Luis woke up alone, and felt like dying again was the only option left in his new short life. Everything hurts. His back, his legs, his arms, on. Fire.
He groaned and rolled over, pulling the blankets over his head, a cheap substitute for actual death. Maybe if he slept his days away he could avoid confronting his new...h-husband about the fact they had sex on the first meeting.
Resisting the urge to weep, he popped his head out from under the blankets, and spotted Thana in the doorway. High blue blush back on his cheeks, he hid again, praying for any other god to just kill him now.
"Aww, is my husband embarrassed? Afraid you came too quickly? Or is it a human thing again? If it's the former, then don't worry, Love, you were perfect." Thana made his way over to the lump on the bed, patting where Luis' head should be.
Luis peeked out to glare, "Sadist." Thana snorted, "Please, we won't touch on that until the fifth date." He shouldn't have said anything, he thought miserably. His first impression? Thana had been offstandish, now however?
Thana leaned down to peck at his cheek.
Shameless, utterly, deplorably shameless. Not an ounce of proprietary to be had.
"You're my husband, of course I'm going to be shameless with you." He hit Thana with one of the head pillows. "Will you stop that! Leave my thoughts be!" Thana pouted, keeling down to snuggle against his knee.
"But husband, this one simply wishes to know his human lover better, especially since he is too shy to say what he wants." "That is the point!" He huffed, "I do not have to speak everything at once, if what you're saying is true, and I am your vassal and husband, then surely we have plenty of time to get to know each other slowly!"
Thana looked off to the side with a smirk on his face, "Very well, you have a good point." Thana stood back up, "But that's not why I'm here, I was tempted to let you sleep in more, but alas, duty calls for both you and me."
He gestured widely to the marbles at his feet, glowing white and rolling around frantically. "These souls have been pestering me all day! Your poor husband is exhausted from trying not to step on all the little busybodies!"
Luis stared unimpressed at the man who bootleg married him in a single night, the proclaimed 'one of the twelve avatars of death'. "But, it's literally your job?" Thana scoffed, flicking a marble that got to close with his big toe. It comically shot off towards the opposite wall, clanging pitfully. He rolled around slowly now, keeping well away from Thana.
"Don't be so mean, you're my husband, you agreed! So now you must share my work with me, as per our agreement of me making you my immortal equal."
"So you're just lazy." That was definitely the wrong thing to say, Thana perked up, "Oh! Back to sassy, I like it. Come on, bite me more!" Luis shoved him away in disgust, "Fine! Fine, how do I do this?"
Thana scooped up one of the more quicker marbles, and held it in his palm. "None of them are strong enough to be given the choice between vasselhood and reincarnation, none of them are in a humanoid form, and anyways, I'll be dealing with all of those, so no need to worry. All you need to do is crush it."
He stood horrified as Thana did just that, simply crushing the marble, the white fog inside dispersing like mist. "Oh relax Love, as a vassal of death, crushing it would be the same as freeing a butterfly from a bottle. If it were anyone else, then yes, the soul would be destroyed, but so long as you are responsible, even stepping on them will set them free, as long as it is your own feet."
He walked over and grabbed the poor soul that his..husband kicked earlier, and with slight pressure, crushed the ice-like shell of the marble, and the mist of the soul dispersed without a hitch.
"So no judging? No heaven and hell casting?" Thana shook his head, "Oh heavens above no, no one has the right to take the right of reincarnation away, good or evil, every soul is wiped clean to start anew by our hands, such is the way. Unless through the spirits' will, they should pass on to the next life with little fanfare."
He mused on all the religions his own past life constantly saw people fight over, "So I suppose the concept of religion is moot then?" "That depends on the dimension. In my dimension, there is no such thing as a heaven or hell or a right or bad side, but in others, there might be, but I wouldn't know, I never paid attention to the finer details of other people's jobs."
Luis busied himself with crushing all the marbles, heedless of his nudity. "So no gods either?" "Oh yes, there are gods and the heavens, a whole pantheon, but I ignore them, they're always in everyone's business, never letting us do our jobs without drama. I haven't been in contact with my own parent god in six millenia."
Thana laughed like it was a joke, and maybe to him it was, like ignoring your parents when they tell you to clean your room.
"As fun as this is." He cut off his sentence, grunting as he chased a marble under the bed, Thana being no help, much more content to pet at the bruises on his cheeks. "Is this all you do?" Thana shrugged, unnoticed by Luis, who still had his head stuck under the bed. "To come down to it? Yes. My job would be very simple if I hadn't incorporated myself into my dimension. I got such a scolding for it, but my siblings just don't understand how fun it is to stir the pot."
Luis rolled his eyes and kicked at Thana's legs, "Back off or help you perverted monkey!" Thana flopped onto the bed above him, "Hmm, no. I'm on vacation. Husband, listen, before you had come along I'd have to chase them all day, my feet are so sore! Won't you give me a foot rub?"
Luis finally caught the marble, he crushed it, and then pulled Thana off the bed, the larger man let him, wailing like he'd actually been hurt by the soft carpet covering the cold marble floors.
"Enough, I've got them all, for now I presume. Can I please have a robe?"
Thana pouted across from him on a balcony overviewing the garden of what was a very large, very gloomy castle. They sat on gothic looking chairs, candles waxing all over the table in great dallops. He finally had clothes, old eastern in style, matching in deep purple with his husband.
"Are you sure you don't want to be nude a bit longer? Our kind don't actually use clothes all that much, no one will laugh at you." He tapped his still bare feet, the one compromise he'd made with the constantly thirsty Thana. "No, it's a different matter when it's my dignity on the line, knowing there's a possibility you're into voyeurism."
Thana tilted his head, "You humans have such strange terms, what is 'voyeurism'?" Luis blushed hotly, closing his eyes and tilting his head back towards the garden, if he couldn't see him, he wasn't there. "Never mind, forget it, permanently preferably."
"Hmm, I'll find out later, now to the real matter then." Luis looked back at Thana, blush receding. He absentmindedly crushed the marble under his foot that had winked into existence. The mist kissed at his heels, warm like the steam from a shower.
Thana bit his lip, looking at his feet. Was he really so-! "Hey!" Luis snapped his fingers, "Back to the matter of question please?" Thana cleared his throat, "Yes, as I was saying, Seeing as how you're my vassal, taking my place indefinitely, you'll undoubtedly have to venture into this world to get a feel for it, and complete my many obligatory duties for me in my absence."
He nodded, easily agreeing. "Very well, you'll leave here in a week, just enough time for me to familiarize you with the laws here. When you leave, you'll be given a map, a horse, many rations, a weapon of your choosing, and whatever else you'll need on your journey."
So like the start of an open world video game. He'd play many, surely the logic couldn't be that different in real life. "Alright then, so starting right now. Teach me."
Thana stood up, making his way around the table to kneel at his feet. "Oh my love, I'd thought you'd never voice the thought."