"Mama don't go. Please don't leave me." Winter screamed, crying as she held her mother's lifeless body in her arms. But there was no response.
Opening her eyes. Winter set up on the bed. Her breathing was labored. Her body was covered in sweat. Her eyes were full of tears. Once again she'd this nightmare. Every time she closed her eyes and sleep she see the same nightmare of the day her mother committed suicide. A painful memory that she can never forget.
Helping herself to stand up. Winter started to look in the room for the tools for her next fix. Looking through her things, She was finally able to find everything. With everything in hand. She walked out of the room towards the bathroom. Placing everything on the tub rim. She turned on the faucet to fill the tub.
Winter was about to inject the needle into her arm but she noticed that her arms were sore and full of infected wounds. Removing her clothes. She injected the needle into her thigh. It wasn't the first time she did it. She had injected herself into different parts of her body.
Sitting in the bathtub. She closed her eyes enjoying the feeling of ecstasy that started to spread in her body reaching to her brain. Winter let out a satisfied sigh. The thing that she loves the most about doing cocaine. Is it the ability to numb the pain and make her forget about everything even for just a short time? When it's in her system. Nothing matters at the time. Nothing except for the temporary high and happiness. It makes her feel confident and forget about her lack of self-confidence.
To Winter. Cocaine enhances the quality of her life. Make everything at one hundred percent. She can be better. Do things faster. Be confident. The only thing that worries her is the financial income and how will continue to pay it. Her part-time job doesn't allow her to buy the best quality. The pure quality.
Fifi had told her that she needed to find another job or another way. She was trying to find another job but as for the other way she is refusing it. She couldn't even accept the idea of using her body to get the money. Winter is aware that her friend was sleeping around with rich guys and getting paid. She never judged her but it doesn't mean that she isn't aware of it.
Taking a deep breath. Winter immersed her body into the water. She always does this when her thoughts are tangled or if she is restless about something. It helps her to calm and the mood.
Rising herself to the water surface. She released the breath that she was holding under the water."All better. I'm fine. I'm not losing control. Stay focused." She muttered under her breath these words to assure herself. She always says these words to remind herself that she is in control of the drug. The drug is not controlling her.