CHAPTER#4.1: The Secret
[Jacob's P.O.V.]
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My body is in excruciating pain!
"Oww. That's awful. Why don't you try putting them gently, Noona (sister)?" My older sister applied some ointment to the injuries and I yelled in pain.
"What have you done today?" she said, "HUH!" she added then slapped me on my back.
Because of her slap, I moaned, gritted my teeth, and clenched my fist.
"AH! Stop it right there. I don't want you to put them on me already. It hurts, as you well know. Besides that, you kept slapping my back!" As I said this, I was on the verge of crying.
"When we got to the rooftop, we saw you and your pal! Who knows, maybe YOU told them where we were hiding," I snarled at her while I was arranging back the first aid kit.
"I never told where you were, we just followed you," she said and hisse. "You're not even good at hiding, I hope you know that very well," she added, "and also you were hiding like an idiot awhile ago." I caught her hands before she could hit me again.
"Stop it!" I murmured as I continued to block her hand. "I told you it hurts"
"YOU!" she yelled fiercely at me.
"Stop with your shrewd attitude." I glared at her. "It really irritates me," I murmured, letting go of her hand.
"I was also hit on my back by a soccer ball, which is why it hurts so badly," I told her honestly, although I was trying to avoid her gaze. "The soccer ball was flying and almost hit a girl in the head," I added
"Really? You saved a girl?" she asked.
"I'm usually saving a female at school you know but that was the first time I saved a girl that should get struck by a flying ball," I remarked.
Her look was telling me that she was not even convinced.
"Hey!" I snarled at her. "Why don't you believe your brother?"
"As soon as you graduated middle school, I decided to start saving girls like you. After you left, I realized that all the girls at school were just like you are. So every time I saw girls, especially being bullied I will arrive at the scene to defend her. One time there was a girl being bullied by a bunch of girls, so I entered the scene and sent the girls to the guidance office. They can't argue with me since I observed what they did, and I also talk to other students if they see the same gang of girls bullying other people inside the school grounds," I told her.
"I've also seen someone play a prank on a limp pupil. They put a bunch of ants in a soda bottle and then delivered it to the student. So I hurl a stone at the bottle," I said grinning, "Fortunately, the stone struck the bottle, causing the student to be startled and lose her grip on the bottle of soda," I added as I smirk devilishly.
Haesoo reacted and said, "That's disgusting."
"As the class president, I also teach other pupils discipline. As their defender, guide, and friend, I am there for them. This is why I'm a bit famous there, but it's really the kids!" I said confidently but my aura changes when I thought of those children from earlier.
"Hey! Don't act like an adult! You're still young!" she snarled, and I scowled. "You're still drinking milk to fall asleep," she added.
She's a real mood killer.
"Hae Soo-noona," I uttered her name suddenly. She stopped applying ointment to my aching back.
"Hmm?" she asked.
"Have you ever felt that your heart races only by seeing or being around a certain person?" I asked her.
Maybe she knows the answer because she's already a teen, and I've seen a lot of teen having crushes. Plus she's already 17, so she might be aware of it.
"Why did you ask? Do you have feelings for someone?" she said curiously.
Feelings? Does fast beating of heart means you have feelings and started to like someone?
"So you have a crush on someone?" she asked again. "Who was that unlucky young lady?" she said grinning and looking at me with her funny unconvinced look.
"Hmp! No! I don't like someone—I just have this pal," I said and frown at my sister. "he stated that while he was around this specific person, his heart was continuously beating. He wanted to know whether I knew anything about it. I told him that I do not the answer. So I asked you because I–Don't–Know–the–Answer–to–His–Question," I continued, almost stammering.
For that, she glanced at me with suspicious eyes, but she still chose to respond to my question. "Hmm...for that..." she said as she start thinking of the right words that decribe like.
"So...?" I said nervously but secretly looking at my sister's reaction.
"If we are close to someone we like, our hearts beat faster. It's not the like that, you just like her because she's gorgeous. It was the like that you like her having a company or when she's around. Your heart raced when you were with her," she said, as if thinking about someone.
"Sometimes liking someone is just because you think highly of them, and other times liking someone implies you're truly interested in them," she explained before reapplying ointments to my back.
Does this mean that I actually like Lee or that I just feel comfortable around him?
Before, Lee told me that he already likes me. Then does his heart beats faster anytime I'm near him? Or does he only think highly of me when it comes to him?
"Hey. I'm speaking here." Hae Soo snapped her fingers in front of my face. "Are you even paying attention?" she said.
When I understood what I was thinking, I immediately blushed.
"Oh! Oh! You must tell me who you like~!" My older sister snarled excitedly at me.
"AHH—Enough–I don't like someone.."" I blushed. "I have also said that it's a friend," I added.
"But your cheeks keep turning red, which shows you like someone! Jacob had a crush," she teased me and then continued to tickle me.
I can't stop giggling, but I won't tell her who I like.
-AN HOUR HAD PASSED-
I had been worrying about it all day, so I decided to forget about it by watching old Korean movies. Other classmates told me that the movie Werewolf Boy was good. Based on the title, I believe it was about a boy who transformed into a werewolf.
The antagonist realized that Mr. Song Joong-Ki had been turning into a werewolf every night while the film was about to come to an end. Because of this, they tried to entrap the werewolf boy by slaughtering his neighbors' sheep, but Mr. Song Joong-Ki managed to catch them. In front of the neighbor's house, he carried the dead sheep back.
As a result, the werewolf boy was caught and was placed in a locked room away from his neighbors because they said he was a danger to them and others. There was an opportunity for the antagonist guy to get close to the ill girl. Mr. Joong-Ki intervened and saved the girl from being molested by the enemy.
My heart ached for him because he cared deeply about the girl who had taught him so much. It was she who taught him how to act like a human. She treats him as though he were a person. She never touched him or harmed him in any way. When he turned into a werewolf, the girl was stunned. When she was rescued, the sick girl was still able to sit down and put a handkerchief on the wound that Mr. Joong-Ki had received earlier due of the ruckus that had occurred earlier in the evening. Me. Wolf's gaze drew her out of her fright.
"Which of you is real?" she asked, touching Mr. Wolf's face.
"There is no fear in her eyes," I said to myself while wiping my tears.
"I don't care—I don't care if you're a monster..." the girl muttered before collapsing.
"I had a memory of Mr. Moon telling me that one day I would be a monster like him. I had no idea what he was talking about, but now I think I know what he was talking about," I said as my eyes still darted at the Large TV screen. "If I became a monster like Mr. Joong-ki in the film, would Lee still accept me? The same way he was accepted by the sick girl, will he accept me? Will he still treat me like a human being?" An aching pain was felt by my heart by just thinking of the questions I have in my mind.
As my tears began to fall, I was completely unaware of what was going on in the film.
"Perhaps being a monster was my destiny," I muttered to myself.
Like the girl's decision, I don't want Lee to abandon me like that. What if he requested me to wait for him, I don't like that he will came back when it was already too late. Just having the thought of that makes me my heart scattered into pieces...
Is Lee one of my weakness?
I quickly stood up and turned off the movie theater's screen. I dashed to the study room and turned on the computer. I need to know if I'm turning into a monster or not.
I quickly search on the internet. "how to tell whether you're turning into a monster who likes humans."
I scratched my chin since there was no proper response...
Is it possible that the term 'monster' is the same as the word 'like'?
When I searched for monsters that liked humans, all I got were made-up stories about zombies and other strange-looking creatures.
I began to type what was on my mind...
I was staring at the search engine and to the question that I had typed on it.
"Is it possible for boys to like boys?"
I came upon an article about it and clicked on. The first image inside the article was two young adult males who were kissing each other. I closed my eyes for a moment, then scrolled down till I came across this phrase.
It says, "Boys will be boys, and sometimes that means liking other boys. These feelings often develop in adolescence, but can relate to things that happened even before you're born. Whether you are trying to understand these feelings in yourself or know someone who is, it will help to understand that same-sex attraction is just as normal as a boy liking a girl." I froze as my eyes darted on the screen monitor.
"No—No—NOOOO!" I muttered this while covering my mouth with both of my hands.
"In adolescence, boys go through many changes, including a developing sense of attraction. During this time, they not only begin to show signs of attraction to others but also explore their identities. Some boys may be confused about these feelings, while others may know for sure they like boys. No matter what, this type of exploration is normal, and a boy liking another boy is simply a way attraction shows up in people," I continued reading what's inside the article.
I felt my heart was slowly drowning and at the same time being smashed by a heavy object. I can't believe with my own eyes the things that I've been reading right now.
"Is this the way they torment people's feelings? Lying all along on online search engines? It's clearly visible that in the world that we lived in, there are only two genders but why..? Why do they keep saying that it's normal? For them being a gay is normal! But how about me? How about my family? They will not see that being a gay is a normal thing!" I said crying heavily.
I can't get myself off upon the contents of the article that I have read.
To be continued...
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