Juliet looked at Jacob getting along with Epagogia and wasn't sure how she felt about it. She was afraid of feeling anything since Jacob would immediately know right after. The Ancestral Bond was hard to explain to people who never experienced it, but it was just like knowing a person from the inside out; every little move, flinch, tremble would tell you what they felt, what they were thinking, and what they were going to do next.
Jacob had apologized to her multiple times, even though Juliet had never asked him to. She had acted like the shield he had needed when he was still too weak to protect himself. Since then, she had cut off a bit on social relationships with other people. At the moment, Marina and Luis Albert virtually led the town, albeit with some instructions from Jacob.
And Juliet was a bit lost at the moment.
They had had a very dangerous discussion about a potential relationship among them, and then Epagogia had appeared. Under the bombastic attitude, she could tell the woman knew a version of Jacob that not even she had gotten to see that much.
He and Juliet shared an Ancestral Bond, the most intimate connection. But she and Jacob shared history, and they had already had something going on for them.
Juliet just wished she had had more time to discuss with Jacob their situation before this woman butted in like that.
She knew Jacob so well, but at the same time, she knew so little of him, so little of his story.
He had known about his past life, even if not explicitly said.
But she had not lived with him. So she was not in Jacob's memories. And that meant that she probably died as soon as the apocalypse started, which made sense since she almost died in this one too, and only Jacob's interference had saved her.
And then she had fought alongside Jacob in Fort Mountain against the most nightmarish creatures she had ever imagined. And it had felt great; she had felt not only useful but also a true partner of his, instead of a subordinate. For the first time, she had felt like they were finally running side by side along the same track.
After Helena had gone crazy, Juliet had felt like the only person Jacob could really rely upon. She was strong, smart, beautiful. And she had felt like he would love to have her by his side for whatever war they had to fight.
But Jacob was too afraid of his own feelings to recognize them aloud, to tell Juliet how he felt. She knew, and that hurt her even more. They both knew. It was a non-secret.
Jacob had feelings for Juliet. Juliet had deep admiration, loyalty, and a great fondness for him.
But now, Epagogia had come between them. She was everything Juliet was, but better. She was the most beautiful creature on Earth. She was so strong that she could thrash her if what Jacob had said was true. Epagogia had the experience and the power to back it up, unlike Jacob.
She was happy to have had the chance to know him and stay beside him for a while. It was just…
Juliet raised his eyes and found the same man she had been thinking about running by her side. She saw in his eyes the age he kept from her, and through his smile, the great soul his frail body contained.
"Juliet, I told Epagogia to give us some privacy. So let's stop for a second. We have been running for a while now, and your teammates are tired anyway."
…
After they stopped, Juliet walked with Jacob away from the others.
"I need to apologize," Jacob started. "And not about Epagogia. I need to apologize because what you said was right. I am not thinking of my future."
They stood awkwardly in front of each other among tall trees, looking into each other's eyes.
"I want to say I'm sorry. You were right. There is no 'but'. I was wrong. I have been thinking of so many things altogether that I'm acting like a robot. I can't be everywhere, I can't be perfect, I can't do everything. I…"
"I want to save humanity, Juliet. Most days, that's my first and last thought. 'What's the next action I need to take to save everyone?' or 'How many people will die if I screw this up?'"
Juliet kept silent while he was speaking. She was listening to both his words and his emotions, and she felt like crying because of the result.
She felt the weight of the responsibility on his shoulders.
"Jacob, no one asks you to be perfect. You can make mistakes. Just because you are older than me, it doesn't mean you are perfect, does it? We live in the apocalypse. Monsters have invaded, and people will die. We can all try our best, but people will definitely die even if we do. Frederick died. And he was one of the strongest in St. Peter."
"I could have taken better actions to prevent his death, Juliet. It's like a decisions tree, and I know that I will save everyone if I make all the right decisions. If I don't, someone will die at every node."
"With Epagogia at your side, you should be able to save more people, though," Juliet pointed out with just the barest hint of resentment.
"Yes, I should. However, I also think that you are right. A 15 years old—"
"16."
"A 16-year-old can teach this poor old goat how to live his life. And if that's possible, I guess pretty much everything else is. I just wanted to tell you that not only did I listen to what you said, but I realized after you flew away that you are right. I need to build a future for myself. But, Juliet, I cannot do it without you by my side. I need you in my future."