Currently, I'm "living" with some friends. Things are really coming together and I'm starting to settle down. Tomorrow's always another day and they kept me hopeful. It's almost my 23rd birthday. My blood sworn brother's mother and sister were in a predicament. Emilia was off furthering her education while her mother, Belle was taking care of her two boys. The father was rarely in the picture and there mom was extremely young when she had them. Gramma was always there so when the opportunity for Emilia to have a better future, they took it. About half a year into her studies, her mother's significant other began to lose his sanity. They placed him in an institution for a time and this made the household lose their income.
Up until now I had been living it up. I'd helped a lot of people over the years but this time it was different. Their were children involved and they were like my nephews. Belle had been a street mom to our gang through the years. There was no way I was leaving them when her door was always open to me . When I heard about there predicament, I made her an offer. A deal to benefit us both. Give me what money you've got left and a room for me to call my own and we'll make this work. And we did.
I worked "full time" now and took the level to new heights. Things were looking up. A clean room, a nice car and finally, some sense of accomplishment. I just couldn't get a relationship. I'd been single almost my entire life and at 22, that did a lot of damage to your heart.
I finally broke down one day. The voices wouldn't be clear so I could understand them not would they just stop. I kept feeling all sorts of weird sensations that freaked me out. I'd kept it in and held true for years but having my own place, so much money and being pretty in shape... and still... nothing? I lost my sense of worth. This is when I tried to end my misery.
I ended up jumping out of this mindset. Literally. I almost got run over and only snapped awake when it was almost too late. Instinct took over and I swear I was Superman for a whole .5 seconds! Haha. I was so enthralled with my superhuman feat that I forgot why I was even in that predicament!
After this realization I just went home and life resumed. It was like the rush from the near death experience nulled my depression. For a while anyway...
Given new I inspiration, I decided to try some new things. I even crazily decided to get a dog. Kay was a pitbull that was basically abandoned. My big ole heart couldn't bear to see him live like he was so... I stole him.
No matter how I flirted or joked I couldn't for the life of me get a date. Thankfully Kay gave me a routine that kept me plenty busy. Regardless, I started to "fall from grace." I'd only ever been in it for the fun and to be there for my friends and family. Now, there was something on the line and it actually became work. The constant choices I had to make started to overwhelm me. The peace started to fade. People took advantage of me and got mad when I began to demand my worth instead of spoon-feeding them. I even lost my best friend and adopted family who where more to me then my own blood.
Growing up me and KJ were inseperetable. Everything my dad took me out to do he was there with us. We did everything together and I trusted him with my life. We were basically two heads to one person and I only wanted to see him get on his feet again. I had him move in with me and gave him part of my business hoping he'd grow into his own and it'd work out for the better for both of us. It was easy work and it wasn't set schedule demanding so it was the perfect fit.
I never even saw it coming.... What ended up going down was KJ got with Belle, took over my home and broke my trust. We'd had fights before before but never had he just did me dirty. So him and Belle fought off and on, rapidly getting worse and worse. Belle ended up turning on me too and turned off our power. At this point, I didn't know that he was stealing my clientele too. Turns out I had no part in it and years later she told me she never even thought about how it affected me. It wasn't intentional and she apologized. Go figure.
I seemed to keep being hopeful and just keeping my best foot forward. And it was killing me.