"I totally thought you were going to get us arrested back in Northside." I tease Macey as I dip my tortilla in queso dip.
We're cutting through part of Tennessee to reach the Great River Road, but decided to stop for food. We're in the small town of Snowville, Tennessee, at a small-town Mexican restaurant.
"I wouldn't have gotten pulled over by that cop, if the stupid son of a bitch in front of us wasn't going so slow. I had to pass the dumbass; I didn't mean for the cop to see me." She laughs.
"Good thing you gave him your number." I laugh.
"If you're going to come into my country, the least you can do is learn to take orders properly!" I hear a woman screech like a banshee. "I ordered the chicken quesadilla, not the beef quesadilla, and extra rice, hold the beans. What about that did you not understand?"
Curious, I look over my shoulder to see a poor waitress that's at least seven months pregnant, being verbally assaulted by a Karen. It's more appropriate to call women like her Karen, because it's not nice to call them bitches in front of children, and right now there's children present.
Trying to be inconspicuous, I watch out of the corner of my eye. The poor waitress is Hispanic. Her ebony black hair is braided in pig tails wrapped in red ribbons. Tears threaten to spill from her umber eyes.
"I'm sorry, ma'am." She apologizes softly.
Conveniently, there's nobody speaking up for her, not even the manager, because of the "customer's always right bull shit". Moms dealt with this degradation before, and I can't stand it.
"What a bitch." Macey mumbles, "If she keeps it up, I'm going over there."
I'm not giving her a chance to keep it up, stress isn't good for the baby. As I make my way towards them, I study Karen. She has let her bleach blonde hair grow out; her brown roots are showing. The nail polish on both of her hands looks ragged from chipping. Her shirt is covered in mystery stains. She's going to learn today. I work with teenagers more intimidating than her.
I place myself between them. "Alright Karen, sit your bitter ass down." I order in my most commanding voice.
She tries to puff her chest out at me to intimidate me. "Listen here little girl, my name is Susan, and this is between me and the beaner."
At this point everyone is staring at the ongoing scene.
I stand up straighter. "I. Said. Sit. Down." I hiss through gritted teeth. "I'll be damned if I let a woman with wretched hair, chipped painted nails, and a stained shirt, bully a pregnant woman! Now, let her fix your order, shut up and eat, then leave."
She gasps in awe. "I have never had anyone speak to me like this."
I get in her face, look her dead in her beady eyes and say, "Well, I guess you've never pissed off the daughter of a cop until now."
Horror washes across her face, and she sits down.
I turn to the waitress, "I'm so sorry about this scene. Please correct her order, and just know that not all humans are like her." I apologize on behalf of humanity.
"Gracias." She nods before disappearing into the kitchen.
I turn back to Karen and give her the creepiest, most Chucky like smile. God, I hate Chucky. Macey made me watch the series in eighth grade, and ever since, dolls freak me out, but at least I mastered the ability to smile like a lunatic.
"Now please, don't make me come back, because I promise, I can be much worse." I warn her before returning to my table.
My whole body is shaking as I come down from my bout of anger. I'm not used to being bold or domineering, so my adrenaline is pumping.
"Whoa dude, you should be a drill sergeant, because that made even me want to be obedient." Macey snorts as she dips her tortilla chip in dip. "My Gods, I didn't know you had that in you."
"Neither did I, but that woman just pissed me off." I growl.
Our waitress, who is the same one that Karen just verbally abused, brings us our food. My curiosity kicks in and I must ask.
"Ma'am, are you having a boy or girl?" I ask.
"Girl." She chuckles, caressing her large belly. "I'm Spanish and her father is Italian. We're naming her Isabella."
"That's a pretty name." I say.
"About earlier, thank you. That lady comes in every Saturday and berates me, and I don't know why. My manager doesn't do anything, he doesn't care. Why did you stand up for me? You were brave." She says.
"My mom has worked at IHop for almost twenty years, and she's been put down so many times. Seeing servers mistreated is a pet peeve of mine." I tell her.
"You didn't seem scared of her at all." She says in admiration.
"Ma'am, I work with teenagers as a substitute schoolteacher, that lady was just a minor annoyance to me." I make a lighthearted joke.
"Well, thank you miss?" She asks for my name.
"Lucy Bolton." I answer. "What's your name?"
"Catalina." She says.
"That's a pretty name." I say.
"Thank you." She nods and walks away.
I'm so hungry I dive into my burrito, only to have immediate regret. Hot beans and meat scald my tongue and the roof of my mouth.
"Not so fast dude, it's not going anywhere." She laughs, taking a bite of her vegetable fajitas. She's basically a vegetarian, she very rarely eats meat. Unlike her, I need meat.
"Dragons don't fear heat." I retort as I chug some iced sweet tea to cool down my burnt mouth.
"You've been changing a lot lately." Macey notes.
I realize she's right, I'm not the little kid having a melt down on the playground anymore, but she's also wrong. I'm not changing, I'll always be me, I'm just masking. I've done it for as long as I can remember. Masking is when I try and hide my autistic behaviors by acting neurotypical. I was never born to act, masking is very exhausting, but it's taught me to appreciate those I can be my true self around, regardless of how weird I may be.
"I wonder if it has anything to do with Cyrus?" She ponders munching on her fajitas.
"Don't know. All I know is that I just don't care as much anymore. Maybe it's because I'm getting older." I reply, enjoying my burrito.
Our waitress bring us our tabs and we give her our debit cards. When she returns with our receipts, I hand her a twenty-dollar bill. She looks at me with confusion on her face.
"Your tip." I answer her puzzled face.
"Oh no miss, that's too much." She tries to refuse.
"Please, take it, you've earned it after today." I tell her. "Also, diapers are hella expensive, best stock up now."
Hesitant, she takes it. "Gracias."