Last time, on Future Magic King: The Congregation:
"Why don't we play a game?"
"Whaddya mean, to be continued?"
"My grandpa's deck has no pathetic cards."
And now, the thrilling conclusion.
***
"What is it with you and recaps?" Jack's voice was cracking. "All anyone needs to do is scroll up. And that last one was from something else entirely!"
Russ wandered back into the barroom, clad in faded grey chinos and a thin sweatshirt. "What did I miss?"
"About sixty words of nonsense," said Jack, clenching his jaw.
At the table, Lydia pulled a card from the top of her deck, adding it to her hand. A sheen of sweat had started to gather on her forehead, which was creased in concentration, her heart thumping a death metal beat. She clicked her tongue.
"I add two mako energies to Gunner, and equip my King with the Mythril Shield!" She slung three cards onto the table, and next to her a shining shield appeared in her King's free hand. Gunner glowed.
"Mako energy?" said Hannah, squinting.
"This game is just a rip-off!" said Jack.
Lydia gave Gamey a piercing stare. "When my King defends, his battle power goes up to thirty. Plus, I can use two mako energy to activate Gunner's skill: Mindblow!" The gun-arm rattled, a blue glow surrounding it before flaring off towards Noka.
The sceptre she held dissipated, and she stared at her empty hands with confusion. Gamey blanched, his free hand flopping on the table as he gawked. "It can't be!"
"But it is! Mindblow destroys all energy and equipment cards on any of your units, so Noka comes back down to earth!"
"Noka's current BP: fifteen."
The white-haired vampire pouted, and Lydia smirked. One step closer. "Firstly, Gunner attacks your King!"
He raised his arm, unleashing a hail of bullets which Noka couldn't dodge, despite her acrobatic attempts.
Gripping his chest, Gamey spluttered, and made an elongated groan akin to a particularly constipated pig.
"Gamuel's life points: fifteen."
"And then Cl**d will attack!"
Hannah frowned. "Why are we only censoring that now?"
The spiky-haired boy leapt forwards, slashing across Noka with a stout swing. She screamed. So did Gamey.
"Gamuel's life points: twelve."
He panted, expending herculean effort just to keep hold of his cards. "A fine move, but that's all you can do. I draw, and I call the servants Alugard and Antique Dealer!"
Cradling his face, Jack shook his head. "Do they have names or titles? And what use is an antiques dealer in a magic battle?"
Two units flashed into being next to Noka: one was a man with long black hair, a red coat, and a wicked smile. The other was bald, and portly, wearing a casual shirt, and had chalk-white skin and glinting fangs.
Lydia gulped.
Gamey grinned. "Alugard's skill: by not attacking this turn, I can double Noka's battle power!" The red-coated man pulled a hefty pistol from the jacket's lining, tossing it over to the King.
"Noka's current BP: thirty."
Lydia made a 'hmph' noise. "But that still only makes her equal with Cl**d!"
"For now," said Gamey, his voice lifting. "Antique Dealer has a skill too, and I'll use it: by discarding one card from my hand, I can vampirise one of your units, adding its battle power to Noka!"
The fat man surged forwards, jumping and chomping on Gunner's neck before he could react. A sickly red aura flowed from them to the vampire King.
"Noka's current BP: fifty."
Lydia stared in disbelief. Her jaw was trembling, and she felt her arms trying to reach for her hair and tear it out. How could she lose here? And to a vampire, no less: one of the very creatures who had taken her sister, the one she was about to fail. It was disgusting.
Everyone else looked on in incredulity.
"Do you really think she'll lose?" said Hannah, her eyes glued to the holograms.
Jack sighed. "It doesn't matter. They're playing a card game."
"This feels like serious business to me. Look at her face!"
Lydia's face was screwed up, her teeth grating. She watched as Noka did a few front-flips, bringing her heel down towards the Mythril Shield like an axe. Everyone averted their eyes.
"I activate Gunner's Guardian skill!" She thrust her hand towards the projections. "By sacrificing him, I negate your attack!
The abnormally-pale Gunner stepped in front of Cl**d, holding his hands out wide and being pulverised by Noka's leg.
Gamey scowled. "I end my turn."
"Noka's current BP: fifteen."
Hannah's eyes were sparkling. "Holy crap, this is so cool."
Jack moaned. "You're the only one who thinks that."
Lydia drew her card, using deep breaths to centre her focus, just as she did when using magic. She smiled wryly.
"Since you're the national champion, then you should know what comes next. When I have less than five life points, and no servants on the field, I can evolve my king!"
"Since when?!" cried Jack.
"Didn't you know?" Hannah turned to him, raising a finger. "Not explaining the rules properly is GameLit one-oh-one."
"That's completely untrue! You can't just take all of your examples from card game anime!"
"Watch me."
Lydia slammed a card down atop her King. "Ride, the Emperor!" Illuminating the entire room, a pillar of light erupted from her King, morphing and shaping itself into something else. "Evolve, and come forth: Blade Master Sky!"
Jack's mouth was a line. "It's just more FF, isn't it?"
The glow subsided, revealing a young boy with spiky brown hair, wearing shorts and a t-shirt – and wielding a sword which looked like it belonged in a particular part of a door.
Jack threw his head back. "Oi, one of these things is not like the others! Why did your deck change to something completely different?"
"Actually," said Hannah, "I think you'll find that Cube Enix were partners in the KH games."
"It makes no difference!"
"There were even crossover characters," said Russ, leaning back in a chair with a beer.
"Shut up!"
Gamey scoffed. "But even with Sky's battle power of twenty-five, you won't be able to beat me this turn, and with Alugard's skill, it's all over!"
"You think?" One corner of her mouth inched up. "I activate Sky's skill: when I ride him on an FF unit-"
Jack pointed at her. "Right there! This game acknowledges that it's a rip-off!"
"I can call that unit from his Ancestry!" she continued.
Hannah nodded enthusiastically. "I don't know what half of those words mean, but this is awesome."
Cl**d materialised next to Sky, twirling his oversized sword in front of him.
"So what?" said Gamey, crinkling his nose. "Cl**d only has a power of eighteen, so he can't stand up to Alugard's Guardian skill! Next turn, I'll-"
"There is no next turn." Lydia grinned, showing sharp incisors. "Don't you realise that power isn't everything in this game? I give Cl**d three mako energy, and when he's servant to an Emperor, I can use three to activate his skill!"
Flinching, Gamey stared at the glowing servant with wide eyes. "No... impossible... nobody's ever been able to activate that before!"
"You're really pushing it here," said Jack, flaring his nostrils. "What's with the bombardment of cliches?"
"Most importantly," said Hannah, her voice full of wonder, "shouldn't a champion know all these things?"
"No, that's not important at all."
Lydia allowed a giddiness to overtake her, fighting the urge to bounce in her seat as she became assured of her victory. Finally. Once she had Jess, she could get out of that filthy city, and return home to their Kensington estate. From there, she would show up her mother and take over the family, growing into the power that was her birthright. Then, maybe a holiday, if Jess was well enough.
"Now," she said, "Cl**d performs his Limit Break, Finishing Touch!" He held up his sword, yelling as a wind picked up around him, blowing ever harder until it whipped at his hair and clothes. Without warning, all of the servants next to Noka were sucked in, being shredded to oblivion.
Gamey's eyes were like dinner plates. "Impossible..."
Lydia chuckled. Just like in life, striking the final, crushing blow was the best part of FMK: TC. "Since you have no more servants to protect you, Cl**d will attack your King!" The swordsman rushed forward, slashing the vampire and eliciting a yelp as she flipped away.
"Gamey's life points: nine."
But as soon as she landed, Sky was beside her, swinging his humongous key. The jagged edge lodged in her stomach, and she gurgled.
"Gamey's life points: zero. Lydia wins."
The holograms blinked from existence, and Lydia threw the chair from beneath her, stalking around the table to a gesticulating Gamey. "Okay, scumbag, we made a deal. Now, tell me where Jess is before I drag you outside!"
Jack threw up his arms. "Why didn't you just do that to begin with?"
Stumbling from his chair, Gamey stammered. "Ah, yes, well, you see, the thing is-"
"Stop wasting the word count!"
"I'm sorry!" he said, holding his hands up as Lydia invaded his space. "I don't actually know."
It took every ounce of restraint she had not to maul him. "What do you mean, you don't know! You're one of the New Bloods, aren't you?"
"Well, technically." He looked away. "But we moved hideouts recently, and I've not been able to get anyone to tell me where the new one is. I rather suspect they did it to get rid of me."
"Wonder why," said Jack.
Something cracked inside her, and she slumped to her knees. "What did I go through all that for, then?"
Gamey gestured. "Well, you had fun, didn't you? Forged a bond with a fellow Future- holy shit, get away from me!"
She had sprung to her feet, frothing as the feeling of pointlessness overwhelmed her. She was nowhere. She rushed forward, flailing, and hacking at him with her eyes.
"Would this help?" Hannah had peeled away from the group, towards the crack in the far wall. She was straddling the back of the small, wispy-haired vampire whom Russ had knocked out in one blow, and holding his arms behind his back.
Jack furrowed his brow. "When did you do that?"
Lydia strode over, deigning to look at Hannah as she gestured her off him. She wasn't about to thank a vampire. As Hannah stepped aside, Lydia lifted the vampire to his feet, grappling his arms and marching him towards the fire exit.
She ignored his groaning.
"Aren't you charming?" said Hannah, pouting.
Manhandling him, she dragged the vampire outside, into a dimly-lit car park with high fences and a light scattering of vehicles. She threw him to his knees.
Punching him in the jaw, she said, "where are you keeping my sister!?"
He grinned at her, blood trickling from his mouth.
"You know," said Jack from the doorway, "this was always an option."
Of course the peanut gallery had followed her. It didn't matter. She punched the vampire again, his giggling sending fire racing through her veins. Grabbing his collar, she put her face next to his. "Tell me where she is, or I'll pulverise you!"
"Don't threaten me with a good time," said the vampire, winking.
Raising her foot, she growled, driving it into his face and grinding it into the tarmac.
"Thank you!" he moaned, repeating himself like it was his guiding mantra.
"This is getting kind of freaky." Hannah winced, her tone anxious. "Can we really do this?"
Jack eyed her incredulously. "After everything that just went on, this is where you draw the line?"
Lydia straightened, an idea popping into her head. She was promising to take away the pain if he gave up the answers, but that wasn't going to work. She had to flip her thinking.
Picking him up, she marched him back towards the door, turning her head to Russ. "Excuse me, bear-man-"
"It's Russ." He was leaning against the door-frame, puffing on a cigarette.
"Yes, whatever. Do your wards function in your cellar?"
Russ looked them up and down, eyebrows higher than Snoop Dogg on a talk show. "Pretty sure that this won't register as violence."
***
Jack, Hannah, and Russ were sitting around a table, close to the bar, drinks in front of each of them. There were also myriad empty glasses before Jack.
"All I'm shaying," he slurred, "ish that it'sh wrong for the pro-pro-for the main character to not have a POV for two full chapters!"
Lydia marched back in, alone, and headed straight for the front door.
Staggering from his seat, Jack blocked her path, and stuck a finger towards her chest. "Oi, lishten here, you. I-I'm the pruhtagonisht, you hear?" He jabbed his thumb at himself. "Me!"
Her face deformed in disgust at the boozy smell emanating from him. She opened her mouth, but he cut her off.
By falling on his face.
She shook her head, tuning out the obnoxious snoring as she continued on her path.
And was blocked by a beach ball.
"Jack filled me in," said Russ, scratching his head, "and we can't let this sort of thing fly. So, it's probably easier if we work together."
She huffed. "Why would I want to work with a bunch of mangy shifters? Get out of my way."
He sighed. "You can't even use magic, and your sister has value as a hostage. Tonight or tomorrow won't make much difference."
She grit her teeth. He had a point; without magic, she'd have the same effect on them as tax laws on corporations. She could save it for the morning. Then, she'd get Jess back, and leave Blackpool behind her for good. "Fine."
Russ nodded, handing her a piece of paper. "Good. And one more thing."
She took the sheet, wishing for the first time in her life that she'd just listened to her mother. It was a bill.
Her eyes bugged at the number.
"How can three people drink this much?!" She looked between them, her eyes finally resting on the unconscious Jack.
Not three people.
Scrunching it up in her hands, she growled.
She wasn't going to pay, but he would.