His teeth chattered, "I must get to her."
Yet as he tried to step through the sky, his body faltered and he fell.
Fukkatsu could not catch him, for he too had been completely spent.
In that moment, it was the warmth of the Primordial Tyrant apparition which caught him with the strength of ten thousand hands.
"No!" Vienna's shrill scream rang out as he reached out!
The Primordial Tyrant was ripping a teleportation talisman.
Yet, he could not be stopped.
By the time Vienna arrived, his brutal palm strike landed on nothing but air.
—
Blood dyed the ground, "Pfft-!"
The pains of the great path shuddered through his body.
The backlash of such a dangerous move was something that could not be easily determined.
WIIR!
Fast moving cold winds blew through his Inner Sea, the fog which is the Primordial Tyrant Law personified within his sea coiled around the Ten Thousand Soul Pearl.
It's strength had been heavily reduced, however even now it carried more than enough strength to directly destroy his soul if it began rampaging, causing him to be forced to suppress it at all costs.
He knew his cultivation had been locked away.
If he used even a small amount, it would set off the Ten Thousand Soul Pearl and cause a calamity!
Looking around, he found himself within a familiar fog.
The Fallen Sword Forbidden Land of the Jiyue Sect!
The terrifying sharpness of the area circled him inquisitively, questioning his weakness.
His cultivation could not be determined anymore.
Straightening his back, he peered into the fog.
His senses were heightened.
Though his cultivation was sealed due to the Ten Thousand Soul Pearl threatening to blow a hole the size of a large city through the area if it rampaged, his senses were still that of a Peak Law Realm Expert.
For the first time in a long time, he felt truly helpless.
In the fog he could sense it, he knew it was there watching, silently.
A creature of great strength.
Now essentially a mortal, he could feel it through sheer instinct.
He cupped his fists, "Elder, I am Daoist Tenki Shi. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance."
Shou Xin with a lowered head could not see what approached, but he knew it had to be something of great power for the fluctuations even he could not tell it's true strength.
Looking down, a pair of feet appeared in his vision.
"Little Sword, tell this elder what the matter is?" The voice rang like a swords edge, "You once dared challenge so valiantly, now you are deformed."
Shou Xin calmly raised his head to meet the eyes of the being before him, a woman of immense power whose eyes burrowed deep into his soul, "Elder, I am confused. I have two paths to follow. I can become a heartless monster and fail, or, I can become a weapon for others and still fail."
"A problem indeed." She replied as she stroked her other hand which rested upon a sword, stuck into the ground, "To choose to be a monster, or a weapon. It is the same thing, simply different loyalties is it not? Then, Little Sword, why not choose to be both? A monstrous warrior, a weapon in your own hands. If you are destined to fail, why not do so spectacularly? Why not be an explosion!"
Her voice boomed through the fog!
She laughed as though everything in the world was merely a game of fulfillment or regret in her eyes!
"To be alive means to fail and dying whilst alive is giving up! Are you such a pale faced scholar or a bloodied warrior? Are you a dragon who soars freely, or a turtle who cannot bear to look outside it's shell!?" Her voice rang in his mind like a freezing wind, "Tell me! Shou Xin!"
He heard a terrifying voice, yet he did not shake.
It felt familiar.
A memory dug up as though a far flung past.
Inside the underground manor in Sea Spring, many years ago.
A woman cradled him, and gave him warmth.
A woman bathed him, and looked after him as her own.
A woman called herself his mother, and gave him a name.
Xin, the word for heart, so that he might always carry it close and never lose himself like his father had in the bloodshed.
Shou, the word for longevity, so that his heart may always, always! Be strong and set to the future, never dwelling upon the past.
He wondered for a moment.
This woman who called herself his mother, who took him in and cradled him when his father was cruel, and who bathed him when his arms were so bruised he could not do so himself.
This woman who was like a haze.
Tenki Ai.
Heaven's Love.
That was her name.
The night she left, she had told him her name.
He remembered now.
No one ever mentioned her, and he had promised to never say a word about her.
And he never did.
Now as he stood before this person, this person who had once taken care of him, a blistering heat rose in his chest.
Pain.
It was not physical, nor mental, nor related to soul yet he felt it.
A sizzling, heavy pain which reached his very core.
It was such that the tyrant who'd killed so many shed a tear.
"Mother." He called, no longer able to see her eye, "Am I irredeemable?"
She stepped forward, wrapped her arms around him in a way few could, "No."
"What should I do," His head was buried in her chest, his eyes had gone wet as the overwhelming force of everything arrived at once, "I-,"
With his cultivation sealed, the curse could not suppress the countless emotions, and so they all exploded at once!
She held him closer.
"I-, just don't know what to do I-, I can't keep going like this," His façade began to crack, his cultivation suppressed by the Ten Thousand Soul Pearl, every emotion he ever killed flooded him, "I don't want to keep going like this."
He gripped her robe tightly, a sniveling boy in her arms as though he was still that young, young child which had been helpless.
It could no longer be controlled.
Memories flooded him.
The deaths of those he knew.
The deaths of those he slew.
The deaths of those he regretted.
The actions which lead to terrible disasters.
The actions he made so hastily in anger.
The actions which had brought upon calamity that he had made so easily.
Everything crushed him, but tore him to bits was the realization that it was nobody's fault but his own.
His own decisions had led him to this point.
The Exiled Court's greatest powers deep within the world sought him out and wished to bring him in.
The Demon Realm's clans were aware of him and most hated him to the core, wanting to kill him and everyone he knew.
The Wild States were up in arms, against him, calling him a Demon, a Dragon Worshipper, a Sword Dragon… a monster.
Even the Great Path wanted him dead, and the Heavenly Court had even just passed it's eyes over him!
The Endless Dao too had peered into his soul, as a sort of straw to break the camels back!
One man could only withstand so much.
And he was no man, but a youth, not even a full-fledged adult.
Since birth, nothing was ever easy or fun, or fulfilling.
It was always a struggle, a battle, a war.
And there were always losses.
In his depths, a child could yet be seen, still crying out to be held, to be saved.
"I just want to live a free, long life with my love," His words were filled with such sorrow that even evil gods may have wept if they'd heard them, "I regret it so much. I should have never returned to Sea Spring. I should have just ran away with her and never looked back."
His voice cracked with every word, a mess of a youth kneeled unerringly in her arms.
Yet, as these thoughts appeared, he ripped himself from her grasp with wide eyes as though shocked at his own weakness so personified.
So evident.
It was a recoiling, a new regret that he had aired such disgraceful thoughts.
He looked at her with trembling eyes.