I entered my house and realized my stomach was screaming at me. I looked at the clock. 3:40pm, I got time. I thought to myself. I was always hungry. I go to the kitchen to try to find something to tame the beast. Guess Pizza Rolls and Ranch will have to do. I pop them into the microwave and wait for them to get done. I put the Ranch on my plate and grabbed a Mtn Dew. I walked into the living room to sit and eat. Oh, did I mention that my mother was also a hoarder and so our kitchen table was piled with junk. I turned on the TV and started watching Ridiculousness. That show really cracks me up. I finished eating and threw my paper plate and soda can away. I walked to the bathroom and took another shower. Once done I wrapped my hair in one towel and my body in another. I headed to my room. On the way I passed by my mother's room and I had a moment of sadness. "Why do I have to have such a messed up mother?" I said aloud. I want to feel sad for her but to be honest I am angry. It's not fair that I have to be the mother while she gets to be the child. She should be home in a couple days and then I'll have to deal with her drama once again. She wasn't always this way. She was my best friend at one point in time. We would go shopping together and out to the movies, rollerblading, road trips, or even just sit on the bed talking about anything and everything. I missed that version of her. I have had to grow up so fast even learning how to cook, clean, cash checks and get money orders to pay bills since she wouldn't. Even that she made hard. One time I was cleaning and threw away a broken pen. "I was going to use that!" she screams in a rage. I remember laughing at her while asking "what exactly would you use a broken pen for?" She was crazy but my mother none the less. I made it to my room and put my lotion and deodorant on. I dried my long hair that just frizzed out everywhere. "What should I wear?' I said out loud to myself. Yes, I talk to myself. Don't judge. I mean really what should I wear? I don't have much experience with boys, especially older boys. The most I've done was holding hands or the occasional quick kiss. Eventually I settled with a red crop top that was solid until it reached under my boobs and then turned into mesh until it cut off to show the rest of my stomach. I wore black skinny jeans that made my butt look extra perky and my spiked belt. You know the one. Red combat boots and my trusty leather jacket to top it off. It was summertime but it did get quite chilly at night so better to be prepared. I moved onto my hair which I straightened which reached past my shoulders and this time I decided to use foundation and powder along with my eyeliner and mascara. After that I gave myself one last look in the full length mirror. "Okaayy. Not bad." I said to myself feeling confident enough. My nerves were really staring to get to me so I went back to the kitchen. This will help. I think as I get into the freezer. There is always alcohol in here. I grab the fifth of whiskey out and untwist the lid with force and grab a soda from the fridge. I head to the couch and switch the TV to MTV to watch some music videos while I calm down. I take a swig from the bottle. The smell is terrible and it burns my throat on the way down. I shake my head and scrunch my face in disgust at the taste and hurriedly take a drink of soda to rid my tongue of the evil presence. I repeat this many times. Then realize it is now 5pm. I get my cell our and text Renee.
Me: Hey are you gonna be ready in time?
Renee: Yeah, I should be 😁
I roll my eyes and sigh at her response Oh jeez, I know what that should means. She always takes forever getting ready and is almost always late. It's super annoying.
Me: Okay, see you soon then. I give her a generic reply. I light up a cigarette and prepare to take another shot. At this point the taste doesn't bother me any more. Yes, I know I'm a bad kid drinking and smoking. However, I think it beats somethings I could do. One being me cutting. I just want to numb the sadness inside that stems from being told you were a mistake most of your life by both of your parents. Renee and her family are the closest to family I have. We have been friends since I was 7 and she was 8 when she moved in next door. She lives with her mom and 2 younger brothers. Their dad ran off too and started a new life. Her brother Brice is my age and the youngest is Ryan. Growing up we were all close. We would play all the time. Mainly touch football or Chicken. Would not recommend doing that on the grass like we did. Her mom had become my second mom since mine was well you know. I was basically an only child. My dad got married to that wench of a step-mom and created my half-breed sister. To me though she didn't count I never saw her. We were also 10 years apart so not much in common. I will admit I am jealous of her. She gets the love that I wished my dad would've given to me. I didn't receive that though because of who my mother was like it was my choice. RING RING my phone assaulted my ears as someone was calling me. I put out my cigarette and look at my phone. The name Georgia was flashing on my screen. I swipe up to answer it.
ME: "Hello."
Georgia:" Hey what are you doing?"
Me: " Just waiting on Renee you know how that goes. Hahaha"
Georgia: " hahaha. Yeah I do. Y'all doing something tonight?"
Me:" Well Mitch invited us to his house to meet his brother and hang out." This isn't going to be good. I think to myself.
Georgia:" Oh really!?! Can I come?" she says excitedly
ME:" I don't mind, but you and Renee better behave."
Georgia:" I don't know what you mean! I always behave!" she says shocked I would accuse her of such a thing.
Me:" Oh yes you do. You both like Mitch and are constantly fighting over who he likes more. Haha."
Georgia:" Oh that? Well we will settle it tonight then and find out for sure. She says determined.
Me: " hahaha. Alright meet us there at 6. Bye."
Georgia:" Okay, Byyyeee!
I hang up the phone. This is going to be a long night. I notice the time. It's now 5:32pm. Almost time to go. "Shit!" I say aloud realizing I forgot to do my homework. "Oh well." I say as I shrug my shoulders to myself. I can do it in the morning. Despite my situation in life and being the bad kid I was actually smart. When I chose to be that is. Most of the time I didn't care to put in the effort because well what's the point. When I tried I was a straight A student. Rushing through homework was no big deal. I decide to light up yet another cigarette and take a few more shots. It was true this did really help my nerves. After multiple shots I finally heard KNOCK KNOCK at the front door. I jumped up maybe a little too fast to answer it. My head got a little dizzy. "Yep I'm tipsy." I said out loud. I put out my cigarette and opened the door. There stood Renee. She was wearing her usual attire. Her let there be cowgirls t-shirt and chandelier looking flare jeans with a big blingy belt. She had her cowgirl boots on. Her thick silky hair had been French braided back. All of her assets were on show. "Wow you're actually on time for once!" I joke at her. She rolls her eyes at me. "Oh shut up!" she yells while punching me in the arm. "Why you gotta be so violent all the time?" I say laughing and rubbing my arm. Renee just shrugs her shoulders at me and sits down on the couch. "Damn, you drinking already?!" she picks at me. "It's 5 o clock right." I hold my hands up and shrug at the same time. She just stares at me then picks up the bottle and takes a swig. "Alright, let's go!" she says as if we're about to go to war. "Okay, but first I gotta tell you something." I say quietly knowing that she won't be happy about this. She rolls her hand at me gesturing me to continue while she takes another shot. "So Georgia called and she's going to meet us there." I say quickly and then step back waiting for the explosion. Don't get me wrong Renee and Georgia are friends. We are all best friends. It's just that well they are competitive with guys and they tend to like the same guys A.K.A- Mitch. "That sneaky little bitch!" she yells. I try to keep my laughter to myself but fail. "She said tonight is the night Mitch will decide who he wants out of the two of you." I relay the challenge to her. She gasps and scoffs. "As If he would choose her over me. Game on." I once again just laugh at her dramatic display. "Well let's go before Georgia beats us there and one ups you. Hahaha" I say to Renee as we walk out my front door. I turn and lock the door and we were on our way.