Trigger warning: contains self harm and suicide.
LoE except it's drama (Preview)
(Not canon and no previous chapters since this is just an au)
Jo was intentionally left out by his so-called friends (but it's unknown how) and wants to confide to his mother about it, as promised that she would be able to help since she's his god.
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Jo tried to tell his mom his problems…
"Mom, im being left out by my friends"
"Honey, you're taking things negatively. Like the world does not revolve around you"
*sighs* "This is why I don't wanna confide to you." *deletes himself from everyone's memories*
He ended up getting blamed on and reprimanded
"It's shallow" Mother told me.
"You will never understand my pain…"
He tries to process what he has done and officially concluded that he should not vent to her directly
"That's it! Im not gonna confide to you EVER AGAIN!" *slams door cutely*
"I always lied to you that im okay, im always okay, im fine, i am completely just fine, because im a therapist and I should be okay all the time." Literally his biggest mindset's mistake
Him falling into the cliff of trauma
Bringing up to him his moments when he was still a troublemaker
Getting traumatized once again
Trauma controls him
Randomly brings up the fact why his friends left him out and even worse, it turned from unintentional to intentional
Cerissa offers him to open up to her, "Honey, if you have any problems, just tell me, okay?" yet he still refuses. "No thank you, mother. I can handle this all alone."
He convinces himself that he could solve his problems alone.
Argued with a friend yet preferred to let them win and forced himself to shut up
Accidental training to become an actor because he's so good at faking literally everything
He notices that he's being slowly to completely forgotten friend and teammate/member
He chose to play dumb to not receive negative feedback
The cycle repeats itself until reaching his breaking point
Though he's about to explode, he went on to the tree to cry there
Fear of getting noticed by cerissa, he immediately forced himself to stop crying and left the cliff
Lina who serves as his unpaid therapist yet is a high quality therapist he considers
The loop still continues and doesn't end
(An event where everyone in the hero hq is mandated to take the heroic test, if passed then they're qualified to be a pro-hero but if failed, they have to redo it, maybe only 3 attempts but after 3 attempts, their license will get revoked.)
(Somewhat, all of the members of the team passed except for jo, which led him to breaking down or making a suicide attempt.)
Critically in low moods that his performance in work and superhero-ing began to drop off
Here, endless crying and breakdowns, suicide attempts and questioning life although he could open up to lina
He's mad at his teammates for no reason meanwhile some were worrying about him
He withdrew himself from everyone and attempting to erase everyone's memories of him, thinking it'll ease his pain
You really can't imagine how depressed he was and still uses a happy facade to hide what he really feels, thinking that it's invalid
Cerissa checks up on jo but he says that he's completely fine although he's not
Okay but here goes the exciting part, cerissa had knew that jo has been hiding so many things from her, even lying to her about his feelings
He was completely aware that she knows everything yet is still persistent about hiding his feelings
He could tell his secrets but his feelings
He was traumatized for the rest of his life, making him a people-pleaser
He didn't notice that he had lost himself
Yet cerissa heard his cries and breakdowns no matter where he is, he just wanted him to trust her since they're very close
Learning about the bitter truth, jo immediately runs away from cerissa, thinking she'll hurt him (a nightmare of him being attacked by cerissa who turned monster)
[Comical depiction of:]
[Jo holding a wooden toy sword and trying to fight a very hungry monster cerissa with it but his cowardice took over so he wasn't able to defeat the evil monster and screams help from lina 👹]
Reaching his dead end, summoning his shield to protect himself (defense mechanism)
He's just even becoming more stupid at this point, cerissa managed to go through his shield
There she forces him to confide to her even if he doesn't want to, she's literally convincing him that she won't get mad at him
"Jo~ you better start confiding your problems to me now… before I get angry~"
"Jo, you know I don't find these such corny jokes of yours amusing."
"Jo, I'm gonna warn you, I'm not playing stupid games with you!"
"Just tell me the truth just once and I'll set you free and let you leave."
After his emotions were in a conflict, left him defeated, he finally began to open up, just little by little
Hesitant for a bit, but he finally gets the courage to tell her everything.
"I opened up how I hate the feeling of being left out."
"Instead of helping me, all you do is complain that I always take things negatively."
"Instead of reassuring that I'll be getting better friends, you lectured and blamed me."
"I thought you could help. I thought I could entrust my burdens to you."
"And I do hope you realize why I always have refused to open up to you."
"I hope you will finally understand why I always lie about how I feel."
"I can share anything with you, even my secrets, but my feelings. Never."
"Even though the loads inside my heart are getting heavier and heavier…"
"Even if I thought of opening up to you.."
"Instead, I was left no choice…"
"Now I resort to help myself all alone. I know you won't help."
"I may be devoted to you, I will always worship you. But I don't need you anymore because I have myself anyway."
(I wish I could depend on you because I wanted to show how faithful I am to you. I could even surrender myself and be weak for you. But you thought me how to be independent. Thank you though…)
(I wish… I wish… if only I could cry on your lap again, but I cried on Lina's pillow instead.)
"I swear… I really, really wanted to open up to you, I just wanted to be dependent on you because I know that you're just better than me, powerful above all… but sometimes, I just need to resort into relying on myself."
"Mother, I don't need your lectures. I don't need the blame you'll have to put on me. I don't need all the anger you threw on me and making me think I was the wrong person here."
"Mother, I know, I know I'm a very worthless friend…"
"Mother… I just hope… You'd understand and realize… how hard I've been trying just to earn their respect…"
"Mother… please. Just listen to me for once!"
Anticipating that Cerissa would misheard the tone as if it were dramatic but it turned out in such unexpected ways:
"Oh, why did you say all of these now?"
"… If I didn't force and convince you to say what you're feeling then it would be more heavier for you.."
"How come you managed to handle all your problems all by yourself…?" (Don't play dumb, if you know him so well then you could've helped him)
"Darling, Im sorry this all happened to you…"
"Why do you have to lie to me about these things?"
…
"Jo, I'm sorry for blaming it all to you."
"I know you're doing all of your best to be a better person and friend to them."
"And I appreciate your efforts you're doing so..." (I have no words… I'm impressed by how you were able to handle all the pain inside your heart…)
"The disrespect you're receiving… I'm not gonna let that slide."
"I'm not gonna let anyone do such things to you."
"Leave it to me honey."
"The amount of disrespect that you receive will be the same amount of punishment I'll give them."
"How could they do this to my precious little child?!"
Finally, after confiding, Cerissa was angered after learning about what happened to Jo. She provided him comfort and peace of mind, and carried his heavy burdens right away. Here the two hugged, Jo is finally okay.
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Alternate ending (Asian mom Cerissa)
"Oh, so you think you can rely on your own strength huh?"
"Are you trying to insult me by underestimating my power?"
"You're underestimating me as if…"
"As if you can ascend into a better god than me?"
"So? What are you gonna do? Worship another god?"
"Okay fine I'm not stopping you but let me warn you, they would never love you like i do."
"They will treat you like their servant because you're just a foreigner and not a local."
"You wont get special treatment from them like how I treat you."