I FELT LIKE…
I DREAMT…
…A VERY SWEET, AND AWFULLY BITTER DREAM.
BECAUSE THE FIRST MOMENT I SAW YOU…
COMBINED WITH ALL THE FLEETING MOMENTS…
…WE SPENT TOGETHER…
…WERE TOO DAZZLING FOR ME.
YOU WERE ALWAYS… RADIENT.
I HOPED THAT ONLY
I WOULD BE THE ONE
TO SEE YOUR LIGHT.
BUT OTHERS SOON
CAUGHT SIGHT OF IT
AND THAT'S AROUND
WHEN I REALISED SOMETHING…
I HADN'T KNOWN WHEN I'D BNEEN IN THE DARK.
THE EXISTENCE OF MY UGLY SHADOW.
THE CLOSER IT GOT TO THE LIGHT…
THE THICKER IT BECAME AND
THE MORE IT CLUNG TO ME.
SO…
I COULDN'T HELP BUT HIDE IN THE
DARKNESS AGAIN.
I KNEW YOU WOULD BE HURT
BUT AS YOU SAID…
… I WAS A COWARD.
I KNEW THAT IF YOU DIDN'T
UNDERSTAND ME…
YOU'D STAY BY MY SIDE FOREVER.
AND THAT SCARED ME.
MY EXCESSIVE GREED
AND OBSESSIVENESS…
WOULD HURT YOU IN THE END.
I KNEW HOW IT
WOULD FEEL ALL
TOO WELL.
I WAS SO USED TO…
… GIVING UP THE
THINGS I LIKED…
… THAT I THOUGHT I'D BE
OKAY AGAIN SOON, JUST
LIKE ALWAYS.
I THOUGHT THAT ALL
I HAD TO DO WAS TO RETURN
TO THE WAY THINGS WERE
BEFORE I'D MET YOU.
THAT'S WHAT I'D THOUGHT…
ENDLESS WAVES
OF SELF- HATRED.
UNCERTAINITY ABOUT MYSELF.
A SENSE OF HELPLESSNESS.
EMPTINESS.
LOSS AND ABSENCE .
LONGING FOR THE LIGHT.
I'D ALREADY COME
TO RELY ON
YOUR WARMTH.
SO I COULDN'T
RETURN TO THE WAY
THINGS WERE.
IF I ONLY I HADN'T MET YOU,
I COULD'VE KEPT LIVING LIKE THIS…
BUT I DON'T REGRET IT.
BECAUSE THAT SHORT
TIME WITH YOU HAD
BEEN THE ONLY
MOMENT I COULD BE
COMPLETELY MYSELF.
THANK YOU FOR BEING WITH ME
DURING MY MOST RADIENT MOMENTS