Sweat dripped next to his feet, layering the floor even more as the male took in gasps for air. It didn't matter that his lungs were burning and yelling with begs for him to stop and rest. Even his friend sat on the floor and against the wall in anticipation for him to stop. The way his body was swinging displayed his exhaustion. With a spin, the dancer ended up stumbling. If he hadn't been able to catch himself then he was sure he would be face first on the wooden floor.
"Hey.." his friend Claude spoke up. The male slowly stood up but stayed in his spot with uncertainty of going towards the dancer. "You should stop. At this point you're just pushing yourself too much."
Pushing his shaggy auburn hair out of his face, Beau raised his arm in position, "If I stop now, I don't think I will be able to ever start again."
Claude hurried over, taking hold of Beau's arms to gently push them down. It only caused the other to look at him with knitted brows and a glare. "Bullshit. Don't listen to that doctor. You can keep dancing."
"I can barely keep myself up!" Beau yelled, tears welling up in his eyes now. His glare was gone and he now had a softened expression. Beau looked away and took a deep breath, "It hurts.. I don't want to count the days until it gets worse and it's all over. I'm only twenty but my body is already breaking down."
Claude let go of Beau's arms hesitantly. "Just.. for a few minutes please rest. Aren't you in pain?"
"I am." It was a simple answer. Beau's arms were trembling as he raised them again. He was struggling to even lift his eyes from the ground again just to gaze at himself in the mirror to see his positioning. Beau glanced at Claude, noting his worry. However the male went back to sit on the ground to watch. Beau knew that Claude was only watching him to make sure nothing happened to him like the last month. All Beau remembered was losing consciousness in the dance studio and then waking up to his parents and Claude in the room talking to each other in hushed voices and soft sobs. His mother was crying but stopped herself to smile at him when she saw he was waking up. Beau closed his eyes at the memory and slowly dropped his arms. "Let me shower. I should eat."
Claude jumped up with a bright smile, "I'll pay! What should we eat?"
"Something spicy." Beau responded and grabbed his bag. He didn't wait for Claude's complaints about his choice of food and went straight to the communal shower.
Glioblastoma. A cancer involving a tumor in the brain. For some it was in the spinal cord. Beau learned about his condition when he woke up that day in the hospital. His parents nor Claude could bring themselves to admit it. Only when the doctor was finally in the room to check on him was when he was told. There had never been a silence that lasted so long.
It had only been a month since he found out but his chances of living through the year were slim. At first all Beau could think about was everything he regretted in life. Then he thought about those he would be leaving behind. Now, he couldn't stop himself from preparing arrangements so no one else had to deal with it once he was gone. The only escape from the constant reminders of his death was ballet. If it could be the last thing he remembers, Beau was sure he could go happily. Even if he had to push through his exhaustion and pains.
Once he was done with his shower, Beau got dressed in a baggy burgundy button up shirt and straight legged jeans. He rolled up his sleeves to his elbows before putting his watch and rings back on. Beau slipped on his black converse, not caring it didn't match his outfit, and walked out to meet Claude again.
"You know I don't like spicy food.." he grumbled and took Beau's bag from him to hold. Beau didn't fight it and just started to walk out of the studio with Claude.
"Then order something else. It's easy." He said with a shrug.
"But wouldn't it be better to share? You're not working anymore and you're still paying for classes. You aren't even entering competitions or auditions for shows."
"Would you?" Beau asked, looking ahead at his favorite restaurant, 'Peppered Sea'. It had the best spicy food in New Orleans in Beau's opinion.
Claude huffed, "Well I wouldn't be so casual about it like you… Won't you at least look into some? Maybe it'll lift your spirits. I know your family would love seeing you perform again. Besides, you're still practicing. Just you're practicing a bit harder for practically no reason."
Beau stopped as they were in the middle of the street. He looked at Claude who had stopped too with a brow raised, "It's not for no reason. I just don't want to die on stage. I prefer the studio."
"Hey-" Claude started but stopped when Beau started to walk again.
"It's fine."
"It's not… You are too casual about all of this. I'm losing my best friend." Claude followed after Beau.
Beau had accepted his fate. He wasn't scared of dying. If he was then he would be trying to find a way to live like many other patients with incurable and deadly diagnoses. He grew up happy and surrounded by love. Beau wanted to continue to live that way until his world decided to end. Even if it meant he was called selfish behind his back for not trying to fight.
Beau didn't respond to Claude. When they reached the restaurant, Beau rushed inside and to his usual spot. He had been coming to this place for years and was a favored regular. None of the staff knew of his condition so when the waitress came up to the table with a grin and set the pitcher of water down, Beau smiled back.
"Looks like we have some handsome guys in here today finally." The aged woman said as she usually did. "Are you having your regular?" She asked.
Beau nodded, "Yes. Do you have anything that isn't spicy? For Claude."
"Again? Is anything we give you not spicy? Last time the chef did his best."
"It still burned. What about soup? You got that?" Claude questioned, leaning against the table.
The woman paused in thought but then walked away leaving the two confused. She came back shortly and placed a menu down in front of Claude. "How about you decide what looks good and I'll ask the chef to make sure it's not spicy. Everything here has flavor. That's why we're called 'Peppered Sea', Honey." She said and patted Claude's shoulder. He was already opening the menu to look. "I'll bring you some glasses and then appetizers. They're on the house today for regulars."
"Oh? Why?" Beau asked her curiously.
The woman leaned down, "My nephew is back in town. His father is very happy. It's been eight years after all." she said in a whisper followed by a chuckle.
Beau watched her walk away. The owner has a son? He couldn't imagine it. While this was a family owned restaurant, there had never been photos of any young guy on the walls with the other family members. Beau looked around for the owner to see if there was a male with him but his attention was instead caught on Claude who held out the menu.
"I'll try this. Clam soup." He announced as he pointed at the picture.
"So they just have to make you regular clam soup. Is that less or more effort?" Beau asked.
Claude only shrugged, "I have no idea."
Beau shook his head and started looking around again but there was no one unfamiliar to him. With pouty lips, Beau leaned his head against his hand. New Orleans had many tourists. Maybe the nephew was out looking around and visiting places. How old was he anyway? Was he their age or was he young? If he looks anything like his father then Beau was sure he would be handsome. Besides the amazing food, Beau also came to this restaurant to get glances at the older man.
"Are you missing him?" Claude teased Beau.
Beau shook his head, still looking around but not as hard or obvious anymore.
"Sure, he's handsome but you know who is better looking? Me. Look at me, cupcake."
Immediately, Beau scrunched his nose and made a disgusted face at Claude. He hated when his friend would call him names like that. In the past, Beau admittedly did have a crush on Claude but the guy is straight. He has had more girlfriends than Beau could count. Meanwhile Beau had only had one boyfriend that didn't even last a week. Still, he couldn't blame the girls. Claude was attractive with his sparkling smile, neat brown hair, and blue eyes.
Beau was just the typical redhead with freckles and green eyes. He even had glasses at one point. It didn't matter how many times people had said he was attractive. He just felt like he looked too normal while also too noticeable.
"You?" a deep voice asked. Beau turned around to look up and see an unknown male. His deep brown eyes that still managed to hold a glint of mischievous in them trapped Beau. He couldn't look away. "I'd say I'm the best looking one here."
Sure enough, Beau could tell right away that this breathtaking guy was the owner's son.