The feeling of dominance and superiority were filling my whole body and mind with a non-existing power. I didn't know what I was doing, I was caught up in the moment and couldn't think straight anymore. I had mixed feeling about the kiss and some parts of me didn't make it easy either. My mind was saying to do it, my heart was thrilled and begging me to stop and my body was shaking from the dilemma.
[Wow, damn child. And here I was thinking why was your adrenaline getting higher by the minute, and came to see what was happening, but I didn't know that you were having so much fun.]
'What do you mean FUN, I am struggling to keep my cool here.'
[Are you though? You are on top of him and judging by your heartbeat, heavy breathing and what do people call it? Oh yes, butterflies in the stomach, I can say that you are enjoying this, and so is he.]
'Huh, you think? Flushed face, trembling lips, unable to talk, and avoiding eye contact. He is obviously in a stage of shock. As he should, so it's understandable.'
[Haha! Child, you are not seeing where I am seeing, so of course you wouldn't understand. His whole face screams "I want to eat you up".]
'What?!'
"Raelian! Don't move."
He is right, his eyes are glossy… w-w-what have I done? I really wanted to dig a hole and jump head first from the embarrassment. What did I think was going to happen? That feeling…I cannot take it off my mind even if I wanted to, what was I thinking? I kissed him, he was blushing and felt satisfied afterward because I proved my point. But I didn't expect that he would be turned on by it.
"Rai-… do you really mean it?"
That name, it's been so long since I last heard someone call me like that. It's strange, this reminds me so much of his words.
'Rai, I will come back soon!'
I smiled lightly and nodded in agreement. Even if I couldn't comprehend that feeling, I need him alive and to fully trust me for my plan to work. He was surprised, but also his face brighten up so innocently that melted my heart.
'C-cute! What did I do for him to be this happy? I really don't get him.'
[Did he actually tame you with just one smile? I get it, he is a handsome guy, but if you cry and break down as the last time, I am literary going to kill you. Huh child, are you listening to me right now? Child?]
I could hear Raphael's voice fading away while I sank deep into those purple eyes. That same pain, as a knife stuck in my chest was starting to spread all over my body, which made me feel so numb and dizzy that I thought I was under a hypnotize.
Needless to say, my body was starting to have a mind of its own, and I was on my right mind because after all, I could clearly see him placing his hand on my cheek and coming closer to me. I felt tingly all over my body while his lips touched mine again. They were so warm and soft, he parted mine slightly, allowing his tongue to slip inside. Even though I thought that this was just the beginning, I desperately needed to breathe.
"Raeliana, you will never leave me again, right?"
"Yes, I won't."
"And you will be with me no matter what?"
"Yes, I will."
What am I even saying? I don't know anymore, but I am fine with everything if it means that I will get what I want in the end. He was looking at me in disbelief but faded away quickly leaving behind a radiant smile.
'I don't know if I should be uneasy or concerned, but I think that it is extremely pleasant and lovable.'
He hugged me tightly, putting his head on my shoulder and giggling like a child. Unfortunately, I could reciprocate the way I wanted to, he was making me feel guilty. He seemed desperate and was practically begging me to answer his question the way I did, or was I imagining things? …sigh, I can't with this, the pain is getting stronger I think I am actually having a seizure.
"Your highness, I am going to be honest with you. I know about your engagement with princess Adelaide and I am well aware that my proposal will cause problems for you and this kingdom. I am well aware that war is also a possibility."
"You mean the princess of Iphoria? Hahaha, she is just an attention-sicker that doesn't know what I look like and still presses her family to continue with this facade. Don't trouble yourself with these thoughts Raeliana, I stopped negotiating things from the get-go and now I am in peace. You are going to be my only wife and even if she causes problems I am not going to be this kind and let her do as she pleases."
He is talking like that is so easy as shooting fish in a barrel. He might be right though, Alastair has that kind of impact on those who dream big, and maybe this is also his way to put me under his influence.
But being the first prince's wife is a lot of work and nerve-wracking for me. It will be difficult to achieve my freedom peacefully, and is going to be a bloody process, but who said that I was going to go out without a fight? The real question is, what does he win from this?
"I am happy to hear that, but however, does your highness needs the power I have to offer?"
He stopped hugging me and looked right into my eyes with a sad face. He came closer until our foreheads were pressed together and sighed lightly.
"I don't need it. I want you, I want to see you smile. I can do anything on my own so you don't have to, just for you to be mine. I can eliminate the princess of Iphoria if you want to, I can wipe all the Corttes territory off the face of the earth if you told me to, and I can kill everyone who comes in your way if that makes you feel better."
I can feel my blood running cold every time he says what he is capable to do. To what length this man can go for me without thinking about anything else? And why did he also put Corttes into this?
"Tell me, Raeliana! Tell me what you want and I will do it."
I can't, I really can't do it! This is wrong in so many ways. It's me who has her hands covered in blood, I am the monster that everyone should be scared off. I am the Rapha, no one can take that from me. If he can do it, let him do it, but I am not going to encourage him to take my place. If I do that it is the same as denying a part of me, denying the pain I had to go through in that hell, and denying the reason that I am doing all of this.
"Your highness, I am afraid to be that person who crushes your dreams, but I don't want anything from you."
"But Raelian, you won't be safe that way."
"No one is safe your highness, especially us. Our life is so meaningless that they gave us this power only to get rid of it or control us for their own benefit. Your eyes channel your power which can put pressure on someone's body and eat it from within, and your family benefits from that to rule this kingdom without fearing regicide. While mine gives me immense strength that can crush a human's skull easily as crushing a dry leaf, and that goes and goes into insanity where there is no longer life, it remains only the lust for blood that never goes away, and it will always awake itself over and over again. Everyone wants this power, they are eager to have a killing machine in their arsenal, so how can I be safe like this?"
I said what I had to say, but this seems bizarre to me, he doesn't look surprised or scared, rather than that, he listened to me calmly with a concerned look on his face.
"You are safe now. I am here!"
Haha! Sigh. That doesn't work this way, nonetheless, let's believe that for now, I have nothing to lose anyway. And still, this feels comforting somehow.
*Knock*…*knock*…*knock*
"Ahem, I am sorry to interrupt, but lady Raeliana has to take her medicine at this hour."
Gahh, this idiot with his bad timing almost gave me a heart attack. And what makes it worse the heartbeat is making the pain in my chest more unbearable. No wait…this is more important right now. This position is difficult to explain. I am on Alastair's lap, he is holding my waist, keeping my body inside his arms and Spencer is in front of us standing at the door. God, I thought that was locked, how long has he been there?
"And who might you be?"
"My name is Spencer Melbruc, your highness. I am the assistant butler of this mansion and a trusted servant of the lady over there. I am here to check on the lady's condition and deliver her the medicine."
Ugh, I can feel the tension between the two of them. Judging by Alastair's snotty tone and faction expression he is clearly annoyed and doesn't appreciate Spencer's "rudeness" for butting in, and after hearing his reply I can see the vein on his neck popping out.
'Oh no, he is furious! Now that I remember, he heard me talk about Spencer a while ago and he didn't take it well even though we just met. He asked me who he was, but I didn't want to get much into detail, which was for the best since Spencer is still safe and sound with me. I guess he is a kind of possessive person. And I still need to find the reason for his "love" for me, not like it's going to affect anything.'
"Your highness, I suggest it would be better if you put the young lady down and covered her up with a blanket. She is still sick and needs time to recover, moreover, it is winter and the room temperature is not good for her weak condition."
"Oh, that's not a problem that can't be solved."
'What is he doing now? Oh, he is looking at the way I am dressed. I am in my pajamas, which is a little thin silky dress and not practical for winter. I am fine if it is wearable and not seethrough, but I can't tell the difference between normal and cold temperature, therefore I never tried to change it.'
He took off his jacket and threw it over my shoulders, zipped it up, and turned to Spencer with a proud grin on his face. Spencer, on the other hand, was his usual safe, but I could see his left eye twitching the same as the times I try to get on his nerve. He will do something, I expect it to happen.
Ugh, I just want to get out of this situation! If I am here, I can keep Alastair occupied until Spencer gets out of the room, but he is stubborn as hell. Let me just bury my face in his shoulder and hope that everything will end without bloodshed from my side.
It is strange, I feel so comfy like this. That horrible pain is slowly fading away. Sigh! Since he is not complaining, and this is also keeping him away from Spencer, I should probably stay like this for the time being.
"That's not the right thing to do your highness. With all due respect, the more time you spent here, the worse the lady's image will get."
"Hmm. Should I take this as a compliment or are you badmouthing me? Either way, she is my fiancé, and if someone tries to run their mouth, they should think twice or keep it shut. You are her servant, right? It is not professional to butt in your employer's business like it's your duty to do s-…"
Raeliana!!! There is no way, this can't be.
"Your highness, is there a problem? You look rather…pale."
It is the same as before. My heartbeat keeps going faster and faster like it is on a timer. I know this feeling in every cell of my body, it's the inner me screaming so desperately to go somewhere before THAT happens again. But she is here in my arms, I don't understand, I have her right in front of my eyes…?! No. How?
"?! Your Highness, you are bleeding from your mouth. We have to call a doctor right now."
"No. Raeliana, Raeliana, Raeliana… RAI! Please answer me, please, you can't die like this."
She has no pulse, I can't hear her heart either. How did I not feel all this blood coming from her? No, let's not panic, how much did she lose? Four, no five percent, I can't tell. She is ice cold, she is not breathing. The bleeding is not stopping even though she has her mouth closed. If this keeps going she is will have a hypovolemic shock or her organ will be damaged.
"I can't sit still and see you like this. Rai, you will come with me and…"
Wait am I actually having a stroke right now, or my eyes are just not working properly? It can't be possible that she vanished right in front of me when I was here holding her in my arms.
[Well well well, what do we have here?]