Weeks went by, and as I feared Trevor continued to abuse me whenever Liliana was out of the house. He didn't punish me with pain as long as I was quick to obey his commands, and after the first time there was no more blood. Those the only comfort I had.
I tried to act as if I was fine. I don't know if my acting improved or if Liliana was respecting my privacy and playing along, but she stopped asking if anything was wrong. I did catch her occasionally watching me with concern when she thought I wasn't looking at her.
One day in the late winter I was kneading the dough for lunch when Trevor entered the kitchen. I knew what was coming next, so I put the dough away. There wasn't any use in letting a good dough get ruined. I'd just have to start the process from beginning, which would be extra work.
I got so used to it that I didn't feel nervous anymore. I simply stood with my hands clasped in front of me and my head lowered, waiting to hear what he would do with me this time. I think he liked feeling that he had me trained. It sickened me, but there was no point in resisting. Just like the first time, if I tried to resist the only difference in the result would be the pain that I suffered.
"Bend over the table and lift up your skirt", he ordered. I did what he said.
I stared at the wall in front of me while he pleasured himself with my body. Then I heard footsteps I recognized. Liliana, who left only a short time ago to visit her mother with Henry, had come back early. Trevor didn't seem to notice, even though the sound should have been loud enough even for a human. Perhaps he was too engrossed in what he was doing.
I buried my face in my arms and prayed to whoever might be listening that Liliana wouldn't enter the kitchen, but it was no use. Liliana went around the house to the back door and opened it, then stopped moving. Trevor was still pumping away, seemingly unaware. After a few moments Liliana stepped back and quietly closed the door, then walked far away.
Trevor finally finished and left me alone in the kitchen. I took a small towel to wipe away his filth, then threw the towel on the floor near the back door, washed my hands thoroughly, and went back to preparing the dough, but my mind was racing.
Liliana obviously saw exactly what happened. There was no mistaking it. Would she understand what was really happening? Would she understand why I didn't tell her? Would she forgive me?
My tears fell into the dough and I realized I was crying. It had been a while since I felt enough to cry, but being caught by Liliana shook me out of my numbness. I was being humiliated, violated, and forced into betraying my only friend, and I felt guilty and ashamed. There should have been something I could have done, but instead I gave up and let Trevor do whatever he wanted with me, and Liliana was hurt and I likely lost my only friend.
I couldn't even see what I was doing anymore. I locked the dough away in the basket and allowed myself to cry until my tears ran dry. By the time I was finished it was too late for laundry. I'll have double the workload tomorrow, but that was okay. I always had to do double on Sundays anyway, so I was used to it.
Instead, I got started on lunch, but lunch came and went and Liliana didn't return. When she did finally come back she didn't speak to me or to Trevor, she merely ate and went upstairs with Henry.
In the morning Liliana seemed to be seething with anger all throughout breakfast, but she waited until Trevor was out of the house and Henry was sleeping before she called me up to her room.
I followed her up the stairs with trepidation. She sat down on the couch she used for feeding the baby and I stood trembling before her.
Liliana stared at me coldly.
"How long have the two of you been having an affair?" she asked. Tears came to my eyes.
"Mistress, it's not like that", I said. My fear caused me to relapse into using formalities.
"I saw the two of you in the kitchen yesterday morning. How long has it been going on?" Her chilly aura seemed to deepen. I squeezed my eyes shut to stop the flood that threaten to flow out of them and wrapped my arm around my chest, as if trying to protect myself.
"One and a half months", I answered. "He's been doing it to me for 1 month, 2 weeks, and 4 days".
"Was it you who seduced him?" Her voice was quiet but frigid.
Did Liliana know me so little? Did she have such little faith in me that she thought I would willingly betray her to have an affair with my brother? Even if he was adopted, there were certain things you didn't do. I couldn't hold back the tears anymore and fell to my knees, sobbing.
"I'm sorry", I wailed, repeating the words over and over again.
"No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you". The coldness was gone from Liliana's voice. She grabbed me by my shoulders and tried to lift me to my feet. I tried to stand but stumbled forward, pushing Liliana back into the couch. Before I knew how it happened I was crying with my head resting on her knees while she petted my hair and cooed at me like a baby. It was a wonder Henry didn't wake up from all the commotion.
"I'm sorry for scaring you. I was so very angry that I only wanted to let out my anger on someone, anyone, and you just happened to be around", she apologized once I calmed down enough to be able to talk. "Now please tell me what happened".
I told her how he used the power of the collar to force me the first time, and how after that one demonstration he didn't have to threaten me again. The terror of that memory was enough to banish all thoughts of resistance from my mind. I told her how he did it to me almost every day that he and I were alone in the house. Talking about it made me cry more, so I had to start and stop and repeat myself over and over again until I could get the full story out. Liliana cried along with me.
"But why didn't you tell me?" she asked when I finished.
"Because I was scared of what he'll do to me if say anything, and because nobody can help me anyway, and you were so happy", I explained. It felt good to come clean about everything. I could only hope Trevor wouldn't punish me when Liliana had discovered the truth on her own.
The one thing I kept from her is that I noticed her in the kitchen. If she didn't know that I knew then she couldn't accidentally tell Trevor. I hoped that would prevent him from blaming me for not warning him, because there really was some part of me that did want Liliana to discover the truth, and I could have warned him early enough to prevent her from walking in on us in the middle of the act, but I chose not to. Partially it was because she deserved the truth, partially it was because I wanted Trevor to experience at least some small trouble, and partially it was because I irrationally hoped that Liliana could somehow save me.
"I'm going to make him stop", Liliana said resolutely. "He's not the man I thought I married, but I won't let him rape you any more".
Liliana's words stunned me and brought fresh tears to my eyes. It wasn't because she was standing up for me. It was because of the casual way in which she referred to what Trevor did to me as rape. Most humans didn't acknowledge us as people, and so they didn't refer to forcing us to have sex as rape any more than a man fornicating with his goat would be referred to as rape, yet Liliana did. The casual acknowledgment of my personhood, and that what was done to me was an awful crime, overwhelmed me with emotion.