CHAPTER 1

For THE AUTHENTIC MAN LIFE is in living. It is not a thing, it is a process.

There is no way to attain to life except by living it, except by being alive, by

flowing, streaming with it. If we are seeking the meaning of life in some

dogma, in some philosophy, that is the sure way to miss life and meaning

both. Life is not somewhere waiting for us, it is happening in us. It is not in

the future as a goal to be arrived at, it is here now, this very moment -- in

our breathing, circulating in our blood, beating in our heart. Whatsoever we

are is our life, and if we start seeking meaning somewhere else, we will miss

it. Nobody can give us the meaning of our life. It is our life; the meaning has

also to be ours. Nobody except us can come upon it. It is our life and it is

only accessible to us. Only in living will the mystery be revealed to us. Life is

already there bubbling within us. It can be contacted only there. The temple

is not outside; we are the shrine of it. The greatest Masters have never said

anything about life -- they have always thrown us back to our self. And once

we know what life is we will know what death is. Death is also part of the

same process. Ordinarily we think death is against life then it simply shows

that we have not been able to know what life is. Death and life are two

polarities of the same energy, of the same phenomenon -- the tide and the

ebb, the day and the night, the summer and the winter. They are not

separate and not opposites, not contraries; but a completion of one life, the

crescendo of one life, the climax, the finale. And once we know our life and

its process, then we understand what death is. Death is an organic, integral

part of life, and it is very friendly to life. Without it life cannot exist. Life

exists because of death; Death is, in fact, a process of renewal. And death

happens each moment. The moment we breathe in and the moment we

breathe out, both happen. Breathing in, life happens; breathing out, death

happens. We live by breathing in as much as we live by breathing out. The

breathing out is part of breathing in. We cannot breathe in if we stop

breathing out. We cannot live if we stop dying. He dies each moment and

each moment he is resurrected. A person who protects himself against death

becomes incapable of living. He is the person, who is afraid of exhaling, then

he cannot inhale and he is stuck. Then he simply drags; his life is no longer

a flow. The ego in us is afraid of death. Life and death are not opposites; ego

and death are opposites. Ego and life are opposites. Ego is against both life

and death. The ego is afraid to live and the ego is afraid to die. The ego

simply drags. There are many people who are neither alive nor dead. This is

worse than anything. A man who is fully alive is full of death also. Everybody

has to carry his death continuously, everybody has to die each moment, and

everybody has to be on the cross because that is the only way to live fully,

totally. The death of the ego is not our death. The death of the ego is really

our possibility of life. The ego is just a dead crust around us, it has to be

broken and thrown away. Death and life both become aflame together, they

are never separate. Without death, life cannot become total. But the ego

always thinks in dualities; it divides everything. Existence is indivisible; it

cannot be divided. We are involved in eternity. Life is a process, timeless,

beyond time. Death is part of it. Death is a continuous revival: a help to life

to resurrect again and again. It seems that everything goes on changing and

yet something remains eternally the same. Something in us is

transcendental but we are too identified with the form -- that creates the

ego. That's what we call 'I'. Everything returns to its original source, has to

return to its original source. If we understand life then we understand death

also. Life is a forgetfulness of the original source, and death is again a

remembrance. Life is going away from the original source, death is coming

back home. Death is beautiful only for those who have lived their life

unhindered, uninhibited unsuppressed. Death is beautiful only for those who

have lived their life beautifully, who have not been afraid to live, who have

been courageous enough to live -- who loved, who danced, who celebrated.

Death becomes the ultimate celebration if our life is a celebration. If we

have touched something of the transcendental in our self, if we have entered

our own nothingness at the centre -- the centre of our being, where we are

no more a body and no more a mind, and are simply, just pure awareness,

consciousness -- then death is going to be a great celebration, a great

understanding, a great revelation. If we have known anything of the

transcendental in us, death will reveal to us the transcendental in the

universe. The ordinary and the worldly man who lives attached to his body,

who has never known anything greater is very primitive, whose life has been

very gross, never entered it, and who had been thinking that this is all life is.

These people have missed; they have not been able to know all the

dimensions of life. They have not been able to touch the depths of life and

they have not been able to fly to the height of life. They missed the

benediction. Then there is a very small section of people Poets, philosophers,

who have sometimes said that death is nothing bad, it is just restful -- like

sleep. At least these people have known something beyond the body and

something of the mind. They have a little sophistication of the soul; they are

a little more aristocratic, more cultured. But they too are far away from the

truth. The AUTHENTIC MAN known's life in its deepest core. It is not only a

rest but a resurrection, a new life, a new beginning; a new door opens.

THE AUTHENTIC MAN known's the transcendental in himself, then death is

nothing but another face of God. Then death has a dance to it. And unless

we become capable of celebrating death itself, we have missed life. The

whole life is a preparation for this ultimate. Our life is our life, it is nobody

else's. So we should not allow our self to be dominated by others, and not

allow our self to be dictated to by others, that is a betrayal of life. If we

allow our self to be dictated to by others - whosoever they are we will miss

our life. Because the domination comes from outside and life is within us.

They never meet. The Worldly man is an obedient type, ready to surrender

to any and everybody. They don't have any independent soul in them; they

are immature, always searching for somebody to tell them what to do and

what not to do. They are not able to trust their own being. These people are

the greater part of the world, the masses. Then there are small minorities

who reject the values of the society. They think they are rebellious. They are

not, they are only reactionaries. THE AUTHENTIC MAN is neither for society

nor against society, who simply lives his life according to his own

understanding. Whether it goes against society or it goes with society is not

a consideration, it is irrelevant. He lives according to his understanding,

according to his small light. He doesn't become very egoistic about it rather

he is very humble. He knows that his light is very small, but that is all the

light that there is. To commit mistakes is the only way to learn. To move

according to one's own understanding is the only way to grow and become

mature. If we are looking at somebody else to dictate to us, to decide for or

against, we will never be able to know what our life is. It has to be lived, and

we have to follow our own small light. We have to find a way out of our

confusion. Certainty should not be sought; understanding should be sought.

Certainty can be given to us by anybody but in the final analysis we will be a

loser. We will lose our life just to remain secure and certain, and life is not

certain, life is not secure. Life is insecurity. Each moment is a move into

more and more insecurity. It is a gamble. One never knows what is going to

happen. And it is beautiful that one never knows. If it was predictable, life

would not be worth living. If everything was as we would like it to be, and

everything was certain, we would not be a man at all. Man lives in freedom.

Freedom needs insecurity and uncertainty. THE AUTHENTIC MAN is the real

man of intelligence and is always hesitant because he has no dogma to rely

upon, to lean upon. He has to look and respond. He has to decide every

moment and be responsive. That's what responsibility is. Responsibility is

not an obligation, responsibility is not a duty -- it is a capacity to respond. A

man who wants to know what life is has to be responsive. Majority of people

have lost their manhood and have bargained for security. This is all

absolutely foolish because life cannot be measured, it is immeasurable. Life

is in constant flux. Everything goes on changing. Nothing is permanent

except change. And that's the beauty of it, the glory of it, the poetry of it,

the music of it -- that it is always a surprise. If we are seeking for security,

we will lose the capacity to wonder and once we lose the capacity to wonder,

we have lost life. Life is the opening of our wondering heart and the mystery

that surrounds us. Life is so precious. We should live it. Seeking truth in

scriptures, seeking truth in philosophies, is looking at the reflection. And

centuries pass and people go on reflecting the reflection of the reflection of

the reflection. Understanding is only that which has been experienced by the

person himself. Reality needs no language; it is available to us on a nonverbal

level. The whole of life is available -- we just have to learn how to

communicate with it non-verbally. People live and go on missing life. It

needs courage. It needs courage to be realistic, it needs courage to move

with life wherever it leads, because the paths are uncharted, there exists no

map. One has to go into the unknown. Life can be understood only if we are

ready to go into the unknown. Life is non-mental, nonintellectual, because

life is total. Our totality has to be involved in it. We need to live our life

whatsoever the cost. Be ready to gamble with it. Life has no insurance to it;

it is simply an opening, a wild opening, a chaotic opening. If we can

understand our inner divinity we have understood what life is. Otherwise we

have not been able yet to decode life. The whole life is just a training for

how to go back home, how to disappear. Because the moment we disappear,

God appears in us. Our presence is God's absence; our absence is God's

presence.