The weekends soon came. Gu Xiao sluggishly rubbed his eyes.
None of this was a dream.
The noisy clamor of cicadas woke him up from his painful rest, and before he knew it, the sun was already shining and the Saturday came.
To say he even slept at all would be pushing it. He couldn't sleep at all. It was a long, sleepless night. There were probably thirty minutes where he could fall into a deep slumber around three in the morning.
Still, his mind constantly shocked him awake after a stream of disconnected dreams, and an intense anxiousness swallowed his heart.
Every time he rested his eyes, and his body would gradually fall into rest, his mind would shock him awake as though it were giving a warning. Warning him that he would never be able to wake up if he was to sleep.
It had not been like that in a long time, but it appeared his poor sleeping habits were reoccurring once again.
His body had only felt heavier than before, or it might have been the extra layers of blankets toppling over him. He took a deep breath and left his bed.
The moment he trudged outside, he saw an unfamiliar woman with slightly curled hair, carrying plates.
Gu Heiyu stood in the kitchen, and his father was sitting down. When they all noticed Gu Xiao come out, their gaze dragged themselves towards the boy with dishevelled hair.
"Gu Xiao, you're finally awake?" their father uttered.
He let out a quiet, "Huh?" and glanced at the crooked clock before widening his eyes. Those numbers displayed on the clock forced him to rub his eyes a few times to confirm he wasn't dreaming.
"It's two? Why didn't you wake me up?!"
She threw a spoon at him and scolded, "Me? Why are you blaming me? Am I your alarm clock?"
"You must be Gu Xiao?" the woman smiled.
"Yes," he bowed, still scratching his head in confusion.
Gu Heiyu threw another spoon at him, and he flinched.
"What are you still doing there standing? Go wash your face."
...
When he finished brushing his hair and teeth, getting dressed into something more decent, they all sat down at the table. The two siblings kept peering at each other while eating diligently.
Looking at Luo, she had long natural black hair, slightly curled towards the tips, and minimal makeup.
She was always smiling gently, and each time the corner of her lips raised, wrinkles formed at the corner of her eyes.
Even their father, who always seemed to attract this melancholic and desolate aura constantly, looked happy that all these dull colours washed away with the breeze.
"I'm so sorry for barging in like that yesterday," Luo apologised, with utter guilt riddling her eyes.
"No, it's alright," Gu Heiyu said, unsure of what to feel.
"It's nice to meet you, Gu Xiao," she said. "I apologise for meeting you both so suddenly."
He nodded in silence, unsure of what to say.
"Do we have any sauce for this?" Gu Heiyu asked.
"I'll go make some," he responded and stood up.
"I'll go help you," Luo added, and followed Gu Xiao.
They headed to the kitchen and took out the oils and condiments to make the sauce. While mixing them, Gu Xiao kept peeking at the woman beside him.
"Auntie."
"Yes!" she beamed.
Taken aback by her bright energy, he leaned back a bit from surprise. He could discern that she didn't hold any ill intentions, but he couldn't shake off his worry.
"...Why do you like dad?"
She continued mixing the oils and sauces before letting out a brighter smile. "I cannot just pick what parts of him I like. But I guess he pulled me out during my darkest times... And he just became someone who I wished I could spend my life would."
"It must seem strange for you two to see grown adults like this," she awkwardly laughed.
And Gu Xiao couldn't deny that it wasn't strange. Both of them were divorced. They once married someone else, thinking they would spend their lives together forever, but the love they had didn't last.
Did they know their love would end? He kept telling himself there was no point in being pessimistic.
Love was a funny thing. A funny concept. He had practically tasted the torture and misery of this broken detachment between himself and his family, so would it hurt to risk it all for the sake of their father?
He kept telling himself that he had nothing to lose anymore except for maybe a few things. He wanted their father to be happy, and his father indeed appeared bright every time he mentioned this woman.
When he saw the light in their father's eyes, which he thought had extinguished a long time ago, he wanted the light to continue growing.
He wanted their father to smile once again without any burden. Yet, what about himself? In the end, he always put others a step before him like always.
If he had to leave this place, leave the people he had met behind, he felt like he was going to travel back down to the same dark place he was in.
Gu Xiao gazed at the condiments before him as he sunk into a distinct blankness.
Miss Luo must've been so afraid of being subjected to their disapproval and hate, but the truth was, the two siblings couldn't dislike her.
Rather, Gu Xiao found it hard to hate people. Instead, he had only ever felt disappointment.
"But I don't just desire for my happiness. I hope you and Gu Heiyu are happy too. So, if you are uncomfortable with me, please say so. I will not force anything upon you two."
Gu Xiao nodded and let out a short "Oh," and the two came back to the table.
She looked at Gu Xiao and gleamed, "I actually have a son around your age."
Gu Heiyu spat out her water. "What the fu— I mean. Does that mean we'll have a stepbrother?"
They were unsure of what to feel. Displeasure or delight. Looking back on their past, it was never a pleasant experience.
When they first met their mother's husband, Gu Xiao knew there was something strange about that man, despite Gu Heiyu being earlier in her judgement.
However, Luo didn't seem to be hiding anything, though it might've been too early to decide on her true nature.
Her smile and tone of voice were sweet; it was so pure and innocent that it forced this guilt to relapse onto the two.
"But he's still in his second year of high school," she said and fed their father a dumpling. Then, their father also fed Miss Luo a dumpling, and the two smiled at each other.
This sweet exchange made both Gu Heiyu and Gu Xiao pull their lips in disgust and just couldn't watch their dad suddenly act so romantically.
"Will we need to see this every day?" Gu Heiyu whispered.
"Probably."
"I don't think my eyes can handle it."
The two aggressively shoved all the foods on the dishes in their mouths while the two adults continued showing off their affection.
...
"Can we have some time to think about moving?" Gu Xiao asked.
Their dad raised their brows, and even Luo was surprised by his words.
Maybe a part of his father thought the two would firmly refuse on the spot, since this family never had a stable relationship.
And if he were to just suddenly stab in the information that they were moving somewhere far away after providing them with nothing but torment, it would all seem like an absurd situation.
So, he wouldn't blame them nor get upset if the two refused.
"Yes. Take as much time as you need, but I need to confirm my job placement within a month."
"If you agree, you all can come to visit our house in the UK Kingdom before then. I'm sure my son will be glad to meet you both," Luo gleamed.
"Then what about school?" Gu Heiyu asked.
"Ah, I will have both the uniform and enrolment sorted out!"
"She's prepared," she mumbled.
"I'm sure you must not want to part with your friends."
While Gu Xiao appeared calm on the outside, Gu Heiyu wasn't.
"I'm sorry. I can't act like this is all fine. You want us to abandon our life here just to go to the UK and pretend like nothing is wrong?"
Gu Xiao, their father, and Luo all looked at Gu Heiyu with a shock spread over their eyes. Even so, Gu Xiao didn't say anything.
"I understand that you two like each other, and we said we were fine. But it looks like you don't really care about what we feel at all."
"....."
"You said you will have everything sorted out in the UK for us with such optimism, but what made you think we would also be in an optimistic mood to hear that we will now move to a different country with a person we've only met for less than a day? I know you may see us as just children who know nothing, but... this is hard for me to accept."
Luo nodded, "I understand... I'm sorry for meeting you two so late and bombarding so much information."
"No, it's my fault. I should have told them," their father said.
While Gu Heiyu was explaining her opinions, Gu Xiao felt like he was sitting in a room with nothing and no one. It was just him and his thoughts.
Even though he said he still needed time to think about it, he had already come to an answer. There was no possibility that he would interfere with their father's happiness because of his feelings.
Watching the two adults talk and smile, they indeed appeared happy that he couldn't help but let a solemn smile appear on his lips.
Just watching his father look so lifted, and the woman who was the reason for his joy, he couldn't refuse anything.
...
After finishing eating, Gu Heiyu went to wash the dishes, and Miss Luo also followed to help.
The two started talking, though Gu Xiao didn't know what they were talking about. Gu Heiyu had calmed down slightly, but she was still conflicted about this entire situation.
Now, only a pair of father and son sat at the table alone.
"Gu Xiao..."
Gu Xiao leaned back and gulped down the glass of water.
"I'm sorry," their father said.
"Why are you apologising?"
He didn't respond, but he had a vague idea of the purpose of his apology.
They had only stayed in Beijing for almost only two years, while the rest was in Shanghai.
Now, they had to move all the way to the UK. But he wasn't bothered by it. That was what he kept telling himself. He kept hammering it into his head that he wasn't bothered by it.
His school years were ending soon, with only less than two months left until the university entrance exams. Everyone would split ways after.
He would miss seeing Zhang Yongyin every day, playing games with him, taking people's meal cards. If only he had treasured those times more, but it was too late.
He had told Lan Yuning that he would wait for his response no matter how long it took, but he was not afraid of his answer. He was afraid of how he should tell Lan Yuning to forget about it.
Letting out a deep exhale, Gu Xiao watched the wind charm jingle and sway amongst the cool breeze. On that cold and rainy afternoon, a quietness descended upon them, and the wind washed their thoughts away, leaving nothing but emptiness.