Katie
How did this party get so out of hand? Kevin is going to kill me. Somehow, these douche stripper dudes conned us into allowing them to invite others to the party, and now I am running around, cleaning up after everyone, and trying to keep Hayley in check. She is drunk off her ass and I am freaking the fuck out. There are couples in every corner, getting it on, and everyone else is on the dance floor, living it up, none the wiser to my freak out. I feel like I have lost complete control of this situation, and it is time to take back that control. I schedule for transportation, because I am not going to have that shit on my conscience, and I shut the music off. Complaints erupt from the group, but I ignore them and climb up onto one of the tables. "Alright, the party is over. There are rides out front to get each of you home safely. I hope you had a great time, but the club is now closed." My announcement is followed by groans of displeasure, however, surprisingly, everyone follows me down to the exit. As I open the door to allow for the departures, I see Avery, Kevin and Leo approaching the club. My immediate thought is that someone made a complaint to the police department. I immediately go on the defensive, "Now, before you all panic, I got control of the situation before things got too out of hand."
Kevin gives me a sympathetic look, "I will get everyone cleared out." It is then that I notice all three of them appear to look solemn, causing an uneasy feeling in my gut. Something is wrong, and the sooner I get everyone cleared out, the sooner I can find out what is going on.
"Thanks." I mumble, looking over at Avery, trying desperately to read his expression.
Avery sighs, "Where is Hayley?" That is when it hits me that Rick isn't with them.
"She is upstairs, laying down on the sofa, she got a bit drunk." I look between Avery and Leo, trying to get a read on what is going on. Leo indicates with his hand for me to lead the way, and we all climb the stairs. I notice Hayley is sitting up now, rubbing her temples. I join her on the sofa, taking her hand. Something tells me this isn't good news, but I never in a million years would have been prepared for the words that fall from Leo's mouth.
Leo squats in front of Hayley, as Avery puts his hand on my shoulder in support. Leo takes a deep breath, then looks up at Hayley with sympathetic eyes. "Hayley, sweetie, Rick appears to have had a heart-attack which he succumbed to. I wish I were delivering better news, but I am afraid he is gone. We tried everything; I am so sorry Hayley."
My heart begins racing, what did he just say? I feel my shoulders tense as Avery squeezes my shoulder as a reminder he is here. Hayley looks over at me, eyes full of tears as the first sob escapes her. I grab her into an embrace, I feel her body convulsing against mine, as we weep. How did this happen? I don't understand, he was so young, how could he possibly have had a heart attack. Hayley tenses up and pulls away from me, hand covering her mouth heading toward the restroom. I follow quickly behind her, pulling her hair away from her face as she vomits into the toilet between sobs. My heart is breaking for her, I don't know how to do this. How do I comfort her? She deserves the happiness she and Rick had planned; how could life throw this at her. Hayley sits down on the floor in the stall and I join her, watching shock take hold of her as she stares past me. I allow her this time to process, holding her hand in mine. She finally looks over at me, "I don't understand", she whispers, tears streaming down her face again.
"I don't either." Tears now sliding down my cheeks, dripping off my chin.
"I don't know how to live without him." She is looking at me, fear etched in her features. I have no words. I just pull her into another hug and hold her like both our lives depend on it. We are interrupted by a knock on the door.
"Can we come in?" Avery inquires, his voice full of concern.
I pull out of our embrace, looking at Hayley as she nods at me. "Sure", my voice quivers as I answer. Avery, Leo and Kevin enter the bathroom, somber looks adorn their faces.
Leo walks over and squats in front of Hayley, "Whatever you need, just say it." He sits down on the floor beside her and pulls her into his lap as she sobs into his shoulder. I stand up and walk over to Avery, allowing him to pull me into his arms. He whispers reassurances into my ear, but I am numb. I am vaguely aware of Avery leading me from the bathroom, taking me back over to the sofa. I take a seat and watch helplessly as Leo carries a sobbing Hayley over to us, placing Hayley on the sofa next to me. Kevin is cleaning up; I am sure feeling the need to keep himself busy. Leo is explaining what Hayley can expect moving forward, citing his bereavement and grief counseling training, from how long the medical examiner will keep Rick and how she can go about making necessary arrangements. I can't believe this; I can't believe Rick is gone. I reach over and take Hayley's hand as she is attempting to appear as if she is listening to Leo. For as far back as I can remember, it has been Hayley and Rick. Although they had their rough patches and spent almost as much time broke up as they were together, I always knew at some point they would get their acts together. They were so close; it breaks my heart to know that Hayley's happiness was stripped from her when it was right there within reach.
"I don't understand what happened, he was so young, are you sure it was a heart attack? Did something happen tonight to cause it?" I look from Leo to Avery, taking a deep breath.
"We don't know for sure yet, he displayed the symptoms of a heart attack. We won't know for sure what happened until the medical examination is complete." Leo looks at Hayley, "And no, nothing happened tonight that would have caused this." Hayley begins sobbing again. Tonight, it was supposed to be a silly, traditional celebration of their last weekend being single, how could this happen?
I stand and take in my surroundings, suddenly feeling the need to shelter Hayley from the reminders all around us, needing to do something. I need to help get rid of these reminders, I decide, quickly walking over toward the decorations and tearing them down off the wall. I notice I am trembling as I grab a garbage bag and begin shoving items into the bag, tears cooling my heated face as they cascade down unceremoniously. Avery cautiously approaches me, trying to take the bag from my hand, but I jerk away from him. I start to brusquely slide things off the tables into the bag, not caring what the contents were. I begin sobbing again, unable to control the rush of emotions consuming me. Hayley walks over to me, her eyes pleading with me, as she slowly takes the bag from my hand and pulls me into an embrace. We both sob; collapsing down to our knees on the floor.
After several moments, when the most recent wave of heartache has passed, Hayley and I sit on the floor, across from one another, woeful expressions spoil our faces. I cut my eyes up at her, "Do you remember our unusual graduation party?" I chuckle a little as I watch Hayley's face light up with the memory. "Remember we set up that homemade slip and slide that we made out of the vinyl of those billboard signs?" Hayley starts to giggle, fondness of the memory apparent on her face. I could see the guys out of the corner of my eye coming closer, apparently interested in the memory I am about to share.
"We doused that thing with so many bottles of dish soap." Hayley looks around at everyone with an amused look.
"You have to keep in mind that we had a really long driveway," I state to the guys, aware of their attention, then returning my gaze back to Hayley, "and Rick wanted to get a good running start before hitting the slip and slide." Hayley and I are laughing hard as we recall this particular memory. "Rick came barreling down the driveway at full speed." Another fit of laughter from us girls, Hayley reaching over and taking my hand. "As soon as his feet hit the soapy vinyl, his feet were out from under him," I am choking on laughter at this point, watching as the tears slip down Hayley's cheeks from her hysteria, "he whizzed down the slip and slide like a bullet, passing the end of the slide and ending up sliding at least 10 feet past it."
"Remember we had to grab one of the neighbor's kids who had unknowingly started on the slide before he could take off." Hayley is rolling in laughter at this point. The guys are sitting around us now, chuckling along with us, unsure if it is the actual story, or the sight of us in hysterics that has them laughing.
"Do you remember that God awful hairdo he used to wear in high school?" I cut my eyes up at Hayley again, who is smiling fondly at the memory.
"Yes, I hated that tall bush of curly hair that he thought he tamed by pushing it back with a headband." She tries to hide her sob with a chuckle. She looks up at me, "There isn't a memory of our past that he isn't a part of." She releases a painful sigh, "I thought he was going to be a part of my future too." Our sorrow surrounds us again, and we cling to one another, succumbing to it.
Avery
Guilt is such a strong emotion, one that has consumed so much of the time that I have known Katie. It is an emotion I have been trying to deal with and work through, but this new wave of guilt is suffocating. As I sit here and watch Katie and Hayley mourn the loss of Rick, I can't help but feel responsible for his death. Although I know I didn't personally cause his heart attack, we were all together, and as a law enforcement officer, I feel like it was my responsibility to keep everyone safe, and I failed. I failed again. The feeling of failure is another crippling emotion. Did I notice what was going on with him too late? Was there a sign earlier that I overlooked? It seems like only bad things happen when I am out celebrating.
I watch as Leo encourages Hayley and Katie to get up and go eat some of the leftovers that Wayne had prepared for their night, and they both dutifully follow him down the stairs to the bar area where the food is. Kevin and I are slowly descending the stairs and he looks over at me, "Are you alright?"
I am surprised by his question, "I am fine, I guess, how are you?"
"Don't know, honestly." He tilts his head toward me, "I don't understand what happened."
"Neither do I. I keep asking myself if there was something, anything to hint that something wasn't right." I draw in a deep breath. "I feel like I should have caught that something was wrong before I did."
"You noticed before the rest of us. You and Leo knew what to do, and I just stood there freaking the fuck out." He gives me a look I recognized all too well; I am not the only one experiencing guilt.
I grab his shoulder and squeeze as we reach the others at the make-shift buffet. The doors to the club open, announcing the arrival of Wayne and Troy. Troy immediately goes to Hayley, pulling her into a comforting hug, reminding her that he recently went through a loss himself, and that if there is anything he can do for her, to let him know. She begins to sob again as each of my friends comfort her, offering their condolences. I look over at Katie who is watching her friend, the depressed emotions clearly etched on her features. I am almost envious of the way that Leo, Wayne and Troy make offering comfort seem so effortless. I slowly approach Katie, her face turning toward me, eyes welling up with unshed tears. I walk up behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist, pulling her flush up against me. Resting my chin on her shoulder, I whisper in her ear, "I am so sorry Katie, I am here for you, whatever you need." She nods, falling into me, accepting the comfort I am offering her.
After some time, we all resign to the fact that we need to get Hayley home. Katie loads Hayley in her car, looking at her cautiously. She turns and looks up at me, "Can you get Adrian and meet me at Hayley's?" Her voice is choked, trying desperately to hold back the sobs that are threatening to escape again. I nod at her, giving her a reassuring look, then I help her into her car, placing a chaste kiss on her lips before shutting her door. I watch as she drives away, my heart heavy, knowing how hard the next few days are going to be for all of us. I feel a hand grip my shoulder and turn to look over at Wayne.
"You alright?" He asks as Troy, Leo and Kevin join us.
"No, I don't fucking think I am." I exhale slowly, feeling like there is this heavy weight sitting on my chest. I look over at everyone, realizing that we are all struggling to grasp what has happened.
"I can't even imagine." Kevin pauses. "The weekend before her wedding, to suddenly lose the future she was celebrating." He looks down, shaking his head slowly.
"She is going to need our support, especially over the next few days. I don't think she needs to be alone; we need to work out shifts where one of us is with her at all times." Leo suggests.
"We can work that out at her place tonight." Troy states, looking up at the sky, I am sure remembering how hard the first few days were after his father's death.
"I told Katie I would go pick up Adrian before heading to Hayley's." I mutter as we all slowly head to our vehicles.
"I'll ride with you." Wayne utters, providing me with some relief that I won't be alone with my thoughts during the drive. I nod at him, giving him an appreciative look, and with that, we all leave, heading for the same destination.