Kiri, as far as Orochi was concerned, was a hole. A dreary, unpleasant hole. Tsunade owed her big for this. If it were anyone else, she'd probably consider kidnapping their youngest relative and going to work in her lab. She wouldn't do it, of course. Her maelstrom might tolerate a lot but that would certainly cross a line. Still, she'd have to consider it because Kiri was that much of a hole.
Speaking of her maelstrom, he wasn't exactly helping matters. They traveled via kamui and he instantly slipped into mission mode. That was fine, he wasn't humorless or anything and it was fun getting him to break and having to hastily recover his mask of professionalism. Though, it certainly wasn't as fun as what they had been doing last night. She knew she almost had him when he entered Sage Mode to get out of her restraints, overpowering them with ease. And true to his word, punishment had been forthcoming, which was fine as she'd been a bad girl.
Letting go of her digression, the problem started when their "escorts" arrived. Kiri ninja generally came in two varieties, blood thirsty or dead. She was fine with that. But the squad sent for them were twitchy and cowardly; also something she'd be fine with except they weren't afraid of her. It, initially, amused her and Naruto was unprepared for it but quickly came to see their jumpiness as a potential threat. Scared people that have had their flight and freeze responses drilled out of them will fight. Or lash out like cornered animals.
She reasoned having such people around her, even if she were perfectly fine to defend herself, triggered something in him. All sense of fun and ease were gone as he recognized multiple, potential, targets. Not threats, mind you. But receptacles for his violence should the need arise.
So, he was serious and silent which left her bored. Normally, she'd just say she was bored and they'd find something to do (usually sex or jutsu theory or sexy jutsu theory) but he was being a papa bear so her boredom was a lower concern at the moment. Which led her to the conclusion that Kiri was a hole. At least they were in the village proper now, and the scared contingent relaxed. It amused her to think they assumed they were safer because they were surrounded by more of their comrades.
They took the main path to the Mizukage Tower, Orochi felt they were being paraded about like a pair of exotic animals and given they seemed to catch the attention of every nearby ninja, she could be forgiven for believing such. Fortunately, they arrived at their final destination in short order and she stood in front of the Mizukage, who requested an additional chair after seeing the clearly pregnant Uzumaki matriarch, Naruto just standing beside her.
"Welcome to Kirigakure, Uzumaki-dono," Mei greeted. "And you too, Naruto-kun," her voice with a tinge of sultriness when addressing him, something that didn't go unnoticed by all present.
"Thank you for receiving us so warmly, Mizukage-sama," Naruto replied. Soon, he excused himself and waited outside the office for a little over an hour as the talks took place. When Orochi exited the office the two were escorted to a guest room and left alone. Naruto generated a privacy barrier just in case the room was bugged. The suite, decorated with colors reminiscent of Konoha's autumn leaves, was well adorned and comfortable. The two moved to the couch, orochi placing her head in Naruto's lap.
"How did the talks go?"
"Waste of time. We won't be reaching a deal."
"Oh… why?"
"There is still some unrest here, a segment of people actually prefer the isolationist, bloody mist days. Enough where she can't treaty with us without jeopardizing her position."
"That is unfortunate. And nothing can be done?"
"Kukuku, if we could remove a trio of elders who are causing the most trouble and have the most political power then sure, she'd consider it. But it'd have to in no way appear to be an assassination."
Naruto squinted at that. "Ninja don't just die by accident, especially not three around the same time. Even if it were to happen no one would believe it. Why would she even request this?"
"To see how desperate Tsunade was to make a deal. By even briefly considering it I'd have broadcasted weakness. Outright refusal shows this is something Tsunade would like to happen but not necessary. And had I said yes, assuming it were possible, the Mizukage would have us compromised for the duration of her reign. Though, had she continued to flirt with your hers would be the shortest tenure of any Kage in history."
Naruto merely grunted, not exactly appreciating the Mizukage's actions. "Well, we can depart soon enough and have little to nothing to do with Mei Terumi."
"Kukuku, good. I find this village insipid. I've been bored since we arrived."
Naruto raised a single eyebrow as he looked down at his wife, "Really?"
"Really."
"And what should we do about that? I don't want an international incident because you aren't properly stimulated."
"Hm…" Orochimaru hummed as she thought before reaching an idea. "The task the Mizukage wanted to assign us, could you do it and if so, how?"
Naruto chuckled at the question. "Yes, I could. The how, that's a little longer of an explanation."
"Lucky for you I'm not going anywhere."
"Ok, the short answer is genjutsu. There are some things we can assume about older ninja that have likely seen at least one shinobi world war and one civil war; they drink. The presence of alcohol can turn a simple argument into a brawl and uninhibited ninja fighting will lead to fatalities. The best way to keep it from looking like a job is by making it look like something no one would question."
"I follow but I assume there's more."
Naruto smiled as he answered, "Yep! So to backtrack a bit, I know I said genjutsu but that's for lack of a better term."
"What do you mean?" Orochi asked, obviously intrigued.
"I'm of the opinion, and Kurenai-sensei agrees with me, that genjutsu is an incomplete art. That the difficulty in wielding it with any proficiency has left the discipline undertheorized and therefore still in its adolescence as far as development. Just think about it, the Nara and the Yamanaka both utilize Yin release techniques and neither require the disruption of the chakra system nor the existence of a chakra system to work. So why is genjutsu, arguably the purest expression of Yin release stuck with such a limitation?"
Orochi was now sitting up, enthralled in the argument. It did make sense. There were Sharingan genjutsu that could bypass that necessity but they eluded her, for now, and while the Sharingan gave advantages over others it didn't mean the feats couldn't be replicated. "So, you've been trying to develop illusions that don't require disrupting the chakra system? That would make them more difficult to dispel."
"Yes, but not just illusions. I know we call them genjutsu but at their essence they are a manipulation of sensory organs and often for the sake of an emotional response; fear, distress, heartbreak. But what if you wanted the latter without requiring the former? You could make three drunks become agitated or aggressive without it seeming unnatural to any onlookers."
"And you can do that?"
"Not quite. While working on a technique that would make people turn on their comrades by mistaking them for enemies I did get better at triggering aggression. That I can do without the overarching illusion and the effect would be pretty weak-"
"But if they are already intoxicated they become more susceptible to the manipulation and since there would be no other signs of genjutsu no one would suspect outside interference." Orochi slid into Naruto's lap, straddling him with a smirk on her lips. "You know, Naruto-kun, I've been distracted by other projects but I'm starting to think my rival is getting too far ahead of me."
Naruto ran his hands up her thighs and let them rest at her waist. "You know, since we're married and having a kid and all, we don't have to be rivals. We could probably get just as much done as partners."
"Colleagues?" She whispered in his ear.
"Associates and the like," Naruto followed up.
"Kukuku, that's all well and good, Naruto-kun, but I see a flaw in your proposal."
"And what's that?" he asked.
"If we're always working together then, at best, I'd be seen as your equal and I don't play to tie." Orochi soon found herself on her back, Naruto over her looking down.
"I say this with all humility, Orochi-chan; being considered equal to me will soon be a pretty big deal."
"I do not disagree so just imagine the acclaim for when I make you admit I am superior."
Naruto smiled at her statement and kissed her in response. Orochi returned the gesture but soon broke apart as she sensed someone coming and was proven right by the knock at the door. Another team of shinobi had delivered the Mizukage's official response and were there to escort the couple out of the village.
Once they'd left the village, and seeing as they had some time to kill, Naruto suggested they go to Nami. They weren't that far and he did have a bridge named after him. He noted, internally, that Orochi got a little weird as she declined but all but demanded he visit the small nation. A quick flight later and Naruto had touchdown on the location of one of his more significant missions. The once impoverished village had seen a turn around, signs that trade had picked up and they'd managed to remain relatively secure.
Naruto was planning to head to a tavern or food stand when Kurama demanded he go to the nearest dock. It was strange but if Kurama wanted to see a sunset Naruto wasn't going to fight him on it. He shunshin'd to the location and began to walk to the edge but stopped in his tracks. He couldn't be sure of what he was seeing. Sure it was longer but no one had a shade… but why here? Out of anywhere? Did Orochi know?
Naruto shook off the string of questions and continued toward the edge of the dock. He silently sat next to the person who had already been sitting there. One look and he knew, one look was all he needed. The smile on his face was so wide it likely looked unnatural and if people mistook for an idiot he wouldn't fault them, nor would he care.
His companion, also wearing a smile, much smaller and with a hint of sadness. She briefly looked down and a curtain of midnight blue hair separated them but it ended as swiftly as it'd begun. Impressively, and against their pattern, she was the first to speak. "Naruto-kun," was all she said but the greeting contained multitudes.
"Hinata."