Alchemy is hard.
"It's been three months, and you still haven't learned how to make a basic strength potion. Don't add that it'll explode."
"Listen, I had no experience with Alchemy before now, cut me some slack."
"You're a master enchanter and an adventurer of decent standing. This shouldn't be very difficult for you. All it is is adding three herbs and some mana to boiling water and stirring it. But you can't even tell the difference between dragon-root and griffin-root. It's hopeless!"
"They look the same!"
"No they don't, one has orange tips, the other has black."
"What?"
"Are you blind? How have you not seen this yet?"
"I have no idea! All I know is that both are magical."
"Wait… How did you know that they're magic?"
"I can see it. They're filled to the brim with mana."
Orange tips, black tips, what is Jenson on about?
"Why didn't you tell me this earlier! This changes your entire training regimen! Firstly, the mana will obscure the root tips us common alchemists use to tell them apart, but more importantly you should be able to tell most any magical ingredient apart by just the feel and look of their mana!"
… I haven't felt this dumb in ages.
"How can I tell them apart then?"
"Well… Dragon-root should have an amount of fire attribute mana in it, where Griffin-root should have an amount of air and earth attribute manas in it. Hence why one causes a violent explosion when combined with an activating agent and the other causes your strength to be generally enhanced."
How did I miss this? It's so obvious too. One has red looking mana, the other has golden. It's such a contrast that I should have figured out that these ingredients could never be the same.
"I haven't felt like this big of an idiot in years."
"Glad I could enlighten your poor soul then. Now, back to potion making."
In three months, he went and taught me the physical differences between hundreds, if not thousands, of ingredients, but not once did he think to describe their magical properties to me. Now I'm gonna have to learn all that again, and I doubt he'll even help me, considering we're continuing with making the potions. Why can't it just be like enchantment? So add the Griffin-root, making sure it's the right one, stir until mixed thoroughly, and pour into the separators. The final elixir should fill two bottles.
"Looking good kid. You've made your first potion. Whether it works or not is yet to be seen, but you did it right at least."
"It'll work."
"Oh? Then be my guest and take a good drink."
"Hopefully, this doesn't taste as bad as you said it would."
These bottles make a very satisfying glug when you drink from them. Good news is that I feel stronger, not much, but I didn't expect a massive boost.
"I think it's working. I feel a little stronger, like you said I should, and I haven't died yet."
"Who said the side effects of a bad strength potion include death?"
"Uh. What do they include then?"
"Nausea, muscle aches, joint pain, and chest pain."
Now that he mentions it… Ow. Yeah no this is bad.
"Yeah, they're starting to set in…"
"Here."
Another potion?
"Didn't you say mixing potions is a bad idea?"
"That's a nullifier for your strength potion, should negate the effects. Just drink it."
"Guess they make these, huh?"
Tastes like purple
"Oh, good, they're going away."
"Oh yeah, you might wanna go find something to eat."
"What? Why?"
"Side effect of nullifiers, they chew through your mana a bit, you'll be real hungry in five or so minutes."
"Why do you not tell me the side effects before you have me drink the potions?"
"It's more fun this way, and usually people are too preoccupied to complain. I see you are one of the stubborn headed ones."
God I'm starving, that potion is no joke.
"You win this time teach."
"When it comes to this, I win every time Greg."
Food. Need that. Yep. Where's the kitchen.
"Food…"
"Greg? What did you say?"
"Food."
"You want something to eat?"
Yes, thought it was obvious.
"Hm. Before that do you want a bath, or maybe-"
"Nope. Food."
"Didn't even let me finish. Rude!"
"Woof!"
"Yep. Food."
"What if I don't want to give you food? What will you do then-"
Shush woman. I know where you hide the chips.
"Hey! Those are mine! Watch where you step before-"
Oh, the world's turning sideways. Don't care, I have my chips. The floor is surprisingly comfortable today. And whatever that is, very squishy.
"Greg you idiot! At least ask first!"
"Woof, Woof. Dog Pile!"
Good Lils, pets for puppy.
"Greg! Hey, Greg!"
"Hm? Sorry, eating chips."
"Yeah I noticed, but if you don't mind, could you stop laying on me and groping Lils!"
"What? Oh, oops."
Up and at 'em, as they say.
"Idiot, get out of my kitchen!"
"Will do Ma'am, but what about more food?"
"You're still hungry?"
Yep.
"God you're hopeless. I'll make you a sandwich, but this time try not to get impatient and grab my boobs."
"I did what?"
"When you fell. You just grabbed and started playing with them, mumbling something about the ground being comfy."
"Meow!"
"Lils, you're not even a cat."
"I know, but I wanted to Meow!"
Lils is cute when she pouts. Oh wait, she's naked. Jacket.
"Master? Ah! No, don't! I don't want a jacket! They're not comfy, they're itchy and constricting!"
"If you don't like it that much, turn back into a dog."
"But if I do that Master will look at me less."
"But you'll get more pets."
"Deal! Woof!"
"For being so out of it, your reasoning seems relatively intact, at least where my chest isn't involved."
"Less talk more sandwich, that potion isn't getting any better."
"What potion?"
"Jenson gave me a potion to get rid of the side effects of my botched one. Makes me reeeeeeeaaaaly hungry though, so I'm gonna eat until that goes away."
"You're both idiots, but at least that one doesn't harass me and Lils!"
"You don't mean that."
"Yes I do!"
This is gonna go on for a while. She's kinda cute when she gets defensive like this.