The Death Drive is a modern take on what Edgar Allen Poe described as the Imp of the Perverse. Sometimes when humans find their life to be too comfortable—whether consciously or subconsciously—a mysterious force begins to pull their emotions toward certain ends. The mind craves entropy and so it will do anything—even those detrimental to its own or others physical and mental well-being.
The mind is a dangerous weapon, and humanity's strongest…for it is the mind that allows such trickery to happen to disguise a corpse for hours on end in plain sight. It is the mind that allows the belief of the fantastic and the utter denial of the real.
The mind experiences reality. This is common knowledge, but what surprisingly isn't so common is a clarification on that very point that supposes that the mind discovers reality. It is an invaluable skill to learn when you are being fed falsehoods mixed with the truth, as that is their most potent hiding place. Otherwise…you might end up like the two unlucky souls impaled inside the halls of Nasseu Middle School. Or maybe even like the unlucky girl who had her throat slit open during a hectic summer party.
~…~
August was when the bugs came out to irritate every other living creature on the face of the Earth. Swat as one may for every bug killed ten more seem to take their place. Fall in Nasseu doesn't share this problem as Maine gets extremely chilly and uninhabitable for all kinds of irritating life. It was a shame that killers didn't follow the same predictable trend.
Carleigh was throwing an end-of-summer party for all of her friends. The bugs were definitely present on the hot day—thankfully she planned to have most of it take place out back so that if anybody got too bothered they could simply hop into the pool to avoid both the bugs and the crawling summer heat.
She planned the party for at least the last month as the perfect way to boost morale for the next school year. It was the perfect time because her parents were off in Spain negotiating a lucrative deal with the band whose music Carleigh loved to blast at parties like this. She was trying hard not to let the stress from earlier in the morning bring her down. She would apologize to Tyson when she saw him. It wasn't right of her to ask what she did of him…it was insensitive. She realized that, and she wanted to make it right. He wasn't answering, and she didn't really want to apologize over text…it wouldn't seem as genuine. And…there was more to apologize for…maybe more that he didn't know about. Maybe he did, she'd find out today nonetheless.
She had the place set up nice for the first guests who were set to arrive soon. The large foyer opened up to a parlor room where she had tables upon tables of all kinds of different foods laid out. Most of it was just usual party fare—chips and dips of all kinds, but there were some dishes that she had made herself. Her mother taught her how to make a nice spinach quiche. It was the first thing that she had made that she believed was actually really good. Next to that was some lasagna that had just come out of the stove, and then there was some assortment of other finger foods next to the drinks. She adjusted everything until the very last minute when she heard the doorbell ring. She jumped out of herself and rushed to the door.
As she opened, she expected to see Tyson there. He was definitely the person who was at her house the most often, so she thought that he'd be the first to show up, but it turned out that Ashley Evans was the first to step through the door. She was holding Adam at her side. His eyes painted the clear picture that they were busy before stopping over—glazed over was an understatement.
Ashley looked the room over once before looking to Carleigh, "Doesn't seem too…accommodating here for a party," she began. "It looks like…I don't know, normal."
"Oh, no, I thought we could mainly be out back by the pool. I've got food and everything else here in the parlor if we want it."
She nodded slowly, looking back to Adam. "Well…?"
He was staring up at the chandelier and blinked hard shaking his head. "What?"
"You need to pull yourself together," she slapped his arm, "you're not going to thank her for setting this up?"
"O-Oh, right." He turned to Carleigh, "Thank you." He nodded his head rhythmically. "Hey, where's the bathroom? I need to uh—"
Carleigh waved it off and shook her head, "Head through the doors here and you'll keep going down the hallway to the very end. Through that door you'll see the backdoor to the pool—take a left right before that door and it'll be the second on the left in the new hallway."
He nodded and brushed past them both. He pushed open the door and it closed slowly behind him.
"I forgot he's never been here before," Carleigh said, chuckling.
Ashley gave into laughter as well. "Yeah, he's more of a homebody."
"Boys…" she said, more to herself.
"Which reminds me…is Tyson coming?"
"He should be, yeah."
"Should be?" Ashley shook her head and clicked her tongue, "I guess it would be a far drive. Gas can be expensive."
"No," Carleigh shook her head. "It isn't like that."
"No?"
"No."
"Hm, I see," Ashley said, turning her attention from her to the door Adam had just gone through.
"Yeah, he'll be here." She grabbed her arm and dug her fingernails in deep as she tried to remain calm. He'll be here.
"I'm going to go outside—it's much too hot here."
"Right…" Carleigh said and stepped aside. She was holding her fist tight against her side.
Aoi and Derek showed up next, and behind them were a group of boys from the swim team. Carleigh only knew a few of their names, but none of them too well. Aoi and Carleigh usually had a lot of classes together—they both took a lot of AP classes in school.
The house began to fill more steadily after that point. Carleigh hung around in the main hallway waiting for Tyson to show up, a smile bright on her face strung up by frayed ropes. As each person entered that wasn't him it broke just the slightest. Half an hour passed and the sound of the party grew behind her and steadied itself.
She let her arms fall to her side. Her phone was as empty as it was half an hour ago—there wasn't any return to her messages or calls. She even tried to send him another message, but it wasn't even read. She took in a deep breath and tried to not let the insurmountable disappointment completely consume her. The door opened and her eyes darted up immediately.
Standing in the doorway—almost too nervous that they may be noticed—stood Lillian Jones.
Time stopped as they stared at one another.
"What are you doing here?" Carleigh asked.
Lilly flinched as she felt how harsh her tone had been. "I…didn't know if it was a good idea to come or not."
"It wasn't." She turned and started to walk back to the rest of the party.
"Listen—" Lilly dashed in after her, letting the front door shut behind her. "Come on," she reached for her shoulder and Carleigh turned on a dime.
"What?"
"I…You have to talk to me."
"I don't, actually. I have nothing to say to you." Lilly slumped her shoulders as Carleigh tore away from her. "As far as I'm concerned you ruined my…"
~…~
Two months earlier
"…life. You are my life."
Carleigh and Lilly sat on top of a hill at the end of the path from Carleigh's house. A single tree stood overcasting the hill on sunny days. On starry nights like this, however, it acted like a friend to any who gazes at the brilliant lights above. They glistened down their purity on the faces of the two girls who lay sprawled out on a thick blanket beside the tree.
"S-Stop," Carleigh said with a smile, and went in for a kiss, letting it stay, slow.
"Please don't go back to him," she asked.
Carleigh smiled, but less, "…I don't…"
"Shhhhh," Lilly said, leaning back. "It's okay." She held herself tight against Carleigh.
"I don't know…" Carleigh said. "I love him. He treats me like there's nobody else in the world. He doesn't care about the worst parts about me…but," she looked up to Lilly, "…but he'd care about this."
Lilly nodded, placing her head against Carleigh's, "Listen, forget about him for now, okay? You're here…and if you do go back then you can worry about that then. Just enjoy tonight." Lilly started to cry, but she was trying her hardest to hold it in. "Hold it in for tonight…please. I need you." She began to cry hard.
Carleigh held her arms around Lilly. She rubbed her back and nestled Lilly's head against her shoulder. "You shouldn't…I can't…I can't do this anymore." She caressed Lilly's face, "I…I can't…" and then felt herself pulling closer and then kissing her back. I can't.
But she did.
They kissed fervently. Lilly was in her lap kissing upwards, cradling her neck. Carleigh pursed her lips and then let her tongue slip into Lilly's mouth, coaxing hers out and then letting them dance on each other like some twisted tango. Carleigh's hand rubbed her back and then crawled up to her neck.
Tears crawled down Lilly's face as she now pressed into the kiss and her free hand now rubbed her thigh. I need you.
The stars were silent observers to the events that played out underneath the tree. They watched as the fire grew brighter and the movement closer. They saw when the fire was at its brightest and the screams of pleasure echoed into the night. They also saw when the fire at last was snuffed out, when shame began to set in, and when the girl of tears was left to her own accord underneath the tree.
Carleigh was running harder than she ever had before; believing that if she went fast enough then she could outrun the inevitability of the guilt she felt. We're on a break right now. There's nothing to feel guilty about.
She looped it in her mind so that no other thought would dare enter. She threw open the doors of her home and the sound echoed through the empty home. Her parents were asleep, but they were three floors above her and wouldn't hear unless she started to scream. She wanted to. Really…really loudly.
She shut the doors and locked them just in case Lilly had followed her. She hadn't, but it was the only other thing she would let herself think. Carleigh leaned against the wall and slid down to the ground, her hands splayed across her face as she began to hyperventilate.
"This…this can't be real…Tyson would never believe how…"
~…~
"…sorry I am," Lilly said as she looked at Carleigh—the sounds of the party almost seemed muted compared to the deafening silence that she brought to the house. "I…" She looked down, "I know you were going through some things with Tyson, and I took advantage of that. "
"You ruined me," Carleigh said, and she stood straighter. "I haven't been able to go a day without thinking about that night."
Lilly looked to the floor, "Yeah me too."
Carleigh shook her head, "I didn't mean fondly. I'm back with Tyson."
"Where is he?" Lilly asked.
"That's…none of your business," she staggered. "None at all."
"I'm sorry," Lilly said. "I just assumed—"
"You just assumed you could come here and expect that night to happen again, right? It isn't. Now get the fuck out of here," she said, turning away, but stopped as she knew Lilly was still standing there. Her fist was held tight. "I…I can't, Lilly. It isn't your fault, it's mine. But I can't. Not again."
"I'm not here for that." She said, "I mean…I do think about that night…like a lot, but I didn't come here to relive it. I just came to apologize. I wanted to be friends again."
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "You don't have to go…"
"You…you sure?" Lilly asked.
"Yeah. I need to talk to you about something, anyway. And…and I think I need a few drinks."
~…~
"And I don't know what to do about it all," Carleigh was sitting out in the sun with her legs dipped in the pool. The music around them was so loud that you had to be real close to be able to actually hear anything that anybody was saying. Lilly was sitting next to her, and she kicked her feet in the water as she listened to her troubles with Tyson.
"I feel so bad about making him feel like I thought he was less," she said. "He's done nothing but care for me and never paid a single bit of attention toward the difference between us, and I feel that's all I've done."
"Hey, you meant well. I can't imagine that he didn't have fun on the trips you took him. He'll come around, maybe it was just a dead phone keeping him from responding," she shrugged.
Carleigh shook her head, "No, he's not that irresponsible. He's always got what he needs taken care of. If his phone died that boy would have it charged with a backup battery on person. I upset him and he doesn't want to yell, so he's taking a break to cool off. That's exactly what's happening."
She set her drink down behind her—it was a tangy mango drink mixed with rum that went down just a tad too easy. It was her favorite flavor of course, so it only helped to alleviate her nerves. She looked out to the water and stared at her reflection as it rippled and swayed. Behind her she felt hands pressing on her shoulder fast—she turns to see Derek running by and bending down, "Hey! There's the party planner!" He was in his swimsuit—he definitely looked good enough to be as confident as he was.
"Oh, jeez, hey Derek. You scared the crap out of me," Carleigh said, sighing, then smiling.
"Hey," Lilly waved.
He nodded to her, then looked to Carleigh, "Hah, sorry about that! Couldn't stop myself I was running too fast. Trying to dodge—" He immediately turned then looked surprised, then dove into the water. As soon as he surfaced he shook his head and sprayed them both with water. Both Lilly and Carly held up their hands to try and keep from getting their dry clothes wet.
"What the—" Lilly started, but then Aoi cropped up behind them. He was also in his swimsuit, but he still had his shirt on. He shook his head, "Hey ladies, mind if I jump in? Kind of a serious game of tag."
Lilly scooted aside, "Go for it."
He nodded and pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it aside as he took a few steps forward and dove in like an arrow. Derek was laughing, but as soon as Aoi leaped into the water he began to panic and started to swim away.
Carleigh chuckled and grabbed her drink, taking a sip. "Wish I could just be like those two, you know?" She turned to Lilly.
"Wet, you mean?" Lilly said, giving her suggestive side-eye.
She only laughed at it, "No, I mean happy." She took another sip. "I just think sometimes I'm not happy because…" she trailed off, looking at the water. She could feel the rum kicking in, her head began to float and each breath felt twice as long. She began to hyper-focus on the ripples of the water and began to smile.
She blinked.
Behind them the speakers were fading from a slower song to the new hit single by UnderGr4nd. The song started out slowly to match the tempo of the song before it. She began to hum the beat that would be coming in a minute or so, completely losing her train of thought. She turned to look beside her and suddenly heard the water from Aoi kicking the water as he tried to catch Derek. On the other side of the pool holding a cup that looked just like hers was Ashley, Adam, and Sidney. They were huddled around some of the boys from the swim team that she saw earlier come in with Aoi.
Others crowded the drink table—guzzling what was a crazy amount of alcohol. Cheers erupted as the song began to fade in more clearly—it was popular for a reason. She turned finally to her right and saw Tyson sitting beside her. She smiled and raised the cup to her lips. He smiled back to her and she smiled even larger. She took a huge gulp and set the cup down beside her as the first verse started to fill out. The kick drum was now pounding so loud that she felt it shake her heart. She was now pumping her fist in the air to the beat of the drum.
Colors exploded in her vision and the sun streaked an elaborate masterpiece in front of her eyes. The dancing bodies out in the pool began to change from bodies to formless moving shapes that almost looked gelatinous.
"C'mere," a voice whispered in her ear, to which she turned and felt the entire world spinning around like a kaleidoscope. She smiled even wider and nodded her head. "Okay," She giggled and looked at him. He looked almost formless too; like a clay figure that pretended to be human. He held out a blocky hand and she took it.
The voice wasn't Tyson's. He never was next to her—he wasn't even at the party. Lilly stood next to her and whispered in her ear as Carleigh's mind grew to a psychedelic minefield—explosions of color at every new sight.
"C'mere, we're going to the bedroom," Lilly whispered in her ear again. She bit her lip and it made her smile. She couldn't stop thinking about that night under the tree—she felt like something had exploded inside her too. Nothing else seemed to make sense until that very moment, and she had to feel it again. I need you. Carleigh smiled and made a satisfied moan, she felt good when her voice danced across her ear. She bit her lip and raised her head. "Baby, you know how good that feels, but we're at a party..."
"They won't mind."
Lilly swung her bedroom door open as she made the way through the house. She let go of Carleigh's arm and turned to close the door—the music was now muffled as it got back to the chorus.
"Don't you stop the—Don't you stop the—Don't you stop the par-tay-tay-tay-tay-tay-t-t-t-ttttttttttttttttt— EVERYBODY RAISE YOUR DRINKS!"
Carleigh found her way to the bed—stumbling around the room as if it were spinning on her. Just before she was about to turn and sit on the end Lilly stepped up from behind and pushed her down face-first. Lilly grunted and took her from the side and flipped her onto her back so that she stared up at the ceiling. Carleigh's tank top exposed her midriff much clearer. Lilly in an instant felt a surge of energy.
She grabbed for Carleigh's shorts, unbuttoning the top and pulling down the zipper, exposing her pink-laced panties. Lilly gripped the bottom of Carleigh's shorts tight and yanked them down to her knees and then slid them off completely. She tossed them off the side of the bed. Lilly was then rushing to unbutton her own shorts.
"Tyson? This...this isn't funny any longer." Carleigh tried to call out. It wasn't so much clear English, it sounded more like "Tyson? Thissn't funnyny longerrr."
Lilly didn't answer her, but instead she got her shorts down and knelt on the bed, pulling herself closer between Carleigh's legs. She felt the hair and worked her way inside, pulling Carleigh closer to her until she penetrated her. She saw Carleigh's eyes widen and a shallow sound escaped her throat.
Lilly moaned as she slid herself inside, moaning louder as Carleigh tightened around her, gripping her tightly. In an instant Lilly was remembering the night underneath the tree when Carleigh was running back through the night to her house. When they almost—
She pushed harder and faster.
Carleigh 's eyes rolled to the back of her head—her body seemed otherwise lifeless as Lilly thrust again and again. Just then, there was a heavy sort of noise—outside someone was banging on the door. Lilly turned back to look—she could swear that her heart was smashing against her ribs. She pulled herself out and ran to Carleigh's closet. Just a few months ago she was helping Carleigh pick out outfits she liked from this very closet back when they were just friends.
She closed the door without a sound and tried her hardest to keep her breathing even. Her penis was throbbing and begging to return to the warmth it had been craving for so long. She grappled her hand down her pants to hold it tight, hoping it would help keep it from eliciting another sound. It didn't really help. All at once she cursed herself for what had happened.
This isn't right.
You're too far down that road to be thinking that.
You made your bed, now lie in it.
The bedroom door burst open and drunken steps made their way into the room. The body that carried them took two steps in then stopped, turned, then closed the door behind them. Lilly held herself back against the wall as the body turned back around, took another few steps, and then stood directly in front of Carleigh—still lying naked from the waist down.
The body dropped their shorts and before Lilly could even mentally grasp the situation his shaft was already halfway through her body. It was a single thrust that lead into a second, third, even a fourth; each of them with the force of a wild bull. When it was finally over Carleigh was gasping for air, the pounding knocked some sense back into her brain. The drugs were wearing off.
The body threw back a drunken laugh, and then too late Lilly saw in the body's hand was a glistening silver knife. Lilly couldn't dissociate the body any longer, she had to come to terms with what she was seeing, and pray to god that she wouldn't be noticed.
Derek Young stood over the wheezing Carleigh Heights. His swimsuit was around his ankles; his dick was now hanging in front of Carleigh's body. He didn't finish inside her, because that would be ridiculously stupid to do before what was about to happen. He threw his arm out in a wicked arc and made a single cut across Carleigh's throat. It was clean, and the blood poured down her neck in spurts. Derek stepped back as it coated the bed with a crimson gush. He stood there for a second and stared at her bleeding out. He blinked once and turned to walk out of the room, closing the door behind him.
Lilly was still grasping the back wall; her breathing was no longer steady. It played Derek slashing Carleigh's throat on repeat. It played Derek slashing Carleigh's throat on repeat. It played Derek slashing Carleigh's throat on repeat. She stood there a full minute longer with her heart caught up in her throat. When she stepped out she could see Carleigh was no longer alive. Too much blood had drained from her neck onto the bed.
She ran out of the room immediately feeling light-headed. Bile was rising in her stomach and she had to find somewhere safe to—
The hallway outside of the bathroom was as safe as she was going to get. It came up in one lurch and blew chunks all over the white walls just outside Carleigh's room.
"Ugh, disgusting, can't you hold yourself together?" The voice of Ashley Evans was right above her. "Doesn't surprise me the trash can't hold her alcohol."
"F-Fuck...you," Lilly called and hurled up a second round.
"Listen you little dyke," she bent over, "I'm not dealing with you today. You are going to leave and never say a goddamn word about anything you've seen."
"Wh—"
"Or else..." she pushed Lilly back against the wall and slammed her foot down straight between Lilly's legs, "...you won't be able to do anything with your disgusting other half here, you freak."
"Aghhh!" Lilly screamed out. She was still hard and the pressure only made it worse. It hurt immensely, but all her mind could drift to was Carleigh but Carleigh was just killed and—
Ashley stepped down harder and got a whimper out of Lilly. "I said you are going to leave." She stared at her intensely. "I know you were in there, I've been watching her the whole time. You just had to get in the way and make me improvise, now didn't you, you fucking whore? Say anything and your life is over." She cocked her head, "I don't have to tell you to listen, because you hear my voice inside your head, don't you? You hear how strong it is and how I could snap your brain stem like it were a twig if I want. You already know how things go when people challenge my authority."
Lilly said nothing...she only grit her teeth. Her mind was still trying to piece it all together. Derek...and Ashley? But why? What could they possibly—She pressed down harder then, blood began to pool at her crotch now.
"Agree, or die."
"...w-why?" Lilly got out in-between labored breaths.
Ashley shook her head. "No." She dragged Lilly aside to the staircase—she was reeling from the pain that was now searing inside her stomach. Ashley set her down and in one motion kicked her down the stairs.
Lilly didn't see it coming; she was rolling and felt her arm snap halfway down. Thankfully she landed right-side up when she hit the bottom—avoiding any serious head trauma, but she didn't wait to assess her injuries. She got up and started to run as fast as she could. Behind her she could hear Ashley calling from the top of the steps.
"Oh no! Lilly! Watch out for those steps! I think you're going to fall!" She feigned concern and placed her hands over her mouth, grinning underneath.
Lilly could only imagine what she could have been thinking. She made it outside, not stopping for anybody that might have tried to ask her what had happened. She wasn't totally sure if anybody had—she wasn't in the direct path of anybody since they were all concentrated out back. She ran home. The only thing she thought about was making it home.
The police arrived five minutes later—the same unit doled out by Robert Honeyswourth over a noise complaint. Ashley Evans opened the door when they knocked. It was a generous offer to be the one to open the door to police officers at a party full of underage drinkers.
"Yes, hello, are you the owner of this home?" The officer asked with a bored tone that hung in his voice. It was by obligation rather than curiosity. He knew of course that any kid wouldn't be the legal owner of any of these houses, but these were the east-end kids. Their parents were out so often that they might as well have.
Ashley greeted him with a small grin, "Why, no, officer, but it is absolutely great that you showed up."
He looked at her for a minute fully silent, licked his lips to avoid the awkward silence, and she looked at him back equally quiet. It was like they were having a full mental game of chess...but it were one of the largest one-sided games of a mental war in history. Ashley knew that.
Ever since she was young she was able to convince people to see things her way. It just...came naturally. It came at the cost of hearing voices and thinking everyone else was out to get you—those were the times that she wanted to convince someone to send a knife right through her own heart seven times over, but the strength needed of that feat was just too much.
It all started out with small things. She got her father to agree to an extra cookie during dessert one day. The next week when she was six she convinced him to give her his dinner completely. He went hungry that day and didn't say one word on the subject.
She was scared of her abilities then, because nobody else seemed to be able to do the same. Anytime she told her parents about it they had just said that she was naturally persuasive. She tried to believe that was the case, but she was able to make people do things they wouldn't do if they had their life on the line. She got her Dad to take her to a therapist.
Her father wasn't one to believe in mental illness—much less that it needed to be accepted. She was a little older when this came about, but it seemed she was still too weak to keep the hold on her Dad for long. He seemed to put up a mental block because he took her out just when she felt she was on the cusp of learning more—she felt she was this close to becoming stronger. If she couldn't erase it from her mind then she could certainly grow.
The kids at school were scared of her—that much was obvious. She could make them scared of her. She could have anything she wanted, but she had to be smart about it. If she went crazy then other people would figure out was happening and they would probably kill her.
Probably.
Something was different as time went on, Lillian Jones seemed different to the rest of the dolls she went to school with. She was naturally resistant to her will. She felt that if she had enough time she could find a way to break her. Find a way to get her to be just like the rest...but that implication left her with one of her first fears—of course after the fear of her own abilities. She feared that Lilly wasn't like the others in her class.
She might...be just like me.
This fear was fully crushed the day of that summer party. She held Lilly down both with her foot and her will. She tasted her horror and held a firm grip of it in her mental hands. She didn't just kick her body down the stairs, she tore her will in half—left her screaming out of the house for hours after. She felt good.
"Officer," Ashley said with her head cocked at the slightest of angles. "I think there's something upstairs here you should be checking out, no?"
"Y-Yes," he said nodding. "I believe so."
"Someone's killed my friend upstairs. Oh officer, you just have to please do something about it."
"I have to catch that killer..." his eyes were glossed over. "I have to..."
She grinned, and thought of something devilish. "Tyson McAllister, her boyfriend. He's the one you're looking for."
"Tyson McAllister," the officer repeated.
And so it was done. Unfortunately, she was only able to keep his attention close to her grip while he was on the premises, but the name Tyson McAllister stuck out in his mind thereafter, and after the Nasseu Police Department had some gentle prodding by Rothbert Evans, Tyson McAllister was arrested not long after the party's conclusion.
Since there wasn't any evidence on the scene that linked Tyson to the crime, he was let go pretty quickly. Ashley didn't like that, she had forgotten that she didn't have anything to keep that filthy rat locked up...not yet, anyway.