Metal music snaps my eyes open. Like any other day. Get up, get dressed, coffee study the concepts of medicinal properties in herbology, leave and go to work. Walk down the hall of magnolia walls etched with a few posters of community guidelines and "this community sucks!" graffiti, open the door with the cracked glass that just doesn't want to give in and break away to the 5 flights of stairs with even more, homely adjustments to the walls of death threats, insults and despair. At the ground the stiff warped wooden door desperately in need of replacement bursts out with a loud clunk to the forecourt of the Pergandory block building filled with flats of 1-4 bed apartments. Built many years ago the grey concrete is stained with weather and spaced out graffiti from free runners to balconies. It could really do with a scrub and power hose but no the councilors just won't waste money on a run down area with so many problems. Housing problem people for that generous narcistic publicity that they do care about their civilians that are given a rough start. It's like living in a school with no school so there are plenty that have nothing better to do that buy crack, cocaine and other Manor of ileagal substances. If your doctor refuses to prescribe you what you want or what you think you need, don't worry there's someone in this building bound to hook you up. This area is so bent out of shape the councilors get hooked up with their narcotics here and just sweep under the imperial carpet of our local crooked MP making deals with such people I'd rather avoid and forget I knew at all. Clunking my boots on the rugged pavement as I make my way to work I pass a young mothers community walk group with their prams while the council group leaders try their best to keep everyone optimistic and entertain the children toddling around the park that desperately needs the 'art' covered up. As usual those young regretful mothers just talk amongst themselves and leave the councilors to 'babysit'.
Disfigured genitalia protruding from obscene and inappropriate spaces and hate tags of territory wars. Accompanied by the words 'Pyrose is an orphan freak' on the back of the park bench just inside the fence. Worn out and faded yet it still cuts me deep as the day it was made all that time ago. Lily Stanfield A girl with a personality complex for vanity and revenge based around the entitlement of severly needing someones nose shoved up her arse at any given time.
That's where I stop. As painful as it was back then while I was discovering my own identity and going through such grief and trauma. I am empowered to know where she is now to where I am in life. She got arrested trying to con one of her sugar daddies and was put into prison for 5 years. I don't hear much of what's going on since then but over time I have become comfortable in the isolation she created and left around me. It kept dramatic issues away from flaring up around me so I wasn't distracted from focusing on myself. I study and work to pay the bills. I've no support system, only councilors and therapist that like to check in a tick a box to prove they look like they care.
Reassuring myself that Lily is impeding to be released back to the public soon and that there should no longer be an issue anymore when she is released. It is days away now. I hold my head high and continue towards the market centre of the estate. Concentration on the music of my wireless headphones give out. 7 minutes away tucked underneath another tower block of homes is a small private licence shop, Muddinie's. A strict eager man who became forced by the local councilors to employ 2 'hopeless cases' to 'help' the problem with unemployment. They have had to as its commonly know on your resume that where I live, employers avoid you in every polite way they can. The councilors compromise in a small tax deduction. Either way he's not too pleased about employing me and I am none to happy either. So we just get on with the circumstances. His shop is among others around on the ground here with a dusty and crusted waterfall years past its former glory. The last I remember this worked I was 4. That was a tragic day that lasted a couple months.
* * *
" Blondie the stock needs counting in the confectionery section and the shelves need cleaning. Some bastard has burst some packets and created a right bloody mess. Then get back to the usual." Muddinie was sat behind the counter flicking through his phone. He didn't even look at me. The floors were checkered a dirty orange and speckled black tile system. The shelves holding the products definitely needed replacement as way to much rust has exposed too the chips where paint once was. It felt like a war zone in here of choatic displays of old sun bleached posters clashing with new vibrant products and tattered shelving everywhere showing off multiple painted layers that have failed Muddinie in keeping this place in fair competition with the local mini supermarket chain tescos. He can although sell for the drug ringleaders in here and import both legal and illegal products on request or keep a stock of what's popular to specific loyal customers.
"I'll get right on that. Is it a wet or dry mess?"
"Both" he smirked.
I grunted at the apprehension of needing to get my hands dirty.
I walked to the back of the store, hung up my fleece and placed the apron over my head and tied it to my waist. Pulling the trolly and grabbing the note book from the pocket of the apron I checked to see the pen was still in the coils of the binding. That's when I felt something strange behind my eyes. Ice. Sharp ice felt behind my eyes. It felt very stiff to blink. I couldn't force my eyes to shut with my face. An awful pain came over my head, my skin was still warm. Touching my face with my hands I tried to soothe the hammer to the head pain by rubbing my temples. Agonisingly masking this I stifle my shreik into a muffle then suddenly as I scrunched my face up my eyelid gave out like snapping glass, the pain disappeared as quickly as it came. Eyes still closed. Hands still over my head. I hear Muddinie's voice conversing with a customer complaining about the price of cigarettes as he chooses between the cheap brands available. He chose and I sharply hear the tinkering of the card reader as it jaggedly spat out the receipt. The paper crunched off in a snap and rustled into a muffle. Muddinie thanks them for their custom as the door clunk's after the thuds of footsteps.
"If I'm not getting anywhere at home maybe I can get some where with Rose. Her refusal should make this exiting"
What is he on about? I snap my eyes open. With hands still on my head waiting to nurse my head if the pain comes back again, the trolly squeaking forwards with a creepy momentum. It meanders right towards the door to the shop floor. Watching this I stepped and followed. Confused I grabbed the bars and proceed to walk through to the confectionery Isle in front of the counter.
"Did you call me?" I asked
"Ugh no. You shall be closing alone today. Special day for my wife and I, we are to celebrate tonight so I will leave early so you can prove yourself to be a trustworthy stand in manager." My face beemed with a smile.
"Does that mean a raise if I do well? Are you going out for dinner?" this is exiting. A raise will help me afford better food or stationary for my studies.
"Yes well we can discuss this tomorrow when Sam is in to the cover the floor in the morning. I shall only leave you in charge for 2 hours. Don't mess this up. A young girl in your position needs this" He smiles sweetly at me. Strange for him he hates me. His wife must be very important to him to need me to cover for him.
"Thank you Muddinie" I smiled and turned around and I set to pulling all the chocolates and sweets off the shelf onto the trolly. I got to cleaning the shelf.
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