It was dark, like pitch black almost and we were still talking. She eventually pulled out her AirPods and played music.
"Do you think we should head back?" I asked.
"Maybe," she said, "it's up to you."
"I just don't want to get in trouble," I beg, "giving my conditions."
"Let's head out then," she stood up, grabbing my hand. We start the trek back to the house. My feet hurt and I could easily just jump off the cliff. I scooted a little closer to the edge. It didn't seem right. If I'm gonna die, I want my death to matter. I don't just want to fall off a cliff. I was to die when I'm at my lowest point, dug 20 feet under a water hole kinda deep.
It hurt knowing that I grew up with a little catholic girl who was more satisfied with the world than anyone, and now she's threatening to die through text. I promised to keep her safe, I didn't even recognize she liked me.
She handed me her phone so I could choose the song. I scrolled through the list and chose "I Love You So" by The Walters.
"Ooh," she cooed, "I like this song!"
It got silent. It smelled really sweet. It was one of those childhood smells. I couldn't figure out what it was. I pushed Fay away. It was an old dessert Dad used to make me. I called it molten lava. Me and Fay climbed up the ladder. Within seconds, my dad opens the door. If we were just a few seconds later, we would have been caught.
"I made you your favorite," he chimed.
I smile, "molten lava!"
I had to eat it. And let me tell you, they were good. Good isn't quite strong enough. Delicious maybe. The chocolate burnt my tongue. It was a pleasure. Fay watched me like a dog.
"Dogs can't have chocolate!" I made her laugh.
Sometimes I wonder why I fake it. I mean yeah, it's good and all. But I definitely don't deserve it. I don't see any purpose to do anything anymore.
"You should probably leave her be," my dad spat.
I watch Fay and my dad leave. I just sat there. For at least ten minutes I just stared into space. What was I gonna do? Color? As if. I felt my life was getting boring. It felt like what my life felt like at home. The same schedule everyday. The fact that my life was changing actually made it more boring.
It was dark. The darkness was making my natural melatonin set in quickly. For once I had no insomnia.