When Gu Xiao came home, their father was already sitting on the floor. It appeared Gu Heiyu and their father had already been talking quite a bit, but had not reached the main point since they were waiting for Gu Xiao to come first.
Their father's face carried an intense wave of nervousness that it couldn't be concealed by the darkness of the night. Whatever their father was going to tell them determined their entire future.
"Gu Xiao, Gu Heiyu. There's something I must tell you," their father said.
With only a vague idea of what he would tell them, it still surprised them that their father decided to speak about that person.
Whilst Gu Xiao sat before their father, he was still pondering about his confession.
If his family situation wasn't so complicated, would he have found it much easier to express his feelings earlier on?
After all, the reason his past romantic relationships never worked out was because he refused to reveal all of himself.
He was afraid that once he revealed how listless he was and how impoverished his family was, their view of him would immediately change into something pitiful, and they would feel a great burden to take care of him.
"I heard you have met Miss Luo today?"
"I met her. Gu Xiao didn't," Gu Heiyu said.
"The truth is..."
No matter how hard their father tried to let these words leave his dry throat, he didn't know how to correlate his thoughts and arrange them into proper sentences without sounding improper.
A bird occasionally broke the silence within this tiny home. Other sounds filtered in, things they couldn't precisely identify.
Something was trampling on fallen leaves. Something heavy rustling the branches. The sound of the deep breaths of their father inhaling and exhaling.
With the wind knocking on their windows, the occasional creaks of the walls sounded.
His mixes of 'um' and 'ah' continued for a while until Gu Xiao spoke. "Dad, how long have you been seeing Miss Luo?"
An advertisement break filled the gaps of the quietness. Long, heavy silences reigned over the house that the atmosphere within this small home became strained.
"One year?"
Both of them widened their eyes, and their mouths dropped.
"One, one year?"
"It was a speculation we had around six months ago, but we didn't know you have been seeing Miss Luo for one year," Gu Heiyu blabbered.
"I'm sorry."
The two scratched their necks, completely speechless.
"Well, if dad is happy, then I am fine with it," Gu Heiyu said hesitantly.
Gu Xiao fiddled with the edges of her sleeves, unsure of how to speak his thoughts, yet he allowed a few words to leave his lips.
"I know we are talking about her, but what about your debt?"
What if this woman was simply playing around with their father? Looking at his father's state, what could he possibly offer her?
Judging by what Gu Heiyu said, Luo appeared to be someone who was well off, so why would she fall for a married man who already had two grown children and had a piling debt constantly chasing him like cat and dog?
He didn't know what to feel except this torturing uneasiness, especially with their experience with their mother's new family.
When Gu Xiao mentioned his debt, their father's eyes glistened with a flickering light.
"The company I work for is offering me a transfer to a branch over there. It's a full-time job, and the pay is quite good."
This was the first time his voice contained excitement that the two couldn't help but feel a sense of shock and surprise.
Their father who always had his back huddled, a wary and anxious expression as though he was going to be attacked from behind, finally had this inexplicable light seeping through his dark pupils.
"...But..." Their father's expression returned to the usual, riddled with a strong sense of hopelessness and guilt.
"The job is in the UK."
Gu Xiao and Gu Heiyu slowly shifted their heads to face each other, and their eyes widened with shock.
Even though they expected this situation to head in this direction, to hear it come out of their father's mouth, to realise this was reality and not a dream, surprised them.
"That's, that's so far," Gu Heiyu stuttered. "I mean, it's literally in another country."
All Gu Xiao's body could do was freeze, that even his mind stopped working. Everything within his vision darkened, and he lost the ability to pay attention to anything.
He knew where this conversation was heading that all his senses gradually numbed.
He slowly asked, "Then are we...? With what money?"
"I'm sorry for not telling you guys earlier since I wasn't sure if I would get this job or not. The truth is... I have paid off the debt already, but I just haven't found the right time to tell you two."
"I know this all sounds absurd... but Miss Luo wants us to move to the UK with her since she lives there. The expenses will be taken care of, and I have actually been saving for a while. I'm sorry for telling you two all of this now."
They nodded slowly, trying to absorb all this information into their tired brains at eleven.
Their father continued, "But I won't if you two object to this decision to move because I value your opinions. I don't want to make another big mistake and make you two suffer because of me again."
"How did you first meet her?" Gu Heiyu asked.
"She came here for business trips from time to time, and I met her then."
"What even is your company?"
"I was hired by LS Corporations after passing the interview a while back. I was lucky that they hired me because of my previous experience, despite the gaps between my careers."
The two noticed the faint light in their dad's eyes when he spoke about his job.
When they heard the words 'LS Corporation', they instantly gaped and wondered how they had never heard of this. Yet they had never shared much information about their lives with each other.
Even if they were a family, what each of them did was none of their business. They were shocked that their father even passed the interview for such a large company.
Still, they remembered that before their father had become like this, he had attended quite a prestigious university, and that was where he met their mother.
Even though a swirl of complex emotions weaved around them, the two couldn't get mad at him.
They couldn't complain.
They couldn't retaliate.
They couldn't be the reason this gleam in their father's eyes blew out.
Luo. A job. The UK.
Everything was happening too fast.
To travel to a different country had never crossed their mind because this meant that once they moved, they were practically throwing their lives here and burying them away.
They weren't even familiar with this person, but now they were hit with the fact that they must live with her. Gu Xiao found it difficult to accept this, let alone comprehend anything.
He didn't know what else to say except let out a quiet, "...What..."
To be able to fully grasp the situation was impossible at this time, since this all appeared so absurd. Hearing that this lady would help them transition to the UK was suspicious enough.
There was nothing to gain in doing so unless she just cared that much about him. Yet, he suddenly remembered Gu Heiyu's words, that she was a nice person.
Gu Heiyu had a good judge of people's character, and her judgements were never wrong, probably better than his.
If his sister said Luo was nice, he knew he shouldn't worry, but he still couldn't help but be anxious.
"I'm sorry for pouring all of this on you two now. Especially Gu Xiao... since your exams are near."
The entrance exam was the least of Gu Xiao's concerns right now. After all, his grades had been detrimentally affected by his own degradation, and he didn't think he had worked that hard the past few years like others.
It was only this year that he was slowly learning. To improve himself, that was.
If he was going to move to a different country, it was a given that he might need to repeat the year. Perhaps it was for best to repeat a year in a different country instead of wasting time on the entrance exam only to get a lousy grade.
Even though he was gradually picking the missing pieces of himself, it appeared they were slowly slipping through his fingers once again.
He had always accepted everything thrown at him with the least condemnation, and only grieving bitterly sometimes, so to hear this sudden information, there was only so much that could ever surprise him anymore.
All he felt was disappointment. Suspicions still surrounded the woman who was interested in their father, and now he found out they were going to move to the UK.
If it were the past, he wouldn't mind transferring schools since he moved multiple times, and moving homes was also no problem. Yet now, he felt somewhat saddened.
To move so far away. To be so far apart. To leave people behind. To abandon the past. He didn't want that to happen.
...
"Dad. Do you like her?" Gu Heiyu asked.
Their father lowered his gaze, letting a subtle nod. Seeing this, Gu Xiao rubbed his face as thoughts cluttering his mind.
He had no right to interfere with their father's life, especially since they both never had a simple father and children relationship.
What right did he have?
They were just children. Immature children who understood absolutely nothing about life.
"Miss Luo is coming tomorrow?"
He nodded, still wearing an anxious expression.
"I think I will need some time," Gu Xiao said, and walked back to his room.
Now, the living room only had a father and his daughter. Long, heavy silences reigned over the house.
Time, words, confusion, decisions.
Each of them had inner secrets that they never allowed to be revealed, but they discovered a way to share the sense of having something hidden from the other.
"Dad," Gu Heiyu called once again, and the man slightly tilted his chin up.
She eyed him and blurted, "Do you always meet Miss Luo looking like that? You should at least groom yourself, you know? Or buy new clothes."
Their father remained silent, confused about his daughter's words.
"I just hope this wouldn't end up being something we would all regret. I don't want the mistakes to repeat because I'm not sure if I could handle it again," she said and stood up, walking back to her room.
In the middle of the dark-lit living room, where the creaks of the wooden floorboard and words echoed each time the wind knocked, laid their father, who sat alone, rubbing his tired eyes.
...
Gu Xiao, who slumped his body on his bed, stared off into the distance as he indulged in his murky thoughts. He was worried about his father.
What if this woman just had some strange thing with older men who used to be in debt? He couldn't shake off the thought that this Luo was just using their father, even though he knew it wasn't good to think like this.
What could she even use their father for? This family had nothing. Truly nothing.
"Moving to the UK? Then..."
What was he supposed to tell Lan Yuning? There was nothing much he could say since he did tell him that he didn't want or expect a response.
What was holding him back? Was it because of this uncertainty about their future, that unknown lady, or the house in the United Kingdom?
If they left everything here and realised moving to another place was indeed a mistake, what would happen then?
Their father was known to make mistakes, and he had made too many that he lost count of them all.
If everything was to repeat, and his days would return to that suffocating estrangement to his own self, what would happen then?
He pondered on their father's company name. It sounded like such a large company, but there was a sense of familiarity with that name. LS Corporations.
At once, his body jolted up. Gu Xiao's memory always failed him, but this time, he clearly remembered why their father's company sounded so familiar.
It was Lan Yuning's father's company.
Amid that unsettled silence, a sharp blade continued pointing towards his heart as it swung like a heavy pendulum.
That arc of emotions left fresh wounds in his skin, bones, and veins. He twisted and turned around in his bed. Without knowing, he drifted off into a stifling sleep and hoped for the morning to rise quickly.