Still, it is kind of strange that I don't feel any kind of grudge or anger toward him now. I just feel ... empty! As if I am neither on earth nor in haven.
When I was in my room, I always had those thoughts of burning someone alive for what they did, but as time passed my mind become clearer. His reason…that is what scares me! I know at least that he is not someone who can talk freely and explain the meaning of his actions, since even when I asked him seriously, he turned it into something else. I am afraid that he must have been using me for one of his plans. I don't like it!
"It looks like you are busy. I bought you some tea and dessert since you skipped dinner!"
Dinner?! It is really that late? I must have forgotten about time while thinking about all that had happened.
"Thank you, Spencer! I was thinking so hard about a proper way how to not accept an invitation, but most of my ideas failed so I had to rewrite them again. Now that I think about it, why don't you teach me how to do it without sounding rude."
"I can do that, but first you have to eat! You can't work efficiently if an empty stomach, and by the look of it, your mind is at his last brain cell."
What, is he serious? Why does he look so angry? The time has come for him to tell me his thoughts about this situation. I expected this day, but… oh god, no I am not prepared!
"The collar…you are wearing it! Why?"
"Th-the collar?! Oh, you mean the collar I had when I was a slave. Yeah, I wrote it to hide my neck. But it is strange, only you noticed it! Mireya and his grace didn't seem to care when I went to eat this morning."
"That's because your hair blends with it pretty well. But why didn't you throw it? It is dangerous to keep it here where everyone has a chance to take it."
"Haha, you are joking, right? Who would dare to do that?"
Maybe I am more attached to this collar than I thought, that it is a part of my past that I just can't erase from my memories and I can't hide it either. But in this case, I could not find anything to properly hide the hickeys in my wardrobe, and it is partly my fault since I tore some of the dresses and clothes that I found similar in color and design to my suit of that day. And of course, this is also one of my proof.
"Spencer, can I trust you with something important? It has bothered me for quite a long time, but I can't find any connection outside the mansion that could help me with what I need. You are a person that has a way with words, so it is much easier for you to collect pieces of information than me."
"…I see no use for you to trust me, but if you have made up your mind, I will listen to your reason, and then I might consider it."
"Fine by me, as long as you really are going to consider it! …Long before I met Nasya there was a boy, a commoner that helped me find my way out of a difficult situation. His appearance is pretty recognizable since his hair is bright red and has pale skin. He is quite childish, so you might as well find him in a middle of a fight with someone over a coin."
"So, you want information about this boy? May I ask why?"
"…You can, but that's not the issue here. I once made a promise to someone that I would take care of him, but something came up and I couldn't keep it…and I also need to ask him something…something that has been troubling me for years!"
'She seems to care a lot about this promise, but finding someone is not easy as it seems to be. I guess it is worth a try since I pretty much don't have anything on my hands right now.'
"If it is so important to you, I might as well look into this matter if I got the time, anything else?"
"W-well…about that! His name is Miko, try not to forget the name. A-And since you are going to search for him anyway, why don't you look up for this collar as well? From the village I met that boy, someone recognized this collar. From looking at it, you can see that it is quite expensive for a slave to have, so I am sure that the person who runs the slave market and the one who put this on me, is a noble of prestige. I don't know if there is a group of nobles that collect slaves for manual labor and mostly children since they are marketable assets, so this might help to find a lead."
"You mean, you want to know more about…wait, Raeliana that's impossible even for me. No connection in the world can tell me something about this. You better forget it or try to find a more relatable source of information."
'Did he just call me…by my name? Weird, he never used other names rather than lady, Rapha or just nothing at all. Maybe my request took him by surprise, or he understood where I was going with this.'
"Spencer, I told you that I can't trust anyone but you with this task. Moreover, if other people are involved, the word will get out easily and if they don't know yet about my origin, their curiosity and greed will push them to delve into my past to find some dirt on me. So why should I give them the satisfaction of knowing it?"
"…I understand that you are worried about that, but don't forget about one thing. Young lady Nasya knows that you are a slave, including the fact that you were her slave. And the young duke Akriste seems to have seen you as well. So what about their word? You can't silence them as you please!"
Alan haa! His word is irrelevant to me compared to Nasya's! I don't know where and how he saw me, but that witch knows everything and if she opens her mouth, is all over. But I am sure that she is going to play dumb for the time being. She can't just say that I was a slave and they kept me in their mansion as a weapon. She doesn't have proof and neither do I. But even so, that will certainly capture the curiosity of some and her family image would be ruined as per why they kept a rapha there and not to mention, the documents that Spencer found in Vinter studio. He is hiding those documents so well, under the imperial nouse without raising any suspicions and if his daughter knows about them, which I am pretty sure she does since she was reincarnated just like me, Nasya is going to keep her mouth shut and play her game in shadows. Calculating her every move and waiting for the perfect moment to strike.
"Now that you mention it, have you heard something about her?"
"No, not about lady Nasya, but one week ago I came across a shop when I was searching for a replacement for all the dresses you kept throwing. There I heard some weird news. That Vinter Corttes came to the capitol with a large number of gemstones to clean and purify them. They say that one of the mines owned by him was booming and he keeps on finding other precious gems day after day."
"Let's not put ourselves in a difficult situation. This does not concern us to begin with. If you don't have proof on why it is weird or suspicious, then leave it like that."
Knowing more is going to put us in the spot if they catch our movements. If they notice that someone is after them, one of two possibilities, backing off and covering their tracks or fighting back. They would choose one and it better be not the second one. Since only me and Spencer know about his illegal doings, is better to stimulate someone less noticeable to do our job for us.
Still, it seems like they are trying to move with this gemstone thing going on, because why would Vinter himself bring some random rock he found in one of his mines when he has other people doing his work for him? It doesn't make sense, but as far as it doesn't harm us in any way, it is not Spencer's or either my job to follow his tracks. And since I successfully gave Spencer some work to do, I have nothing better to do than enjoying this delicious dessert and…oh boy not green tea again!
"Before I go, I wanted to know what are you planning to do tomorrow. I heard his grace was talking with the butler this evening about a letter that you received from the imperial palace, but I guess they were worried because you didn't reply."
"Oh! That's because I haven't read it yet."
If eyes could kill, I would have been dead already. His whole face screams "Are you being serious right now?" and it doesn't feel good to know that he is disappointed but doesn't look that surprised. How low am I on his bar of expectations? I am afraid to ask him that because somehow I know the answer.
"Y-you … how dense can you be? Did you throw all the etiquette lessons in the trash? I understand that you hate to respond to the ladies for tea parties, but acting in this sort of manner with a member of royalty is unacceptable! You should be ashamed of yourself!"
Sigh, here we go again with the daily dose of crashing my self-esteem by my trustworthy artist, Mr. Spencer! Luckily, I ate before he started, otherwise, the food would have been stuck in my throat.
"Surprise! Look at me... see?! I don't care at all, and you know why? Because I wanted an audition with his highness in the first place. He sent a positive response, so I don't have to bother myself to write a letter back. Easy!"
"Y-you wanted this…Raelian, what are you trying to do? What exactly happened two weeks ago?"
Why do they insist on knowing something that affects only me? It is ridiculous because not too long ago they only minded their own business.
"I am tired, it was a long day, so I would appreciate it if you could go now."
"…sigh! As you wish my lady!"
I liked when he addressed me by my name, but it looks like he went to his normal self again. I noticed that Spencer acts differently from before when he gets frustrated, and maybe we left aside what had happened that day when I suspected myself of killing that young lady. That case can't be opened again, since it has been placed in the hand of the imperial family. I guess queen Beatrice knows what happened and also the culprit or she just took that as a chance to bring Alastair down. Either way, no one knows that I did it, so even that memory is not worth mentioning anymore. Unless someone actually finds out...
"Oh, Spencer before you go, take this collar and study it! And don't forget the task that I gave you before. Also...try to call me Raelian more often, all right!"
"...I-I...will think about it!"
Huh?! What with him and his reaction lately? Is making me confused.