''Speak''
'Thought'
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Walking down the street, I only have one location in mind.
After I stole all of the money from the dead bodies of the polices, I want to spend it to buy food and water for today, and if I am lucky enough, I might have enough money to buy food and water for the next few days.
Finally arriving at a small general store, I opened the door and was greeted with cold air inside the store. An older woman owns the store, and I think her name is Mia? I'm not really sure what her name is, but I at least know that she is kind enough to let me in the store and kind enough to let me buy food from her store.
''Ah, you're here again.'' Mia said, before noticing blood on my body ''Did you kill someone again?''
I gave her a simple nod before walking around the store, picking enough food and water for me to eat today. Walking back to the counter, I put the food on the counter, and the woman sighed as a response before starting to use the scanner to scan the food and water.
''You really need to stop killing people just to get their money, you know?'' She said while scanning the food.
''Why should I? It's the easiest way for me to get money.'' I response
''You could try to get a job. I would gladly hire you to work for my store.''
Yes, I could get a job here and make money while probably having food to eat every day, but I would never do that. It's not like I don't want to do it, but working here would only bring danger to her, and I don't want that to happen.
She was kind enough to help me, so I would never bring any danger toward her. After all, I am a natural disaster or a ticking time bomb. If I were to work here, it would be only a matter of time something happened and caused danger to both of us.
''No, but thank you for the offers anyway.''
''Fine, but who did you kill today?'' She asks me.
''Four cops, they were fighting gangsters on the street, so they were an easy target.''
''Really? Cops? If you are going to kill someone, at least kill someone that is not on the side of justice.''
''Does it really matters? They all going to die one day anyway. All I did, was accelerate their death.''
''I know that, but if you gonna kill someone, at least kill those who hurt other innocent people.''
''And I did. You make it sound like cops would never hurt innocent people.''
''That's true, but not all cops are bad. Maybe the four cops you kill today is actually good people who are fighting to protect other people.''
''Maybe they are, but it's their duty to protect innocent people anyway.''
''See! So you do get it. You should know that cops are fighting for justice to protect people and help improve this shit-hole of a city.''
''Don't be a fool, Mia. Justice is a weapon, and it can be used to cause harm, but it cannot protect or save others.''
She sighs, before answering ''I hate when you make a good point. You are too smart for your age. But think about this, why don't you use your power to be on the side that saves people. You might not know what good or bad really means, but if you can choose to be one of them, you should at least become a good person.
You don't need to use your power for justice, but you should at least use your power to save the weak. You might not see a great difference between right and wrong, but saving others is something just a bit wonderful.''
After that, she finished scanning, and I gave her the money before walking out of the store, but before I left.
''Also, my name is not Mia.'' She said
Well, I guess I was wrong about her name.
Walking out of the store, I immediately eat the food in front of the store while drinking all of the water immediately.
I don't care about all of the weird stares I'm getting right now, and all I care about is eating all of the food I had.
After finishing my food, I made my way back toward my ''home'' immediately. It's still daytime, but now I have nothing else to do, so I want to go back to my ''home'' now and wait for the next day.
Living day by day, I have no goal in my life. Before I was abandoned, I had a dream of becoming a writer, a novelist, but the moment I was abandoned, I left my old world, my old dream behind, living without any meaning in my life.
In the end, I truly have no reason to live anymore. All I'm doing now is to fight, kill so that I can survive for another day. Before all of this, I never wanted to take a life before, but the longer I lived here, the more I knew that it was impossible to do.
The old woman word kept ringing inside my head. The thing that she said, maybe it might be worth considering.
Finally, after thirty minutes of walking, I nearly arrived at my home, and I could hear police siren where my home was. It would not be my first having police coming to where I lived; I am technically a wanted person, and I am also a mass murderer, so having police showing up where I lived would not be that surprising.
I don't know how they know where I lived this time? Maybe, when I left my home, someone spotted me and reported me to the police, or maybe it was when I killed those four officers?
It's doesn't matter, and what matters more is the fact I was too careless.
Well, I should get out of here now.
But before I could leave, I heard a gunshot from where the polices were.
Looking back, I see one of the police dragging a little girl from the abandoned building that was my home.
From what I can see, she has black hair that reaches her shoulder, wearing ragged clothing showing that she is homeless, and from her height and appearance, she is probably around nine to ten years old.
The girl tries to struggle out of the police grip, but she fails before something happens because she is only a kid.
Appearing out of thin, a group of butterflies start to form around the girl body, and it seems to be made of a small black particle forming the shape of butterflies. Before any polices can react, all butterflies land on their shoulders, cars and everything around the area.
What happened next is something I will never forget.
When the butterflies land on those policies shoulders, they immediately got melt like iced, turning their body into nothing more than a pile of blood and flesh. When the butterflies touched the cars, those cars immediately got turn into nothing more than sand.
Some police were fast enough to react and try to kill the little girl immediately. Still, when they pulled the trigger, the same particles that made those butterflies immediately appeared from the girl's body and blocked the bullets, turning it into the sand.
And that police who tried to shoot her immediately got the same fate as his friend, turning into not more than a pile of flesh and blood.
The girl seems shocked after killing all those police officers, her leg shook, and she fell, sitting down on the floor trying to crawl back from the scene. She is hyperventilating while her eyes are wide in shock.
I narrow my eyes, thinking about what should I do.
From its look, this might be the first time she took a life, or maybe it is not her first time taking life. Maybe she is scared and afraid of what she just committed.
The first time I took a life was back when I was eleven; it was a gangster trying to harass me, so as a response, I used my Rashomon and killed the man right on the spot.
I was expecting to feel something when I killed the man, and I did, but it was a foreign feeling to me, and it was not a bad feeling me, so that is why I told myself if I were to put myself in a world of violence and bloodshed, I might be able to find a new reason to live.
But I won't be able to find it. I should know that.
Maybe I should save her? Maybe she has the same story as me? maybe she was abandoned by her parent too? But why should I save her?
Whether I'm on the side that takes lives or the side that saves them, nothing beyond my expectations will happen. Nothing in this world can fill the hole that is my dream, and at this point, I will wander the darkness for eternity.
But I am too far gone now, and that foreign feeling in me when I killed someone is still there, so that is why I will continue to kill.
But unlike me, who felt that foreign feeling when I killed some, this girl seemed afraid.
Should I really save her? But then, the old woman words rang in my mind.
'You don't need to use your power for justice, but you should at least use your power to save the weak. You might not see a great difference between right and wrong, but saving others is something just a bit wonderful.'
Something wonderful, huh?
I guess I could try that. Walking toward the girls, she immediately to noticed me and started to crawl back.
''No... Don't come close to me!!'' The girl said, crawling back.
''Don't worry, I'm not here to hurt you,'' I said, my voice still monotone, causing the girl to immediately look straight into my eyes.
''Really?''
''Yes.'' I simply answer.
''Are you... Are you a hero?'' She asks me
''I'm no hero, kid. I'm just a guy trying to learn how to be a good person.''