I want to quit my job.

I've been in this company for two years now and I'm getting tired of doing the same sh*t everyday.

If you're wondering what my job is, I'm a Media Review Analyst. Sounds fancy doesn't it?

It gives out the impression that you're doing something complicated like the impression you get when someone you know says they're working as an I.T. and you're suddenly reminded that they're doing something like what they do in the movie Matrix.

Like hacking using multiple computers and continuous typing sounds from someone who has a 180+ wpm, that looks like they're fighting something or someone across the internet when in fact, it's actually the opposite.

The company I'm working for is partnered with a Social Networking Site company. My main task is to ensure that the online community is "safe" and free from malicious content. Do you already have an idea on what I do in this job? No?

Sigh. In simple terms, when you're using some social media app, then you come across a post that you find disturbing, offending, or just simply you didn't like the person who posted it and reported that post, that post get sent to us, and we decide whether or not to delete that post based on the apps "policy".

Yup, we're the unsung heroes, from what the company tells us, that kept these harmful posts off the platform. Yes, we're the one behind every post that gets deleted and the one that gets cursed a lot for doing so.

But, we don't give a shit. And if you're someone who experienced getting your post deleted and receiving a 30-day ban ( or less/more), no need for thanks, you're welcome.

Anyways, today is the day I'm going to the office. For the duration of 2 years, I've mostly done the work remotely, and now, since the pandemic is easing up, the company has decided to recall all the analysts that are working from home back to the office.

This is also one of the reasons why I want to quit. Unlike working remotely, I have to spend on fares on public transport just to get to work, which lowers my already minimum wage. Sigh.

As I was lamenting my misery, due to my carelessness, I did not see the moving truck that was beating the red light as it slowly inches towards me. I only noticed it when it was 5 meters away and what do you know, life really flashes before your eyes when you're about to die. I also thought about some of my life's regrets and how I wish I had got into a relationship before this happened.

Looking back, I remembered one time when I was a kid, as I was playing inside my room, I suddenly heard someone calling me. And upon looking out my window, I saw a girl, my classmate to be exact, who was all dressed up looking so cute outside our house. It was Sunday that day, so I was wondering what she was doing here, when in fact, her house is 4.1 km from ours. I don't know the exact location of her house, but I do know the general area where she resides and it's pretty much the area of the rich. Which brings me to the next question, how the hell did she know that I live here?

The moment she saw me looking at her, she smiled beautifully and then I asked her.

"What are you doing here?"

The moment I asked that, she contemplated for a while as if she didn't even know why she was in front of our house. As if finally thinking of something, she said.

"Do we have an assignment for our math class"

She asked me that question, with eyes that were expecting something, in which I'm too young and stupid to notice and understand. And so, I was bewildered, like girl, did you just travel 4.1 km, all dressed up just to ask that question? And as I remember, you were present during that class. So I replied to her.

"Yes, yes we do."

and then … there was no then.

We both stared at each other for 30 seconds. I was expecting her to continue but only silence pervades. Then with a weak and dejected voice, she only said "OK" then bid her farewell.

I, on the other hand, was totally confused, but then I forgot all about it and continued what I was doing previously. Thinking about it now, it does seem suspicious that she went to that extent just to ask that question. And then It suddenly hit me. I'm not referring to the truck which was 3 meters away from me by the way, but the single explanation why she did that.

Did she have a crush on me back then?

It's one of the plausible explanations as to why, but then. I rejected that idea the moment it manifested in my mind. It seems that my desperation to get into a relationship has gotten into my head and made me delusional. Sigh.

Another memory flash before me, it was situated inside a classroom, where I was playing a game with 4 participants, 1 male and 3 girls, where person A would draw out simple pictures and then person B would guess what person A wants to convey.

It was now my turn to guess, so my classmate, Karla, drew 3 pictures. First, was an "eye", next to it was a "heart" shape and lastly, she scribbled some lines in the paper with the pen, then changed to a different colored pen and proceeded to draw the same lines and this repeated until she used all her 5 colored pens. I laughed at her effort.

I then took a guess.

"I love rainbows" I asked with a smile and a head tilt. The other 2 participants looked at each other first then looked at me as if I'm stupid or something. Karla on the other hand just lowered her head and nodded. Proud of my achievement, I smuggly looked at the 2 other people, in which they returned with a "I-give-up" look then the game ended there.

As I was watching this, it struck me. Again, not the truck whose distance is 1 meter from me, but the other meaning of the last picture.

It wasn't "rainbow", it was "Hue".

Hue… Hue.. You!!!

Now I understood the meaning behind their gaze and Karla's reaction. Argh. Insert the 4th line of the 1st verse of Mariah Carey's song, "We belong together".

Soon the memory flash rapidly, it shifted to my college years, which was very uneventful. It showed my life as a 1st year Mechanical Engineering student, then the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th. As it slowly reached my day of graduation, the same thing was happening in real life. I was only inches away from the middle part of the truck.

I could see myself receiving my diploma and with that, I finally reached the end of my college life.

The next part would be, to take the board exam right? Wrong. I need money to enroll in a review school, which I didn't have at that time and it's been 2 years since. And now we're back in the present. As the front of the truck touched my face, I thought to myself, what would have happened If I had chosen a different option. Would I still end up in this situation?

and with that…

Oops, pardon me, I forgot to introduce myself, so yeah, it may not be the best time to do an introduction but here goes.

Hello, you already saw some memories of my 27 years of existence, and as you all know, I'm single but ready to mingle, and my name is …

Screech*

Thud*

I moaned in pain. I guess this is the end for me. The only thing good about this is that, I did not die as a virgin. Good job me.

*Fades into black.