The next day could only be described as the personification of hell. I was woken up at five AM in the morning for physical conditioning that consisted of calisthenics, running and combat exercises. My training was overseen by Derek, Ayleanna and Kyoko in order to get me acclimated to the kind of stress I'd be under in the field for my mission. Kyoko was my hand to hand combat instructor who taught me various Japanese martial arts as well as weaponry forms with her specialty being the three sectioned staff. Kyoko was patient yet firm with her instructions.
"Picture the weapon as an extension of your body and not just a tool to use," She said, demonstrating flawlessly.
I did my best to mimic her movements but it was rather difficult and I always ended up whacking myself in the ribs or face with the staff, amusing her to no end. She acted like an older sister teaching her younger brother something new and finding joy in his cute attempts to be like her.
"Maybe I'm just not a weapons kinda guy, Kyo," I said tiredly. "I just don't have the hand eye coordination for it."
Kyoko chuckled at my nickname for her and came over to where I was sitting with my back against the wall. She sat down beside me and ruffled my hair playfully, smiling kindly at me. I tried to smile back but my heart just wasn't in it. I wanted so desperately to be able to get better but it's like my body just wouldn't listen to me and it was stressing me out. I could feel myself starting to overthink when I felt my left cheek was suddenly being pinched and pulled, causing me to yelp. Glancing over, Kyoko had my cheek in between her index finger and thumb, her eyes narrowed as she continued to pinch and pull at my face.
"Cut it out, sis!" I said, swatting her hand away.
"Why do you do that?" She asked, her tone soft and curious.
Confused, I asked, "Do what?"
"Get in your own head when things aren't working out for you," She responded. "It's obvious so I wanna know why."
I sighed. "I don't know….I've always been like this. I'm…. I'm a naturally anxious person. My whole life I've struggled with control and being able to find a solution to things and when I can't…I freak out or my mind goes into overdrive."
"Sounds a bit unhealthy if you ask me," Kyoko quipped. "That mindset isn't going to get you far at all. You can't control everything that happens in life, so focus on what you can control for the time being. Stressing out about it isn't going to anything but drive you insane. Take it one step at a time and everything else will fall into place how you want it to."
I frowned. That was basically the same as leaving everything to chance and I didn't know if I could do that. My life was structured. Every action I took was calculated and precise, never allowing any mishaps or mistakes to occur and ruin that structure. But Kyoko….she was telling me to just let things happen as they're meant to instead of trying to control every aspect of my life. It would be difficult for me but maybe….just maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to do that.
"I'll try," I said finally. "Can't make any promises, though."
Kyoko nodded. "It'll take some time but you're smart, you'll figure it out."
She nudged my shoulder playfully then took on a serious expression as she looked me in the eyes.
"What can you tell me about Alexis?" Kyoko asked. "What exactly are we up against here?"
I sighed. I had a feeling this question would come up sooner or later. I was the only one with intimate knowledge about Alexis and just exactly what she was capable of and I knew that was the main reason that Mr Knight had recruited me for the mission to take her down. I was their inside man, their mole.
"She's dangerous," I said quietly. "She's a master manipulator and highly persuasive. She can make you think that she cares about you but in reality, you're nothing but another piece on her chessboard and with her intelligence, there's a lot of ways for her to move you around."
"What's her level?" Kyoko inquired.
"Omega," I answered immediately. "Her parents are omegas as well. Her dad can manipulate time and her mom can manipulate gravity to devastating levels."
Kyoko hummed thoughtfully. "Can you beat her?"
I shrugged. "I doubt it. She's a trained martial artist like me but her training was more extensive. She skilled enough that she never feels pushed to use her ability in a fight."
Kyoko snorted. "She sounds like an overconfident bitch."
I laughed at that. She wasn't wrong but it was funny hearing Kyoko swear so flippantly. Alexis' overconfidence was warranted to extent. She had never lost a fight and was virtually untouchable due to her having a contingency for anything that went wrong. If she lost one of her pieces on her board, she was able to use the remaining ones to achieve her objective. Which is exactly what made her so dangerous; she was always three steps ahead of her enemies in every way.
"Kyoko, have you….have you ever taken a life before?" I asked.
She didn't answer right away but I heard her let out a deep sigh that seemed full of regret. She stared into space for a bit, chewing her bottom lip contemplatively as she focused on something that I couldn't see. I instantly regretting asking but I figured she was the best person to ask in order to find a solution to the moral problem that had been plaguing my mind since meeting Director Abina. I didn't have it in me to take a life because my parents had taught me that all life was important but Alexis was a threat to the safety of the city and maybe even the world if she wasn't stopped. After what seemed like an eternity Kyoko finally spoke but her voice was low and hollow, a stark contrast to her usual carefree snark.
"I took several lives once, during my early years with the Sentinels, but it wasn't supposed to go the way it did," she said, her expression haunted.
"W-what happened?" I asked, stuttering slightly.
Kyoko sighed wearily. "It was a sting operation in Rockford, Illinois. I went in to apprehend a trafficker and things got hectic. My ability lets me manipulate shadows but I can also possess people through their own shadows and control them. Long story short, I possessed a guy who had a gun aimed at one of the victims but the gun had already fired and killed her so in a fit of rage…. I made him take out all his accomplices while I possessed him then made him turn the gun on himself. By the time it was over, the ground was littered with dead bodies and I was placed under psychological monitoring to be sure that I was still sane enough to perform my duties."
I gulped. So that was the Rockford Incident that Mr Knight had mentioned to me in the hospital that day. I could understand her rage but even so…it was difficult to picture that side of Kyoko that was pushed far enough to take a life out of injustice but then again, I had almost been willing to do the same a few months back when I fought Braxton so who was I to judge? But I could tell that it still haunted her even though it was so long ago. Regardless of whether they were criminals, taking a life wasn't something to get over so easily. I had heard stories of military personnel having post traumatic stress and nightmares after killing someone even though they had been defending themselves or protecting innocent people.
"What made you ask?" Kyoko said, looking at me curiously.
I took a deep breath. "When I spoke with Director Abina the other day, she said that the only way to stop Alexis…was to kill her."
"But you think there's another way," Kyoko said somberly.
I nodded. "I'm not a killer, Kyo. I mean, yeah, she has to be stopped but is killing her really the only real option I have?"
Kyoko didn't answer at first. She studied my face as if she was looking for something then sighed and shook her head chuckling lowly.
"You remind me of someone I knew. You have that same pure spark in your eyes that wants to see the good in everyone," she said, her tone bittersweet.
"The truth of the matter, though, Josiah? The hardest part of this job is having to make a decision that benefits the greater good. And if that decision involves taking the life of a girl who could potentially become a threat to not just the city but the world, then that's the only way to go. Don't let your personal feelings cloud your judgment; you have to stop her at all costs. Even if it means taking her life. So what's the logical choice: take one life to save thousands or save one life and possibly sacrifice billions? You choose," Kyoko said, looking at me grimly before leaving.
I sighed heavily. Just what the hell was I going to do? The choice was difficult and I knew that I would have to make that decision in order to do what needed to be done but what if I couldn't? What if I hesitated and ended up making everything worse? I ran my hands through my hair and leaned my head back against the wall in frustration. It was a moral dilemma. Did I kill Alexis and save the city and live with her blood on my hands? Or did I risk trying to redeem her and possibly endanger the lives of everyone? What was I supposed to do? I could feel myself beginning to hyperventilate as my one raced until I felt a hand on my head, causing me to look up at the face of Mr Knight, his brow furrowed with fatherly concern.
"Let's go for a walk and get some air," he said, offering me a hand. "You look like you could use a talk."