Chapter twenty-two
Inside the recesses of Suzuka's mind on the same day:
Life for me has been… Uneventful. Inside this mind of ours, I've been able to live comfortably and without stress. I mean, why would I be? Since I've been reincarnated, I've only had to watch as this person who was like me yet not me grow up. It's almost like having raised a child without providing any of the actual support to help them develop. Or to put it another way; it's like having that child find your journal with all your thoughts and having them develop parallels where there aren't any.
I feel guilty almost. It's why I've deflected her seeking of advice with 'you must live your own life' or whatever. I don't want to be the one responsible for the decisions she makes, even potentially through our now shared memories. Like the day where she had questioned why she made weapons despite not having any need for or previous experience with them. I can only assume, but that was likely as a result of my own memories of when I wrote stories in my past life. I used to really engage with the mindset of the characters in my own writer's form of method acting. I'd end up studying tirelessly about the lives of people who I treated as muses for my artistic exploitation just so I could capture the raw emotions for the part or scene.
In itself, this is no bad thing, but when those emotions go unchecked into a youth like this reincarnated self of mine I begin to worry that they'll unsettle them from what would otherwise be a peaceful path. This is to say nothing about my true emotions being influential as well, but at least those I can control to a degree since I've never been too emotive inside of myself. Feelings of love or hate were as a breeze of wind for me. The best example of this would probably be how it seemed that my own creations came to my reality to exact revenge on me.
I figure that any other person would be appalled or wish a hellish vengeance on them, but I don't feel such things. If anything, I actually accepted that I deserved that for creating worlds that were unbearable and hellish for them to inhabit. They didn't even have the luxury of their world being poorly defined as I spent extra effort in providing every visceral detail. It must've been terrible.
While I can accept that, I wonder how my new self will react when those particular memories get assimilated in full.
The one who is me yet not.
The one who feels a greater range of emotions than I could in my own life.
Whoa. I got all serious there for a second. I apologize, me!
Hey man, no worries it do be like that sometimes after all!
Right right, well as I've started to talk to myself inside of my selves head let me change the subject!
I've honestly been getting bored with the whole let's learn about whatever training arc. I mean, we've spent the better part of four years studying the Fairy language. Yeah. Just the language. We know nothing about the history of their great scholars and poets. Nothing about their inventions or contributions to the world. Nothing. I mean I know it was difficult by watching through our eyes as the countless nights of grueling studying; I also know that I just got all that info as a result of her hard effort, but still, I can't help but complain about it! Thankfully that has been changing though.
This recent arc with Mana and the subsequent training of said Mana has been a great watch. Of course, I know exactly how all this stuff works since this aspect is eerily similar to one of the books I wrote in my past life, but I'm not gonna just share that knowledge and ruin the experience for the both of us! She'll just have to hope that it's something that gets assimilated earlier rather than later. After all, it'd be no fun if someone just handed you the answers to life on a silver platter. More than that, it'd promote this sense of unearned genius or superiority that could potentially cause problems for her in the future.
Even more interesting lately has been this introduction of these Demi-human children. On top of their names being particularly odd, they've been pretty fortunate, haven't they. It just so happens that the stupid yellow rock boy went off and saved them. And again it just so happens that they get spared from what would be a one-way ticket to heaven or whatever they believe in just because that beautiful stacked rock woman(now at least) decided she wanted to find some more relatable folks for ourself. The feelings of longing that had been casually resting inside of my selves heart had somehow been answered.
Makes sense really. A little horned girl who looks like a demon from beyond the wherever gets the cold shoulder from people and only is tolerated as her patron is the most powerful Mage. It's no wonder that she'd long for a sense of love and companionship from people who weren't made of rocks. Yeah, rocks. They're just rocks and 'nature energy' or whatever that is. I don't remember writing about that but for some reason, I know as a matter of fact that they're foreign creatures. I'm getting off my point though so let me realign.
Anyone else in her situation would feel strange about it as well given that they're surrounded by creatures that on a fundamental level do not understand you. It's why I think that the sexy purple rock woman gave that winged girl that rune. I'm beyond sure that she has the capability to heal the girl herself, but I think she felt uncomfortable with working on biology that was something that at the least she was unfamiliar with.
Well, whatever. Seems like the continuation of this current arc is about to begin. Looks like the silver apprentice in the sundress and the stupid yellow one have arrived.
In reality moments later:
"Now go and apologize right now!"
Isaea had dragged poor Gydion by his ear through the door, tossing him onto the ground. You could practically see the steam coming from her. Gydion held his wounded ear with one hand and crawled away with his other. He got onto his feet and walked over and up to me in total silence, earning the stares of all present. He began to whisper to me.
"Listen. I'm only apologizing because Isaea is making me. You've got to get in line. You can't just do whatever you want."
I rubbed my eyes with my thumb knuckles and smiled at him. Apologizing for my behavior.
"I'm sorry that you got in trouble because of me, Gydion. I'll do better about it."
"As long as you do it'll be fine."
Like a wounded dog, he walked off into our shared room. I really did feel bad. I wasn't saying that just to appease him. I walked down the steps and met up with Isaea. She leaned in and gave me a Giga size hug, pressing my face into her supple bosom. It was as pleasant as ever.
"Hello, my favorite smol! I've heard that you've started your mana training in earnest!"
I spoke whilst still in her comfy embrace, muffling my words slightly.
"I have. We've been doing the training for two days. The first day was pretty fun as I got the chance to play around with a lot of magic but the second day was hell. I had to run and dodge a clone of Grandma as she chased me down with various offensive spells."
Isaea's eyes glazed over as thoughts of her training trickled into her mind. She began to gently pat me on the back, though still not letting me go.
"It gets better." She said in a tone that did not sound as though she believed her spoken words.
"Can you let me go please?" I asked her. It was fine and dandy to be in my current position but it was a bit hard to breathe and I felt the eyes of the others on my back. She let me go with a kiss on the forehead. I had remembered that she had actually come to the mountainous area but in my haste I didn't ask why. I figure now would be as good a time as any other.
"Hey, Isaea? What were you doing in the training region?"
With a completely serene face that did not match the words spoken out of her mouth, she replied
"Oh well, Master informed me that there seemed to be a little human infestation so she dispatched me to take care of them and any others I deemed worthy of cleaning out."
Isaea's spoken word sent a jolt of realized terror at what she had meant. It served to remind me that I was in the presence of creatures that had no equal value for life, which for some reason I found to be horrifying. Maybe this was as a result of my past lives feelings or emotions on things like death, but I could never be sure. It was good that she had spoken in the language of the fairies for I fear that the others would have grown frightened from the contents of the sentence. Good thing that only Kalinna and Kannan were even within earshot of this conversation.
"O-Oh. Right. Did you uh... already do that? U-Um… Yeah."
"Well, I was on the way to do that when I saw Gydion being terrible. Since I know you're fine I can go back to my task in peace."
I took a double-take on her appearance and thought about her stated goal once again. She looked dressed for a summer picnic, not an evening out for man-slaying. I won't question it though. Isaea has always enjoyed her aesthetics and If she is half as strong as Grandma then she could probably do the deed in attire as casual as that.
"Okay. Well um. See you later." I said awkwardly. It probably showed on my face just how uncomfortable I was about the idea. She smiled at me all the same, waving as she turned around and exited the Study.
What to do now? Well, maybe I could help Gydion fix up his portion of the room. I could also eat. As I mulled over my options my eyes naturally drifted down to my clothing. A light went off in my head.
"I'll go ahead and get changed into my own clothing!"
With that in mind, I turned on my heel and made for my room.
I passed through the Study without incident and opened my door, peaking into my room. Kannaya was shamelessly rummaging through my clothes while Gydion was putting together the frame for a bed. I stepped in and walked over to confront Kannaya.
"What. Are. You-"
"You're a lot more girly than I thought you'd be with those horns. All these dresses and skirts."
Most of those are things Isaea gave me though.
"Maybe you're actually a really softhearted girl at heart?"
What does that even mean?
"Regardless, I really like your taste. Say, do you actually like to dress up?"
Before I could offer a response she pulled me behind one of the screens, holding out a yukata plus sash in one hand and a Lolita style dress with a purple main tone and black frills.
"I totally wanna see some of these on you!"
I could see in her eyes the swirls of someone who had found a new toy.
These next few hours are gonna be hell...