It was a skill in itself to have control, to be able to withstand the inclination to scratch that itch. Ignoring it was not easy and when you navigate through life and come face to face with more obstacles you learn that it's not supposed to be simple. I had done my best to steer clear from anything that held the potential to destroy my ability to control myself. Unfortunately the resistance I built to resist anything went out the window of that car.
With my mind focused on the feel of his hand it took finally coming towards a luxurious building that snapped me back to reality to turn quizzically in his direction. "I was serious when I said I was stealing you away," his voice came out just merely a whisper as if conveying a secret. And walking on wobbly legs I allowed him to lead us into it, with his arm wrapped around my waist he kept a firm hold on me. The power emanating from the man beside me will never cease to baffle me especially with the way the few people who lingered in the lobby seemed to avoid looking up at him as if one look from him would be the end when I yearned to have him in my space.
In a flash from the moment we stepped onto the elevator the second we got to the top floor the first thing that immediately caught my attention was the ample view provided by the large window littered with glittering lights of the buildings in a pattern that had me moving on my own accord towards it. Despite the plush carpets, expensive furniture in that condo it was the awe-inspiring view that had my jaw nearly hitting the ground and I found myself placing my hand against the glass. The window was cool to the touch the more I pressed my hand gently against it. But it was the low request that made me shiver, "Turn around," not putting up much of a fight I turned around gasping out at the sight him holding a plate with a piece of cake with a single candle in it. The natural light emanating from it illuminated his eyes and if I wasn't swooning before I certainly was now as I came and stood before him, "I got my aunt to bake a cake, I would bring the whole thing out but I don't think we'll be able to finish it tonight but I hope you like it," he said biting his lower lip, the action indirectly coming across as seductive yet it was an act fueled by a nervous energy coursing through his body. "I love it," I replied smiling at the simple yet sweet gesture that had any remaining glacier that was meant to compel any indifference towards him to melt.
"Make a wish," he whispered and I closed my eyes for a second not wanting to waste this opportunity and felt my grin widen at the memories flooding my mind that pushed me to blow out the candle. "What did you wish for?"
"If I tell you then it won't come true," I sang lightly.
He groaned dramatically making me roll me eyes at his theatrics and once I took a bit of the slice the chocolate flavor burst inside my mouth, "I promise to tell you what it is in case it happens," I offered about to lick the chocolate icing on the tip of my finger only to have my hand being grasped by his. The sight of his lips wrapping around my digit had me frozen in place at the feel of his warm tongue causing a ragged breath to escape from my lungs. Sensing the effect he was having on me, his dark eyes lifted up to mine and a devilish grin emerged the second my finger left his mouth and he purred gently, "Deal."
And if anyone thought I would be able to walk out of that apartment that very night in one piece then they were truly unaware of the force I was dealing with. They were truly unaware of how hard it was to get my limbs to distance themselves from his. It was easier to succumb to the need to give in a bit. To let my guard down slightly and even though it was just past midnight when he ushered me towards the bedroom I still felt like it was my birthday.
***
Feeling the soft fabric of his large shirt on my skin I took a deep breath staring at my reflection in the bathroom mirror rubbing my hands against the fabric of the boxers he gave me to change into in order to get rid of the sweat. Once we entered his private space, the dark colors in the room displayed an essence of his masculinity yet he handled me quite gently ushering me towards the bathroom to change an indication of the fact I wasn't going anywhere that night but his bed.
The door opened and the fire crackling oozed a level of warmth that welcomed me in despite how nervous I was to be spending a night with a man for the first time. And the very man ripping me apart delicately with every look and touch lied quite close to the fireplace in nothing but sweatpants. His torso was bare allowing my eyes to feast upon his flesh; the light streaks of black ink sprinkled along his chest decorated his landscape consisting of pectoral muscles that made my throat grow dry. "If you ever decide to just wear that for the rest of your life you'll make me one happy man," he groaned when his eyes landed on me, sitting up slightly he waited patiently as I came and took a seat on the carpet and reached out for the blanket settled around his thighs to cover myself with it.
"If you play your cards right… I might consider it," I giggled biting my lower lip as I settled in lying down next to him and as crazy as it sounds it felt right being there with him. "What's it going to take?" he asked.
I pursed my lips pondering the question, "You just being real with me. I'm a pretty simple girl in a lot of ways. I'm the type of girl who prefers a genuine man whose actions show me he'll be there over one who recklessly buys me a dozen roses without any genuine meaning behind it."
"You sound like my mother," he remarked lying down till he was directly in front of me, "she always said the thing that drew her towards my father wasn't just because of the bond, it was because of how willing he was to be there for her. Sometimes when you're going through hardships it's nice to know that someone is there."
"Well she was right and…" I hesitated unsure of whether it was a good idea to say it but swallowing down the uncertainty I continued, "They deserved to have more time together."
He remained silent and I feared an awkward silence would occur given how the subject of his father was a sore spot for him, "Me too… when he became a lot more involved in the mafia world, their time was taken when he went to jail," he mumbled looking up at the ceiling. "He was accused of robbing a bank and despite the activity he was involved in my father was never the type to get involved in anything so risky, he preferred dealing with legitimate businesses so you can imagine how that news rocked our family when he was arrested. It wasn't easy seeing him like that," he breathed clearing his throat and I reached out placing my hand on his chest, "s-so helpless behind those bars… I had no intention of ever being a part of this life you know… but once he was gone I had to step up and be able to help out my mother even though she and my dad didn't want me to."
"But you felt you had to… you felt you had to provide for them," I whispered keeping my eyes trained on him. "Yeah and Sonny showed me the ropes, taught me how to handle myself. Eventually I was going to leave this life especially once he got out but… uh," he sighed running a gentle hand down his face, "he died in there. Alone… he deserved to have his family with him."
It was quiet for a while with me processing what he conveyed and understanding the pain he felt when it came to him. He closed his eyes, the vulnerability making tears form in my own eyes, "That's why I was so upset the night you saw me. It was the anniversary of his death and though it has been three years it still fucking kills me," his voice cracked. Lunging forward I wrapped my arms around him not caring about anything else than to be there for him, he tensed slightly before eventually relaxing and wrapping his arms around me. "I swear I didn't particularly plan on opening up like this," he chuckled reaching up to wipe his eyes.
"It's okay, don't ever hide from me," I replied watching him smile gently at the line he once used before. Despite the darkness often cast that would tarnish the opportunity for flowers to bloom in this split second of light that came from the fireplace we basked in it and soaked in the time of peace. His arm came around me, resting on my back only to pull me in. Leaning forward I already knew his intentions, we had surpassed the innocent touches and when he looked into my eyes and saw I had already made a choice despite the sound of my heart beating in my ears, the second his soft lips landed on mine I died. It was tentative at first till he unexpectedly moved forward to hover above me catching me off guard and being a man who was groomed to be a predator he took full advantage of my slightly parted lips and dipped into my cavern. Like a thief in the night with an agenda to steal, kill and destroy his tongue stroked mine annihilating the tapestry lining the walls of my temple with the sinful taste of scotch. Surrounded by his strength I felt no fear in embracing the sensuality oozing from this reality that belonged to us alone. And as I succumbed to sleep I could have sworn somewhere in the midst of darkness I heard the word, "Mine..."