Valeria Brinstrone was just informed by a reaper supervisor that she has to be a substitute reaper to reap 100 souls within 3 months or have her soul sent to hell to serve the King of Hell.
Talk about the worst motivational talk ever for an employee, even if she is a mere substitute. Reaping souls is still a job. Even if she will not be getting paid for it. Her only payment is that she gets to keep her soul. Yay. What other motivation does she need right?
"Wait, WHAT??" she exclaimed loudly in response to the conditions.
"Exactly what I told you, I do not have to repeat it," the supervisor said.
Valeria did some calculations in her mind. Okay, so it sounded daunting in the beginning but it's not that bad actually. A hundred souls in 3 months is about 1.11111 souls per day so it is not like she has to reap 10 souls per day. One or two souls per day is still manageable. She will need to adjust her being-tortured-by-inlaws-at-home schedule for time to reap souls. Sure. No biggie.
"Okay, I guess I can cope, Miss…err…what do I call you?" she asked the supervisor. The red haired supervisor gave her a disdainful look.
"A" she said curtly.
"A what?" Valeria asked.
"Just A," the supervisor said.
"A....what? I didn't catch the full name," Valeria asked again. Is the supervisor playing with her? Why didn't she complete her name? Was is Aden or Aron or A-whatever reaper names there are that starts with A.
"I told you, just A," the supervisor said, annoyance creeping up her voice.
"Oh, Just-A?" Valeria repeated. Strange name but hey, they are reapers, so, who knows how they chose names or who gave them names.
"NO. A, as in the single alphabet," the supervisor raised her voice, her golden eyes glittering dangerously. It looked like she wanted to stab Valeria and stomp on her or both. Probably both.
Valeria shrank slightly away from the tall supervisor with the A alphabet name. She can think of what starts with A….and she quickly shut down that thought.
"Okay, okay, A, don't have to get all pissy and hissy…I was not the one to give you such a…simplistic name," she said, quickly removing the word 'lame' she had wanted to add to that sentence.
She really didn't want to end up in hell even before she got the chance to finish her substitute job and save her own soul from hell.
"I won't send you to hell before the end of three months so now, deliver the soul and be off, we will send you the daily list at midnight each day, be on standby to receive it," A told her.
She nodded. She is usually asleep before midnight. But she supposed now she can't sleep before midnight. A is glaring at her now.
"What? I was just…"
"Deliver the soul now, it has been in that atrocious human tote bag for far too long, it is suffocating," A told her.
Valeria held her tote bag to her chest in indignation. How dare the reaper supervisor call her expensive designer tote bag atrocious?
It was her gift to herself on her 40th birthday when her husband didn't even come back that night and her in-laws had made her clean all the toilets in the large mansion and gave all the maids the day off.
"Look, mortal, I am not interested to know about your petty mortal drama, please deliver the soul now," A told her again.
"Okay, okay, I am on it, chill it, A," she said.
It is not like the soul can suffocate to death. It is not even alive. It is some sort of an essence, she thought to herself and earned another glare from A.
She took out the nice designer scarf, glowing softly with old Albert Chan's soul, and went to one of the cubbyholes with the label 'Ari' on it.
"Have a safe journey Albert Chan," she said as she dropped the scarf into the cubbyhole. It immediately disappeared.
A similar looking scarf immediately reappeared in her hands. It is fresh and new and empty of soul, ready to reap other souls.
After the soul delivery, A went over to Ari and placed her hand on his bleeding wound. It stopped the bleeding.
"You have to take him with you and let him heal. Give him a drop of your blood once a day, only one drop, not more and not less," A ordered her.
A drop of blood per day. Right. Is he a reaper or a vampire? Honestly, she thought. It is like she fell down some rabbit hole and is trapped in this alternate universe full of confused beings who doesn't know if they are reapers, demons or vampires.
"For the millionth time, we are not demons. Also, EWW, I don't want to drink your blood, that's disgusting," Ari protested. "You need to drip it on my wound, like what you did earlier, not let me drink it,"
'A' merely glared at her.
She really must stop thinking thoughts in front of reapers.
"Yes, it is really annoying listening to your endless boring rambling," Ari agreed.
"Well, then, tune out of my private thoughts, you annoying demon vampire thing," she retorted. She suddenly remembered she is supposed to be home by now with a stack of the latest glossy lame-ass stupid magazines.
"I don't suppose you reapers have a stock of freshly printed glossy magazines to spare?" she asked Ari and then looked at A.
A rolled her eyes and walked away. She went to a bean bag and sat down, with her back towards them.
"Hmm…not much of a conversationalist huh?" she remarked, looking at the supervisor's back.
"Trust me, she has spoken the most today compared to most days in the years I worked under her," Ari said. He stumbled up. At least he has stopped oozing goo from the hole in his abdomen.
She looked at his wound. Oh, it's no longer a gaping wound. A had managed to close the wound. Wow. Magical healer. She didn't know a reaper's touch can heal. Not that she knew anything about reapers till today. It wasn't in any of Ari's memories either. All he did was reap, reap, reap. She went to look closer at the wound but Ari shifted away.
"Hey, personal space….ever heard of social distancing, lady," he exclaimed, moving away from her warily.
She gave him a look.
"I'm not gonna stab you again if that's what you're scared of, ugh, I thought you're some badass demon vampire reaper thing but you're just a wimpy ass little boy," she rolled her eyes and walked off.
It is late. It is near midnight. She doesn't even have a single glossy magazine. She is going to so get it from her monster-in-law when she gets back.
"Hey! Take that back! What wimpy ass…how dare you…" Ari shuffled after her, still clutching his wound.
She ignored him. She has to get out of Zen Soul Headquarters and look for 24-hour convenience stores and hope she can get at least a couple of the latest editions glossy lame magazines.
"It's not Zen Soul Headquarters by the way," Ari mumbled behind her.
She continued to ignore him. Who cares what they call their headquarters. It looks like a Zen Soul Headquarters to her and that's what she's calling it.
"It's called the ZAL Headquarters, for Zarin After Life Headquarters," he said, still shuffling behind her.
Lame-o, she thought. Zen Soul Headquarters sounds way better.
"It is NOT lame, hey, why are you walking so fast…" Ari said as she sped up her pace, almost jogging out of the ZAL Zen Soul whatever headquarters they want to call it.
By the time she got to her car, Ari was still shuffling out of the lame name headquarters. She stood with her car door open, tapping her foot impatiently.
"Can you hurry it up? It is going to be after midnight and I still need to search for stupid magazines for the monster-in-law at home," she said.
Ari made no attempt to hurry. He slowly shuffled to her car and slowly opened the passenger door behind and slowly, very slowly lowered himself to get in. She looked at her watch. Fishsticks! It is midnight! She slammed the passenger door shut and got in the driver's seat.
"Why? What happens at midnight? You turn into a werewolf or something?" Ari asked tauntingly.
"Oh shuddup you demon vampire thing," she countered.
"For the last time…I am NOT a…oh forget it, " Ari huffed and slumped back on the seat sulkily.
She set the car on drive and pealed out of the carpark. She has to find a 24-hour convenience store fast. As if summoned by her thoughts about her, Valeria's phone started ringing in her tote bag. It was the monster-in-law's ringtone.
She is SO DEAD.
She reached over and dug around her tote bag while keeping one hand on the wheel, still speeding down the road. She narrowly swerved a pedestrian running across a zebra crossing.
"Hey, you may be a substitute reaper, that doesn't give you the right to kill people on the road," Ari commented from the back seat.
She ignored him. She found her phone and hit speaker phone.
"Where are you bitch?? It has been hours!!! Are you out there gallivanting with some man???" Erin Brinstrone's imperious voice rang out from the phone.
"About right, lady," Ari muttered from behind.
"Shuddup!" she hissed at him.
"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME???" Erin Brinstrone screamed.
Fishsticks. Valeria knew she is doomed. SO DOOMED.