room and escorted him to the birthing suite. She asked some questions and he must have answered them but he wouldn't be able to repeat either side of the conversation if ever asked about it. When he walked into the room, Orochi-chan looked calm but there was a stainless steel tray embedded into the wall. He moved over to her and held her hand.
"People shouldn't be so chipper while I'm in this much pain," she said evenly but he could see the murder in her eyes.
"I agree," Naruto said in an attempt to placate her, "it's bad form."
"Yes, we'll see how she likes it when the tables are turned."
"Why don't you describe her to me and I'll handle it," Naruto assured her, lying through his teeth.
"Hmmm," she answered and he hoped that was enough but had a backup just in case. Naruto unsealed a cup out of a refrigerated scroll.
"Ice chip," he asked and she nodded. She initially responded to the cooling sensation, thankful for even minor relief. The next was surprise as she looked at her husband.
"Yuzu flavored?" she asked and he nodded.
Naruto wouldn't ever know how much he helped but he felt like an idiot as he "coached" Orochi-chan through her pregnancy. She, Shizune-nee, and the baby were doing the work. He was just breathing like an idiot and feeding her ice chips. He was certainly glad he had chakra and she didn't or he'd have a broken hand.
"Waahhhh" they heard the cry after Shizune commanded Orochi to her final push. The nurses took the baby off somewhere and Orochi-chan looked like she'd been at war and could use a rest. The two remained silent as they waited for the return of their son but there was another present who felt the need to offer his commentary.
'[Your kid wasn't nearly as loud as you],' Kurama said.
'Well, Kurama-niichan was being mean to me and I was just a baby,' Naruto teased back knowing it'd fluster the fox.
'[S-shut up, don't call me that!],' the bijuu ordered but Naruto could tell his real yelling from his performative one. The row was cut short as a freshly cleaned Uzumaki heir was returned to Oro-chan. Holding their child in her arms, Naruto almost felt overwhelmed. He kissed her softly on the cheek and whispered a quiet thanks. He didn't specify for what, the list was too long for someone that had changed his life, time and time again.
They sat in silence again as Naruto took in his son's features. A tuft of red hair made him pump his fist internally. Almond eyes like his mom, her complexion, with two whisker marks on each cheek. He blinked briefly and Naruto saw the yellow eyes. He grinned at that, it seemed his son was going to take more after his mother just like Naruto had. There were worse fates, he reasoned. So deep in thought he almost didn't hear Oroc-chan speak.
"Mitsuki," she said.
Naruto hummed, "I like it. Seems to fit," he said.
"Would you like to hold your son?" she asked and he nodded and then carefully took hold, supporting the babe's head and little body. Once secured he rocked him gently.
"You know, son, there are going to be a lot of people who expect a lot of things from you. Ignore them. I don't care if you want to be a baker or a librarian or a mason. Whatever choices you make, whichever path you choose I'll always have your back. And if you should decide you want to become a great man, I'll do everything in my power to show you how. Just don't forget to be a good one along the way. And that son, is a promise of a lifetime. Did you have anything to add, Orochi-chan?"
"Just one thing," she started...