The scent of ocean air and a decided lack of warmth was how Orochimaru awoke. She was thankful Tsunade had long since cracked a treatment for morning sickness or the briny smell of the air would have likely sent her running to the bathroom. She opened her eyes to confirm what she already knew, her husband was not in bed. Slipping on her sky blue yukata, Orochi stepped outside the beach front bungalow. A quick scan and her husband was located, taking residence in a hammock anchored between two palm trees.
She strided over, sand cool under her feet as it hadn't been exposed to the midday sun. Upon arrival she saw he was reading Jiraiya's first book and released a snort in disbelief. Naruto, not remotely offended, just chuckled and assured her it was better than she thought and revealed he'd read the book several times.
"Is this the plan, Naruto-kun? Reading by the beach like a couple of civilians?" She asked as she joined him in the roomy sling.
"That doesn't sound like the worst thing. Let's do that, just stay here and lounge on the beach."
"Is that what you want?" she asked earnestly as she stared into Naruto's eyes. He shook his head.
"Some part of me likes the idea of it but I think I'd be bored before long. Damn my adventuring spirit," he said in mock distress.
"Adventuring spirit, hmm? You know, when I misbehave because of my boredom no one says I have an adventuring spirit."
"Should have invested in a ninja publicist, dear."
"That was my mistake? You neurotypicals are good for something, I'm glad I keep so many around."
"But I'm special right?"
"Oh baby, you're my world," Orochi said but couldn't fight the eye roll as she said it. She was swiftly lifted out of the hammock, Naruto's speed taking her by surprise. She realized where he was headed and felt the need to warn her spouse of his mistake. "If you throw me into the sea I'm going to beat you up."
Naruto stopped and gazed into her eyes with uncharacteristic intensity, remaining silent for several seconds before asking, "You promise?" as he beamed.
"You have picked up one of Jiraiya's bad habits." She was shaking in his arms from him laughing so hard.
"No, I'm decidedly not into getting attacked by irate women. Besides, anata, I wasn't going to throw you into the water. I was going to ask if you felt up for a little tour, Naruto-style."
"And what does Naruto style involve?"
"A bird's eye view," he answered as they reached the edge of the shore. Naruto flared his chakra and a large clay hawk emerged from underneath the water.
"Did you really hide that there just for some big reveal?"
"Pretty fly, right?" He asked with a thousand watt smile.
"I respect the showmanship," Orochi said before kissing him on the cheek. "Sure, I'd like a tour."
"Awesome, 'ttebayo!" The two settled on the construct and took off. Waters parted in response to the takeoff speed of the artificial bird. It was not the array of colors in the early morning sky that stood out to Orochi, nor the sea life just peaking at the service of the water that captured her. It was the exhilaration, the sense of freedom that flying imparted. They weren't going very fast nor were they incredibly high up, not much above Manda's height. It was the feeling of untetheredness, of flouting the rules of gravity even more than ninja normally did. That she experienced it with her maelstrom made it all the more enjoyable and she wondered if learning Bakuton should be her next endeavor, after she mastered that pesky Rasengan.
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"You two come down for breakfast," Shikaku said to his son. Shikamaru looked around sarcastically, pointing out that he was clearly alone. Shikaku crossed his arms at the challenge. In truth, no, he hadn't seen through Shikamaru's genjutsu, it was subtle and very well done. He hadn't needed to.
"The problem with sixteen year olds is they all assume they were the first sixteen year olds to ever exist so all their tricks are novel and unknown. Hate to break it to you, son, but you aren't. And even if you were, remember I'm the Jounin Commander for a reason, fuckhead. Now, come to breakfast so your mom doesn't throw a fit." Said commander closed the door and promptly snickers could be heard.
"You just got son'd, Shika."
"Hahaha, laugh it up, Trouble. As I recall, you were the one that suggested we come back here," Shikamaru said as he left his bed, headed toward his closet.
"Well, I didn't think you'd want to come back to my suite, the one I share with my brothers. Besides, hotel sex makes you feel like a whore."
"Excuse me?" Shikamaru asked in shock.
"Yea, like my on-call gigolo just waiting for his mistress to summon him. And it's fun at first but I worry about my respect for you."
"You're the most troublesome woman on the planet and it isn't even close."
"There's no way I'm more troublesome than Orochimaru. You know, the wife of your teammate and best friend."
"Well, she's Naruto's to deal with," Shika observed.
"Oh, and I'm yours? To deal with no less?" She asked too sweetly. Shika knew the trap he'd sprung but experience taught him backing out or groveling only made it worse.
"Yes, to both," he said and got hit with a pillow. "Can you please get dressed?"
"Sure, let me borrow a shirt."
"No, because every time I let you borrow a shirt it just becomes a new shirt for Temari and I'm running out of shirts."
"Yes, and as your girlfriend that is my right so since we're dropping pretenses, gimme a shirt!" Shikamaru ran through numerous responses to the absurdity he'd just bore witness to but just threw her a black t-shirt instead of engaging. He'd have Naruto tag his clothes so he could just summon them back later.
"Oh, and Shika? Don't get any bright ideas about tagging your clothes just to take them back later." Shikamaru tsk'd at his plan being seen through.
"But they are my clothes."
"And I'm borrowing them."
"But you never give them back."
"And I won't for as long as I permit you access to my vagina. See how that works?"
"I don't see how, given what you just said, I'm the sex worker in our relationship."
"Watch it, Nara, I keep a fan on me."
"Where?" Shikamaru asked in genuine surprise. He'd been thorough last night.
"A girl must have her secrets," Temari said with a laugh as she finished dressing and exited the room, Shikamaru close behind. He really needed to know where that fan could be. The two arrived at the table, taking their seats, Temari greeting Shika's parents as they did. They welcomed her warmly but Yoshino slapped Shika in the back of the head, much to his dismay.
"Ow, why?" he asked.
"I thought you'd have learned to stop misusing your genjutsu skills after that last mishap," Yoshino stated.
"Mishap?" Temari asked as she put some scrambled eggs on her plate.
"It was nothing," Shikamaru reassured her. "And I didn't cast that genjutsu, couldn't if I wanted to. Why not slap Naruto in the back of the head when he gets back?"
"I would if he'd ever come over but either you don't invite him or he avoids us," Yoshino complained.
"Me, dear, he's avoiding me. But she does have a point, you can't just put people under illusions whenever you want."
"If you think I can cast a village-wide genjutsu then you have an incredibly erroneous read on my skill set."
"Wait, the entire village was under a genjutsu? What did you do, Shikamaru Nara?" Temari asked in confusion.
"Well, you want to tell her or should I?" Yoshino asked.
"What a drag. Officially, I didn't do anything. But let's say someone crossed one of my teammates but through a moronic chain of events was spared the beheading that would normally come with such behavior. Well, that person returned to the village right around the time said teammate received some life altering news. And given the exigencies of my teammate's nature, action was going to be taken. And it was. Allegedly. There's no proof so this is all hypothetical."
"Oh, tell her how Jiraiya-sama stormed onto our compound and how he brought a few dozen ANBU with him," Yoshino added and Temari looked shocked. "Not to mention, you were considering fighting them, like an idiot!"
"Shikamaru!"
"Troublesome."