The sound of rain pelting hard against the window snapped Akaashi back into reality. He looked around in weary haste, but calmed quickly once his memory had returned to him. He'd nodded off for a brief moment, with his arms crossed and his head resting on a thick bundle of pillows. With much effort, he sat up to look at Bokuto.
The movie was well over two hours in, nearing its end, and Bokuto lay on his side, curled up and clutching the blanket with what little strength he had left. His eyes were half-lidded and glued to the screen, his face void of emotion. It almost looked as if he were asleep.
"Bokuto?" Akaashi's voice was groggy.
Slowly, his yellow eyes scrolled to the side to catch Akaashi's gaze. He turned his head weakly, and his body along with it.
"I'm sorry. I've watched this movie so many times, I actually fell asleep." Akaashi dragged a hand down his face.
"Don't be sorry." Bokuto found himself smiling. "It's your house. You sleep if you want to."
"Not if I have a visitor over."
"It's fine. I'm not just some visitor, after all. We're friends." Bokuto's head lolled to the side, directing his attention back to the movie. "You were out for about an hour."
Akaashi heaved a sigh. He rubbed the back of his neck.
"I envy you. I wish I could sleep like that again."
Guilt bubbled up within Akaashi's chest. He'd realized just how rude that was, falling asleep so easily in front of a person who's biggest struggle was just that.
"How... insensitive of me..." He furrowed his brow, mentally scolding himself.
"Don't cry over it." Bokuto shifted as he lay down, sticking a leg out to kick Akaashi. "The movie kept me company. It's very good. Kind of confusing, but good. I'll have to watch it again."
Strange. Bokuto was such a strange one. He seemed to be unfazed by many things, and blatant about others, blurting sentences out that didn't seem to have much thought behind them. Akaashi doubted that he'd ever have Bokuto over again, so hearing him say 'I'll have to watch it again,' didn't sit too well with him.
Akaashi twisted his lips to the side and decided to bring up something else. "Are you tired?"
"Exhausted." Bokuto answered honestly.
"Close your eyes for the time being." Akaashi kicked his legs out of bed with much effort and stood on his feet. "I'll get us some water." He left the room quickly, leaving Bokuto by his lonesome.
After several seconds, he'd returned to see that Bokuto had changed his position in bed entirely. He lay on his back, with his head on some of Akaashi's pillows. His hands rested on his stomach, the dark blanket surrounding him from behind, but slipping off just enough for his torso to be exposed. His head rested against the bed, slumped to the side, facing away from Akaashi.
Again, if he hadn't known any better, Akaashi would have figured that Bokuto was already fast asleep. He approached his bedside silently. The room was dark, apart from the soft orange glow that his lamp gave off.
He set the drinks down and shuffled into bed, as if trying not to wake the other. Lying on his back, he stared at the ceiling.
No words were exchanged for what seemed like forever before Akaashi spoke up.
"How does it feel? To not be able to sleep?"
Bokuto's answer was delayed. "Awful." He turned his head in the opposite direction, facing Akaashi now. "I can barely keep my eyes open by day, and can barely keep them closed by night." He snorted in laughter.
"Does it frustrate you?"
"It did at first, when I didn't understand why. But now I'm kind of okay with it." A hand reached up to push through his own messy locks. "I still miss it though. Sleeping. Dreaming."
Akaashi watched Bokuto, listening to every word he said.
"I used to have some insane dreams, too. Especially before certain volleyball matches." He laughed again, louder this time. "I'd dream that I messed up during a spike, and then I'd wake up fuming, and would constantly tell myself that I was the best."
"Do you still think that you are the best?" Emerald eyes searched Bokuto's own for an honest answer.
He sighed his response with a grin. "Yeah." Bokuto closed his eyes after that, one hand resting on the side of his head. He was obviously tired, showing signs of exhaustion with every small move he made.
Akaashi grew silent and knitted his fingers together on his stomach, his head relaxing into his pillow. The both of them didn't exchange any words after that, ending the conversation just as suddenly as it had started.
Two hours had passed since their last words towards each other, yet Akaashi still lay awake in bed. Unknown to Bokuto, he watched him quietly through almost closed eyelids, his thick lashes being enough to hide the fact that he was still awake. Tired, but awake.
Akaashi couldn't sleep, but it wasn't because of his unfamiliarity with Bokuto that caused this. He couldn't sleep because of his honest fascination with him.
Bokuto would lay still for quite a while, his head tilted to the side with one hand on his stomach, and the other at his side. When he was like this, Akaashi would think that he was resting, and he would almost believe that thought until Bokuto would twitch awake again, his body jerking him from what little relaxation he tried to achieve.
At first, Akaashi thought nothing of it. Bokuto would wince and snap back to reality the way someone would when they dreamt they were falling. But Akaashi knew full well that such a thing wasn't possible with Bokuto's condition. It made Akaashi pity him, to say the least.
Three times, Bokuto jolted awake involuntarily, and three times, he covered his eyes with his forearm and heaved a quiet sigh. Akaashi refused to have reacted to those moments, hoping to spare his visitor the embarrassment of him having seen that. He intended on closing his eyes and falling asleep for real afterwards, but after having felt his mattress shake for the fourth time, he opened his eyes.
Akaashi lifted himself onto his elbows. "Bokuto," he whispered.
Alarmed, he snapped around quickly. His face looked both shocked and exhausted at the same time. "Akaashi? I'm–"
"Don't." His voice a mere murmur, Akaashi moved closer to Bokuto, then resumed to lie down on his back, his head slightly elevated with the pillows that sat behind him. "Don't apologize."
Mildly embarrassed, Bokuto looked away and rubbed his arms.
"Come." Akaashi beckoned for his visitor.
Turning his attention back to him, Bokuto met Akaashi's gaze. He wore a confused expression, wondering just what the other had meant by that word.
"I said come." He motioned for Bokuto to come closer. "Get over here." As Akaashi said this, he held out an arm, as if readying himself for some sort of hug.
Obeying with hesitance, Bokuto shifted towards Akaashi and lay against him, fitting into the curve of his arm. It was no doubt that he was larger than Akaashi, but that didn't stop him from fitting in just right.
Bokuto's head lay against Akaashi's shoulder. Akaashi's arm cautiously wrapped itself around Bokuto's broad shoulders.
Neither of them said a word.
Minutes passed, and in time, Akaashi could feel Bokuto relaxing against him, the signs of fatigue finally wearing him down. His head slumped against his shoulder, and both his hands rested on his stomach. He was trying. Trying so hard to fit in that small amount of sleep that would get him through the next day, and Akaashi wanted to help.
As much as he didn't want to believe it, Akaashi wanted so badly to help.
Why?
Akaashi watched as one of Bokuto's hands twitched involuntarily, and to his dismay, it wouldn't stop. Slowly, he reached a hand out and closed it over the twitching one, his four fingers fitting into Bokuto's palm. In seconds, his hand was calm again.
Akaashi inhaled quietly. He watched as Bokuto's chest rose and fell with each breath that kept him alive. His breathing was controlled, much like one of a person's who was actually asleep. Pursing his lips, Akaashi let his head fall back into the pillows. He turned his head to the side, towards Bokuto's. He could smell his faint scent. He smelled sort of like a hospital.
Akaashi made his way to the hospital for the umpteenth time that week, his hands in his jacket pockets and his nose burying into the burgundy knit scarf that protected him from the chilly weather.
It had been two months since Bokuto's visit over his home, and ever since then, Akaashi found that making his way to the hospital had become a daily routine for him. And even if he didn't show up, he would still spend his days sending messages to Bokuto, be it text, email, or the occasional video chat.
He exhaled through his nose and entered the hospital, greeted the woman at the front desk (who now knew him by name), and removed the scarf from around his neck. Akaashi already knew where he had to go.
He ascended those familiar steps, said hello to the familiar faces, and rounded that familiar corner that he knew would lead him to Bokuto's room. Another breath escaped him, slow and casual, but he'd soon learned to hold his breath when he noticed another person sitting outside in the hall, several feet from the room, where visitors could spend their time.
Akaashi eyeballed the small male for a long second, knowing that he wouldn't look up to catch him. His head hung low, and his attention belonged only to the handheld system that entertained him.
Normally, Akaashi would have walked away that instant in order to pay Bokuto a visit, but as he neared his room, he could hear two voices coming from within. One of the voices belonged to Bokuto. The other, he had no clue. Akaashi paused and gripped the strap of his bag. Hesitating, he turned, pivoting on one foot to stare back at the small one who sat by his lonesome. Feeling that it would be rude to interrupt Bokuto's conversation with whoever the other person was, Akaashi strode over to the seats and sat one chair away from the gaming stranger.
Akaashi tapped his fingers quietly against his pants.
"... Are you here to see Bokuto Koutarou?" Akaashi's asked in a leveled tone.
"No. My friend is." The other spoke in a quiet voice, low and brooding. Or maybe not brooding, but more along the lines of apathetic.
Apathy-kun. The nickname popped into Akaashi's head for a brief second. He wasn't too sure why.
"Is your friend a friend of Bokuto's?"
"Yeah. An old friend." He pressed pause on his PSP and tapped one end of it against his open palm. "They used to play volleyball together. They go back a couple of years."
Akaashi leaned back in his seat. "Ah. I see." He felt the need to keep most of his questions at bay. His company did not seem like the type to socialize so openly, so he figured simple inquiries would do just fine, especially if he kept them to a minimum.
"May I ask your name?" Akaashi took a shot at it.
A small thumb rubbed at the system's screen to remove a smudge. He looked up, gazed at Akaashi past his bleached blonde bangs, and straightened his back in the slightest way possible.
"Kozume Kenma."
"Akaashi Keiji." He felt like he could enjoy Kozume's company, what with how his words lacked all form of emotion. "It's nice to meet you, Kozume."
"Kenma is fine." He looked back down at the game screen. "Likewise."
Akaashi nodded, glad to have made an acquaintance, and would have relaxed into his seat if not for the sudden disembodied voice that startled him soon after Kenma's sentence.
"Hey, Kenma, who are you talking to?" As if straight from a cartoon, out popped a tall male from Bokuto's room, with stark black hair that both hung over his face and stuck out in all directions. He carried a look on his face that made him seem more sinister than sincere, and his eyes flitted from Kenma to Akaashi, and then back to Kenma.
"This is Akaashi. I just met him." His words were as straightforward as they were indifferent.
"Akaashi?" Bokuto's voice rang out from the room this time. Akaashi didn't even have to see his face to know that Bokuto was beaming. "He's here? Is he here?"
"I am-." Akaashi rose from his seat to enter the room, but instead found Bokuto standing at the door in seconds, his eyes wide with surprise. He was thinner than before, a large flannel shirt fitting him loosely. He had probably lost a bit overtwenty pounds in the two months that passed.
Akaashi frowned. "Get back into bed. You shouldn't be-"
Bokuto didn't allow him to finish his sentence as he embraced Akaashi suddenly. "I didn't think you were going to make it today." Though he'd gotten thinner, his arms still had some power to them. He squeezed Akaashi, mashing him closer until he could barely breathe.
Akaashi's eyebrows knit together. "I told you I would..." He all but murmured against Bokuto's shoulder.
"What's this?" The taller, dark haired male gestured to them. "I come to visit and I'm barely paid attention to, but when he comes along, he's given the whole package?"
Bokuto pulled away to face his smirking friend. "Relax." He then turned his attention to Akaashi. "This is Kuroo, a close friend of mine."
He cocked his head to the side. "Nice to meet you, Akaashi. I've heard a lot about you in the short hour that I've been here."
Nodding once, Akaashi acknowledged Kuroo's words, but did not know how to respond to them. All he had to offer was a, "The pleasure is mine," before moving forward to try and usher Bokuto back into his room.
"Hey- hey!" Bokuto resisted, standing firm in place. "We were actually just talking about stepping outside."
"Well, I brought it up, just as a suggestion, but then he got really excited." Kuroo scratched the back of his head. "So we were going to step outside for a minute or two in order to get this owl to shut up."
"I've been cooped up in this place for too long. I haven't gone outside in days." The discomfort could be heard in Bokuto's voice. If there was one thing that Akaashi had learned about Bokuto in the little time that he'd known him, it was that he wasn't too fond of staying locked up indoors. Maybe taking him outside for a while would do him some good.
Akaashi looked down the hall. "Let's go then. To the garden out in the back."
Everyone came to an unspoken agreement after the one sentence. Kuroo started down the hall, Bokuto trailing after him. Akaashi followed after knowing that Kenma was nearby. As he walked, he stared at the backs of the two men in front of him. They both seemed to be the same height, but Akaashi couldn't help but realize that Bokuto looked just a bit smaller.
A mere two minutes outside had turned into two hours.
Akaashi shared a bench with Kenma. The both of them had sat down long ago, leaving Bokuto and Kuroo to their own business as they wandered about and waved their arms around in their animated way of speaking. He found it strange, how Bokuto was the one walking around when he was the sick one out of the lot. He furrowed his brow and exhaled heavily, his eyes looking down. He stared at his knees intensely before Kenma spoke up.
"You don't like to see him like that, do you?"
Akaashi lifted his head and looked to his side. He eyed the blonde one for quite a while. Kenma didn't give him a chance to respond.
"I don't like to see him like that, either. It's why I didn't want to come along. But Kuroo insisted." Kenma's unconcerned tone contradicted his words, but something told Akaashi that he meant everything he was saying.
"Were you ever friends with Bokuto?" Akaashi lifted his head in subtle interest.
"More like acquaintances. Our teams would face each other often. Whenever we did, Kuroo and Bokuto would meet up afterwards and spend time together. I'm usually around Kuroo, so..." He shrugged with little energy. "I sort of got to know him through Kuroo's company. He's an okay guy. Loud, though."
Bokuto's disembodied laughter rang throughout the garden, as if to prove Kenma right.
Akaashi almost smiled. "So... How are you taking all of this, if I may ask?"
"I'm..." Kenma's lips puckered in thought. "I'm taking it well, or at least I think I am. I'm trying to detach myself. It's another reason why I didn't want to pay Bokuto any visits." He looked down, his hair hanging over his face. "There's something about Bokuto that doesn't sit well with me."
Confused and mildly shocked, Akaashi made a face. "Is there something wrong with him? Has he ever done anything bad?"
"Not to my knowledge. But even if he has, that's not what I meant." Kenma rubbed his nose with his sleeve. "It doesn't matter if you've never met Bokuto before, or if you haven't seen him in ten days, or ten weeks, or ten months, or ten years. If you ever interact with him in even the slightest, you'll be reminded of just how good a person he really is."
Akaashi stared at Kenma, speechless.
"He's genuine, kind, and at times, infantile, but that's what makes him so... Likeable, I suppose. He drags you back in. He praises others while shouting that he's the best at everything he does. It's ridiculous."
Looking away slowly, Akaashi watched as Bokuto and Kuroo reappeared in the distance. They were still wrapped up in whatever conversation they were having.
"Kuroo looks happy now. But he wasn't, then." Kenma almost murmured the words. Akaashi turned to catch a glimpse of him, but he stared off in the distance, his eyes not focusing on anything in particular. Blinking, Akaashi turned his attention back to Kuroo and Bokuto.
"Five weeks ago, he was in shambles. He didn't want to talk to anyone. He only accepted my company. I was the only one willing to give it to him." He continued to stare on as he talked. "That was when he learned about the disease. This entire past month hasn't been any different for him, though. He almost didn't want to come today, either. No one likes to find out that someone they care about is sick... Much less diagnosed with a disease that can't be cured."
Bokuto and Kuroo continued to talk animatedly, the both of them out of earshot.
"Bokuto is starting to look less and less like his old self, too. He used to be thicker. He used to be bigger than Kuroo, but now he's the one who's smaller. Kuroo's the bigger one. Kuroo's the heavier one. It doesn't-... It doesn't make any sense."
Pursing his lips into a thin line, Akaashi looked down and noticed that Kenma had laced his fingers together. He pulled and tugged at them restlessly. His hands showed what his face dared not.
Akaashi figured it was safe to say that Bokuto had already begun to pull Kenma back in. It was an awful thing to do, but Akaashi knew full well that none of it was intentional on Bokuto's part. All he had to do was talk to someone, and in an instant, they would be involved in Bokuto's lively shenanigans once again.
Akaashi knew this. The same thing happened to him some two and a half months ago. If he had known that sending simple text messages would have turned into daily hospital visits, then he would have never handed over his cell number. This was not what he wanted. He wanted healthy friends that he could talk to on a regular basis, not one sick friend who he'd have to invest personal and emotional time into. Akaashi swallowed thickly and crossed his hands, rubbing one thumb over the other. He stared at Bokuto and found it difficult to look away. With a heavy heart, he spoke.
"I wish I never met him."
A cool breeze passed through the garden just then, and in the distance, Bokuto held on tight to the burgundy knit scarf around his neck to keep warm.
In time, Kuroo and Kenma found that it was time for them to make their way back home. Kuroo bid Bokuto farewell for the time being, while Kenma made his way downstairs to exit the building. He didn't seem like one to say goodbye ‒ or hello ‒ for that matter, so both Akaashi and Bokuto didn't pay any mind to it.
Kuroo finally left the room after four minutes or so, having forgotten that he was supposed to leave in the first place. He waved and jogged out, knowing that if he didn't hurry, he'd have to spend several more minutes trying to catch up to a wandering Kenma.
Standing at the side of Bokuto's bed, Akaashi glanced to the open door that led to the hallway.
"Your friend is a lot like you."
"Anything but," Bokuto retorted, sitting upright in bed. "He's a bit more of... An ass, to say the least." He chuckled and rubbed at his face wearily.
The sound of Bokuto's laughter caused Akaashi to turn his head back to him. It was a reaction that Akaashi was not expecting in the least, but he played off his surprise and only managed an, "I see."
Bokuto gazed at Akaashi, almost in wonder. "Why are you standing? Take a seat." He pat the empty space next to him animatedly.
"No, it's alright. I was actually thinking of taking my leave soon, as well-"
"What? Why?" The disappointment in his voice was clear. "You've only been here for like, thirty minutes."
Akaashi scratched his head. "It's been over three hours, actually."
"That's the same thing!" Bokuto moved closer to where Akaashi was standing, all the while still sitting in bed. "I spoke to Kuroo most of the time, so it doesn't count."
"What doesn't?" Akaashi took an unnoticeable step back.
"The three hours!" He was getting frustrated. "I'm very bad at measuring time now, too, if you haven't noticed. Three hours feels like seven hours, sometimes. But three hours can also feel like seven minutes. I may not be as sharp as I used to, but that whole 'Time flies when you're having fun,' rule still applies to me, even today."
"So... Three hours is nothing." Akaashi muttered.
"Exactly!" Bokuto's eyes lit up again.
Akaashi avoided looking into them. "I understand, but I still have to go." He avoided looking at Bokuto altogether. "I would stay if it were up to me. I've just got something to take care of, but I'll be sure to visit you tomorrow."
Bokuto didn't make a sound. He pressed his lips into a thin line and fell backwards on his bed. He probably had a thousand things to say, but he kept them all at bay and instead rolled onto his side, facing away from Akaashi.
He was shocked. Akaashi never knew that Bokuto was one to suddenly sulk on a dime. He looked around and frowned, and figured it would be best to take his leave.
"I'll... See you tomorrow."
"Do you want your scarf back?" The question came out of the blue. Despite him being the one who asked, Bokuto held onto it tightly.
Akaashi watched him and zipped up his jacket. "Yeah... I do."
In dismay, Bokuto sat up in bed and slowly reached around his neck to pull off the warm piece of cloth. He took his time, the thought of removing it killing him faster than the disease itself.
"...But I also want you to hold onto it."
The words had come as such a shock to Bokuto that he'd paused and looked up at Akaashi. His hands tensed, relaxed, and rested against his neck. "...You do?
"Yes." Akaashi managed the faintest of smiles. "Please hold onto it, Bokuto."
At that moment, he turned away and walked off, feeling he wouldn't be able to leave if he'd lasted one more second in the room.
Akaashi woke with a start that same night, his strangled shouts having pulled him from his sleep. He'd flinched hard and sat up quickly, closing his hand over his mouth to subdue the almost hysteric sounds that came from him. His breathing was heavy, his heart rate quicker than usual; Akaashi could feel his heart pounding in his throat, making it difficult to swallow.
"Sh- sh-it..."
That had been the fifth time that month where Akaashi had to tear himself out of another nightmare. They made him feel nauseous to a point where he had to sit up in bed and swallow deep, slow breaths in order to cool himself down, and he did just that, reaching his hands up to rub at his eyes before taking a tense look around his room.
Exhaling heavily, Akaashi turned to look at the desk near his bed. His phone was there. Hesitating for only a second, he reached his hand out and took the device into his hands. When the screen lit up, a text message from Bokuto waited there for him.
'Sleep well, Akaashi.' It had been sent two hours ago.
Akaashi swiped and unlocked his phone with trembling hands.
From: Akaashi (Sent at 2:47am)
[Are you there?]
Bokuto:
[Yeah! Akaashi? I thought you fell asleep.]
Akaashi had to wait almost a minute for Bokuto's response. It was the longest minute he'd ever been forced to sit through.
Akaashi:
[I woke up. Nightmares.]
Bokuto:
[Nightmare? You had a nightmare? Was it bad?]
Akaashi:
[Well, it managed to wake me up.]
Bokuto:
[The quiet kind of wake up?]
Akaashi:
[No, more like the clichéd kind, where you sit up in bed in a cold sweat.]
Bokuto:
[Are you calming down? Are you feeling better?]
Akaashi stared at the text message and let out a shaking sigh. Judging by his still trembling hands, he knew he wasn't.
Akaashi:
[Yeah. I'm just a little shaken.]
Bokuto:
[I don't believe you on that 'Yeah' part.]
Akaashi:
[I'm fine.]
Bokuto:
[Alright, well... We'll just see about that.]
Furrowing his brow, Akaashi stared at his phone screen and lay his head down sideways. It wasn't like Bokuto to question what he said in such a straightforward fashion.
Akaashi:
[There's nothing to see...]
He pressed send and watched the phone carefully, waiting for the small ellipses to appear on the lower left side of the screen. But instead, he was greeted with nothing. He didn't get a response, nor did he see any signs of responding.
Akaashi frowned and left his phone screen alone to dim and blacken. He held it in his shaking hands and closed his eyes in an attempt to try and find sleep again. It was difficult, however, as each time he tried to drift off to sleep, that unnerving fear of having the same dream would jerk him back awake. Akaashi groaned softly and covered his face.
BZZT
Akaashi's phone vibrated against his forehead. He flinched and pulled his hand away to stare at the screen.
Bokuto:
[Look outside! (＠´∀｀)ノ]
"What?" Akaashi kicked his legs out of bed and strode to his window. "Impossible-" He pulled apart the blinds and looked down.
Out in the dead of night stood Bokuto, with the burgundy knit scarf around his neck, a jacket, jeans, and slippers. He looked up and grinned, and waved wildly in Akaashi's direction.
Akaashi's eyes widened. "No, no, no, no-" He pulled away from the windowsill and ran out of his room, straight downstairs and to the front door. He threw it open and faced Bokuto, who was jogging to him with a smile and a shiver in each step.
"May I come in?"
"No! No, we're-"
"Why not?"
"We're going back to the hospital right now. I'm taking you back." Akaashi reached his arms out and pushed Bokuto away.
"What? No!" Bokuto refused to budge. He pushed Akaashi back this time. "I just came from there."
"Exactly, because you belong there!" Akaashi felt that his words were a bit bitter, but he had no other way of telling Bokuto the truth. "You're sick, you need medical attention."
"So I can't sleep." Bokuto swatted Akaashi's hands away. "What's the big deal?"
"It's more than that!" He exerted more force into his arms, getting Bokuto to take a step back. "You've had two panic attacks this week already, and your hallucinations are getting worse. My home is not a place for you to be right now."
"I get panic attacks when you're not around," Bokuto answered simple-mindedly. "And my hallucinations aren't all that bad."
Akaashi clenched his jaw behind a mildly irritated face. "Stop trying to act like this isn't such a big deal... You may not think it is, but I..." He paused and reached his arms out to get in another shove. "Let's just go."
"I don't want to." Bokuto grabbed Akaashi's hands with his own.
"Bokuto, stop."
"I don't want to go back!"
"How did you even sneak out?"
"By sneaking out! They don't pay much attention to me anyways!"
Akaashi yanked his hands away and stared at Bokuto. As much as it infuriated him, he knew that Bokuto wasn't going to go anywhere unless he let him into his home first. He swallowed thickly.
"Get inside." Akaashi stepped to the side.
Bokuto's eyes did the familiar light up thing as he bounded into Akaashi's home. He removed his slippers and waited at the entrance for his friend to enter. Akaashi stepped in and shut the door behind him.
"You chose the perfect night." Akaashi said bitterly as he hobbled up the stairs. "My parents aren't home."
"It's not like I would've made any noise," Bokuto all but shouted, following after him.
Akaashi sighed. "I'll get you back to the hospital by seven in the morning."
"Fine by me! Imagine the looks on their faces when they see me coming in from the outside. Imagine their faces when they notice I'm not even in my room." Bokuto was elated.
Akaashi entered his room and shut the door behind Bokuto. "I'm going straight to sleep."
"But I thought you had that nightmare." Bokuto stood at the side of Akaashi's bed.
"I did..." He paused for a moment. "... Is that why you came here? Because of the nightmare?"
Bokuto stared at Akaashi. "Because you said you were okay, and I knew you weren't."
Akaashi was at a loss for words. He returned Bokuto's gaze, then looked down quickly afterwards. A hand tugged at his shirt weakly. "I see." He reached a hand out to turn on the lamp that sat on his nightstand.
Taking a seat on the edge of the bed, Bokuto rubbed the back of his neck. "What was the dream about?"
Akaashi sat in bed and wrapped a sheet around himself. He tossed the navy blue one to Bokuto, remembering how fond he was of it the last time he'd come over. He watched as Bokuto gathered it up in his arms and threw it around himself. He then stared at Akaashi, waiting for his response.
He sighed. "I was drowning." His hands picked at the small lint rolls that stuck to his sheet. "Drowning in something black, sort of like tar. I was fighting and trying to get out, but... I had no power over it whatsoever. I was so weak, and it'd gotten to the point where I could barely breath. My face was the only thing sticking out." Akaashi cocked his head back to demonstrate this, with his finger tapping his chin.
"I was struggling. But in the end, I couldn't move. I was shouting, but no sound came out. No one could hear me. No one was around." Akaashi shrugged. "The liquid started flooding into my mouth and nose, and it wasn't until I was suffocating that I forced myself awake."
Akaashi didn't say another word afterwards. He only bundled himself up in the sheets that surrounded him. He turned his head to look out the window, eyeing the moon timidly.
Shifting in his seat, Bokuto pulled himself closer to Akaashi, one hand grasping the blanket that had been given to him.
Akaashi remained in place with the thought in mind that Bokuto would respect his personal space and sit a foot or two away from him, but to his apparent surprise, Bokuto leaned his head on Akaashi's shoulder and slipped an arm around him.
Akaashi squirmed in discomfort. "What are you doing?"
"Comforting?" Bokuto replied, lifting his head. "Isn't that what humans do?"
Akaashi watched him carefully. "Don't talk like you're not one..."
Bokuto chortled quietly and placed his head back on Akaashi's shoulder. They didn't speak for a moment, and the room was filled with the hushed sounds of the outside.
"Hey."
"What?"
"Let's watch Cloud Atlas."
"No." Akaashi shook his head.
Bokuto grumbled to himself. "Why not? Don't you have it in your laptop?"
"I do, but I don't want to watch it. It's a long movie, and I've watched it about seven times already."
"Well if you've watched it seven times then why not watch it an eighth time?"
"Because it's three in the morning and I want to fit some sleep into my schedule. By the time that movie ends, it'll be six. Then I'll have to walk you to the hospital before the doctors find out you're missing and lose their minds."
A laugh escaped Bokuto, the sound curling his lips into a smile. "What if they've already found out?"
"Then that would be a problem."
"And then they'd turn my room upside down in an attempt to find me."
"That'd be a tough mess to clean up."
Turning his head, Bokuto looked at Akaashi. "Everything you say is so straightforward. Why is that?"
"I... Don't know." Akaashi inhaled slowly. "It's just how I am. Sometimes I think I'm funny. But people never laugh at my jokes."
Bokuto snorted. "When have you ever tried to make a joke?"
"When I said that it would be a tough mess for them to clean up..." Akaashi sounded genuinely confused. "Didn't that come off as remotely funny?"
Bokuto couldn't help but guffaw, his head tilting back. "That was your idea of a joke?"
"You're too loud, be quiet." Akaashi shoved his visitor lightly. Despite this, it only seemed to make Bokuto laugh even harder. Akaashi pursed his lips in frustration, but this look quickly vanished as a small laugh fell from his lips.
"Well, you're laughing now..." He tried to hide his smile. "So I guess I am pretty good at being funny."
Bokuto glanced at him. "Yeah, but for all the wrong reasons." His laughter died down along with Akaashi's. "You know... I don't think I've ever heard you laugh, or seen you smile for that matter."
Shrugging one shoulder, Akaashi grabbed his phone. "Well now you have."
Bokuto looked over at the phone screen. "What are you doing?"
"Setting an alarm for six AM." Akaashi set his phone down and leaned back slowly, resting the back of his head against his pillow. Bokuto followed, his arm still around him.
This is strange. He stared up at the ceiling and sighed. Why do I let him do this?
Akaashi's head slumped to the side, in Bokuto's direction.
"I hope you don't mind me sleeping." He whispered the words.
"Of course I don't. I showed up to your house unannounced at three in the morning. You've got all the right to sleep..."
"I just hope it isn't rude-"
"It isn't." Bokuto's arm unconsciously squeezed Akaashi closer to his side.
"Alright..." He closed his eyes. "Good night." Akaashi pulled his arms in close, wrapping the sheets around himself.
"See you in three hours." Bokuto whispered.
Complete and utter silence befell them afterwards. Akaashi had kept his eyes closed for quite a while, trying to fall into a deep sleep, but found that he couldn't, or at least, not as quickly as he thought he could. He kept his breathing controlled and steady for about forty minutes; he looked sound asleep, but was actually drifting between the real world and the dream realm.
There was silence, and then there was a sound. A subtle, gentle sound. The sound of someone cautiously moving their arm when they didn't wish to wake someone.
Akaashi remained in his faux sleeping position, feeling that it would take much more of an effort for him to open his eyes and check around than to stay dormant. And so he continued to try and grasp sleep, expecting nothing from the noise.
It was because of this that he was so surprised when he felt a gentle sensation against his forehead. It took all of his power not to flinch when he'd felt the unfamiliar touch.
They were fingers. Hesitant fingers that ghosted over Akaashi's forehead in order to push a loose strand of hair away.
Keeping his eyes closed, Akaashi took in the feeling of this. He could sense the heavy amount of reluctance in each movement that Bokuto's hand carried out.
Bokuto was afraid to wake Akaashi. So much so that his hands trembled slightly whenever he'd push Akaashi's bangs away.
Slowly but gradually, Akaashi's heart rate picked up. His hands twitched once, and he moved closer, leaning into Bokuto's touch. This backfired, however, as the other's hand quickly withdrew. Akaashi relaxed then, keeping the sleeping act alive.
Bokuto did not move a muscle after having seen Akaashi stir. The last thing he wanted to do was wake him up, so they lay in silence for minutes on end. Akaashi figured that Bokuto would keep to himself for the rest of the night, so he put his focus back to trying to sleep. He held the same position and felt himself dozing off...
"I'm sorry." The words were barely a whisper, and they came without warning. It almost sounded as if Bokuto were talking to himself.
Akaashi remained still and silent.
"... I never meant to drag you into my life..."
Bokuto inhaled all that he could. Akaashi felt his chest rise. He could practically hear the frown in his voice.