How nice it was to be a good person!
Sure, one had to gush and pretend one gave a shit about all the poor suffering people, but one was also the center of attention. I loved and enjoyed every bit of the spotlight, the admiration, and the worship, so devout and fervid that it often really touched my heart.
Public speeches were nice because I could have large crowds of peasants adoring me like faithful fools, but charity luncheons were also pleasant, with flattering nobles and wannabe members of high society more than generous and willing to empty their wallets for my favour. However, luncheons brought in far more money, so I hosted them as often as I could. And to add to the authentic holy saint experience, I even always brought along a priest.
"Oh, Mikhail? How was Nathaniel?"
My knight bowed after he slipped into my room and closed the door. The sight of his pretty face, so serene and confident, relieved some of the anxiety I'd felt since I heard about the unfortunate reunion between two childhood friends.
"He's unharmed, my lady. It seems he did not get far in reacquainting with Lady Catherine, though he is rather upset about the dismissal of his maid."
I shook my head and gave a laugh. So typical of Nathaniel, to be worried over some servant!
"Never mind that. How was he going out? The secret passage in the chapel's library?"
"Yes, my lady. The maid confessed. He's been using it for a few years, once every month."
"With his monthly allowance. Tsk, how annoying."
Nathaniel had started spending his allowance on the slums almost as soon as he came here, and I had specifically told him to stop doing that. After all, how much could he do with that meager amount, compared to what I could bring in with his help focused on fundraisers? He had agreed without protest, and yet here he was, lying to my face. I drummed a finger on the desk.
It was a little bad. He had reunited with Catherine, though their relationship was far more shallow than what the lifelong devotion of unrequited love could've been, and I was proud of that. While it was crucial that I prevent anything between them from growing, honestly, I wasn't that worried. Long ago, I had accepted that Nathaniel was gentle and mild, but also weak.
I would talk with him, but I doubted it was a big deal. After all, without me, he was nothing.
- - -
Nathaniel ascended the carriage. It never ceased to feel like a death procession, with Lady Valentina as his executioner, to another cruel puppet show for her to show off. She sat there now, decked with jewellery in a beautiful dress that could've fed a whole village for a week. Sparing him a condescending glance as the carriage started, she smiled.
"Hello, Nathaniel. How are you?"
"I'm fine. Thank you for your concern, Your Holiness."
His voice was quiet and mild, as usual. The solution he'd decided on long ago, after giving up on the supposed saint, was to speak as little as possible to avoid being disrespectful. No matter what, he must be grateful to her for what she'd done for him, whatever her intentions may be.
"You're very welcome, though I do wish you would be less formal with me. Now, I heard you were going out?"
Perhaps she didn't keep up pretenses because she knew he'd seen through her. Nathaniel was grateful to shorten the suspense before his suffering.
"I'm sorry. I won't do it again."
"It's fine, Nathaniel. I merely want to know why. Haven't I made it clear how much more you can do by helping me?"
Nathaniel swallowed, like a child being scolded. Still, his own stubbornness insisted on telling the truth, nevertheless calm and polite.
"How much I can help House Avington, you mean? I've been watching, Your Ladyship, and I know how much gold actually gets to the people. It might help them a little, but it could be so much more. It doesn't even make a difference to you, does it?"
Lady Valentina tilted her head, unfazed. If anything, she seemed mildly annoyed, like he was an irritating pest. Actually, that was probably how she saw him. God knows why she kept him around!
"I won't defend myself, since your accusations are nonsense. Besides, if you know so much, shouldn't you know what we contribute is still more than whatever your meager allowance does?"
Nathaniel sighed and slowly nodded. He could never win, so he just wanted to get out of the confrontation as quickly as possible, even if she had missed the point entirely. It wasn't about how much she was still helping people, but her morally unjust practices that caused his complete lack of respect for her character.
Alas, people like her were unfortunately often the ones in power, capable of saving or destroying lives with the wave of a hand. She had changed his world, but he wanted to stop her from ruining others.
"I understand. I'm sorry. Nevertheless, it was wholly my fault, and Layla had nothing to do with it."
"Who?"
Lady Valentina blinked. Nathaniel held back another sigh.
"My maid, who was fired for helping me go out. I'm asking you to please reconsider."
"Ah, yes. But what need does House Avington have for a servant that doesn't obey her masters?"
With her casually cruel smirk, the saint leaned forward. A shiver went down Nathaniel's spine.
"Of course, I would be more than happy to personally write a glowing reference letter if, under her guidance, you've decided to accept the temple's offer of becoming a high priest."
Nathaniel bit his lip as his heart sank. Lady Valentina continued, her smile widening.
"However, if she's influenced you to stray from serving God to a greater extent, then rest assured no establishment in the capital will ever employ her again. And as you know, the streets are dangerous these days, so for your own safety, you will not be stepping out of the Avington mansion without me and my personal knights. Whenever you've made a good choice, I'll have the reference letter ready."
The priest felt sick. This was the temple's saint, God's chosen one, the saviour of the people, and the future queen. How could she say such things with perfect sweetness? It was why no one could see through, but he didn't care, because he knew, he knew, he knew.
In the end, she was his benefactor, the one he would forever be indebted to, and he knew he wouldn't be able to disobey her in the future if he gave in now and tethered himself further. He couldn't be a high priest, a more powerful pawn for this beautiful yet disgusting creature to wield as she pleased. For he didn't like, and almost feared, the idea of a world where Lady Valentina Avington achieved her goals.
- - -
I wore a satisfied grin as we arrived at the garden where the luncheon was being held, after extracting a promise from Nathaniel to consider my proposal, reluctant as it may be. It was surprising he'd held out this long, as weak as he was, but I expected him to give in soon.
"Good day, Your Holiness."
"Hello, Priest Fernandez."
My old teacher came to greet me immediately. Nowadays, he was basically my manager in terms of saintly activities and reputation, and he was doing an excellent job. Unlike someone, he had no aversion to a little bit of self indulgence.
As we walked towards the tables, Nathaniel trailed behind, too far to hear us and trouble his conscience. Quietly and conversationally, Priest Fernandez informed me of our success.
"Wonderful turnout today, as always. The bidding for tickets was ridiculous, and I think we'll be able to build a nice new statue of our beloved saint. On the temple's account, naturally, as a gift for Your Holiness's upcoming eighteenth birthday. The exact amounts will be delivered by the usual methods. Now, let me introduce you to the guests…"
With a bright smile, thinking of how fortunate people would be to gaze upon another statue of me, I graciously met the guests.
"It's such an honour to meet you, Your Holiness."
"Your Holiness, do you remember me? You blessed me on New Day last year!"
"Could you pray for my child, Your Holiness? She's a cute wee baby, but so weak for her age."
They were the typical lot, reminding me rather of Lady Bryant when I first met her, but without the luck of being the female lead's stepmother nor interesting me in the slightest. Regardless, I drank up their praises, more than happy to appear as their pristine image of me.
Besides me, Nathaniel stood awkwardly. I introduced him sometimes, but the guests weren't very interested, not that I could blame them. Such was human nature, to see title first and character later, if at all, no matter how truly holy one may be.
When we were finally finished with greetings, everyone settled into their seats. I had the seat of honour at the head table and stood up to do a short speech, beautifully written by Nathaniel and eloquently memorized.
"Thank you all for attending this luncheon today. Your donations are greatly appreciated, and I shall pray that God blesses you all for your kindness towards his less fortunate children. He appreciates your generosity deeply…"
The words flowed out of me mechanically with the appropriate pauses and emotions, perfected after years of practice, allowing my mind to wander unfettered by the sob story of orphans I was telling.
It was April. In the novel, around this time, a mysterious child supposedly sent by God gave Catherine the holy dagger when she was out helping the impoverished with the childhood friend she recently reunited with, who was now a high priest. She didn't know what it was at the time, but Nathaniel suspected and gave her a blessing, because he thought she would be a good saint, and because he was in love with her.
By all means, it had been because they had spent far more time together. Nathaniel had entered the temple near their orphanage, regularly visiting Catherine, and didn't leave for the capital until a year before the novel's start, upon which they frequently exchanged letters. That precious bond of growing up together was absolutely destroyed, but I still had to be wary.
"God chose me to be his messenger, so it is on behalf of him that I extend our sincerest gratitude."
I had gotten used to being God's chosen one, and I intended to keep the position. After all, the only things capable of condemning my sainthood were that dagger and Catherine awakening her powers, and I'd taken precautions against both. It was why instead of sending assassins and risking her powers emerging in a moment of desperation, she was slowly being poisoned by her maid to be infertile and weak, if not dead. I had to keep a smile from slipping out, as it would've been rather inappropriate when speaking of children dying of starvation.
Nathaniel had been troublesome in the novel, since he informed the crown prince of his suspicions, as the saint concerned the entire kingdom. It led to her being brought on demon subjugations, and her powers eventually waking at one in an intense situation to protect Damian. That should be taken care of as well, since at present she had no reasons to be invited at all. In her sheltered life, there should be no other occasions of enough urgency.
Ah, I ought to ask Nathaniel about her, just to make sure. Yet I was positive that the young priest, who was staring at his plate unobtrusively, was completely under my control, by his own ridiculous moral debt of gratitude. Truly, by my existence alone, if not my written fate, God was on my side.