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Coffee With A Side Of Lovecraft

Kiri_KiwiS
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Synopsis
“Silver Lining: An advantage that comes from a difficult or unpleasant situation.” One failed contract is all it took for Kyori Tenkyuu, “The Repeating Swordsman”, to lose everything. He was left with only a single eye, a scarred psyche, and stripped of his connection to the arcane arts. Out a job, at his wit’s end, and with no other recourse, he relents with rekindling an old hobby of his. Day in and day out, he works to rebuild an abandoned tavern once meant for adventures, thus renovating the establishment into the "Nocturne Victoria" cafe. His first employee? The very same person, if you can call “them” that, responsible for his forced retirement… One can only hope he is not one to carry a grudge against an eldritch horror...

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Chapter 1 - ///~Pour Me~\\\

♡~///["You are mine and mine alone..."]\\\~♡

...

...

...

Shit, fuck, shit-fuck... It hurts…

It hurts so much.

I've joked about doing this during horrible hangovers and head-splitting migraines. Those are pure hell, of course, they are, no questions about that. No one, not even my archnemesis deserves to accept responsibility for their raging alcoholism. Holy hell what I would give to have one of those instead right now.

It has been hours since then, and at first, I shrugged it off. Now though? No need to be professional. No need to keep up appearances. I'm not screaming and crying, but I'm pretty close.

I can barely keep myself from bashing my skull into this shitty countertop right now.

My hand is gripping that same counter, the other hand trying its best to comfort my eye… well, what little is left of my eye, at least.

It was supposed to be a normal excavation. Something a little routine. The crew I rolled with had been hired out to watch some posh pricks "uncover an ancient secret" in some old shabby ruins of some dusty race. Who would have figured we'd all be dead now? Except for me, of course. I wish I cared about that job more, I would have been gone a lot quicker if I was as passionate as the other sellswords to make some extra cash.

But no, I just needed to sleep on the job.

I just had to open an eye to glance at the assholes keeping me from my nap. The next thing I know, they're all dead and my right eye is exploding like one of those Sanctum fireworks. I should have ignored them but they screamed. Sure, I despised them all, but part of me was still worried about those nutcases.

Trouble for them meant trouble for me, I didn't feel like falling asleep while a troll, bandits or the undead started swarming us. Maybe that's selfish, but being a sellsword isn't a job for selflessness. The only way to collect your pay is to survive the contract, so I needed to make sure they weren't a bunch of dramatic assholes screaming at a spider or something.

I wish it was a spider now though.

That sight will never leave my mind again. I can't even begin to describe it, mainly because I'm afraid I'll lose my other eye… or worse.

Lucky me, though, the bleeding stopped a while ago, when I was still holding myself together. That might have been my best work, pretending to be as fit as a bard's lute. Maybe I should have taken up acting, or become a bard myself.

I mustered up the grit to glance in the mirror. My cheeks were still coated in my own bodily fluids, go figure. My hand peeled away, and I felt queasy again. Where my left eye once stood, a crimson and crusted socket now replaced it. With my right eye, I glanced to the bottle of liquor I brought with me, as well as the gauze and bandages.

Closer to the sink, a mug to the brim with my strongest drink. Sedatives would take too long, so would those 'medicines" of that Good Doctor's. This was the next best thing, and I was too busy fighting back some tears to even care.

I emptied that tankard like I was a dire wolf dehydrated in the middle of the Solitaire dunes. The next part, even though I was borderline plastered, would be an absolute bitch to get through…

...

...

Most of my right side was covered in gauze and recoated in bandaging. Took way longer than I hoped for, but at least it's done now. Little shabby around the edges but hey, my hands were shaky and I was almost red-cheeked. All things considered, I don't think I did too bad of a job.

The fourth round of alcohol was starting to kick in though, and I still needed more answers. Stumbling out of the bathroom and holding onto the hallway walls, pretty clear I was in rough shape and slowly losing a grip on myself. The living room lights were still on and after my eyes-... My eye, adjusted, I saw the dick that caused this all.

"Mortal, you are still in pain." That grey-skinned thing blankly said.

"...Well, no fucking shit, no thanks to you either." I spat between my panting.

They sat on my couch in a proper form, almost mocking my earlier display of formality I think. It wore a piece of black clothing, almost like a single-piece dress made from the void itself. Beneath "its" gown, several foreign tendrils slithered. Their shoulder-length hair was white...but also had a tinge of pink, maybe? Truth be told, they could pass as a demi-human of the octopus variant, a pretty rare strain. But the eyes that littered their body kind of blew their cover. Black sclera and amber irises, kind of like my own on the latter part, covered several sections of their body. Arms, their half-exposed chest, shoulders, the neck too, and the three eyes on their face. In my opinion, it was an upgrade from the sight I saw right before...yeah.

"Your hostility is expected, though your lack of gratitude is not. Was my salving of the wound helpful to you?" They asked.

I ate my words from earlier. Dying from bleeding out wasn't worth the trouble, and their "help" at least had soothed some of the pain. Keyword, some. "It...was," I admitted. "It stopped the bleeding, I guess."

"Then my aid worked as intended. You, mortals, are exceptionally feeble, any additional ailment would have resulted in the adverse effect."

"Could have done something for the shit fest I just went through…"

"You had already found a solution to that. There was no further need, lest you were willing to revoke your five most primary senses.."

"No further need my ass…" I grumbled. "W-whatever. I still need to figure out what the hell I'm going to do with… whatever you are."

The... monster or whatever it was stood up from their seat. Their sets of eyes blinked, staring into me like I was nothing more than a foggy window. Even now, as tipsy as I was, I felt a sharp gust of wind rush down my spine. No, not like a "chill" at an eerie sound, more like a "Run with everything you have right now" type. As they rose, their figure and disembodied voice both became more… grounded in reality. Thet shifted from a masculine-presenting figure to a feminine-presenting one, at varying levels several times. After "choosing" one they seemingly preferred, they crept their way toward me. "As stated before, Kyori Tenkyuu…"

"What "I" am, is incomprehensible to you mortals. My name alone sounds within a language you, nor no other living being is meant to speak, let alone hear. My influence is immeasurable and my true form is enough to shatter the souls of the living. Your passing glance is what spared you. No other mortal has been so… lucky, with my kind. Even fewer still have garnered my own attention."

I'm no coward, don't get me wrong, but I walked into the wall behind me as they drew closer. Eventually, I could retreat no further. Their current form was shorter than my own stature, but they still towered over me. The tendrils from their garb sealed off my chance to slip away, even though they knew I would never be able to escape them. It wouldn't matter, I had already gained the undivided interest of an eldritch horror...

"Tell me, Kyori Tenkyuu...." They trailed, lifting my chin upward with an unnaturally long finger. "Do I… frighten you?"

"Uh yeah, a little..." I half lied. "...Okay, maybe like a lot."

"Oh, is that s-?"

"Like, an ungodly amount. If I decided to eat breakfast, I would probably be shitting myself right about… hey, when were you summoned again?"

"Three hou-"

"Yeah, three hours ago."

"Okay, that's enough. I understand your poin-"

"So terrifying that even a goblin marauder would try and kill themselves."

"There is no need for further elaboration Kyori Ten-"

"I've been to a Naga mating ritual before, and even though they used a disemboweled pack of kobolds for lubricant, it came nowhere near as gut wren-."

"KYORI TENKYUU!" Their voice echoed, cutting me off for a change.

"...yes?" I whimpered, fighting back the urge to sink further into the wall.

"That was far more than necessary."

At that moment, all that left my mouth was a simple "...O-okay."

The entity pulled away, and I sank to my feet. Pretty soon I fell asleep in a sluggish combination of my psyche having been drained, being physically exhausted, and of course, the liquor biting me in the ass. I… Don't want to talk about where or how I woke up, it's quite embarrassing. I'll leave you with the hint that it wasn't my bed, but rather somewhere with more than one overly friendly abysmal appendage and an unfamiliar set of legs for a pillow.

Aside from all that, I promise I'm generally a lot more professional than this. I was just busy dealing with more than my share of sanity depriving moments for one day. Besides, you walked in on a very poor time. Hopefully, you understand where I'm coming from, whoever you are.

But that was the day I met them. From then onward, I gave the eldritch abomination the name of "Void Erudoritchi." Thankfully Void seemed to enjoy having their "pet" gift them a "lowly moniker". I forgot to mention… According to some ancient rules, I've become Void's property. When the deity sort of salved my ruptured eye, they gifted me the smallest imaginable part of themself. This stripped me of my connection to the Astral Planes, our form of magic, likely to keep the eldritch horror from corrupting everyone else's means of using the arcane arts.

In this world at least, no access to the divine gates means you're screwed in the worst way possible. Even the lowest of farmers can access these gates. I've become useless, baggage, and downright a laughing stock.

I know what you're thinking, and the answer is "No." Void's piece of existence that was "given" to me offered no benefits other than stopping me from keeling over. There were no special or unique attributes gained. Us mortals, atronachs, elves, or anything else, do not in any way function, let alone perceive the eldritchs' reality the same way. Nor would we be able to. So while some of their power resided in me now, I'd never have the endurance, fortitude, or sanity, etcetera. to use any of it.

Think about it like a figurine or idol poster. They're nice to have, make your room look decorated and lively, your parents and friends might despise or be envious of you for having them, but you can't really do much with those items. Well, unless you bring a jar into the mix, but that's another story… My point is, it's all in namesake.

Another thing? They had been sealed away for eons, a blink of an eye for most of Erudoritchi's kind, yet so much about us "short-lived folk" had changed. And though they existed before our own time ever came to fruition, Void was considered exceptionally young, leaving me as their "guide" and "observation" to see how we exactly worked.

Tomorrow I'll go look for easy jobs or small businesses to invest in. With any luck, I could start up an adventure's guild to earn money since I've practically been forced into retirement. Which, don't get me wrong, infuriates me to no avail, but not many people can say they were able to retire from being a sellsword. Silver lining? At least my prior fame won't go to waste, I'm sure rumors will start about some massive battle or something and not… what actually happened.

♡~///["...Till our souls be left unbridled."]\\\~♡

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