life is a curse

I know this is a shit start but most great stories are. so let me begin by telling you a very good peace of wisdom a good friend of mine told me once, anything worth having isn't worth keeping and anything worth keep isn't worth having. now that made no sense to me when it was first said to me but he broke it down and explained it like this. life is like a drug and the myriad beings who consume it are the addicts one taste they want more and they keep going and going and it creates a struggle where the strong devour the meek. to simply put it there is no cliched where life is a happy ever after there is no happy ever after. you live you breath you die simple as that. everything in between doesn't mean a thing to anything beyond your life hereafter moment. once you live this world that car you treasured the wife you fucked the kids you had all will be replacing you in some form or fashion or taking your stuff from you. your cars future could be a junk yard your kids could decide to like the same gender so they don't got to die knowing they left kids behind as you did. your wife could marry another man and realize she never loved you. everything is a cycle and once your hooked there's no out till your dead. for some that's obtainable for others it seems destiny is a real bitch to. when I was younger my mother made this whole fantasy about how great life was and how easy it was but she never explained that it wasn't entirely the truth. she didn't break it down enough and as I made that journey I learned why. for each action there is an opposite and equal reaction I hate to quote newton but some of the simplest things are the truth. I learned the hard way but I'm sure you'd agree it seemed to be worth it after all everyone did. It started in high school for me that's where inside a year reality took in for the worst. I was dating the most amazing hottest chick who makes heads roll. nice titts raven black hair pierced ears tattoo under her breasts that read "if you can read this your not doing it right" it was one of those tatts kids would type lol about if they figured out what it meant. she was bad and she had the most green eyes I've ever seen I fell into those eyes and drowned daily. but my life wasn't due to have those luxuries. I found out young the art of betrayal and how badly it can hurt. her and I were steady for a while but I wanted a woman who I could have by my side like all those romance novels and the action movies where the guy and girl stick it out like a duo. even the old westerns and classics like bonnie and clyde. but life is only very brief commercial moments of happiness interrupting the everyday shitty broadcast show of what it actually is. my betrayal was splendid I'd have to say it was one of the worst moments in my existence of living or so I thought. I was headed to my girlfriend's house I had alot of freedom at sixteen granted I didn't have a car like other sixteen year olds but I did like to walk or steal my uncle's harley when I didn't feel like walking. but today I walked something just felt like today was a walking day. I made my way to her house ten miles across town passing the school that was smack dab in the middle between us. this particular day I stopped to pay my dues to the dead in the cemetery at the beginning of her road and then continued on every moment every breath felt like a clock ticking down but I was strangely carefree and empty that day nothing was to affect me. if I had noticed it then I'd probably tell you that was my mind being readied for what my instincts already suspected but I was never one to trust my gut as some would say and ignored it as being usual for me. when i arrived at her house their was a mustang in her drive. I knew her mom's car was a fiat and I had yet to meet her dad cause he was a military contractor and was overseas at the moment. so I figured the vehicle was his. her sister immediately rushed up with their dog(for the love of me his name was stupid so I'd never be able to tell you cause I forgot it) and she tried to stop me insisting i walk with her and the dog that loved me to death and was obedient upon a glance to me. I tried to shrug her off dread entering me. her sister was the type of woman I would one day chase big titts and ass because the dark minx elflike beauties would soon have a different meaning to me one less attractive and more of a painful reminder. I shrugged past her like she was water flowing around a rock and made my way as silent as the dead into the house and followed the sounds and scents that hit me all at once. the smell was so strong they had to been going for hours cause I could taste it just smelling it. I walked in and there she was straddling another man begging like a bitch in heat. her titts swaying as he licked at them and groaned. I could only imagine what he was feeling but I was feeling a different feeling it was consuming me and making me feel uncontrollable like my impulse to act was on overdrive on top of that it was euphoric prolly the best feeling I ever felt in my life. I could control it but I was excited both mentally and physically to get in a fight. my only thought about that was dear God don't tell me I have a fucked up sex kink one where fighting and fucking go hand in hand. I moved and grabbed her and tossed her off him before I was even thinking and was challenging him. he came at me and for the first time I got my first ass whooping. come to find out the man wasn't our age he only looked it she a high schooler was having sex with a 28year old that was and is indeed a pro fighter. whole eleven years age difference. I got fucked up but that wasn't the end of it he pulled his knife out and was going to slit my throat and she grabbed his arm and begged him not to. he and I both misunderstood and I was touched she was gonna save me. then she grabbed the knife and came towards me before I could see what happened he was kicking me so hard in all my lower regions that I blacked out and last thing I knew was bolting up right in an unfamiliar bed body aching everywhere. I looked around and realized I was alone in a hospital room no machinery. and I had something on my toe. I pulled it off and shit myself being annoyed and irritated I couldn't believe this did they plan to fuck with me now and set me up to think I died. they beat me and now play head games with me. I stood but the world was spinning and I was extremely nauseous I made my way to reception and the nurses looked panicked as a hunger slowly grew in me one completely unexplainable, I was starving. I was immediately rushed to a room and hooked up on an IV. I laid there just wishing I knew what the fuck was going on. the doctors didn't say much while they discussed trauma causing memory loss and other factors they ran scans and asked questions and I couldn't answer. my mother came in but before she could rush to me the doctor pulled her aside they had a hurried brief conversation where he said "he doesn't remember how he got here or what happened it's best not to remind him or let him discuss it it might cause more harm than good." my mother ran to me and played the role good she asked me questions and who did this and all the while faking the knowledgeless concerned parent role while being genuinely concerned. after I was released I searched for Sam and her boy toy yeah I wanted revenge. I found sam one day bloody and beat on the side of the road just left there I knew it was him something in me knew just by instinct and look that he did this it was his mo. he left her for dead. I carried her in my arms not out of love for once I realized I didn't feel anything a part me was awake was now dead. no I carried her to safety out of pity and a need for answers and a revenge of my own. I was fixing to be 17 my life would be my own and I'd see to it. I had some preparations to make and a relative many didn't speak to cause he was a ghost most thought was dead. only a few of us knew different. this relative could teach me what I needed being ex special forces and black ops he had ways around everything no body knew where he lived they called him a ghost for a reason you couldn't find him till he found you. and he seemed to always know when you were looking for him. I dealt with the task at hand first so I took sam to the hospital I walked ten miles carrying her and oddly it didn't feel like I was struggling at all I barely noticed to me it seemed like I was just taking a stroll. once there I told them I found her on the side of the road ten miles out and she needed care I was asked to show the police where, so I took them. coincidentally and I didn't know it but the cop let it slip that it was the same place I was found not to long ago. they assumed correctly the same perp must've harmed both of us and they asked who she was and I said flatly my ex she dumped me for the guy who harmed both of us. asked if I knew his name and I told them the same thing I told them six months ago I don't know and all I could remember was his face as he was beating me not how I ended up here or anything nor how I made it to the hospital all the hours between his face being the last thing I saw to the hospital strangely gone. I intentionally left her involvement out and lied about parts because a part of me knew they'd find her faster and she had info I needed so I needed first dibs on her before the police or anyone should know anything. I made my way on foot back to the hospital lost in thought.