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I wake up in bed in my room with no memory of how I got here.
'Ahh, I guess I passed out… How long must I have been unconscious?'
I look at the clock in the room and see that it's 9 a.m.
"Well, at least it's not nighttime.... Haa... Anyway, another crappy day until I get back to Master…" I say, jumping out of bed, as I feel the slight feverish, achy state I'm starting to get used to.
Since I've been away from Master, the world seems grayer and more emotionless.
The food tastes different to me too.
Everything that is brought to me looks delicious but tastes like nothing to me.
That's why I'm not eating much lately, which is making my skin and fur paler and whiter, and that my body is losing a lot of weight.
Sometimes I even feel like I'm having trouble breathing.
'It's frankly stupid and irritating.'
Every day Lilian gets angry with me and tells me that I have to gain weight instead of losing it and that if I continue like this, I'll never be able to recover enough to be able to go in search of Master.
'As if it was my intention to feel this way.' I think with some resentment, remembering yesterday's complaints before we started training, when Lilian came looking for me and saw that I hadn't eaten half of what they had brought me at noon.
Charity and my parents have also come by several times to try to cheer me up.
But it's no use.
I feel like I need to see my teacher again so that my world is complete and everything goes back to the way it was.
The fact that my training to learn to control my mana, which is apparently my only hope of being able to find him, is going so badly is not particularly helping my mood either.
I haven't seen him for days now, and my longing for him is almost a physical need.
I miss his voice, the color of his eyes, and the way he was always there to protect me, and so every day that passes makes it harder for me to keep fighting to achieve something that so far seems impossible.
'I don't know how much longer I can go on like this'.
These past few days, I have been having horrible nightmares where Master tells me that he doesn't want me to be by his side anymore because I have failed him, and he walks away from me.
I scream and try to chase him, but he keeps getting further and further away from me without me being able to do anything about it, until I can no longer see him and I am left alone in the dark.
After the nightmares, I always wake up suddenly in my bed, in a reality not much better than the fiction my training-weary mind has generated, where that suspicion has been haunting me all this time, so the thought of seeing Master again scares me and gives me hope in equal parts.
'But today was different...' I think, as an evocation of what I dreamt comes to mind.
I'm not really clear on what I dreamed. I only remember the first part, where I was protecting Lilian and Sebastian from the soldiers.
But, for some reason, the second part of the dream escapes my memory.
'It's weird... I would usually remember much more clearly the last thing I dreamt...'
When I try to remember, all that comes to mind is the echo of a feeling of complete peace, warmth, and security.
Almost without realizing it, I put my hand to my lips.
'How strange...'
...
"I notice you are being especially energetic today..... You also ate everything I had assigned you for today; did something good happen?" Lilian asks suspiciously as we go through the series of movements and stretches that we have to repeat with increasing speed and precision.
"I don't know... I feel good today," I say, also confused by the change.
For some reason, when my food was brought to me today, I began to feel a ravenous hunger that I hadn't felt since I was with Master.
And although the food they bring me, which according to Lilian is carefully selected by her to help me in my recovery, is not even close to the dishes that Master prepares, today I could feel some flavor.
Reason why I ate everything they had brought me and even asked them to bring me more, which left my guards speechless.
"Well, I'm glad. And I hope it's not a one-day thing.... I will soon have to embark back to my continent to call for reinforcements and report what happened, as well as bring medicine for the strange disease that has arisen in our Kingdom. So I'll try to help you as much as I can until then," says Lilian, looking at me sideways as she moves to my side.
"I was worried about having to leave you, but if you start eating well and continue with our training, I guess you'll recover completely in no time. The bad thing is that after I leave, they will probably keep a much better eye on you, based on how hard it was for me to get them to agree to you staying here for so long, so you need to put your all into learning how to control your mana within three weeks from today, because when that deadline ends, I will leave and you will no longer have any excuse for being in such a poorly guarded place. Charity wanted me not to let you out of your room, and she also asked me to increase the number of guards to about twenty, so with that, you have an idea of what to expect. Haa... That woman takes the word overprotection to a whole different level. I'd say a week is plenty of time for you to pull it off, but frankly, I've never seen anyone with less talent for magic than you. Anyway, let's keep practicing..."
'Haa... Before, that comment on her part would have annoyed the hell out of me, but now I simply take it for what it is, the sincere words of someone trying to help me. Haa... In that sense, she is similar to Master. That's why there's no point in getting angry at her. I should rather get angry at myself.... But that won't get me anywhere.'
"You know... I didn't like you at first..." I say, hesitating about how I should express what I feel. "It all started with the fact that you looked like your mother. And, well... I don't think I have to explain anything more to you in that regard. But later on, other emotions got mixed in. Jealousy because you were the only girl of his age who was on such friendly terms with Master, and envious that you had known him since before me."
'And in light of the things she said to me yesterday, maybe she knows him much better than I do...'
When I think of that, an unpleasant feeling spreads throughout my body, generating a shiver.
"I was never interested in Xelean to a greater level than is necessary for a good friend... or a potential danger to our kingdom.... You need not fear that I will steal him from you," she says, uttering the last sentence with a mocking tone.
"Ha... No, I know," I say quickly, as I feel my cheeks burning, which probably means I'm starting to blush. "This... What I wanted to say is that it's different now, and that I really appreciate everything you're doing for me. Thank you."
"Ahh, well, I'm glad..." she says with an enigmatic smile, and although it looked like she was going to say something else, she falls silent.
"Changing the subject..." I say, trying to divert her attention from how red my face must be getting, "I wanted to ask you something.... I've been thinking. Is it okay that you've been telling me all these things? Aren't you afraid I'll tell Master that you've been spying on him for I don't know how long?"
At this, Lilian starts to laugh and says, "I already told you a few days ago, my dear. I only tell you what I know won't affect me negatively. I already explained to you that Xelean doesn't care much about anything but the labyrinth and the people who are close to him. That's just my opinion of him, of course, but I think it's pretty accurate. So I don't think he's going to mind in the least that I've been keeping myself informed about him. And although I'd rather he didn't find out, I know that by telling you this information, I'm getting another benefit."
"Like what?" I ask, confused, as I try to think of some advantage Lilian could get from telling me everything she told me.
"Don't worry about that, my sweetie. It's nothing that's going to hurt you or those you care about. Trust me," she says, as she smiles again with the same enigmatic smile as a moment ago.
"Hmm, ok..." I say, stopping thinking about the subject and trusting Lilian's words.
...
"Hmm, pay attention to me for a moment," says Lilian, separating her forehead from mine and leaning back while using her arms for support to avoid ending up lying on the ground. "I think I should tell you this in case I leave before you can control your mana. When you can finally get the ring to work, don't try to use it to talk to Xelean."
We are sitting in a corner of the basement while I try to sense the mana inside me and send it towards the ring.
"Why?" I ask quizzically at the odd request.
"For two reasons. The first is that you don't have the amount of mana needed to communicate over such a distance. And the second is because we don't really know what the situation was like that led him to run away from Gell, since we were both unconscious. I already told you my assumptions on the subject, but maybe it's all more complicated than what we were told. Also, the ring's communication ability is not entirely reliable.. Many times the voice is choppy when the user is not fully focused on what they are trying to convey or when their control over mana is poor. Which in your case is practically a guarantee that Xelean didn't hear you clearly."
"¿And? He would still hear me. I don't understand why I shouldn't try to communicate with him as soon as the distance allows me to," I say, annoyed by Lilian's request since my anxiety to hear the Master's voice again is one of the worst things about being away from him.
"Just think a little bit, can you? He might think you're someone trying to trick him, or he might not recognize your voice due to the poor quality of the communication, and if he takes off the ring, we won't be able to find him anymore," she says, giving me a gentle tap on my forehead with the index finger of her right hand.
"Ahhh" I say, horrified at the prospect of losing track of Master when I finally get to know where he is, and grateful to have Lilian's friendship, for without her I could never have gotten this far in my plans to reunite with him.
It's really comforting to have someone so intelligent on my side, even if sometimes the way she expresses herself is a bit irritating.
"Yes, we can't afford the risk. It's better to talk to him personally. And it can't be just anyone. It has to be you, because that's the only sure way to make sure Xelean doesn't fly away again. That's why I can't trust someone like Gell for this task, even though he could easily and quickly move around the empire, and he can surely use the ring without any problems." says Lilian, looking at me seriously.
"Lili, the orc wizard is looking for you, for I don't know what matters related to some deposits in the docks..." says suddenly a deep and masculine voice that I don't know, and I see that it's Sebastian who is going down to the basement. "I think he said something about the medicine for our home".
'So that's his voice? I thought he couldn't talk. Hmm, not bad'
"The orc wizard... hahaha, it's the wolf. We were just talking about him," I say, laughing amusedly at the coincidence and looking at Lilian.
But suddenly Lilian blushes intensely and starts hastily combing her hair with her hands.
"Ahh, thank you... Tell her I'm coming. No! I'd better go w-with you..... I didn't know you'd be back before your training... y-you should have warned me so I'd have time to get ready," says the girl, who is normally the picture of self-control and calmness, in a high-pitched, stunned voice, as she stands up straightening her clothes, and look at the newcomer with a gawking smile "Deirdre, erm.... can you keep practicing by yourself? I have to go with Sebastian.... t-to see what Gell needs, I mean.... See you later."
As soon as she finishes speaking, Lilian rushes out the door, taking her bodyguard with her and holding him with both hands by one arm in a tight embrace.
At her behavior, I can only stare at her open-mouthed, surprised at the radical change of attitude.
'Now I can be sure that she is not interested in Master in that way.... But I don't understand her; Master is much more handsome than that Sebastian guy.'
I keep practicing alone for minutes.
Suddenly, for a few seconds, I seem to feel a flow of energy leave my body and head to the ring, but the next instant, when I try to focus on the feeling, it disappears.
"Agh, I hate magic; why can't I make it work?!" I say, looking at the mythril ring in the palm of my hands angrily, as if it's the cause of all my problems.
'But I can't give up.... I have to see him again.'
'Just you wait, Master. I'm coming for you. Even if it's the last thing I do in this life, I'm going to catch up with you, I promise!"