Hakeem
Due to the serious amount of energy I was releasing in the room, I totally forgot to check my surroundings properly and now I was fully regretting it. I properly remembered what I looked like in my reflection and right now his mixed reaction seeing me in the middle of the wrong hall which I was aware also had a restroom but belonged to him.
"You just can't fucking stay away from my shit can you??" He said in an aggravated tone before studying me well.
"Why do you look all sweaty and your hair looks all rough and shit, you fight someone in there or what?" He asked and I thought about correcting it all but that would be so wrong to do now because it would be suspicious. So the best idea that came to mind was to make him feel as frustrated as ever and distract him from the idea that I looked so out of place. I remembered what I looked like in my reflection and I couldn't help but feel the cringe physically take over me.
"You're cringing??" He asked, cocking his brow.
I can't explain how much Loved this. How every move I made meant something to him, he literally would get worked up if I smiled at him or if I made a little gesture. He was always reading into every move I was making and I loved it. It brought a good kind of flies into my depths and made it all warm and fuzzy. Weirdly, I wanted to feel that a lot more than normal. It made me realize just how much It meant to me even though it was supposed to be meaningless to me. I was becoming weak.
"I'm cringing is supposed to be gracious to you because I could have done a lot more than just cringe, I could have thrown up or had a concussion or just thrown myself out of this damn building but that would break your little heart won't it?" I asked, sending a cute smile. He actually smirked, no mockery or anything. Just a simple smirk at the side of his lips before he wiped it off and frowned.
"You really think That I think about you that much huh??" He asked, chuckling a bit before he looked towards his door.
"Came here to check on my friend of he is still around or he wasn't," He said folding his hands and cocking his head to the side as if he just made a big point, which he did but I was choosing to stay in denial because it was just my kind of thing to do, he definitely made a point and now I had myself to question. Was I hoping he was looking for me?? Or was I just becoming a personal attention whore for Anderson??
Just that mere thought kind of brought anger into my soul. That was when I realized that I was really losing myself deeply.
"Awwn…is poor Hakeem sad that I'm not here to see him, get over your fucking self, just because Darla worships you for your skill and you got an even hotter lawyer doesn't mean you are shit. The whole world would sadly not revolve around you okay, so stop deceiving yourself with that false delusion. Go down stairs now and get your contracts done with," He brushed past me and got into his room.
My chest…it aches.
It aches so bad that I want to go back home to watch some boring TV series.
I looked at the door he slammed and wondered why my chest hurts at that. He took all my gestures for fun that I wasn't aware I was going to be taking him seriously too. I thought to myself replaying the conversation in my head.
"Awwn…is poor Hakeem sad that I'm not here to see him?...get over your fucking self, just because Darla worships you for your skills and you even got a hotter lawyer doesn't mean you mean shit.The whole world doesn't revolve around you okay, stop deceiving yourself with that false delusion. Go downstairs now and get the rest of your contracts done with.."
No chest aches even harder to the point that I didn't know what to do, I wanted to smash a wall, I wanted to scream lividly. I briskly walked to the other hall where there was supposed to be another restroom for use. I realized it was the hallway belonging to Chris because there were an awful lot of his portraits that didn't exactly sit well with me. This man was an A class narcissistic bitch.
I laughed emptily at myself, blaming a man for his bad attitude when I myself was just bitter for some ignored foreign reasons. I got into the toilet and jammed the door, resting my back on the door to catch my breath and calm my sinking chest. I couldn't stop it, I spent twenty five minutes under water in Pennsylvania resort but I could fucking catch my breath to stictch my fucking chest together. I scratched frustratingly at the pain in my chest but it was far too low to reach so I settled with squeezing my clothes together. I didn't understand why the hell my chest chose to seal up today.
Window to my soul opened while I wasn't aware and caught a stray shot but it wasn't his fault, it was mine. I entertained his shit for far too long. I don't think I have ever spoken with so much hate before at anyone, I rather chose to not entertain the company at all.
I walked to the mirror and looked at my reflection, I significantly got paler and there was a wet substance on my face, I touched my face to see what it was and it was tears…all in two weeks. I laughed at the irony of the Prince of darkness and prince of death, I wasn't living these names, I was a fucking clown. I was no prince of darkness, my father would have fucking tossed me into a pit of wolves to try and tear me apart if he ever saw me like this and I knew I wont struggle.
I recalled watching a sitcom where a white woman cried in their showers and drank wine over men who treated them like shit and I always wondered how much of shit that was because it wasn't really solving anything. I needed a burning scorch and maybe if I was feeling it, I was finally going to tap into the world of greens that I never really wanted to try in college.
Using some tap water, I washed my face till it was pale and clear of tears before looking around for a hair brush. The entire place was empty except for some towels hanging by a rack and that was it. I knew it wasn't possible for a bathroom to go without a cupboard for some certain necessity.
I pressed every point on the wall till I found nothing and almost gave up. I tried to turn off the tap with so much frustration, forgetting how I turned it on in the first place. I pressed the top and a part of the mirror slid out of it place like a fucking drawer hitting the bridge of my nose.
I yelped in pain and launched back looking at it to show the various things I needed in the drawer. The first thing that caught my eyes was the three in one body wash and it screamed cishet so bad that I dropped it like it was fire.
I picked out a hair gel and brush and went at my hair with so much concentration and preciseness getting every angle combed into the wave I always had it and before get off the Counter and closing the drawer by twisting the knob and everything slid back in place without showing any form of crack showing that a drawer just came out of the mirror. I had to give it to whoever customized it, it was neat and getting something like this was not going to be a bad idea.
I opened the door to go out and met Chris standing outside tapping his foot in annoyance. I thought about entertaining it but decided against it. Entertaining shit from them is what caused the situation I was in presently so being the rational Person I was, I wasn't really going to bother about him.
"You know that's my fucking space right?!!" He barked at me and I felt a little smoke flow out of my hands before I took it to my back. I was losing control and finesse, I needed to go tower meditation but I didn't have that kind of time at all, the whole place was buzzing with me trying to combust while I tried to put a lead on everything.
I settled with blinking at him dumbly until he got the message and left me the fuck alone. He looked at me for a while longer waiting for me to speak and then I got tired of waiting for him to react so I could make a fool out of him, so I walked away, away from what ever energy he was giving that irritated the fuck out of me. His alpha male energy was something that I low key would really make as an excuse to kill him because it disturbed my sanity.
"Yeah, walk away like a little bitch," He barked after me but I cared less. He wants to throw a tantrum and I wasn't willing to participate in that.
I walked downstairs feeling dead inside and I couldn't help but let it feel like home. I really underestimated the feeling of peace it gave me in the past when I was inert.
"Took you long enough…" The voice I have come to truly dread said out loud. His voice was playful and just as I guessed, he had a playful smirk on his face like he was the clown of the year. I looked at him dead in the eyes and blinked, just once.
I didn't really know how to frown nor was I accustomed to grinning wildly so most of my life, a resting bitch face was all people saw.
"Sorry for wasting y'all time.." I apologized before sitting again and Isis was the first as usual to notice something was off. She looked at me with concern before looking away, a familiar look that said we would talk about this later.
"I see you style your hair back and not like the wild hedgehog hair you had earlier," He teased playfully at me and Darka rolled her eyes before looking towards me, somehow she was already accustomed to our back and forth banters and I didn't really give it mind anymore.
After she realized I wasn't going to say anything back, she cocked an eyebrow at me and I looked away towards Anderson who stopped smirking.
If I was hallucinating, this was too real then because there was concern written all over his face for some seconds before he cleared his throat. Same way he let it slip was the same way I let mine slip but he should worry not…
It won't be happening anytime soon…I promise him.