All Lan Yuning could let out was a quiet, "What...?"
Upon hearing his words, Gu Xiao met Lan Yuning's gentle black eyes and became extremely flustered, and the clear reflection of his face in the other's eyes made the astringent feeling in his heart slightly fade despite it pounding restlessly against his chest.
"Um, good evening."
And with strength that came from nowhere, Gu Xiao quickly pulled his hand that held onto Lan Yuning's palm and turned his face away. But when Gu Xiao tried to pull away, Lan Yuning caught it and refused to let it go.
Gu Xiao only felt his fingers, which had been frozen into ice, land on a small, warm hand that Gu Xiao heated up himself.
From his palm to his fingertip, they were all tightly wrapped and pressed together.
"What did you just say?" Lan Yuning asked, his ears and neck turning red as if he was being tanned over a flame.
"Good evening?"
"No. Before that..."
Gu Xiao bolted up from the bed, letting a nervous laughter break out and sweat to drip down his forehead.
"Well, well, would you look at the time? It's time for my favourite evening classes to start," he stuttered, turning away in hopes of dashing out of the infirmary.
When Gu Xiao headed outside his bed area, Lan Yuning stood up and went after him, but he tripped over his chair and hit his leg on the sharp metal edge of the bed.
"Ow..." Lan Yuning crouched down, pressing his palm onto the stabbed area as he attempted to stifle in the sharp and burning pain.
Alerted, Gu Xiao darted his head back and dashed to Lan Yuning.
He crouched down and tried his best to be on the same eye level as him.
"Are you alright? What happened?" he panicked, holding onto Lan Yuning's ankles, though he quickly hid his leg behind the other.
"It's... nothing."
"No. Let me see," Gu Xiao beckoned, but Lan Yuning still refused to move his hand away as though the stabbing pain had paralysed his entire body, or it might've been because of something else.
"I'm alright..."
A sigh left Gu Xiao's lips. He reached out, one arm around Lan Yuning's back and the other swooping under his knees. Lan Yuning jolted by the sudden contact as Gu Xiao lifted him up and carried him to the edge of the bed.
From the bottom, Gu Xiao rolled up Lan Yuning's pants, revealing his thin and pale calves that had probably never met the sun.
A bit of his skin had peeled off, and a burning redness spread around the scratch.
The cold weather didn't make the sharp sensation of the scrape any better that all Lan Yuning could do was suppress the stinging rush.
Lan Yuning held onto Gu Xiao's finger. "I'm fine, but what you said before..."
Had Gu Xiao not been well-versed in controlling his emotions, he would've blurted a bunch of nonsensical words already.
Lowering his head, he rubbed the back of his neck in a rather reserved manner.
No matter what he was going to say, the atmosphere was sure to be awkward.
If he said anything wrong, it might change everything that was going to happen from this point onwards.
"...You heard it all?"
Seeing Lan Yuning's embarrassed and unwilling look, Gu Xiao scratched his head as his face flushed into splashes of crimson.
"I didn't want you to find out like this. This is really lame..."
Lan Yuning's red lips separated as his fingers slowly curled, holding onto the bedsheets.
"I was bawling my eyes out a few hours ago and ended up falling asleep. My eyes are all swollen, my hair is a mess," he said and pulled on the strand of hair that stuck out on the side of his head. "And now you hurt your leg. But—"
"The..."
Lan Yuning's eyelashes trembled for a moment before he closed his eyes.
When he opened them again, Lan Yuning gathered his courage and looked at Gu Xiao, who looked at him, not saying a word.
With a heart that continued to beat restlessly, Gu Xiao's throat dried and goosebumps crawled over his skin. Every time Lan Yuning paused his sentence, and looked at him, anticipation arose in Gu Xiao's chest, but then he would simply shut his mouth, lower his head, and the only sounds they could hear in the room were their own pounding heartbeats.
"The person you like... is me?"
Lan Yuning moved his fingers and held onto the edge of Gu Xiao's sleeves weakly.
The discomfort in his stomach was inflamed, and sweat covered his palms.
Even though he was the one asking that question, it was like he had been forced into a dead end and was being tormented by the irritating itch in his heart.
The humidity took over Gu Xiao's ears, that Lan Yuning's voice started blurring into one long sound.
"Yes," he uttered, trying to get his voice clear, so Lan Yuning understood him. "I like you, Lan Yuning."
A part of Gu Xiao didn't want to rush anything, so that's why he didn't want Lan Yuning to find out now. Maybe because he was also afraid.
Rejection was only half of what he was afraid of, but he feared that he and Lan Yuning would never have the same relationship again.
Lan Yuning might start distancing himself, and their friendship would gradually weaken. Or if things went well, then they could be together.
"Why..."
While he averted Gu Xiao's gaze, a sting of nervousness, fear, and sweetness filled Lan Yuning.
The mixed feelings of bitterness and anticipation seeped through his wavering eyes.
Gu Xiao could tell he was trying his best to calm himself down, but in the end, his wavering eyes communicated the rush of mixed feelings of both bitterness and confusion.
"Why... Why do you like me? I don't understand... I..."
Gu Xiao knew his past relationship with He Rong had probably impacted him greatly that he was afraid of something, but Gu Xiao didn't know exactly what he was afraid of.
Darting his head left and right, he went to the cupboard and grabbed a small ointment and a couple of tissues. He went back to Lan Yuning and crouched down on one knee, startling the other a little.
Gu Xiao supported the back of the injured leg and cleaned the slight cut. His face, washed with a gentle light, something completely pure yet tainted with every past misfortune.
He softly dabbed the bleeding area, trying his best so he didn't inflict harm on him.
Why did he like him?
This wasn't a question he could answer with just words, but he tried his best so he understood.
"Do I need a specific reason to like you?" he smiled. "I like being with you, I like talking to you, I want to be good to you, I want you to be happy. When I see you upset or hurt, I get so anxious and mad at myself."
"Every time I'm around you, I get so nervous." A short, awkward laughter rolled off his tongue.
"I know I may be a bit slow on these things, but I did a lot of thinking. You said to like someone was to be able to feel vulnerable with them. That you could share everything with them, and that their presence is calming. Well, I do feel that way to you, Lan Yuning."
He continued cleaning the blood before putting a circular band aid over it. Perhaps part of the reason he cleaned the wound slowly was to avoid eye contact with Lan Yuning, but he could sense the stares of the other, yearning for him to look, but he still didn't dare raise his head.
"I know you might resent me for lying to you. I used my stubbornness to get closer to you, and I'm a mess, too. There are many things that I need to fix about myself."
Both their hearts went soft, though their bodies were extremely stiff that their breaths had to slow down. Gu Xiao's scalp went numb, and his mind strangled his neck.
For a moment, no one made a sound or movement except trying to silence the surging tide in their blood and their heart that was like a war drum that couldn't be stopped.
"I never resented you. I..." Lan Yuning said, but he was interjected by the sudden noise rattling from outside.
Suddenly, harsh clashes of high heels against tiles sounded, and the nurse brushed the curtains away.