Mother finally relinquished the books she held and turned my attention to the thin, plain-looking book that bore Grimkeeper's name. Within two hours I had read through the entire thing. I was left both confused and intrigued. I had known that Grimkeeper had written a book more from hearsay than anything else but I was never told what kind of book it was. I was expecting something having to do with the founding of the El'sui, Grimkeeper's crowning achievement, but instead - while there were tangential references to the El'sui - it seemed to be more of a logbook. Each entry seemed to detail a single day with most being a few words such as 'boarded a ship bound for Bospor' or 'rested in Elmford' but some described the feats of he and his party while working as El'sui. Some of the stories were so unbelievable that I would have thought them tall tales had he not been so matter-of-fact in his recounting of the events. One entry saw Grimkeeper and his companions defend a small village from an army of bandits 200 strong. Another described how he managed to defeat a Balrog by single handedly stalling it at a mountain pass while a mage in his party named Alice caused an avalanche and crushed the monster. Each entry of combat seemed straight out of legend yet Grimkeeper penned them as if it was simply a day's work.
'Is this the power of a Shade?' I thought to myself.
It seemed incredible to think that he was just a normal man, a goldeneye yes, but still no more inherently powerful than any other citizen of Aema.
The logbook ended with a single line:
'Alice has perished. I am finished.'
There seemed to be such finality in that statement. He had noted other party members dying over the years but never so morbidly.
'Was Alice different?'
Flipping back through the book, I noticed that his descriptions of her parts in any battle were always more detailed.
'Almost as if he were paying extra attention to her… I suppose they must have been lovers. It wouldn't be the kind of thing he would put in the party logbook but I can tell by the way he writes about her.'
Flipping back to the final line, it now seemed even more grim. I found myself feeling more than a twinge of sorrow for this pair of heroes, torn apart more than 500 years ago. I gently closed the book with some more reverence than I opened it originally.
My mother seemed to still be reading a book of history as I quietly got up, leaving Grimkeeper's log on the table.
"You can go play now if you want to but don't make any trouble for the palace staff. They're overworked enough as it is." she assented.
I smiled gratefully at her and dashed towards the door, keen to get my mind off the tragic story.
Once again I found myself in the maze of corridors that made up the palace, this time with no one to guide me. After much wandering I eventually located an exit and found myself back in the main courtyard. With nothing better to do and no desire to reenter the labyrinth, I chose instead to explore the palace from the outside, which seemed to be designed much more simplistically. Walking around the outside of the massive building, I observed that the palace was made up of three wings of roughly equal size, each sticking out like spokes of a wheel at at equal distances and ending before the reached the surrounding castle wall. This essentially meant that the palace-proper divided the circular keep into three open wedge-shaped areas. The first of these by the main gates was the courtyard, the second housed the royal gardens, and the third had a few small building scattered around it with a large arena or stadium at the center. Placed along the wall in the latter space were also the barracks of the Royal Guards. From wall to wall the entire palace grounds were nearly half a mile wide. I skirted around the edge of the arena, looking over the surrounding buildings. As I peered into an archery range I saw a tall figure out of the corner of my eye.
"Pa!"I called.
He turned, spotting me instantly, and walked over.
Eyeing me suspiciously for a moment he asked,
Shouldn't you be studying with your mother? She'll tan your hide if she finds you slacking off."
I faked indignation at his suspicions.
"I wasn't aware that you had such a low opinion of your own son."
I sniffed, conjuring the snootiest air I could muster.
"I will have you know that I have completed my studies for the day and been justly released from my confinement."
Father raised a single eyebrow.
"You want something don't you?" he said.
I blushed.
'Am I really that transparent?'
"Whenever you're preparing to beg for something you become ten times more loquacious in a feeble attempt at distraction." he explained.
'Damn it all! I have a tell. How did I never notice?'
Also I had to remember to ask Mother what loquacious meant. From the context I was pretty sure my tell was simply acting like a prick.
I took a deep breath and ran through my arguments and strategies to convince Father once more.
'No point in stalling further I suppose.'
"Father I want you to train me to-"
"No."
"W-what?"
"If you are asking me to teach you how to fight then the answer is no."
All rhetoric and logic flew from my addled brain.
"B-but why not? I promise I will be diligent. I will be a model pupil. I-"
"It has nothing to do with that. I do not doubt you but the answer remains. You cannot become an El'sui."
"Then what?!" I snapped "Can't you at least give me a reason?"
He hesitated for a moment and then said,
"Your heritage does not allow for it. I'm sorry Calin but I will not be moved on this. Pursue something else. This is probably just some passing fancy anyway."
I glared at him furiously but didn't retort. Seeing that I had no more words he politely, but stiffly, bade me farewell and promptly walked away, never once looking back.
I spent the rest of the day in a huff, angrily kicking at the ground and restlessly walking around in circles. I was hopelessly bored but too spiteful to consider entertaining myself. Some infantile part of me seemed to believe that me wallowing in my misery would somehow act as an effective vengeance on Father. It didn't, of course, and over the course of the following week my head cooled to a dull simmer. I still sent my father the occasional glare but gradually anger was replaced by determination.
'If he thinks I can't then all I have to do is prove him wrong, exceed every false expectation he has of me. If I demonstrate my resolve he will eventually relent.'
I didn't know how to actually accomplish that but I could be patient.
Mother's lessons helped keep my mind off of Father's lack thereof. She continued to teach all of us history, literature, etiquette, arithmetic, and Bosporish. The latter was probably the simplest of our lessons as we were already quite fluent having grown up with her speaking it to us. Mother was native to Bospor, her human heritage evident in her emerald green eyes. This made all of us children not entirely goldeneye though it was only evidenced in me and Sparrow. Her eyes were a distinctly human dark brown, bordering on black, matching her hair, while my own were a heterochromatic mix of my parents'. My left eye was the same emerald green of my mother while my right identified me as a goldeneye, or half of one at least.
Along with the Bosporish came a small smattering of Imperial, which we all despised apart from Jenny who took to it like a fish to water. Once the grueling language drills were over, my afternoons were usually free. I had learned from my first day of restlessness however and was sure to read in the library until I could coincide my exit with one of my siblings' so I could have a companion in exploration. After all, even the most interesting of locales would always be wearisome when one was alone. This companion usually ended up being Jenny, Sparrow, or both as Evan had ingratiated himself with one of the seamstresses in the palace and spent his time under her tutelage. From the way he spoke of her I had a sneaking suspicion that he would have liked to be under her in a different manner as well. Amber on the other hand seemed determined to make the most of her newfound freedom, spending every free moment exploring Aema and seemingly getting to know every person within a mile radius both within and out of the palace. No doubt she also spent a great deal of time flirting with, or rather making light of, the many amorous young men that seemed drawn to her like moths to flame. Like said moths, the boys inevitably left more than lightly singed by Amber's wit. I may have felt worried about her carefree attitude were I not so entirely confident in her good sense and intelligence.
On this particular day I was impatiently waiting for Jenny to finish her (no doubt priceless) illuminated book of fairy tales so we could go climb some of the taller trees of the palace garden. The young girl seemed entirely enraptured by her reading though and didn't seem to notice my irritated glares. Sparrow, for her part, was quietly napping, her face buried in my side, and I didn't have the heart to wake her. My salvation came in an unexpected form however as Evan subtly tapped my shoulder and gestured for me to follow. I got up with a confused expression but decided to follow him. Once we had left the mandated silence of the library he shot me a grin and said,
"I've got something I think you'll like."
He led me back to what I liked to call the Arena Complex but was actually referred to as the Royal Facilities which managed to be simultaneously less exciting and less informative. I hadn't been back since my argument with Father. I still felt a little sore about it as the setting reminded me but decided to ignore it in favor of mimicking Evan's good mood. As we walked he explained somewhat.
"Morgan told me that this building isn't really used much by the guards or the nobles for practice but that it is still fully equipped and furnished . Isn't she she so thoughtful! Clearly pretty observant too. You gotta admire an intelligent woman like that don't you agree?!"
"Yeah, sure." I said half-heartedly, trying my utmost not to encourage him. The last thing I needed was to hear my elder brother extoll the virtues of some seamstress he was lusting after. I also noted how he failed to mention what the building was actually used for but that quickly became apparent when we reached our destination. It was a training room like many others in the complex however the primary difference was a thick layer of dust on the weapon racks against the walls. Oddly enough, the floor was entirely clean but I didn't think to make anything of that. Aside from that, the only differences I could see were the tatami flooring and a ladder in the corner that probably led to an attic or loft. My attention was quickly snagged by the rows of weapons on either wall. There were staves, spears, glaives, polearms, and even a few maces, as well as wooden counterparts used for sparring. Swords were conspicuously absent from the bladed half of the rack but I suppose even in a palace they weren't foolish enough to leave a blade worth its weight in silver just lying around. It was a shame. I had never seen a true Aeman sword before, even if I was sure that Father owned one.
Evan turned to me.
"Well, what do you think ? You're the one who wants to be an El'sui right? Well I thought I would kick your ass a few times while I'm still able. I just know you're going to rub my face in it when you are some legendary warrior."
I laughed. Even if his words about becoming an El'sui stung somewhat, I knew that he hadn't meant them to. Evan plucked two of the wooden practice spears from the wall rack and tossed one over to me. I caught on immediately and got into a laughable approximation of a combat stance. We poked and batted at one another with our glorified sticks for around 10 minutes. I was the first to grow impatient. Waiting for his inevitable lunge, I hopped to the side and - dropping the useless spear - barrelled into him. He too seemed to realize that our farce was an exercise in futility and dropped his own as well. After half an hour of headlocks, knees, elbows, pulled hair, or any other dirty trick we could think to pull, both of us had thoroughly exhausted ourselves, though perhaps I more than him.
"You put up a good fight you vicious little bastard." Evan panted out.
I grinned even if I knew it was a lie. He had been holding himself back more than a slight amount. After all, there was only so much a 9 year old could do to a 17 year old and the gap in strength was just as significant in goldeneyes as in humans. Yet he had still brought me here in an effort to lift my spirits, knowing that he would just be humoring me the whole time.
"Thanks brother." I said, smiling sincerely for the first time in days.
"Not a problem bugger - however I do need to be getting off to see Morgan. She's showing me a new type of seaming stitch. Apparently it's meant to be less abrasive and the outward facing seam is nearly invisible!"
He turned to me
"You coming?"
"I think I might lie here for a bit to catch my breath. I'm still a bit winded"
"Well I'll see you at dinner."
I waved him off and let my head fall back down onto the tatami. I felt my eyelids drift shut.
'Just a 5 minute nap…."
When I awoke it was dark. I could tell even without opening my eyes that many hours had passed. I groaned inwardly. Mother was probably tearing her hair out wondering what had become of me and the thought of her maternal fury when she realized I had been napping was not the most comforting imagining. It almost made me want to go back to sleep if only to avoid that conversation a while longer however that would simply exacerbate the issue. Instead, through sheer force of will I managed to pry open my eyelids with a sigh.
A pair of golden eyes peered into my own.