No one is going to give me a quick solution without wanting something in return, this is going to get me free, but at what cost? I am not going to take such a risk on my own even when I got nothing to lose but my sanity as a human, or when I used to be one at least.
"How did you find out about that? You know about her and now you want to take it back from me! Raphael told you, did he? He is siding with you again, throwing us away like nothing…tell me where is he! Where is he hiding?"
"Ou…calm down lady, my head is not your playground and I am not here to solve your problems! I had enough of you and your high-pitch voice, you irritate me so much that I feel bad for Raphael already. Do you want to know why he treats you like trash? It is simply annoying to hear you. And as I told you already, get out of my head, we have nothing more to talk about."
I don't understand how this lady got the nerve to ask me so many questions right after telling me to reach my full potential, basically encouraging me to take the lives of all the students here. But how does she know Raphael? He is a living thing, but not a person, and if he had to side with someone that's going to be himself. But if she knows him, that means he is or was once a person with a life and a family. I don't want to get too deep into this, because is not my business, and asking for more will force me to put up with this person for longer and I don't have that much time on my hands.
"I get it, dear! You don't trust me enough to believe what I am telling you is the right thing to do. I am disappointed, but not surprised since I know how handful you can get at times like this. I am not going to pressure you to continue, not yet."
"Ugh! Don't you have nothing better to do with your life than continuing to irritate me? But you seem to believe that you know me or at least try to make me think that you do. You don't know anything about me like I don't know anything about you. We are in the same position here, but unlike you, I am trying to end this conversation for good."
"Hohoho…I know more than you think dear, the problem lies with you. I don't want you to go to waste, not before you find out that what you know and what you have to remember are two different things, and the more you dig into your memories the better it is for everyone. Now you won't consider my help, but one day this is going to be your only choice. I am going to leave for now and you can rest assured that I won't come again, but when that time comes and you find out who I am, that's going to be the moment when you lose everything you hold dear, even yourself. So better watch out and then come to meet me! Goodbye dear, until we see each other again!"
Sigh! What a headache! Finally, it is over, she left! She really is the kind of person who wants to say the last word hah! But however, what she said about knowing and remembering took me off guard. I remember my childhood here, everything has repeatedly come to me as a vivid nightmare, I have felt those memories on an extreme level like I was there taking all that pain, that has scared me for life. Therefore, even if I try to leave that part of my memory behind my back and forget, it will need just a simple act, a single person to awaken what is hidden inside my mind. It is that easy to recall what's engraved in someone's mind, but it is not that easy to get and lock it back inside.
"What I have to remember, what do I know?"
I know everything I need and remember everything that is worth remembering, so whatever she meant by it, I do not understand how to find her inside them. Not in my past memories, not even in this body's memories, no one comes to my mind.
Taking to her exhausted me, I might have to sit and calm my thoughts for a while. Sight, that was like I was talking to a thick wall, she didn't want to leave. I don't know who she was, but I get some kind of feeling when she changes her voice into a sweet tone. It takes me back to my past, my mothers putting me to sleep with her soothing voice, and caressing my hair every time I got sick!
All of it remains me of childish joy, hope, excitement, innocence, love…l-l-love…there was no more to receive after mother's death! My Father was never there, I had to take care of myself until I entered university. I had to return to the same empty house every time I finished school, with no one to welcome me. That lifestyle was awful in its own way, but I don't regret living that life. I found my way out of there and embrace the feeling of loving someone rather than my own and created my happy place for the three of us. All of it turned into dust when he left…and…and what happened after that?
"Why do I only remember what he said before he left and nothing more? How much did I live after that and how did I die?"
I never thought of this before! I was so shocked when I opened my eyes and the first thing I saw was a dead body close to me, my hand covered in his blood, children crying and trembling in fear after seeing me and my life flashing before my eyes. I never had time to think about how I came here and how my previous life ended, I only continued what the former owner of this boy started.
'Is this what I have to remember? Is she connected this my death?'
I know I am not the only one who has been reincarnated here, it might be dozens of them out there, and maybe she is one of those who still have their old memories. But if I find out who she is, I might lose something precious along the way. I am not sure how that part of my past will come to me, it has been so many years since I started my new life and it might come spontaneously as all of them do.
"Haha, I am lucky because now I don't hold anything dear to me, even my life is not precious at this point."
"Don't say that! Your life is the first thing you should prioritize, we can't just get mad at it and then throw it away, it does not work like that."
Huh?! Hold on, I recognize that voice. Noo… damn it, how did he find me here?
"Sigh! You always ask for trouble, do you? I am sorry for eavesdropping young lady, but my friend here doesn't know how to behave!"
"I don't care about that Tristan, I heard her say that her life is meaningless, how am I supposed to react otherwise?"
"Have you ever thought about minding your own business? Don't forget that this got you into trouble you cannot get out of, because you didn't think before acting and now everyone is laughing at you."
"Tristan, you were there too, you saw I was cornered and how would I have possibly known that he will put the blame on me? He is a coward for that and I will show it to everyone the day when the duel ends that no one, even the son of the emperor can't make fun of a member of the Akriste family."
"Don't tell me you are going to use your family inheritance against his highness? You idiot, do you think that they will lend it to you just like that? If you use it and something goes wrong, that will put shame on your whole family for fighting with a forbidden item, Alan."
This is not about me anymore, or is it? I should have gone to the carriage first and then taken a rest like a normal person would in the comfort of their house, so why did I think that sitting here for a while would have been a good idea? And now I am just staring blankly at these two boys, arguing with each like little girls and I guess that they forgot I am still here listening.
Ha-haha…it is strange! How they talk so freely and without caring about someone hearing them. If I followed that lady's words, they would have been gone by now and everything here would have ended in disaster. I wonder if they know what was I about to do, what will they think? I might as well attack them now that they are distracted and have their guard down, but where would be the difference between then and now?
I will end up regretting it later and their lives will go in vain. Moreover, both of them will be part of the king's order in the future and I don't have any reason to change their path to this extent. Tristan Belgar is calm and seems like someone down to earth compared to his twin sister, which I would rather not encounter for obvious reasons. While this other guy, Alan speaks about pride and honor that most of the time I don't want to listen to what he has said, but one thing caught my attention. What was that family inheritance that they were talking about, and is that a secret weapon that is going to decide the winner of the duel? Hmm…interesting, but I feel like something is poking me!
"Angel…Raeliana! Can you hear me?"
"Stop touching her, that's rude. Alan!"
"Shhh, lower your voice, Tristan! What if she is sleeping? You will wake her up."
That's what it was, but I was not sleeping in the first place. I couldn't get up while they were talking, it would have been awkward, so I just closed my eyes because of the headache. He is still poking my shoulder like I am dead or something and the other guy is telling him to stop. And what is with the angel thing?
"I guess the lady got tired of hearing you complain and fell asleep, Alan. Oh well, she would probably wake up with a cold. I can't believe someone would fall asleep here when is frizzing at this hour."
"Wait…you are right! We have to get her inside and cover her with some blankets until she wakes up."
"Alan, did you forget that the academy is getting closed for the day? And where are you going to take her, at the dormitory or cafeteria?"
"I don't know, but-"
"Stop, where ever you are thinking don't do it! Alan, I understand what you are trying to do, but first, start thinking about the other person and what their reaction will be when someone takes them to an unknown place, although they may be with the right motives, she doesn't know you."
Wow, I don't know what to say, except that I am impressed by Tristan's words. He is not hasty and I think that these two balance each other with their opposite characters. This two, they have so much work to do before they reach adulthood, but if they stay together I guess it will be fine!
I think that my so-called sleep is better to end he…huh?! Why my cheeks are getting warm all of a sudden, no way! I opened my eyes because I was surprised, but I didn't expect that he would be so close to me, putting his bare hands on my face. I have no idea what is running through his head and who gave him permission to do this, but why is he looking at me like that, is he happy?
"Raeliana, you are awake!"