Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. That was a very popular phrase. One that Kai had heard many times over the years. No one ever answered him what beauty was? What made someone beautiful in the eyes of another? How could we define beauty? He had wondered that many times. Was beauty supposed to make you feel anything ? He had wondered about that too because no matter how many incredibly handsome and pretty people he met he didn't feel anything. The more he lived, the more questions he had about that specific topic that didn't seem to have an answer.
Today though, as he stood in that small and narrow corridor of his apartment, as he stared right in front of him at the man who stood before him all those questions seemed to fade. They were pointless and any kind of philosophical wonder about aesthetics was stupid. Kai suddenly knew what beauty was, he knew how it made him feel.
He was beauty. Now, before and in the future Philip had been the only person Kai had thought of as purely beautiful. He was tall, with raven colored hair, a faint tint of blue in them. His eyes a brown mixed with green, earthy tones that always made him feel comfortable and at peace. The symmetry of his characteristics and the soft curls landing on his forehead. He was beautiful. During the morning as the sun hit his face, during the night underneath the cold and distant moon. He was always perfect and just that drove Kai insane. Yes, beauty made you feel things. Beautiful objects, beautiful people, beautiful sceneries were like a breath of fresh air in the dullness of life. That's why humans were so obsessed with it, going after it and trying so hard to define it.
Kai didn't need to search anymore. Right before him stood his definition of beauty.
"Why are you here?" Philip's voice echoed in the quiet hallway.
"In my house?" Kai asked.
"I mean here. Here where I am."
"Because I was heading to my room. The exit is the other way. Also don't smoke here." He told him, noticing the cigarette that burned red in between his fingers.
"The smell bothers you?" Philip asked with no obvious intention of putting it off.
"Yes. That's why you need to go and smoke outside." He said. Philip grinned and threw the cigarette on the ground, putting it off with his boots, leaving the trash there. Kai frowned, seeing the little mess he had created. "You are a jerk" he told him. His attitude made it a bit easier for him to talk. He looked like Philip but he didn't act like him. He was completely different and that acted like a remedy of some sort. A way for Kai to distance himself, not make the mistake and expose his biggest weakness, his love.
"I am a jerk to those who annoy me."
"I haven't wronged you in any way" Kai said, crossing his arms over his chest.
"You're a vampire. That's enough for me." Philip said.
"Oh, I see. You are so immature to allow yourself and get brainwashed by ideas thousands of years old. Of course." Kai told him and Philip grinned.
"I don't know what you think you're doing by calling me old-fashioned but believe me little prince. The things I've seen in this world are nothing like what you saw in your little castle." He said.
Was this his way of sounding tough? Kai didn't know. His face though didn't show any hints of being cocky. He looked disappointed as he thought, remembering the instances he was referring to. Different worlds, probably.
"I've lived here for two hundred years. I think I know what is going on."
"Why would someone like you leave home?"
"That is none of your business."
"That too? Like the reason why you were standing outside my room is none of my business?" He asked him. Kai frowned, he felt pressured. It was obvious Philip was trying to get the conversation to a point where he would be forced to tell him what he was doing there. He may not act like him but he looked exactly the same. Kai could easily be turned into a fool by him if he wanted to.
"Yes. Now please move to the side. I need to get to my room." He told him and took a step forward. Philip moved unwillingly, knowing that he wouldn't be getting an answer from him.
"This whole calm act of yours is truly annoying." The werewolf told him and Kai froze. His hand was on the doorknob when he heard his words. Calm, yes. That was what he was trying to be but with every word Philip seemed to annoy him even more. He was trying, he was trying so hard and he was there pushing and pushing until he broke.
The knob got ruined, deforming in his palm and the vampire turned his head, meeting his eyes once again. This time though he wasn't cold as ice, he was annoyed.
"What the heck do you know?" He asked him, caughting him off guard. "I have been trying so hard. You have no idea how hard to simply be and then you appear right in front of me telling me what? That the way I've lived my life for the last hundreds of years is annoying? You're annoying. You and your fucking attitude. Stop sticking your nose in other people's business." He told him and smacked the door open. Philip stood quiet for a while surprised by this little outburst.
"You have a lot of things pent up I see." He told him, making fun of him and Kai scoffed.
"Fuck off."
"It would be my pleasure. I have a date after this anyways."
"A what?" Kai asked.
"A date. Maybe sleeping with someone would do you good. You know, blow off some steam.", He said with a grin and Kai's blue eyes widened. He was not having this conversation with him, not right now. He stared at him, deadly and scanned his face searching for the best place to punch when his eyes landed on his neck.
His anger disappeared, as if it never existed when he noticed the little mark. The small tattoo shaped like a half moon. It was there, right there like it had always been and Kai felt his heart break.
"That…" he said and pointed at the tattoo, his hand shaking. Philip grabbed his neck, hiding the mark.
"What about it?"
What about it? Philip was right. Why was Kai concerned about the tattoo he himself had designed, created on his skin with magic? Why would he even care? Kai smiled, bitter with Philip's words. He couldn't blame him though. He had no right to, he didn't know anything.
"Nothing. It's nothing." Kai said and entered his room. Closing the door right in Philip's face, not caring to hear anymore.
He was a mess, he thought as he landed on his bed, hiding his face between the cold pillows. An utter mess. He was annoyed with him, with the fact that he wasn't the Philip he knew. He loved his face, that he did look like his lover but he felt threatened by it. He didn't like hearing that he had a date but he didn't want to try and approach him and then there was the tattoo, reminding him of that time. Of the time he was happy.
Kai cried, dumping his pillows as he remembered moments he now hated bringing back. He had loved Philip with all his might, all his power. He was the prince but the wolf before him was being worshipped and now he stood once again before him but Kai couldn't love him. He couldn't even approach him because of the past.
Because of this curse and the blood he could still see in his hands.
A knock was heard on his door, the creaking followed and footsteps stopped as they reached his side.
"I'm sorry. I didn't know." Lun's voice was heard.
"I just hate this. I hate it. Seeing him and not being able to tell him. Being too scared to be hated. I can't even explain to him what happened. He won't believe me." Kai cried.
"Kai. It's not worth it. Live your life. He is living his. The past is over. You've seen it, he is a jerk. Come on. Get up. They left and I am taking you and John out. A new bar opened for supernaturals. You'll like it."
"I don't like bars." Kai said, still hidden in the pillows.
"You like bars."
"No."
"Get up Kai. I am here now. Your hundred years of self pity are done."
"Leave me alone to cry in peace."
"I will take only John out. Imagine. Me with a newbie werewolf. The things I can do to him." Lun said. At the sound of that Kai jumped up.
"No. Wait. I'll get dressed." He told him.
....
Lun is the kind of friend who thinks moving on is getting drunk. I love him.
Hello! how did you like this chapter. I feel like you would wish for their relationship to go a bit faster but I want things to be smooth.
Please leave a nice comment and a vote.
Also beware, a big secret will be revealed soon!