HEY SAMKELSIWE NZAMA. just a reminder that you are still brave, beautiful, bold, energetic and young. You have been through a lot and you have made it so far that nothing has gotten the best of you. You ran through the deepest streams of water you caried out blood and still had still released sweat as water vapour.

You are brave and you have believed in faith and you have made it through it no matter what. You have handed yourself into war that had been unexpected, but you prepared your hands to attempt it in both hands.

Listen Samkelisiwe Zama you are kind. You had your safety and security in the lord's name. Samkelisiwe Nzama you need to feel the pain until you cannot feel it anymore. You need to weep as much as possible. You were poisoned by the blood of both. And you drank the bold of three.

Samkelisiwe Nzama you need to visit the graves of the dead ones and thank them for protecting you. Samkelisiwe do not forget to pray every day, do not forget to kneel down and thank the mighty one that to still at it. Samkelisiwe Nzama you are a living testimony. Breath IN and OUT. Walk away from the pain. Learn to praise every situation you find yourself around.

Samkelisiwe Nzama no matter how slow your life may have seemed; you are ahead of anyone who has not being trying. Anyone who wanted to see you down.

You need to appreciate how far you have come instead of looking back at your journey. I know it was hard, I mean you went through the storm itself. I mean rather you where the storm is self. Again, breath Samkelisiwe.

Remember there is more to life than just increasing your speed. Never forget to keep vesting your ancestral world because they need you. Make them tea, cook for them wash their clothes, iron them. Mostly respect them and make yourself their wildest dream.

Sometimes the bravest and the most important thing you can do is to just show up. Face your journey with an open mind and admit to the sad reality of life.

Samkelisiwe at some point you need to accept that you are broken and it not the people's job to heal you. learn that it always rains the hardest on people who deserve the rain. fear is an enemy and you should never let into your heart.

You were given the name Samkelisiwe, so live upon your name and raise towards the stars, be the moon of your journey, set and raise every moment. Remember you are Samkelisiwe Nzama. You shine dim in the open air and you are able to find sufficiency in little things.

Wide is your parish. Yes, heaven did not mean for you to suffer, that why the angles prepared you to fight more harder than even. I believe that you were not a flower than. In the world where the humming bird flashed ahead of creation. And there was no room for mourning.

Remember when the night held you as you crawled and scrambled nearby. You went nearer and nearer like a wolf but you kept within the hand of faith. The ghost that was sent licked at your face. But once again the glow returned. Where they know.

You had to forget all the words you used to say to yourself

I am not sure if I am depressed. I mean am not sad. But am not exactly happy either. I can laugh, joke and, smile. But sometimes when am alone at night I really forget how to feel.

Samkelisiwe you had to learn how to feel this time around and use the words that are strong and fine. learn to chop up each blessing and make it your happiness. Remember your worship is your furnaces. Since time began.

Never let this history repeat itself, whether physically, emotionally or spiritually. close this chapter 

As said in my mother's tongue "sibaxolela bangaxolisanga senzela thina ukuthi siphole". 8 September 2019, that day has to be written in the books of history. No what I mean is September as a whole yet till October. Those were 'Bloody' months for me.

My aim was to start unknown and finish unforgettable. I knew my prayers have no expiration date. I never knew when, where or how god will answer. I knew that I would get there, not immediately but definitely.

Learn to tame your tongue, because it is very important. Know that the tongue as small as it is can do the greatest harm depending.

Well before anything had a soul, I believe there were no flowers than. Well probably I was big then. Daylight is now growing in my journey and the bad year of The Journey of Samkelisiwe Nzama is dead.

I am pretending to be still alive; the sun always