I don't know why he is asking about Spencer all of the sudden, but it isn't his business if he is my friend or not. I was even somehow surprised with myself because I backed off immediately when he asked about him, which make me look a little off from his side. Still, I had nothing to worry about since he didn't ask out of the blue, he probably heard me say his name when I was sulking about him scolding me.
"Yes, Spencer is one of my dear friends from back home. Don't you have any friends yourself, your highness?"
"I do!"
'Lier, you can't count your brother as a friend. Is cute that he won't admit the fact that he is probably lonely and frustrated, but it makes me sad knowing the outcoming of this family-friendship situation he has with his brother.'
"Well, since you are the prince you must be quite popular, but I was talking about the real deal and people who appreciate your position or family are not part of this category. A best friend that helps you out at any time, someone that you can trust enough so you can share your deepest secret with, and feel happy every time you meet that person. This is a real friend!"
He was patiently listening to me, still sitting on the fountain looking at me calmly, but when I was over he hide his face and…was giggling? I heard him laugh before, but I couldn't see his face at the time, and now he was laughing again but didn't want to make it obvious.
"That sounds like a lover, not a friend!"
But then I understood that he wasn't laughing out of happy feelings, the aura that he was amitting was suffocating and painful. I couldn't tell which was which, but the internal screaming was so loud that I thought that the embarrassment and the paint were mixt together ready to burst out. I thought that I said something wrong for him to laugh, but this is ridiculous, I literally wanted to scream.
"Don't take it out of context, please! Friends and lovers are two different things. For one you have feelings, and the other is just that…friend!"
'Calm down, don't forget that he is the prince of this nation! Don't forget that if you say the wrong thing he is going to take it personally, again. But I am more confused by the tension so far. When I said that I didn't want his flowers, even when he was sitting with it in his hands and even now, he seemed irritated. And it makes me more frustrated, because it seems that is not directed toward me but at someone else, since he keeps being friendly and collected when he talks to me. Then I guess he wouldn't openly show his emotions to a stranger even if he hates them.'
It was a long silence, Alastair kept his head down looking at the ground, while I stand there seeing him and then the flower in my hand, which I didn't seem to know what type it was. I started to get worried because of the time we had spent there, and if his grace was finished with his business. The pain was fading away eventually, but it was starting to feel warm and hard to breathe.
"That flower! It hasn't bloomed yet, but when it does…it will stay the same. I indicated magic to keep it fresh and beautiful…you can look at it everyday…until you get tired of it."
"I-is…that so!"
His voice was getting more distant, every time I saw his lips, they were moving but fragments of his words kept coming separately. It was getting hotter, I thought it was the after effect of the opened wound which was giving me the temperature, but it was different, I didn't feel any physical pain.
"Your highness…why did you give me this? I-it looks like… you treasure it!"
I couldn't speak normally, it was a lot of work to try to breathe and talk at the same time. My body was weak, I couldn't feel my legs, my eyes were heavy, my head hurt and the vision was getting blurry. I didn't know what was happening but it sure felt like I was about to faint at any moment. I tried to walk near the fountain where Alastair was sitting and calm myself down, but it was hard even if the distance was less than a meter.
"It is pointless to treasure something when you know that is going to last forever. You find its value when you know that someday that would disappear and leave you alone with a big empty hole behind. My regret is that I keep doing the same mistakes, and this flower is the proof of all that."
I felt empty, like I couldn't understand why I was still walking but my body was moving on its own, I didn't have any energy left and my eyes shot down completely. I fell right after I reached the fountain and then everything went blank. Even then I could still hear Alastair's voice, he was saying something, but it was too hard to understand what it was about. Maybe he was asking for help or was trying to wake me up. Even though I felt like I was burning alive, his words were different, I could immediately tell how he was pouring his feeling through them, and it made me cry, because I couldn't say anything in return.
'It is nice hearing something, it makes me feel like I am still here and less scared of what just happened. I don't know what you are saying but keep going, don't leave me like this! I know this feeling, I know because it has happened before. It is the same as at the marquise mansion when I was alone. Please don't leave me alone! Don't leave me like this!'
I felt desperate, I was frustrated with myself and this body. This body is the sole reason why I am miserable in the first place, and now it reminds me that everything I do, it has always a way to bring me to square one. I keep running in circles and every path I take ends up with a reminder that I am still a rapha. I couldn't care less about people talking behind my back, but if this thing happens from now on, it would be a big problem that I should probably take care of. Find a way to keep it in control or the matter in hand, to get rid of this bracelet that Nasya put me, before she starts taking action and takes Mireyas place.
'Raphael what should I do, what happened just now? Can you hear me?'
As I remembered, the darkness was Raphael's home and the place where I ended after my body acted up. Every time I could feel his presence even though I couldn't actually see him, but this time it was a different place.
Like a small world inside my imagination, a long field surrounded by clouds. The sky was full of white clouds, the edges surrounding the field were clouds, and even if there was no sun, the place was full of light and a soft breeze caressed my face and calmed me down. I walked around the area but the image was the same everywhere.
'This is like a heavenly prison, with nowhere to go. Every time I go out into the clouds, I came back here to see the exact same thing, over and over again. I thought that maybe this was a place where people get banned, but I can't find the reason why I am here.'
I tried to go out of the frame, but it didn't work out since I would be sent back where I started, so I decided to walk into the field and see why I was summoned there. It didn't have much to see, since it was only a field and nothing else except clouds. I got tired after wandering around many times to figure out something and I sat down in confusion and irritation. I couldn't think of anything else to do and after some time, the wind and calm atmosphere put me to sleep hoping that I would eventually wake up as if nothing had happened.
"Brother what are you going to do when we go to the real world? Mother says that we should use our powers to help people in need and give them unconditional love and support. But what if I can't keep up with the task?"
"You are going to be just fine! I will be always with you when you need me, and together we can make mother proud!"
I woke up not long after and saw two little kids playing with each other in the field where I was standing. Both of them were sitting and the boy was trying to fix the girl's hair. They caught my attention when they bought up "the real world" and it was leading me to the story that Raphael told me about "my" ancestors. They both had silver hair and they called each other brother and sister, so they surely were them, but smaller. Not to mention, they talk about "helping people and giving them support", which almost made me throw up and laugh at what the future was preparing for them.
'This must be the place where they lived before they showed up in the early established kingdom. This boy must be my ancestor and the first rapha, the person who will destroy everything and wish for the world to burn in hell.'
I know that they weren't real, they lived thousands of yours ago after all, so even if I tried to talk to them, they would answer. What bothered me was, the reason for me to be there. I didn't need to know where they lived, what they thought or the reason why they were sent to this world. I wanted to get out of there, but it was no way out.
"Brother, I am scared!"
'Me too grandmother, me too!'
"Why are you scared, you have me here!"
'Wow, my life has been a disaster because of this person? How can such a child become the most fearsome creature on the planet? His name would be written on the history books as a monster, but he looks more like a sis-con to me.'
"That's why I am scared. You are here with me, but why do I feel you are also there?"
The little girl pointed her finger in my direction. It took me by surprise because this was supposed to be just a memory, but it was strange, she could feel my presence near them. Both turned their heads and I froze. The three of us were looking at each other in the eye, they knew that I was there and I knew that they could see me. But I went pale when I realized that Raphael's story was just that…a story. He did tell me that my ancestors had similar characteristics as me, I am fine with the boy, but why does the girl have purple eyes?
As I was looking even more into her eyes I remembered something, the color that was inherited from the royal blood, the same as a Tanzanite stone. Impossible are they are not related, she didn't have heirs. Or did she? Those eyes were what I needed to get out of there, they were the key that woke me up with more questions than answers.